So I've been here in Malibu Beach for about a month now, and let me tell you, this place is a true paradise! I love everything about this place: the beach, the girls, the atmosphere, the girls, the humidity, the ocean, the girls.
Did I forget to mention the girls?
In my time that I had spent in Malibu, there was one particular girl that had caught my attention: Laura Silverman. Laura was smart, funny, and insanely beautiful. Not to mention the fact that she was crazy about me. I think that was a plus.
We've been hanging out for a couple weeks, and those couple weeks have been a lot of fun. We've been taking walks, going to dinner, running, talking on the phone, you name it. Laura is so much fun to be around, and lately I seem to be spending more and more time with her.
I've been having a great time with her. I really like her.
"So have you fucked this girl yet?"
My best friend Ben always did have a way with words.
"No, Ben. Not yet."
"So when's it gonna happen?"
"I'm not sure. I want to, and I know she wants to."
"You could do it in the back of the Camaro. Follow in your grandparents' footsteps."
Suddenly, I found it difficult to enjoy my Honey Nut Cheerios.
"I think we're done with this conversation."
Luckily my appetite was restored when I saw Laura knocking on the sliding glass door.
"Hey, you."
I kissed her as she entered the house.
"What's happening, you wanna go for a walk?"
"Yeah, that sounds nice."
"You wanna come, Ben?"
"No, it's okay. I'll just stay here and watch your grandma's Buddy Hacket DVD."
We laughed and then walked along the beach. It was quiet, and that's what I liked about it.
"So, it's the end of June now."
"That's so cute, you looked at your calendar!"
She hit me playfully as we walked along, holding hands and swinging our arms back and forth.
"Planning to stick around for July?"
"Oh, of course. July is the best month here in California."
"I love the fourth. The fireworks are so amazing."
"I know. I was here for the 4th of July a couple years ago. It was incredible."
"It gets better every year."
"I bet this year will be the best you've had."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Because you'll be watching the fireworks with ME this year."
"Who says I'll wanna hang out with you on the 4th of July?"
She smiled at me.
"Alright, I'll make you a proposition."
"I'm listening."
"I'll race you to the lifeguard shack. If I win, you and I watch the fireworks together on the 4th of July. If you win, you don't have to."
"An interesting proposition."
"Whatta ya say?"
"I say--"
And then she was running. I decided I should probably run after her, afterall, I didn't want to lose the race. Suddenly I caught up to her and she decided to trip me. Luckily I could take her down with me.
There we were, lying in the sand and laughing so hard I figured we'd start crying, when I decided it would be appropriate to give her a soft kiss on the lips. She kissed back, and we just laid there for a while.
"By the way, I think you won the race. I guess I'll just have to tolerate watching the fireworks with you."
"I guess you'll just have to deal with it."
We were smiling and laughing. I can't remember a time where I've been involved with someone so...simple. There was nothing complicated about Laura.
I'll give you an example of a complicated situation I was in not too long ago: my ex-girlfriend, Dara, got together with me right after she dumped her boyfriend who cheated on her. Six weeks into the relationship, he comes back into the picture and she leaves me to get back with him. I know it may be embarassing, but that's the longest relationship I've ever had. For the most part, though, it was the best six weeks of my life.
Uh, I mean, that's all in the past now and I don't think of Dara anymore. Never. In fact, I've never heard of this Dara person!
"What are you thinking about right now?"
The fact that I sorta miss my ex-girlfriend. Uh, I mean...
"Nothing really, except for the fact that I love spending time with you."
Good save, Mac-Attack. Focus on Laura; it's all about Laura.
"I love spending time with you too, Mac. These last couple weeks have been amazing, I don't want it to end."
"Well, you give me a good reason to stick around here for a while. How's the rest of your life sound?"
Okay, I think I may have gone a little overboard there.
"Well, let's think about the rest of the summer first."
"Probably a good idea."
This isn't good. Dara hasn't been on my mind in weeks! Why, all of a sudden, am I thinking about her? It's not like I have feelings for her anymore, I swear I'm over her. She left me, who needs her?
When I got back to my grandma's place a little later, I decided to look to Ben for guidance.
"You started thinking about Dara while you were with Laura?"
"This is terrible. I can't be thinking about Dara. I don't WANT to be thinking about Dara."
"Well, Mac, she was the first girl you ever fell in love with."
"Yeah, I know, but it's over now. It's been over. I thought I got over her pretty quickly."
Ben was silent for a minute as he seemed to be gathering his thoughts. Finally:
"You didn't get any closure."
"What do you mean? We talked on the phone, she dumped me."
"Did you say anything?"
I thought about that phone call for a minute. Honestly, all I said in the entire phone conversation was: "I'm always interested in knowing what you're wearing."
Uh, sorry. That was a different phone conversation.
What I said in this particular instance was: "Dara, you don't have to do this. I love you."
I didn't get a chance to say anything else because she hung up. Wow, it's funny how we can recall certain things sometimes.
"I think you should call her...and do it quickly. I Love Lucy is about to come on!"
"You really should be getting out of this house."
I took out my phone and went into the other room. I dialed Dara's number.
602 555 7279
"Hello?"
"Hi, Dara."
"Mac...how are you?"
"I'm okay. Doing a lot better now actually."
"That's good. I heard you went MIA. Where are you these days?"
"My grandmother has this beach house in Malibu. It's pretty sweet."
"I always wanted to meet your grandmother."
"Well, you didn't."
That seemed sorta unfriendly.
"Sorry."
"It's okay, I kinda deserved that."
"How's Ray?"
"Ray? Oh, he's great. I think he and I can be really happy this time around."
"That's good."
"Are you seeing anyone right now?"
"Yeah, I've been seeing this girl here. She's really great."
"I'm glad."
There was a pause. During that pause, I thought about what Dara had asked me. The moment she asked if I was seeing someone, I immediately thought of Laura. I thought about how much fun Laura and I were having and how much I didn't want it to end.
"When are you coming home?"
"I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know when I'm back though."
"Yeah, definitely."
There was another pause. During this pause, I realized something: I had moved on with my life. I didn't need to call Dara in order to get closure because I had already made my own peace with the fact that her and I were over. I was really okay with it, because I had found someone else who I cared about.
"Well, I really should be getting off the phone now. It was nice talking to you."
"Mac...I'm sorry for how things turned out with us. Ray was my first love, I needed to give him another shot."
"Listen, I completely understand. I'm fine; no hard feelings."
As soon as we got off the phone, I ran over to Laura's house. She opened up the sliding glass door and I immediately kissed her.
"Wow, you missed me already?"
"Yeah, I did. Do you want to do something tonight?"
"Yeah. Maybe we can watch a movie. Be back here around 7? I'll even cook for you."
"Sounds perfect."
The moment our lips touched that afternoon, I remembered what it was about Laura that had caught my attention. I was glad I was able to get closure with Dara, because now I was completely open, and at that moment, I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather open the door for than Laura.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
A Double Date in the Life of the Mac-Attack
So my trip to California has been going great. I've gotten to spend some time with my Grandma, I just met this really amazing girl, Laura, and it's been great just hangin' at the beach.
However, even with all the good things, I sorta missed Arizona...NOT!
I had been in Los Angeles for about three weeks when I heard my phone ring one afternoon.
"Hello?"
"Enjoying the beach?"
It was none other than my best friend Ben. I just then realized that I hadn't spoken to him since I had left town on that fateful Sunday night after Convention.
"Ben! It's great to hear from you."
"Must be nice falling from the face of the planet!"
I laughed.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I needed to get away."
"Perfect timing too."
I sensed a little sarcasm in Ben's voice.
"What's going on? Is everything okay?"
"Why should I tell you on the phone when I can tell you in person?"
"How would you...hold on--"
I looked outside and saw my best friend standing on the driveway of my grandmother's house.
I ran outside and gave my best friend a big hug.
"You crazy son of a bitch! What are you doing here?"
"Well, you missed out on B's party for the first time in three years, I figured something must be up."
I still couldn't believe it. I was so happy to have my best friend by my side. Just when I thought this trip couldn't be any better, it just did.
We went inside the house and sat down in the living room.
"Nice place. Three weeks in Malibu and you're already living the life of a highroller."
"If the life of a highroller is driving my grandma to her various appointments and what not, then yes, I am living the life of a highroller."
"Hahahaha. Mac-Attack, I can most definitely see why you would've missed B's party for this."
"The thought hadn't even crossed my mind, Ben. Honestly, I didn't even leave this house until last week."
"You mean you haven't been partying with Gahl and Max and all them?"
"They're up at Camp, being counselors and what not. They said they'll all send postcards though."
"So what have you been up to? In three weeks, something exciting must have happened. You're the fucking Mac-Attack for crying out loud."
He did have a point. I am the fucking Mac-Attack.
"Knock knock."
That seemed to answer Ben's question for me.
"Hey, Laura," I said as I opened the sliding glass door for her.
"Hey, Mac. I was hoping we could take a walk or something."
"Yeah, that sounds great--"
"Ahem."
I suddenly remembered that Ben had just gotten there.
"Laura, this is my best friend Ben. He just got here like 15 minutes ago from Phoenix."
"Benjamin Rudolph Sheiner at your service."
Btw, Ben said this in a British accent.
"Well, it's nice to meet you. Mac has told me so much about Phoenix."
"Oh, I'm sure Young Michael has told you all sorts of exciting stuff."
He was continuing with a British accent.
"So, are you British?"
Suddenly, Ben realized that he was not an 18th Century British Gentleman.
"Um, no. I'm actually from Newport originally, but I moved to Phoenix in the sixth grade."
Laura gave me a strange look.
"Uh, Mac, let me call you later."
"Probably a good idea."
She walked out and I looked at Ben.
"You're middle name is Rudolph?"
"You didn't know that?"
"Does ANYBODY know that?"
"Probably not."
I can't say I'm surprised at how Ben introduced himself. He's never been particularly good with women.
"So when did that happen?"
"When did what happen?"
"You and that Laura girl. When did it happen?"
"Last week. Went to a bonfire with her, she's really cool."
"Yeah, she seems like it."
Ben looked very serious for a minute.
"Mac, Aaron and Melinda are an item now."
Well, I didn't see that one coming.
"I didn't see that one coming."
"It became official at B's party last weekend."
I was speechless. It was hard to believe that Melinda had moved on so quickly. At prom, she told me that she had been in love with me for a long time; we've been friends our whole lives.
"Well, I guess that's good for them. I hope she's happy."
"She sure seemed like it. You seem to have moved on too, though."
"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Laura is a fantastic gal; really terriffic."
