An Old Friend in the Life of the Mac-Attack

Okay, so I messed around in California for about six weeks, finally came home, and was welcomed by the hurtful reality that I could no longer hang out with Melinda, even though we had been best friends since we were in preschool.

And my parents wonder why I didn't want to come home.

It's a weird feeling, losing a friend. I hadn't really ever lost any friends in my life--well, there was one friend.

Scott Siegel was in our Hebrew School class, and had been since the 4th grade. He was my best friend for two years before Ben moved to Phoenix. Then the three of us became the Three Stooges of the Temple Beth Zion Religious School. We were always causing trouble: making teachers quit, playing practical jokes on our other classmates, etc. However, after 6th grade, the troublemaking got old and two of us matured. Guess which two.

Needless to say, Ben and I didn't really want to be around Scott anymore. It was the 7th grade and we really wanted to buckle down and prepare for our bar-mitzvahs. Scott had no such intention and continued to act like an elementary schooler. After he made a fool of himself at his own bar-mitzvah by mocking the torah and doing a voice impersonation of our Cantor, Scott's parents decided he was out of control and sent him to military school. I haven't heard from him since then.

At least, I hadn't heard from him. I had just gotten back to my job working as my dad's assistant when I got a phone call.

"Rabbi Maccabbi's Office, this is Michael speaking."
"You'll never guess who I just got off the phone with!"
"Ben, if you're calling to tell me about your phone-sex with Ariel Woods, you should know that Miriam at the front desk is probably listening."
"No, it's not that. I know you can't really take personal calls at work--Miriam at the front desk?"
"Yes, she enjoys the phone conversations. Miraim, are you listening?"
"Hello, boys."
"Miriam, can you please get off the phone?"
"I suppose so."
"Thank you, Miriam."

I suppose Miriam got off the phone.

"You think she might have any granddaughters that are in our age group?"
"I'm not sure. Anyways, what were you saying when we got on the phone?"
"That I know you can't take personal calls at work."
"No, before that."
"Oh, yeah. Okay, so guess who I was on the phone with today."
"The Reverend Al Sharpton."
"Seriously, Mac. Guess."
"I really couldn't guess. Who was it?"
"Siegel."
"Scott Siegel?"
"No. Bugsy Siegel, the Jewish mobster who created Las Vegas. OF COURSE it was Scott Siegel!"
"Wow. What's he up to these days?"
"He's back in town."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, we're picking him up to the airport at 5."

I'm sorry, what did Ben just say?

"No. Bugsy Siegel, the Jewish mobster who created Las Vegas."

About four lines down from that.

"We're picking him up from the airport at 5."

He said that he's picking him up, right? He didn't say that we are picking him up. I must've typed wrong. It's gotta be a typo.

"Did you say WE are picking him up?"
"Yup. I'll swing by the shul and then we'll take my car to the airport to pick him up."
"And may I ask WHY we are picking him up?"
"Because I said we would."
"And why did you say we would?"
"Because he said he wanted to see us."
"Of course he did."
"Mac, it's been four years