"Is she from the 1970s, when those descriptions were last used?"
"You're just too fucking hilarious."
"I try to be."
We were laughing for a little bit.
"Hey, I got an idea. I'm supposed to be going out with Laura tomorrow night; I bet she has a friend who we can fix you up with? You feel like staying a few days?"
"Do you think I woulda driven six hours if I didn't feel like staying a few days?"
"I'm so glad you are here, Ben. This is gonna be great."
However, not all was great. Not only did I have Melinda on my mind suddenly, but I found out when I went to Laura's that finding a date for Ben might be difficult.
"Mac, all my friends are taken."
"You don't have any single friends?"
"None that your friend would be interested in."
"Trust me, his standards aren't that high."
I should say so. Especially after he hooked up with this girl Ariel Woods on the Disneyland trip Freshman year. Wow, that was gross.
"Okay, I have a cousin who lives not far from here. Her name is Gertrude and she's single."
"Gertrude? Is she an 80 year old woman?"
I enjoyed hearing Laura's laugh. In fact, out of all the girls I've dated, Laura wins for Best Laugh.
"Ben and I will pick you girls up at your house around 7. I bet we could roll in my grandfather's old Camaro."
"Oh, I love a man with a fast car."
"Oh yeah?"
"Especially if it has a big back seat."
"I don't think you'll be too disappointed."
"I hope not."
She kissed me softly. It was a really bad time for my phone to start vibrating.
"Is that your phone, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Very funny,"
I answered my phone.
"Hello?"
"Michael!!!"
Oh goody; it was my overly feminine younger brother JT.
"Hi, JT. How are you?"
"I am just fantabulous! How are you?"
"I'm good. Uh, can I call you back? I'm sorta busy."
"Too busy to talk to your own brother???"
He's really overdramatic like that.
"Are you calling about anything important?"
"Um, yeah. I wanted to tell you all about my amazing day of shopping!"
"Goodbye, JT."
The last thing I ever want to hear about is JT's shopping sprees. To be honest, there's nothing in the world that I hate more than shopping.
"Fun conversation?"
"Oh, tons. I gotta go; God knows how Ben is doing alone with my Grandma."
I got back to my grandma's house in time to hear her telling the story of her and my grandpa's wedding night.
"You know, Benjamin, back then we waited until we were married to engage in intercourse. I tell you, life was so much simpler only making love to one man for my entire life."
"Thank you for that, Grandma."
"Oh, Michael, you're home. Benjamin tells me that you two are going on a double date tonight."
"Yeah."
"Do you need any condoms?"
"No, I think I'm pretty much covered in that area."
"Alrighty, well, if you need anything."
"Thanks, Mrs. Maccabbi. It was a lovely story!"
Once my grandma was finally out of the room...
"Did you know that your grandparents fucked in that old Camaro out there?"
"Wow. Thank you for that, Ben."
"What's the story on tonight?"
"Laura has a girl for you."
"Is she cute?"
"I didn't see a picture."
"What's her name?"
"Uh, I didn't ask."
I lied, but how could I tell her that his date's name was Gertrude? He'd never go for it!
7:00 came around really fast. Ben and I got dressed in our best attire, for we were taking these girls out on the town. We got in the Camaro and drove a couple houses down to Laura's place.
"Um, Mac?"
"Yes, Ben?"
"Please tell me that we're meeting my date at the restaurant."
"I'd be lying to you if I told you that, Ben."
"Mac?!"
"Hi, guys."
"Laura, hey! Is this your cousin?"
Laura's cousin looked like a clone of that TV Personality, Ugly Betty...you know, except not as good-looking.
"Hi, I'm Gertrude."
Ben whispered to me: "It has a name?"
"Be nice," I whispered back to him.
"Gertrude, this is Mac and Ben."
"Hi, Ben."
"Hi, uh..."
"Gertrude," I whispered.
"Gertrude. Um, how are you this fine evening?"
"You're cute...ACHOO!"
"Bless you. Um, sorry. Gertrude has a bit of a cold."
"That's--"
"Fine. That's cool, we're not germaphobes here. You girls get in the back, we've got a whole night in store."
The night was a little shaky. First, when we got to the restaurant, Gertrude sneezed all over Ben's salad.
"Oh, sorry about that, Ben. At least I didn't sneeze on your steak."
Then she sneezed on his steak...and his baked potato.
"Oh, it's quite alright. I'll just have the waiter take it back...for the fiftieth time."
"You know what, it's okay. Because dinner is on ME!"
I ended up paying for five steaks: mine and all four of Ben's.
After we were done at the restaurant, I figured we'd test our luck at the beach. Afterall, the beach brings out the best in people.
"You wanna go for a walk?"
"I'd love to...you kids have fun now."
I was so happy to be alone with Laura as we walked on the beach.
"Okay, I am so sorry about Gertrude. I can tell your friend is just having an awful time!"
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I've gotta make it up to him somehow. He's probably gonna be sneezing for weeks after tonight!"
"Well, if it's any consolation, I think it was really noble of you to set her up. No one ever wants to go out with Gertrude."
"Yeah, same with Ben. The guy can't ever seem to catch a break."
"How about you? Do you catch a break very often?"
"I've been known to find some good girls every now and then."
"Who says I'm good?"
As we heard the sounds of the crashing tide, we began making out on the beach.
"It's okay if you're not good. Sometimes I like a girl who's a little bad."
"I never said I wasn't good."
She had a very seductive smile on her face.
Suddenly:
"Gertrude, can I please have my pants???"
Oh boy. I most definitely won the award for Worst Best Friend!
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
However, even with all the good things, I sorta missed Arizona...NOT!
I had been in Los Angeles for about three weeks when I heard my phone ring one afternoon.
"Hello?"
"Enjoying the beach?"
It was none other than my best friend Ben. I just then realized that I hadn't spoken to him since I had left town on that fateful Sunday night after Convention.
"Ben! It's great to hear from you."
"Must be nice falling from the face of the planet!"
I laughed.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I needed to get away."
"Perfect timing too."
I sensed a little sarcasm in Ben's voice.
"What's going on? Is everything okay?"
"Why should I tell you on the phone when I can tell you in person?"
"How would you...hold on--"
I looked outside and saw my best friend standing on the driveway of my grandmother's house.
I ran outside and gave my best friend a big hug.
"You crazy son of a bitch! What are you doing here?"
"Well, you missed out on B's party for the first time in three years, I figured something must be up."
I still couldn't believe it. I was so happy to have my best friend by my side. Just when I thought this trip couldn't be any better, it just did.
We went inside the house and sat down in the living room.
"Nice place. Three weeks in Malibu and you're already living the life of a highroller."
"If the life of a highroller is driving my grandma to her various appointments and what not, then yes, I am living the life of a highroller."
"Hahahaha. Mac-Attack, I can most definitely see why you would've missed B's party for this."
"The thought hadn't even crossed my mind, Ben. Honestly, I didn't even leave this house until last week."
"You mean you haven't been partying with Gahl and Max and all them?"
"They're up at Camp, being counselors and what not. They said they'll all send postcards though."
"So what have you been up to? In three weeks, something exciting must have happened. You're the fucking Mac-Attack for crying out loud."
He did have a point. I am the fucking Mac-Attack.
"Knock knock."
That seemed to answer Ben's question for me.
"Hey, Laura," I said as I opened the sliding glass door for her.
"Hey, Mac. I was hoping we could take a walk or something."
"Yeah, that sounds great--"
"Ahem."
I suddenly remembered that Ben had just gotten there.
"Laura, this is my best friend Ben. He just got here like 15 minutes ago from Phoenix."
"Benjamin Rudolph Sheiner at your service."
Btw, Ben said this in a British accent.
"Well, it's nice to meet you. Mac has told me so much about Phoenix."
"Oh, I'm sure Young Michael has told you all sorts of exciting stuff."
He was continuing with a British accent.
"So, are you British?"
Suddenly, Ben realized that he was not an 18th Century British Gentleman.
"Um, no. I'm actually from Newport originally, but I moved to Phoenix in the sixth grade."
Laura gave me a strange look.
"Uh, Mac, let me call you later."
"Probably a good idea."
She walked out and I looked at Ben.
"You're middle name is Rudolph?"
"You didn't know that?"
"Does ANYBODY know that?"
"Probably not."
I can't say I'm surprised at how Ben introduced himself. He's never been particularly good with women.
"So when did that happen?"
"When did what happen?"
"You and that Laura girl. When did it happen?"
"Last week. Went to a bonfire with her, she's really cool."
"Yeah, she seems like it."
Ben looked very serious for a minute.
"Mac, Aaron and Melinda are an item now."
Well, I didn't see that one coming.
"I didn't see that one coming."
"It became official at B's party last weekend."
I was speechless. It was hard to believe that Melinda had moved on so quickly. At prom, she told me that she had been in love with me for a long time; we've been friends our whole lives.
"Well, I guess that's good for them. I hope she's happy."
"She sure seemed like it. You seem to have moved on too, though."
"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Laura is a fantastic gal; really terriffic."
"Is she from the 1970s, when those descriptions were last used?"
"You're just too fucking hilarious."
"I try to be."
We were laughing for a little bit.
"Hey, I got an idea. I'm supposed to be going out with Laura tomorrow night; I bet she has a friend who we can fix you up with? You feel like staying a few days?"
"Do you think I woulda driven six hours if I didn't feel like staying a few days?"
"I'm so glad you are here, Ben. This is gonna be great."
However, not all was great. Not only did I have Melinda on my mind suddenly, but I found out when I went to Laura's that finding a date for Ben might be difficult.
"Mac, all my friends are taken."
"You don't have any single friends?"
"None that your friend would be interested in."
"Trust me, his standards aren't that high."
I should say so. Especially after he hooked up with this girl Ariel Woods on the Disneyland trip Freshman year. Wow, that was gross.
"Okay, I have a cousin who lives not far from here. Her name is Gertrude and she's single."
"Gertrude? Is she an 80 year old woman?"
I enjoyed hearing Laura's laugh. In fact, out of all the girls I've dated, Laura wins for Best Laugh.
"Ben and I will pick you girls up at your house around 7. I bet we could roll in my grandfather's old Camaro."
"Oh, I love a man with a fast car."
"Oh yeah?"
"Especially if it has a big back seat."
"I don't think you'll be too disappointed."
"I hope not."
She kissed me softly. It was a really bad time for my phone to start vibrating.
"Is that your phone, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Very funny,"
I answered my phone.
"Hello?"
"Michael!!!"
Oh goody; it was my overly feminine younger brother JT.
"Hi, JT. How are you?"
"I am just fantabulous! How are you?"
"I'm good. Uh, can I call you back? I'm sorta busy."
"Too busy to talk to your own brother???"
He's really overdramatic like that.
"Are you calling about anything important?"
"Um, yeah. I wanted to tell you all about my amazing day of shopping!"
"Goodbye, JT."
The last thing I ever want to hear about is JT's shopping sprees. To be honest, there's nothing in the world that I hate more than shopping.
"Fun conversation?"
"Oh, tons. I gotta go; God knows how Ben is doing alone with my Grandma."
I got back to my grandma's house in time to hear her telling the story of her and my grandpa's wedding night.
"You know, Benjamin, back then we waited until we were married to engage in intercourse. I tell you, life was so much simpler only making love to one man for my entire life."
"Thank you for that, Grandma."
"Oh, Michael, you're home. Benjamin tells me that you two are going on a double date tonight."
"Yeah."
"Do you need any condoms?"
"No, I think I'm pretty much covered in that area."
"Alrighty, well, if you need anything."
"Thanks, Mrs. Maccabbi. It was a lovely story!"
Once my grandma was finally out of the room...
"Did you know that your grandparents fucked in that old Camaro out there?"
"Wow. Thank you for that, Ben."
"What's the story on tonight?"
"Laura has a girl for you."
"Is she cute?"
"I didn't see a picture."
"What's her name?"
"Uh, I didn't ask."
I lied, but how could I tell her that his date's name was Gertrude? He'd never go for it!
7:00 came around really fast. Ben and I got dressed in our best attire, for we were taking these girls out on the town. We got in the Camaro and drove a couple houses down to Laura's place.
"Um, Mac?"
"Yes, Ben?"
"Please tell me that we're meeting my date at the restaurant."
"I'd be lying to you if I told you that, Ben."
"Mac?!"
"Hi, guys."
"Laura, hey! Is this your cousin?"
Laura's cousin looked like a clone of that TV Personality, Ugly Betty...you know, except not as good-looking.
"Hi, I'm Gertrude."
Ben whispered to me: "It has a name?"
"Be nice," I whispered back to him.
"Gertrude, this is Mac and Ben."
"Hi, Ben."
"Hi, uh..."
"Gertrude," I whispered.
"Gertrude. Um, how are you this fine evening?"
"You're cute...ACHOO!"
"Bless you. Um, sorry. Gertrude has a bit of a cold."
"That's--"
"Fine. That's cool, we're not germaphobes here. You girls get in the back, we've got a whole night in store."
The night was a little shaky. First, when we got to the restaurant, Gertrude sneezed all over Ben's salad.
"Oh, sorry about that, Ben. At least I didn't sneeze on your steak."
Then she sneezed on his steak...and his baked potato.
"Oh, it's quite alright. I'll just have the waiter take it back...for the fiftieth time."
"You know what, it's okay. Because dinner is on ME!"
I ended up paying for five steaks: mine and all four of Ben's.
After we were done at the restaurant, I figured we'd test our luck at the beach. Afterall, the beach brings out the best in people.
"You wanna go for a walk?"
"I'd love to...you kids have fun now."
I was so happy to be alone with Laura as we walked on the beach.
"Okay, I am so sorry about Gertrude. I can tell your friend is just having an awful time!"
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I've gotta make it up to him somehow. He's probably gonna be sneezing for weeks after tonight!"
"Well, if it's any consolation, I think it was really noble of you to set her up. No one ever wants to go out with Gertrude."
"Yeah, same with Ben. The guy can't ever seem to catch a break."
"How about you? Do you catch a break very often?"
"I've been known to find some good girls every now and then."
"Who says I'm good?"
As we heard the sounds of the crashing tide, we began making out on the beach.
"It's okay if you're not good. Sometimes I like a girl who's a little bad."
"I never said I wasn't good."
She had a very seductive smile on her face.
Suddenly:
"Gertrude, can I please have my pants???"
Oh boy. I most definitely won the award for Worst Best Friend!
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
A Bonfire in the Life of the Mac-Attack
Summer can be a crazy time for a lot of people. There's no school, there's not a whole lot to do, and it's hard to keep from being bored.
I decided to start my summer off by taking a spur-of-the-moment road trip to my grandmother's Malibu beach house. It's been great so far; the weather is pretty awesome...except for the whole "June Gloom" thing, but I was gonna be here for a while, at least long enough to watch the June gloom pass by.
However, I wasn't spending much time out of the house. I spent most of my days sitting around watching TV, thinking about all the problems back in Arizona that I had left behind. You know, I thought that being away from it all would keep my mind off of it, but sitting around wasn't really doing much good.
After two weeks of sitting on my ass, I figured that the best way to distract myself from my problems was to take a good, old-fashioned run across the beach. I've always loved beach-running; it's great for endurance.
"Grandma, I'm going for a run!"
"Oh, you've decided to be productive I see."
"Yeah, I think a run will be good for me. "
"Yeah, I'll bet. You've been getting so chubby just sitting around!"
I can always leave it to Grandma to make me feel good about myself.
"Yeah, so I guess I'll see you later."
"Okay. Have a nice run."
It was a little windy on this particular day, and just a tad bit cloudy. I started out by doing a few short sprints near the house, just to warm up. I was stretching when everything seemed to brighten up.
"You must be new around here."
She was blonde, tan, and had the greatest pair of legs I'd ever seen; they were so long. She had incredible blue eyes and a good smile. But the question is: who on earth was she?
"I'm Laura Silverman; I live a few houses down."
Well, that certainly answers the question.
"I'm Mac Maccabbi. I'm here visiting my grandma."
"Wow, that must be fun. How long have you been here for?"
"About two weeks, but I haven't been out of the house much...well, I left the house once to go to the dentist with her; it was the highlight of my trip watching them realign her dentures."
That got her to laugh a little bit.
"So do you live here all year long?"
"Yup, I've lived here my whole life."
"That's strange; I've been coming here my whole life and we've never met."
"Well, we've met now."
"We have."
It was quiet for a moment. And then:
"Michael, I'm going to the market. Can I get you anything?"
I can always leave it up to Grandma to break the silence.
"No, Grandma. Get the usual stuff."
Laura was laughing a little bit. I was too.
"So now that we've met, I was thinking maybe we could meet again some time."
"Yeah, that would be great. Actually, there's a bonfire tonight on the beach. Maybe you'd wanna check it out."
"Will you be there?"
That was probably a really stupid thing to ask, being that she just invited me to go with her.
"Yeah, I'll be there."
There comes a time in every young man's life where he must ask himself: repeats of Two and a Half Men with my grandmother, or a chance to spend the evening talking to a beautiful girl on the beach. I think I'll have to choose the latter.
Since I had nothing better to do while I waited for the bonfire to start, I decided I should probably call home.
"Hello, Mom?"
"Michael! How's your trip?"
She seemed much more cheerful than she did the last time I spoke to her. Both my parents were kinda pissed that I took this trip without their permission.
"Everything's going great."
"Have you been getting out of the house?"
"Yeah, I actually met someone today."
"A girl?"
Oh great, now I've opened up a can of worms.
"Yes, Mom, a girl."
"Don't get her pregnant!"
"I won't."
I love talking to my mom. She always has such great wisdom to bestow upon me!
Before I knew it, sunset was happening.
"Hey, Grandma, I'm going to this bonfire tonight down at the beach. Don't wait up."
"Is it with that girl you were talking to earlier?"
"Yes, actually.
"I figured you'd be going out with her tonight, so I bought you these."
My grandmother proceeded to hand me a small purple box that said: LifeStyles: Ultra Lubricated.
Wow, my grandmother bought me condoms. What a wonderful gesture. I really didn't know what to say.
"I really don't know what to say."
"Use it wisely, you only get one shot."
"Uh, thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
It would be an understatement to tell you how weirded out I was.
I headed down to the beach and saw a bunch of people over by the fire. It looked like a lot of fun, especially when I saw Laura stand up and wave to me.
There was music playing, a fire burning, and a beautiful girl approaching me.
"Mac, you came."
"Of course. I wouldn't have missed it."
"I'm glad. Hold on one sec. HEY EVERYONE!"
Everyone that was there looked at Laura.
"This is Mac! He's new around here!"
Suddenly people were cheering. I guess they liked new people.
There sure were a lot of people there. You see, back in Arizona, we don't have beach bonfires...we don't even have a beach. Well, we do, but there's no water.
We all sat around for a while, watching the sun set.
"Do you guys do this sort of thing a lot?"
"Not a whole lot, but we do on occasion. It's nice, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Although, you should see an Arizona sunset. It's kinda cool watching the sun go down behind the mountains; it's like the mountains are eating the sun for dinner."
I know it was a cheesy line, but I was watching a sunset at the beach. How much cheesier can you get?
"So you're from Arizona?"
"Born and raised."
"How do you like it?"
"I used to love it, now I'm not so sure I want to be there much longer."
"Why's that? I hear the weather is great."
"It can be."
I was really enjoying the sunset, but it was sorta hard to have a conversation when there were a bunch of other teenagers running around with the music blaring.
"Do you want to walk around a little bit? I'm getting sorta bored just sitting here."
"I'd love to."
How could I resist?
We began walking, and it began getting darker and darker. We were pretty quiet for the most part, until she finally spoke:
"So why would you want to leave Arizona?"
I was hesitant at first, but she had very trustworthy eyes. I felt it was safe to tell her the truth.
"Just had a really bizarre break-up. Wasn't exactly an ideal situation."
"What happened?"
Once again, I felt like I could tell her the truth.
"We went to prom, we made love, she left me the next day to get back together with her ex-boyfriend."
Laura was silent for a minute, and then she asked something that I really didn't expect:
"Were you in love?"
"I thought we were, but the more I think about it, everything about our relationship was so spontaneous. Maybe our love was spontaneous too."
"I know what you mean. I just got out of a relationship myself."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. He and I were together since 8th grade. I think everyone kinda expected us to be together forever, and it got to the point where we were just putting on a show for everyone."
I couldn't believe how open her and I were being with each other. I'm never this open with anyone!
"So what happened?"
"We broke up on good terms. Now we're just best friends."
We continued to walk. The stars were out at this point; they were quite a sight.
We walked in silence for a little bit, until I finally spoke again:
"There was more to my break-up that I didn't tell you."
"Oh, you don't have to tell me, Mac."
"I know...but I want to."
I paused.
"On Prom Night, my best friend Melinda told me that she has been in love with me for a long time. After Dara broke up with me, I realized I had been in love with Melinda the whole time. However, by the time I finally decided to tell Melinda how I feel, it was too late. I came here to try and forget about all of it."
Laura was speechless for a moment as we kept walking. Suddenly, she gripped my hand.
"Sounds like you have had a lot on your mind."
"Just a little bit."
Suddenly, we were at my grandmother's house.
"I guess this is it."
"I guess so."
"Listen, Laura, I like you a lot. I just don't know if I should be starting something right now."
"Hey, don't worry about it. I had a nice time tonight."
We awkwardly hugged, and she started walking away.
The next morning, I decided to go for a run, and I happened to see her as I stretched.
"We can't keep meeting like this," I said, trying to sound cute.
She laughed a little bit. I really liked her laugh; it was quite addicting.
"Laura, about last night, I--"
She stopped me mid-sentence with a kiss.
"Do you always talk so much?"
I laughed a little bit.
"No, only when I really like someone."
"So I guess this means I'll be seeing a lot of you this summer?"
"You can count on it."
We were silent for a sec, until:
"Michael, I made french toast! Your friend can join us, if you'd like!"
We started laughing.
"Laura, how would you like to try the best french toast on the planet?"
"I would be honored."
On that note, we walked up to the house, hand in hand.
You know, it's funny how things happen sometimes when you don't expect them to. I came to Los Angeles that summer to forget about girls, but after being there for a couple weeks, I had met a new one. She was smart, sweet, and beautiful. The names of Dara Karpen and Melinda Moskowitz didn't even seem to ring a bell anymore.
Now I definitely couldn't wait to see what the summer had in store for me.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
I decided to start my summer off by taking a spur-of-the-moment road trip to my grandmother's Malibu beach house. It's been great so far; the weather is pretty awesome...except for the whole "June Gloom" thing, but I was gonna be here for a while, at least long enough to watch the June gloom pass by.
However, I wasn't spending much time out of the house. I spent most of my days sitting around watching TV, thinking about all the problems back in Arizona that I had left behind. You know, I thought that being away from it all would keep my mind off of it, but sitting around wasn't really doing much good.
After two weeks of sitting on my ass, I figured that the best way to distract myself from my problems was to take a good, old-fashioned run across the beach. I've always loved beach-running; it's great for endurance.
"Grandma, I'm going for a run!"
"Oh, you've decided to be productive I see."
"Yeah, I think a run will be good for me. "
"Yeah, I'll bet. You've been getting so chubby just sitting around!"
I can always leave it to Grandma to make me feel good about myself.
"Yeah, so I guess I'll see you later."
"Okay. Have a nice run."
It was a little windy on this particular day, and just a tad bit cloudy. I started out by doing a few short sprints near the house, just to warm up. I was stretching when everything seemed to brighten up.
"You must be new around here."
She was blonde, tan, and had the greatest pair of legs I'd ever seen; they were so long. She had incredible blue eyes and a good smile. But the question is: who on earth was she?
"I'm Laura Silverman; I live a few houses down."
Well, that certainly answers the question.
"I'm Mac Maccabbi. I'm here visiting my grandma."
"Wow, that must be fun. How long have you been here for?"
"About two weeks, but I haven't been out of the house much...well, I left the house once to go to the dentist with her; it was the highlight of my trip watching them realign her dentures."
That got her to laugh a little bit.
"So do you live here all year long?"
"Yup, I've lived here my whole life."
"That's strange; I've been coming here my whole life and we've never met."
"Well, we've met now."
"We have."
It was quiet for a moment. And then:
"Michael, I'm going to the market. Can I get you anything?"
I can always leave it up to Grandma to break the silence.
"No, Grandma. Get the usual stuff."
Laura was laughing a little bit. I was too.
"So now that we've met, I was thinking maybe we could meet again some time."
"Yeah, that would be great. Actually, there's a bonfire tonight on the beach. Maybe you'd wanna check it out."
"Will you be there?"
That was probably a really stupid thing to ask, being that she just invited me to go with her.
"Yeah, I'll be there."
There comes a time in every young man's life where he must ask himself: repeats of Two and a Half Men with my grandmother, or a chance to spend the evening talking to a beautiful girl on the beach. I think I'll have to choose the latter.
Since I had nothing better to do while I waited for the bonfire to start, I decided I should probably call home.
"Hello, Mom?"
"Michael! How's your trip?"
She seemed much more cheerful than she did the last time I spoke to her. Both my parents were kinda pissed that I took this trip without their permission.
"Everything's going great."
"Have you been getting out of the house?"
"Yeah, I actually met someone today."
"A girl?"
Oh great, now I've opened up a can of worms.
"Yes, Mom, a girl."
"Don't get her pregnant!"
"I won't."
I love talking to my mom. She always has such great wisdom to bestow upon me!
Before I knew it, sunset was happening.
"Hey, Grandma, I'm going to this bonfire tonight down at the beach. Don't wait up."
"Is it with that girl you were talking to earlier?"
"Yes, actually.
"I figured you'd be going out with her tonight, so I bought you these."
My grandmother proceeded to hand me a small purple box that said: LifeStyles: Ultra Lubricated.
Wow, my grandmother bought me condoms. What a wonderful gesture. I really didn't know what to say.
"I really don't know what to say."
"Use it wisely, you only get one shot."
"Uh, thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
It would be an understatement to tell you how weirded out I was.
I headed down to the beach and saw a bunch of people over by the fire. It looked like a lot of fun, especially when I saw Laura stand up and wave to me.
There was music playing, a fire burning, and a beautiful girl approaching me.
"Mac, you came."
"Of course. I wouldn't have missed it."
"I'm glad. Hold on one sec. HEY EVERYONE!"
Everyone that was there looked at Laura.
"This is Mac! He's new around here!"
Suddenly people were cheering. I guess they liked new people.
There sure were a lot of people there. You see, back in Arizona, we don't have beach bonfires...we don't even have a beach. Well, we do, but there's no water.
We all sat around for a while, watching the sun set.
"Do you guys do this sort of thing a lot?"
"Not a whole lot, but we do on occasion. It's nice, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Although, you should see an Arizona sunset. It's kinda cool watching the sun go down behind the mountains; it's like the mountains are eating the sun for dinner."
I know it was a cheesy line, but I was watching a sunset at the beach. How much cheesier can you get?
"So you're from Arizona?"
"Born and raised."
"How do you like it?"
"I used to love it, now I'm not so sure I want to be there much longer."
"Why's that? I hear the weather is great."
"It can be."
I was really enjoying the sunset, but it was sorta hard to have a conversation when there were a bunch of other teenagers running around with the music blaring.
"Do you want to walk around a little bit? I'm getting sorta bored just sitting here."
"I'd love to."
How could I resist?
We began walking, and it began getting darker and darker. We were pretty quiet for the most part, until she finally spoke:
"So why would you want to leave Arizona?"
I was hesitant at first, but she had very trustworthy eyes. I felt it was safe to tell her the truth.
"Just had a really bizarre break-up. Wasn't exactly an ideal situation."
"What happened?"
Once again, I felt like I could tell her the truth.
"We went to prom, we made love, she left me the next day to get back together with her ex-boyfriend."
Laura was silent for a minute, and then she asked something that I really didn't expect:
"Were you in love?"
"I thought we were, but the more I think about it, everything about our relationship was so spontaneous. Maybe our love was spontaneous too."
"I know what you mean. I just got out of a relationship myself."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. He and I were together since 8th grade. I think everyone kinda expected us to be together forever, and it got to the point where we were just putting on a show for everyone."
I couldn't believe how open her and I were being with each other. I'm never this open with anyone!
"So what happened?"
"We broke up on good terms. Now we're just best friends."
We continued to walk. The stars were out at this point; they were quite a sight.
We walked in silence for a little bit, until I finally spoke again:
"There was more to my break-up that I didn't tell you."
"Oh, you don't have to tell me, Mac."
"I know...but I want to."
I paused.
"On Prom Night, my best friend Melinda told me that she has been in love with me for a long time. After Dara broke up with me, I realized I had been in love with Melinda the whole time. However, by the time I finally decided to tell Melinda how I feel, it was too late. I came here to try and forget about all of it."
Laura was speechless for a moment as we kept walking. Suddenly, she gripped my hand.
"Sounds like you have had a lot on your mind."
"Just a little bit."
Suddenly, we were at my grandmother's house.
"I guess this is it."
"I guess so."
"Listen, Laura, I like you a lot. I just don't know if I should be starting something right now."
"Hey, don't worry about it. I had a nice time tonight."
We awkwardly hugged, and she started walking away.
The next morning, I decided to go for a run, and I happened to see her as I stretched.
"We can't keep meeting like this," I said, trying to sound cute.
She laughed a little bit. I really liked her laugh; it was quite addicting.
"Laura, about last night, I--"
She stopped me mid-sentence with a kiss.
"Do you always talk so much?"
I laughed a little bit.
"No, only when I really like someone."
"So I guess this means I'll be seeing a lot of you this summer?"
"You can count on it."
We were silent for a sec, until:
"Michael, I made french toast! Your friend can join us, if you'd like!"
We started laughing.
"Laura, how would you like to try the best french toast on the planet?"
"I would be honored."
On that note, we walked up to the house, hand in hand.
You know, it's funny how things happen sometimes when you don't expect them to. I came to Los Angeles that summer to forget about girls, but after being there for a couple weeks, I had met a new one. She was smart, sweet, and beautiful. The names of Dara Karpen and Melinda Moskowitz didn't even seem to ring a bell anymore.
Now I definitely couldn't wait to see what the summer had in store for me.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Taking a Trip in the Life of the Mac-Attack
I've heard a lot of stories about doing something "on a whim". Some people go to Vegas and get married, some people buy TVs that cost $8000, etc.
Well, it had never occured to me that I would have one of these "whims". It's hard to remember exactly what happened. All I know is that I got back from Convention and decided not to go home from the airport. Instead, I decided to head in the direction of Los Angeles, CA.
The drive to Los Angeles took about six and a half hours; I was able to make pretty good time since there wasn't much traffic, being that it was late at night. I actually arrived in Los Angeles city limits by 4 AM. I think I drove around for about an hour trying to figure out where exactly I would go.
I had a lot of thoughts going through my head as I drove to California that night. For one, I was thinking about everything that went down in the past week: my girlfriend dumping me, realizing that I was in love with my best friend; you know, all the usual stuff.
It was 5 AM on Monday and I figured I should probably find somewhere to crash. Afterall, I hadn't slept since Saturday night. I wondered whose house I could've gone to.
I have a ton of USY friends that live in Los Angeles, but I had just seen them. I couldn't very well knock on their doors and say: "Hey, I didn't get enough of you at Convention. Can I stay here for a long time?"
Then I remembered one very important person that lives in Los Angeles. My Grandma lives here. In fact, she lives on the beach in Malibu! Not a bad place to live, and certainly not a bad place to have a vacation. She had even given me a key during my last visit, telling me that her home was my home. The truth is, I've always seen it that way. I even have my own room at her place...well, it's techincally a guest room, but I am a very frequent guest!
I arrived at her place around 5:30 AM and I was starving. As soon as I got there, I was raiding her fridge, eating all the roast beef and turkey that I could stuff in my mouth. Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate.
602 555 6899
Oh great. My father is calling me.
"Hello?"
"MICHAEL ISAAC MACCABBI, YOU EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANCE!"
"Oh, yeah, I know I said I cleaned my room before I left for Convention, but I lied. I'm sorry."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! DARRIN SAID THAT YOU'D CALL IN THE MORNING! WELL IT'S THE MORNING AND I DIDN'T GET A CALL!!!"
"Looks like you're ten steps ahead of me."
When I've been up driving all night, and I haven't slept in a while, I can be a bit of a smart-ass.
"WHERE IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU, MICHAEL?"
"Zimbabwe."
See what I mean? I usually find it amusing, but my father doesn't see it that way.
"WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME? ARE YOU IN PRISON RIGHT NOW? DID YOU GET SOME GIRL PREGNANT? WHO IS SHE? DOES SHE HAVE AN STD?"
I figured I should probably inform my old man of my whereabouts.
"When we got to the airport, I didn't really feel like going home. I'm at Grandma's house."
"YOU DROVE ALL THE WAY TO CALIFORNIA????"
"Listen, Dad, I think it will be a good opportunity to clear my head. I've saved up some money from working for you. I'm requesting some vacation time. Will you please calm down?"
"Why didn't you come home first?"
"I'm going to sleep now, Dad. I'll let you know when I'm coming home."
On that note, I hung up. I think he'll understand. Afterall, he should understand the need for a vacation. You see, before he was a rabbi, he was working 24/7 as a healthcare consultant. While he was great at his job, he didn't have much free time, and it caused a lot of stress which is what led him to land in a coma and then become a rabbi in the first place!
Before I knew it, I was in the guest bedroom, practically passed out on the bed. I don't even imagine that I was dreaming because I don't remember any dreams. I just remember falling asleep at 6 AM and then waking up at 3:00 PM.
I got out of bed and walked down the stairs into the living room. I noticed that my grandmother was sitting outside, looking at the ocean. She's a sweet old lady, much shorter than I with white hair and the kindest eyes you'll ever see in your life.
"Hi, Grandma," I said as I walked outside.
"Hi, Michael...MICHAEL???"
My grandmother jumped up and looked at me with disbelief.
"Michael, what are you doing here? When did you get here? Did you use my key?"
She sure did ask a lot of questions.
"I'm out of school now, Grandma. I wanted to see you, so here I am. I got here around 5 this morning, and yes, I used my key."
Okay, so she wasn't exactly my reason for wanting to be in California, but I couldn't very well tell her about everything that had happened to me in the last week. It was far too complicated for her aging mind to process.
"Do your parents know? You should've called, I would've made plans!"
Something you may need to know about my grandmother is that she always makes a big production out of everything. I mean, I love her dearly, but she can get a little neurotic sometimes.
"I wanted to surprise you, Grandma. I was thinking I could stay here for a while."
"Absolutely. There's nothing that would make me happier!"
The good thing about my grandmother is that she doesn't ask a whole crap-load of questions about my personal life and all that. I tell her what I feel is worth telling, and she respects that. You see, I have always had a special bond with her, dating back to the days when my grandfather was alive. He was such a great guy, so I guess behind every great guy, there's a great gal who takes care of him.
I looked at the waves that were crashing into the sand of Malibu beach and I began to think of the waves that had been crashing on my life recently. My recent break-up, my confusion, practically pushing the girl I loved into the arms of someone else, and realizing how stupid I had been for so many years.
I thought again about how people do things "on a whim" sometimes. I knew that this whole trip was decided on a whim, but I also realized how much I really needed this vacation.
Sometimes people do things that don't always make sense at the time. Going to California didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to me until I was standing outside my grandmother's beach house, looking at the beach and listening to the tide roll in.
I had told my grandma that I would hope to stay there for a while. As I stood there, it occured to me that a while could be a long time. Maybe that was just what I needed.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Well, it had never occured to me that I would have one of these "whims". It's hard to remember exactly what happened. All I know is that I got back from Convention and decided not to go home from the airport. Instead, I decided to head in the direction of Los Angeles, CA.
The drive to Los Angeles took about six and a half hours; I was able to make pretty good time since there wasn't much traffic, being that it was late at night. I actually arrived in Los Angeles city limits by 4 AM. I think I drove around for about an hour trying to figure out where exactly I would go.
I had a lot of thoughts going through my head as I drove to California that night. For one, I was thinking about everything that went down in the past week: my girlfriend dumping me, realizing that I was in love with my best friend; you know, all the usual stuff.
It was 5 AM on Monday and I figured I should probably find somewhere to crash. Afterall, I hadn't slept since Saturday night. I wondered whose house I could've gone to.
I have a ton of USY friends that live in Los Angeles, but I had just seen them. I couldn't very well knock on their doors and say: "Hey, I didn't get enough of you at Convention. Can I stay here for a long time?"
Then I remembered one very important person that lives in Los Angeles. My Grandma lives here. In fact, she lives on the beach in Malibu! Not a bad place to live, and certainly not a bad place to have a vacation. She had even given me a key during my last visit, telling me that her home was my home. The truth is, I've always seen it that way. I even have my own room at her place...well, it's techincally a guest room, but I am a very frequent guest!
I arrived at her place around 5:30 AM and I was starving. As soon as I got there, I was raiding her fridge, eating all the roast beef and turkey that I could stuff in my mouth. Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate.
602 555 6899
Oh great. My father is calling me.
"Hello?"
"MICHAEL ISAAC MACCABBI, YOU EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANCE!"
"Oh, yeah, I know I said I cleaned my room before I left for Convention, but I lied. I'm sorry."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! DARRIN SAID THAT YOU'D CALL IN THE MORNING! WELL IT'S THE MORNING AND I DIDN'T GET A CALL!!!"
"Looks like you're ten steps ahead of me."
When I've been up driving all night, and I haven't slept in a while, I can be a bit of a smart-ass.
"WHERE IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU, MICHAEL?"
"Zimbabwe."
See what I mean? I usually find it amusing, but my father doesn't see it that way.
"WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME? ARE YOU IN PRISON RIGHT NOW? DID YOU GET SOME GIRL PREGNANT? WHO IS SHE? DOES SHE HAVE AN STD?"
I figured I should probably inform my old man of my whereabouts.
"When we got to the airport, I didn't really feel like going home. I'm at Grandma's house."
"YOU DROVE ALL THE WAY TO CALIFORNIA????"
"Listen, Dad, I think it will be a good opportunity to clear my head. I've saved up some money from working for you. I'm requesting some vacation time. Will you please calm down?"
"Why didn't you come home first?"
"I'm going to sleep now, Dad. I'll let you know when I'm coming home."
On that note, I hung up. I think he'll understand. Afterall, he should understand the need for a vacation. You see, before he was a rabbi, he was working 24/7 as a healthcare consultant. While he was great at his job, he didn't have much free time, and it caused a lot of stress which is what led him to land in a coma and then become a rabbi in the first place!
Before I knew it, I was in the guest bedroom, practically passed out on the bed. I don't even imagine that I was dreaming because I don't remember any dreams. I just remember falling asleep at 6 AM and then waking up at 3:00 PM.
I got out of bed and walked down the stairs into the living room. I noticed that my grandmother was sitting outside, looking at the ocean. She's a sweet old lady, much shorter than I with white hair and the kindest eyes you'll ever see in your life.
"Hi, Grandma," I said as I walked outside.
"Hi, Michael...MICHAEL???"
My grandmother jumped up and looked at me with disbelief.
"Michael, what are you doing here? When did you get here? Did you use my key?"
She sure did ask a lot of questions.
"I'm out of school now, Grandma. I wanted to see you, so here I am. I got here around 5 this morning, and yes, I used my key."
Okay, so she wasn't exactly my reason for wanting to be in California, but I couldn't very well tell her about everything that had happened to me in the last week. It was far too complicated for her aging mind to process.
"Do your parents know? You should've called, I would've made plans!"
Something you may need to know about my grandmother is that she always makes a big production out of everything. I mean, I love her dearly, but she can get a little neurotic sometimes.
"I wanted to surprise you, Grandma. I was thinking I could stay here for a while."
"Absolutely. There's nothing that would make me happier!"
The good thing about my grandmother is that she doesn't ask a whole crap-load of questions about my personal life and all that. I tell her what I feel is worth telling, and she respects that. You see, I have always had a special bond with her, dating back to the days when my grandfather was alive. He was such a great guy, so I guess behind every great guy, there's a great gal who takes care of him.
I looked at the waves that were crashing into the sand of Malibu beach and I began to think of the waves that had been crashing on my life recently. My recent break-up, my confusion, practically pushing the girl I loved into the arms of someone else, and realizing how stupid I had been for so many years.
I thought again about how people do things "on a whim" sometimes. I knew that this whole trip was decided on a whim, but I also realized how much I really needed this vacation.
Sometimes people do things that don't always make sense at the time. Going to California didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to me until I was standing outside my grandmother's beach house, looking at the beach and listening to the tide roll in.
I had told my grandma that I would hope to stay there for a while. As I stood there, it occured to me that a while could be a long time. Maybe that was just what I needed.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Back to Square One in the Life of the Mac-Attack
Every year, West Coast USY holds their annual Regional Convention in California. Convention is by far the best event of the year. We stay in a nice hotel, we get to see our friends, and there's a dance that's even better than prom!
After the week I'd just had, I was looking forward to a relaxing, drama-free USY weekend...as if that was possible!
Here's a little poetry to recap my past week:
Dara dumped me
What a hoe
I kissed Melinda
That's fo sho
She tried to seduce me
But I said no
Now I've never
Felt so low
There's nothing that can capture the human soul like poetry.
Anyways, nothing in my life had ever been this complicated. I still couldn't understand why it was that I didn't sleep with Melinda. I'd fooled around with girls I barely knew before, but when someone I've known my whole life proposed sex, I left. Maybe I was scared, maybe I was confused, and maybe my heart wasn't in it. But if my heart wasn't it it, how could I have gone to her house and kissed her?
As I got to Sky Harbor Airport, there was a lot on my mind.
"Hey, Mac," my best friend Ben said as I entered the airport.
"What's up, Mac," said Aaron Youngston, another friend of mine from USY.
"I have a lot on my mind," I told my friends, repeating what I had typed before the dialogue sequence began.
"I didn't see you yesterday. What ended up happening with you and Melinda?"
"You and Melinda? What about Dara?"
"She dumped him."
"So now you're into Melinda?"
"That's what I was about to find out."
"GUYS!"
My two friends looked at me and shut up.
"Nothing ended up happening."
Just then, Melinda and her mom Merril, who was also our youth director, arrived at the airport.
"Michael, Aaron, Benjamin."
I felt really awkward now. The girl who I may or may not have loved along with her mother, who was the best friend of MY mother, were standing right in front of me.
"Hi, Melinda," I said, hoping that maybe she had forgotten that I epicly rejected her two days before.
"Hi, Aaron. Hi, Ben."
Yeah, she hadn't forgotten.
Just then, my twin brother Darrin arrived at the airport. He isn't as involved in USY as I am, but he likes to go to Convention.
"Hey, guys."
"Darrin! The only Maccabbi brother worth my time!"
Now I definitely knew that she hadn't forgotten. Note to self: when a girl wants to have sex with you, don't reject her. It can only lead to bad things.
I remember the last time I rejected sex. It was with Carrie Wilcox, nearly a year ago. That led to a lot of awkwardness, but it also led to my introduction to Rivka Pasternak. However, just a couple months back, Carrie tried to ruin my reputation with a rumor about this really ugly band geek. That was a scary day.
Once we got to the gate, we met up with the USY Chapter from Congregation Am Yisrael of Tempe.
"Mac-Attack!"
I knew that voice very well. It was that of Brian Berg, known to us as B.
The flight to San Diego, the location of Convention, was physically very short. However, it seemed much longer than it was. Only fate would have it that I was sitting next to Melinda.
"Only fate would have it that I'm sitting next to you, Michael," she said, obviously iritated about the seating arrangements.
"Melinda, can we please talk?"
"Talk about how you messed with my mind by kissing me on Sunday, or how you played with my heart by rejecting me on Tuesday?"
Ouch. I shoulda seen that coming.
"Melinda, I...uh, I...I just..."
"Will you just say it? You don't want me. You've never wanted me. I get it, so can we please just move on with our lives?"
I was stunned. I wanted to tell her how wrong she was, because she was very wrong. I do want her, and the more I think about it, I've always wanted her. That's the complete opposite of what she was saying. In fact, I was about to say this entire blurb to her when...
"We are now making our final descent into San Diego. Thank you for flying with us."
Damn it. Why couldn't Convention be in Guam? We would've had a lot more time to discuss the matter at hand!
I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk to Melinda until we could get a moment alone.
"MAC-ATTACK!"
I heard the voice of my good friend Gahl Sinai. Close behind him were Max Altman and Tara Hudson. I hadn't seen Tara since Disneyland, but I had heard she was running for Regional USY President.
"Tara, I heard you were running for Regional USY President."
"Yeah, I'm so nervous."
"You've got my vote."
"Mine too!"
Right behind me, I saw Tara's boyfriend, Jake Josephson.
In reuniting with so many of my regional friends, I suddenly saw Melinda walking away, at a distance.
"So I guess Dara couldn't come?"
I continued looking off into the distance, watching Melinda walk until she was out of sight.
"Mac?"
I finally snapped out of it.
"Oh, sorry. What?"
"Where's Dara?"
"Dara broke up with me last weekend, Gahl."
"That sucks, man, we know you were really into her."
"Not into her enough, I suppose."
"Well, I guess it's okay. Rivka is here this weekend."
"Yeah. Rivka."
I obviously didn't seem like myself.
"Mac, you don't seem like yourself."
I wasn't myself. I was completely lost right now. I needed to talk to Melinda.
"Sorry, guys. Just a lot on my mind."
"Break-ups do that. Luckily Tara and I are together forever!"
Tara and Jake then decided it would be a nice idea to start making out in front of all of us.
"If you guys will just excuse me."
I doubt Tara and Jake noticed that I left.
"Mac!"
"Ben, I don't know what's happening."
"Oh no! Did you get amnesia again???"
"No...wait, what?"
"What?"
Just then, I realized that it was time to go to our rooms and change for Shabbat. My roommates were Ben, Gahl, and Max. Next door to us were B, Jake, and Aaron. It appeared that I was in good company, especially when Jake and B came to our room as soon as they were dressed to hear about my predicament. Strangely, Aaron was nowhere to be found.
"So, you went to Melinda's right after Dara dumped you?"
"Yeah, I..."
"But then you didn't sleep with Melinda when she offered it?"
"No, but..."
"Sounds like a bit of a waste if you ask me..."
"I don't..."
They all continued to talk amongst themselves when finally:
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!"
I definitely overreacted.
"Wow, you definitely overreacted."
"Sorry. My mind is just all over the place right now."
"Wanna know what I think?"
"Well, I've heard what everyone ELSE has to say."
"I think that we should head downstairs for Shabbat. After services, I guarantee you'll feel way better about all of this."
"You sound like my father."
We all kinda laughed a little bit.
"Come on guys, let's head downstairs for services."
And so, I went downstairs with my friends and we brought in Shabbat the USY way. Just like Gahl said, I forgot about all my problems and felt way better about it all. Thank you, Shabbat.
YEAH RIGHT.
Shabbat was good, but I still had everything on my mind. Seriously, what was Gahl thinking? Shabbat doesn't cure the world's problems! If it did, the children in Africa would be celebrating Shabbat every day!*
*I apologize to any African children reading my blog. That was definitely uncalled for.
After Shabbat, it was time for some Israeli dancing. That was kinda fun...except for the fact that the one person I wanted to Israeli dance with wasn't anywhere in sight. I really needed to talk to Melinda, but it was kinda hard to talk to her when I didn't know where she was. I did, however, see an old friend who I hadn't seen in a while.
"Mac!"
"Rivka, hi!"
We hugged and I definitely didn't want to let go. It was really good to see her.
"Where's your girlfriend?"
"Not here. Not my girlfriend anymore."
"Oh, in that case, let me give you a proper greeting."
She leaned in to kiss me, but I had to turn away.
"As nice as that would be, Rivka, I can't this weekend."
"Why not? New girlfriend already?"
"Not quite. If only I knew where she was."
"Could she be standing in front of you?"
"She's been standing in front of me for a long time. I've just been too blind to see it."
I turned around and started walking away.
"Does this mean we're not going to hook up this weekend?" she asked as I walked away.
I looked back.
"I'm afraid not, Rivka. Not this weekend."
"Alright, I understand. However, if you see me later, the offer is on the table."
She sorta winked. I know in my heart that Rivka will always be a sure thing. If the circumstances were different, I'd be a sure thing for her as well. However, there was only one girl I was after. The girl who I've known my whole life, the one who has always been there for me, the one who I have said this same exact monologue about 100 times since my last entry.
After Israeli dancing, we headed up to our rooms. I felt very unsatisfied, for I thought that maybe the magic of Shabbat could bring Melinda and I together, like it had for me and Rivka a few months ago.
"Hey, did anyone see Aaron?"
"Wow, come to think of it, I haven't seen Aaron since we got to the room to change for Shabbat."
"That's bizarre."
I wondered where Aaron could be, but my mind was on other things, like figuring out what I was going to tell Melinda the next day. I had to talk to her and tell her how I felt. I still didn't know what it was that I felt, but damnit I felt something. I was gonna find out what it was.
The beds at the hotel were really comfortable. Unfortunately, there were only two beds, so I had to share a bed with Ben. It was somewhat awkward, especially when I woke up in the morning to see Ben's head on my shoulder!
"Uh, Ben?"
"Good morning, Megan," he said, obviously still asleep.
"BEN!"
That woke him up.
"AHHH! You're not Megan Fox!"
"Oh, really? What gave it away???"
Max, Gahl and I started laughing.
We all headed down for Saturday morning services about an hour later. I immediately saw Melinda. She looked very classy.
"You look really classy, Melinda."
In the history of bad conversation starters, that has gotta be the worst!
"That has gotta be the worst conversation starter in the history of bad conversation starters."
"Yes, I just realized that."
We kinda laughed a little bit.
"Did you have fun last night?"
"Oh, Israeli dancing is always fun."
"I saw you with Rivka."
She gave me a look of disappointment. I was about to tell her what I had told Rivka and use it as a prelude to my feelings for Melinda, but all of a sudden we heard the words of the Preliminary Service.
The rabbi's sermon today talked all about confusion, doubt, and faith. I was confused about my feelings for Melinda, I was doubting that I would get an opportunity to talk to her about it, but I was trying to have faith that I would. Obviously, the rabbi was relating all of it to God, but I felt that the sermon probably related to all of us somehow.
The day's activities went by fast. We were put into groups, however, Melinda was not in my group. Once again, I didn't get the opportunity to talk to her.
Saturday night came really quickly, and I didn't even see her after Havdallah.
"Shavua Tov, Mac-Attack!"
"Shavua Tov, Tara."
"I'm so nervous about tonight. The election results are going to be announced at the dance."
"Oh yeah, the dance is tonight."
"Yeah, it usually is. Mac, are you okay?"
"Not really, Tara."
"Is it about your break-up?"
"Kinda. Question for you: have you ever felt like you were completely content in your love life, but then you realize the one you've really always wanted was right in front of your eyes?"
"Shavua Tov, baby!!!"
I had forgotten that Tara was already content with her whole love life.
"Well, I can't imagine wanting anyone else that might be in front of my eyes. I have the most perfect guy in the world!"
Once again, they started making out.
"Well, uh, thanks for the advice."
I don't imagine that they heard me.
The dance began with some old West Coast USY favorites, such as Every Time we Touch by Cascada and Low by Flo Rida. I didn't feel much like dancing, so I decided to go outside for a little bit. Gahl and Ben followed me out.
"You know, Mac, not dancing isn't going to make you feel better about Melinda."
"I think you need to talk to her."
"I know I do. God, this is killing me!"
"You know what you have to do."
"I know."
"So what are you waiting for?"
I thought for a minute. Now was as good a time as any. I was gonna go find Melinda and tell her exactly how I felt: I was going to tell her that I was in love with her, that I've always been in love with her, but I hadn't ever realized it until recently.
I was about to go find her...until--
"GUYS!"
Max was out of breath and sweating. He looked like he had just ran a marathon.
"What's up, Max?"
"I realized where Aaron has been sneaking off to all weekend!"
Not that I wasn't interested in gossiping about one of my friends and what he had been doing, I had something important I needed to say to someone important.
"I have to go find Melinda. I'll see you guys later."
I ran off. I vaguely remember hearing Max say: "Mac-Attack, wait!", but I didn't feel like wasting more time. I hadn't seen Melinda on the dance floor; I wondered if she was in her room.
I took the elevator up to the third floor, where the girls' rooms were. I walked to room 305, where Melinda would be. I immediately began pacing in the hallway, trying to prepare what I was about to say to her. I needed to have what I was going to say in the back of my mind so I would be prepared to say whatever it was that I was going to say.
However, nothing prepared me for what I saw as the door opened. I had imagined Melinda answering the door, being caught off guard, and me telling her all about my love for her. I imagined her jumping into my arms afterward and her kissing me. I imagined the two of us coming downstairs back to the dance, everyone happy to see the two of us together.
When the door opened, it wasn't anything like I had imagined, for the one who opened the door was not Melinda.
"Oh. Uh, I, Mac-Attack."
Of all the people that could've answered the door, it was Aaron Youngston. Not only was it Aaron Youngston, it was a PANTLESS version of Aaron Youngston. I also saw Melinda out of the corner of my eye...in the bed.
"Oh, sorry. I guess I'm interrupting something."
Melinda got up from the bed.
"It's not what it looks like!"
"Really? What it looks like is that I came up here to tell you how I feel about you, but it looks like you don't share the same feelings anymore."
I started walking away, when Melinda chased me down the hall.
"Why are you doing this, Michael?"
"Aaron Youngston? Really?"
"He was really sweet yesterday afternoon when I told him all about what was happening, and he was sweet again last night after I saw you with Rivka."
"Melinda, what exactly did you see me doing with Rivka?"
"I saw you hug her. I was sure you'd hook up with her...so I thought since you were hooking up with her, I might as well hook up with someone too."
"Well here's some news...I didn't hook up with Rivka, Melinda."
"What?"
"I told her that there's someone else who has always been in front of my eyes. I've just always been too blind to see it."
I started walking away again.
"I practically threw myself at you on Tuesday, Michael!"
"I needed more time, Melinda. The truth is, I've loved you for a long time. I was too busy chasing tail constantly to take some time to realize it. I thought that being with a bunch of different girls would make me happy. Then I got myself into a relationship with someone I really loved...turns out, that didn't make me as happy as I thought it would. I don't know what would've happened between Dara and I if you hadn't told me how you felt. She probably would've left me anyway to go back to that asshole ex-boyfriend of her's. I've been thinking of the fact that there's only one girl who has consistently treated me well. There's only one girl who I've always cared about and who's always cared about me. That girl is you, Melinda. Only it's too late now."
I started walking away again. Suddenly, I saw Max, Ben, and Gahl coming out of the elevator.
"It's not my fault that you waited for too long. I've waited for you to come around for a long time, Michael. I'm done waiting."
I didn't really know what else to say that would argue my case. The truth of the matter is that she was right.
"Fine then."
I walked away, with my friends behind me. I wish I could say that Melinda made the wrong choice, and I wish I could say that I wasn't the one at fault here.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce your 2009-2010 West Coast USY Regional President as...Tara Hudson!"
There was applause throughout the room. I could tell that Jake couldn't wait to congratulate Tara with a huge kiss.
I saw the two of them together, and I suddenly remembered that for a month and a half, I had exactly what they had. Dara and I were always so content with what we had...at least I had thought we were. It had never occured to me that I wasn't as content as I thought I was. I thought again about Melinda and how content I would've been with her.
I also thought about the fact that I really had no one to blame than myself. I was an idiot for so long, always trying to find the right girl. When I thought I'd finally found her, it ended in heartbreak. I should've known that I never needed to find the right girl at all.
On Sunday afternoon, I said goodbye to all my friends and boarded a flight back to Phoenix. I was sitting next to Ben this time, so at least it wouldn't be awkward.
"What are you going to do now, Mac?"
"I'm not really sure."
It was a good question. I had a whole summer now, and I was back to Square One. I was the bachelor that I had always been, not tied down to anyone and not caring about it. As we arrived at the Gate at Sky Harbor Airport, I thought more and more about Ben's question.
We got to the baggage claim. When I took my duffel off the carousel, I thought about the fact that my baggage went beyond my duffel bag. I had even more on my mind than I did before I got to Convention.
Darrin walked up to me when he got his bag.
"I guess I'll see you at home?"
I thought for a minute.
"Actually, Darrin, I'm not really ready to go home yet."
Darrin gave me a weird look.
"Tell Mom and Dad that I'll call in the morning."
On that note, I walked out to the airport parking lot and got in my car. Once on the freeway, I saw a sign pointing me in the direction of Los Angeles. I decided to take that route.
The last time I decided to let the road decide where I would go, I ended up at Melinda's house. This time, I wasn't sure where I was going. All I knew is that I would definitely be on the road for a while this time.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
After the week I'd just had, I was looking forward to a relaxing, drama-free USY weekend...as if that was possible!
Here's a little poetry to recap my past week:
Dara dumped me
What a hoe
I kissed Melinda
That's fo sho
She tried to seduce me
But I said no
Now I've never
Felt so low
There's nothing that can capture the human soul like poetry.
Anyways, nothing in my life had ever been this complicated. I still couldn't understand why it was that I didn't sleep with Melinda. I'd fooled around with girls I barely knew before, but when someone I've known my whole life proposed sex, I left. Maybe I was scared, maybe I was confused, and maybe my heart wasn't in it. But if my heart wasn't it it, how could I have gone to her house and kissed her?
As I got to Sky Harbor Airport, there was a lot on my mind.
"Hey, Mac," my best friend Ben said as I entered the airport.
"What's up, Mac," said Aaron Youngston, another friend of mine from USY.
"I have a lot on my mind," I told my friends, repeating what I had typed before the dialogue sequence began.
"I didn't see you yesterday. What ended up happening with you and Melinda?"
"You and Melinda? What about Dara?"
"She dumped him."
"So now you're into Melinda?"
"That's what I was about to find out."
"GUYS!"
My two friends looked at me and shut up.
"Nothing ended up happening."
Just then, Melinda and her mom Merril, who was also our youth director, arrived at the airport.
"Michael, Aaron, Benjamin."
I felt really awkward now. The girl who I may or may not have loved along with her mother, who was the best friend of MY mother, were standing right in front of me.
"Hi, Melinda," I said, hoping that maybe she had forgotten that I epicly rejected her two days before.
"Hi, Aaron. Hi, Ben."
Yeah, she hadn't forgotten.
Just then, my twin brother Darrin arrived at the airport. He isn't as involved in USY as I am, but he likes to go to Convention.
"Hey, guys."
"Darrin! The only Maccabbi brother worth my time!"
Now I definitely knew that she hadn't forgotten. Note to self: when a girl wants to have sex with you, don't reject her. It can only lead to bad things.
I remember the last time I rejected sex. It was with Carrie Wilcox, nearly a year ago. That led to a lot of awkwardness, but it also led to my introduction to Rivka Pasternak. However, just a couple months back, Carrie tried to ruin my reputation with a rumor about this really ugly band geek. That was a scary day.
Once we got to the gate, we met up with the USY Chapter from Congregation Am Yisrael of Tempe.
"Mac-Attack!"
I knew that voice very well. It was that of Brian Berg, known to us as B.
The flight to San Diego, the location of Convention, was physically very short. However, it seemed much longer than it was. Only fate would have it that I was sitting next to Melinda.
"Only fate would have it that I'm sitting next to you, Michael," she said, obviously iritated about the seating arrangements.
"Melinda, can we please talk?"
"Talk about how you messed with my mind by kissing me on Sunday, or how you played with my heart by rejecting me on Tuesday?"
Ouch. I shoulda seen that coming.
"Melinda, I...uh, I...I just..."
"Will you just say it? You don't want me. You've never wanted me. I get it, so can we please just move on with our lives?"
I was stunned. I wanted to tell her how wrong she was, because she was very wrong. I do want her, and the more I think about it, I've always wanted her. That's the complete opposite of what she was saying. In fact, I was about to say this entire blurb to her when...
"We are now making our final descent into San Diego. Thank you for flying with us."
Damn it. Why couldn't Convention be in Guam? We would've had a lot more time to discuss the matter at hand!
I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk to Melinda until we could get a moment alone.
"MAC-ATTACK!"
I heard the voice of my good friend Gahl Sinai. Close behind him were Max Altman and Tara Hudson. I hadn't seen Tara since Disneyland, but I had heard she was running for Regional USY President.
"Tara, I heard you were running for Regional USY President."
"Yeah, I'm so nervous."
"You've got my vote."
"Mine too!"
Right behind me, I saw Tara's boyfriend, Jake Josephson.
In reuniting with so many of my regional friends, I suddenly saw Melinda walking away, at a distance.
"So I guess Dara couldn't come?"
I continued looking off into the distance, watching Melinda walk until she was out of sight.
"Mac?"
I finally snapped out of it.
"Oh, sorry. What?"
"Where's Dara?"
"Dara broke up with me last weekend, Gahl."
"That sucks, man, we know you were really into her."
"Not into her enough, I suppose."
"Well, I guess it's okay. Rivka is here this weekend."
"Yeah. Rivka."
I obviously didn't seem like myself.
"Mac, you don't seem like yourself."
I wasn't myself. I was completely lost right now. I needed to talk to Melinda.
"Sorry, guys. Just a lot on my mind."
"Break-ups do that. Luckily Tara and I are together forever!"
Tara and Jake then decided it would be a nice idea to start making out in front of all of us.
"If you guys will just excuse me."
I doubt Tara and Jake noticed that I left.
"Mac!"
"Ben, I don't know what's happening."
"Oh no! Did you get amnesia again???"
"No...wait, what?"
"What?"
Just then, I realized that it was time to go to our rooms and change for Shabbat. My roommates were Ben, Gahl, and Max. Next door to us were B, Jake, and Aaron. It appeared that I was in good company, especially when Jake and B came to our room as soon as they were dressed to hear about my predicament. Strangely, Aaron was nowhere to be found.
"So, you went to Melinda's right after Dara dumped you?"
"Yeah, I..."
"But then you didn't sleep with Melinda when she offered it?"
"No, but..."
"Sounds like a bit of a waste if you ask me..."
"I don't..."
They all continued to talk amongst themselves when finally:
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!"
I definitely overreacted.
"Wow, you definitely overreacted."
"Sorry. My mind is just all over the place right now."
"Wanna know what I think?"
"Well, I've heard what everyone ELSE has to say."
"I think that we should head downstairs for Shabbat. After services, I guarantee you'll feel way better about all of this."
"You sound like my father."
We all kinda laughed a little bit.
"Come on guys, let's head downstairs for services."
And so, I went downstairs with my friends and we brought in Shabbat the USY way. Just like Gahl said, I forgot about all my problems and felt way better about it all. Thank you, Shabbat.
YEAH RIGHT.
Shabbat was good, but I still had everything on my mind. Seriously, what was Gahl thinking? Shabbat doesn't cure the world's problems! If it did, the children in Africa would be celebrating Shabbat every day!*
*I apologize to any African children reading my blog. That was definitely uncalled for.
After Shabbat, it was time for some Israeli dancing. That was kinda fun...except for the fact that the one person I wanted to Israeli dance with wasn't anywhere in sight. I really needed to talk to Melinda, but it was kinda hard to talk to her when I didn't know where she was. I did, however, see an old friend who I hadn't seen in a while.
"Mac!"
"Rivka, hi!"
We hugged and I definitely didn't want to let go. It was really good to see her.
"Where's your girlfriend?"
"Not here. Not my girlfriend anymore."
"Oh, in that case, let me give you a proper greeting."
She leaned in to kiss me, but I had to turn away.
"As nice as that would be, Rivka, I can't this weekend."
"Why not? New girlfriend already?"
"Not quite. If only I knew where she was."
"Could she be standing in front of you?"
"She's been standing in front of me for a long time. I've just been too blind to see it."
I turned around and started walking away.
"Does this mean we're not going to hook up this weekend?" she asked as I walked away.
I looked back.
"I'm afraid not, Rivka. Not this weekend."
"Alright, I understand. However, if you see me later, the offer is on the table."
She sorta winked. I know in my heart that Rivka will always be a sure thing. If the circumstances were different, I'd be a sure thing for her as well. However, there was only one girl I was after. The girl who I've known my whole life, the one who has always been there for me, the one who I have said this same exact monologue about 100 times since my last entry.
After Israeli dancing, we headed up to our rooms. I felt very unsatisfied, for I thought that maybe the magic of Shabbat could bring Melinda and I together, like it had for me and Rivka a few months ago.
"Hey, did anyone see Aaron?"
"Wow, come to think of it, I haven't seen Aaron since we got to the room to change for Shabbat."
"That's bizarre."
I wondered where Aaron could be, but my mind was on other things, like figuring out what I was going to tell Melinda the next day. I had to talk to her and tell her how I felt. I still didn't know what it was that I felt, but damnit I felt something. I was gonna find out what it was.
The beds at the hotel were really comfortable. Unfortunately, there were only two beds, so I had to share a bed with Ben. It was somewhat awkward, especially when I woke up in the morning to see Ben's head on my shoulder!
"Uh, Ben?"
"Good morning, Megan," he said, obviously still asleep.
"BEN!"
That woke him up.
"AHHH! You're not Megan Fox!"
"Oh, really? What gave it away???"
Max, Gahl and I started laughing.
We all headed down for Saturday morning services about an hour later. I immediately saw Melinda. She looked very classy.
"You look really classy, Melinda."
In the history of bad conversation starters, that has gotta be the worst!
"That has gotta be the worst conversation starter in the history of bad conversation starters."
"Yes, I just realized that."
We kinda laughed a little bit.
"Did you have fun last night?"
"Oh, Israeli dancing is always fun."
"I saw you with Rivka."
She gave me a look of disappointment. I was about to tell her what I had told Rivka and use it as a prelude to my feelings for Melinda, but all of a sudden we heard the words of the Preliminary Service.
The rabbi's sermon today talked all about confusion, doubt, and faith. I was confused about my feelings for Melinda, I was doubting that I would get an opportunity to talk to her about it, but I was trying to have faith that I would. Obviously, the rabbi was relating all of it to God, but I felt that the sermon probably related to all of us somehow.
The day's activities went by fast. We were put into groups, however, Melinda was not in my group. Once again, I didn't get the opportunity to talk to her.
Saturday night came really quickly, and I didn't even see her after Havdallah.
"Shavua Tov, Mac-Attack!"
"Shavua Tov, Tara."
"I'm so nervous about tonight. The election results are going to be announced at the dance."
"Oh yeah, the dance is tonight."
"Yeah, it usually is. Mac, are you okay?"
"Not really, Tara."
"Is it about your break-up?"
"Kinda. Question for you: have you ever felt like you were completely content in your love life, but then you realize the one you've really always wanted was right in front of your eyes?"
"Shavua Tov, baby!!!"
I had forgotten that Tara was already content with her whole love life.
"Well, I can't imagine wanting anyone else that might be in front of my eyes. I have the most perfect guy in the world!"
Once again, they started making out.
"Well, uh, thanks for the advice."
I don't imagine that they heard me.
The dance began with some old West Coast USY favorites, such as Every Time we Touch by Cascada and Low by Flo Rida. I didn't feel much like dancing, so I decided to go outside for a little bit. Gahl and Ben followed me out.
"You know, Mac, not dancing isn't going to make you feel better about Melinda."
"I think you need to talk to her."
"I know I do. God, this is killing me!"
"You know what you have to do."
"I know."
"So what are you waiting for?"
I thought for a minute. Now was as good a time as any. I was gonna go find Melinda and tell her exactly how I felt: I was going to tell her that I was in love with her, that I've always been in love with her, but I hadn't ever realized it until recently.
I was about to go find her...until--
"GUYS!"
Max was out of breath and sweating. He looked like he had just ran a marathon.
"What's up, Max?"
"I realized where Aaron has been sneaking off to all weekend!"
Not that I wasn't interested in gossiping about one of my friends and what he had been doing, I had something important I needed to say to someone important.
"I have to go find Melinda. I'll see you guys later."
I ran off. I vaguely remember hearing Max say: "Mac-Attack, wait!", but I didn't feel like wasting more time. I hadn't seen Melinda on the dance floor; I wondered if she was in her room.
I took the elevator up to the third floor, where the girls' rooms were. I walked to room 305, where Melinda would be. I immediately began pacing in the hallway, trying to prepare what I was about to say to her. I needed to have what I was going to say in the back of my mind so I would be prepared to say whatever it was that I was going to say.
However, nothing prepared me for what I saw as the door opened. I had imagined Melinda answering the door, being caught off guard, and me telling her all about my love for her. I imagined her jumping into my arms afterward and her kissing me. I imagined the two of us coming downstairs back to the dance, everyone happy to see the two of us together.
When the door opened, it wasn't anything like I had imagined, for the one who opened the door was not Melinda.
"Oh. Uh, I, Mac-Attack."
Of all the people that could've answered the door, it was Aaron Youngston. Not only was it Aaron Youngston, it was a PANTLESS version of Aaron Youngston. I also saw Melinda out of the corner of my eye...in the bed.
"Oh, sorry. I guess I'm interrupting something."
Melinda got up from the bed.
"It's not what it looks like!"
"Really? What it looks like is that I came up here to tell you how I feel about you, but it looks like you don't share the same feelings anymore."
I started walking away, when Melinda chased me down the hall.
"Why are you doing this, Michael?"
"Aaron Youngston? Really?"
"He was really sweet yesterday afternoon when I told him all about what was happening, and he was sweet again last night after I saw you with Rivka."
"Melinda, what exactly did you see me doing with Rivka?"
"I saw you hug her. I was sure you'd hook up with her...so I thought since you were hooking up with her, I might as well hook up with someone too."
"Well here's some news...I didn't hook up with Rivka, Melinda."
"What?"
"I told her that there's someone else who has always been in front of my eyes. I've just always been too blind to see it."
I started walking away again.
"I practically threw myself at you on Tuesday, Michael!"
"I needed more time, Melinda. The truth is, I've loved you for a long time. I was too busy chasing tail constantly to take some time to realize it. I thought that being with a bunch of different girls would make me happy. Then I got myself into a relationship with someone I really loved...turns out, that didn't make me as happy as I thought it would. I don't know what would've happened between Dara and I if you hadn't told me how you felt. She probably would've left me anyway to go back to that asshole ex-boyfriend of her's. I've been thinking of the fact that there's only one girl who has consistently treated me well. There's only one girl who I've always cared about and who's always cared about me. That girl is you, Melinda. Only it's too late now."
I started walking away again. Suddenly, I saw Max, Ben, and Gahl coming out of the elevator.
"It's not my fault that you waited for too long. I've waited for you to come around for a long time, Michael. I'm done waiting."
I didn't really know what else to say that would argue my case. The truth of the matter is that she was right.
"Fine then."
I walked away, with my friends behind me. I wish I could say that Melinda made the wrong choice, and I wish I could say that I wasn't the one at fault here.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce your 2009-2010 West Coast USY Regional President as...Tara Hudson!"
There was applause throughout the room. I could tell that Jake couldn't wait to congratulate Tara with a huge kiss.
I saw the two of them together, and I suddenly remembered that for a month and a half, I had exactly what they had. Dara and I were always so content with what we had...at least I had thought we were. It had never occured to me that I wasn't as content as I thought I was. I thought again about Melinda and how content I would've been with her.
I also thought about the fact that I really had no one to blame than myself. I was an idiot for so long, always trying to find the right girl. When I thought I'd finally found her, it ended in heartbreak. I should've known that I never needed to find the right girl at all.
On Sunday afternoon, I said goodbye to all my friends and boarded a flight back to Phoenix. I was sitting next to Ben this time, so at least it wouldn't be awkward.
"What are you going to do now, Mac?"
"I'm not really sure."
It was a good question. I had a whole summer now, and I was back to Square One. I was the bachelor that I had always been, not tied down to anyone and not caring about it. As we arrived at the Gate at Sky Harbor Airport, I thought more and more about Ben's question.
We got to the baggage claim. When I took my duffel off the carousel, I thought about the fact that my baggage went beyond my duffel bag. I had even more on my mind than I did before I got to Convention.
Darrin walked up to me when he got his bag.
"I guess I'll see you at home?"
I thought for a minute.
"Actually, Darrin, I'm not really ready to go home yet."
Darrin gave me a weird look.
"Tell Mom and Dad that I'll call in the morning."
On that note, I walked out to the airport parking lot and got in my car. Once on the freeway, I saw a sign pointing me in the direction of Los Angeles. I decided to take that route.
The last time I decided to let the road decide where I would go, I ended up at Melinda's house. This time, I wasn't sure where I was going. All I knew is that I would definitely be on the road for a while this time.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
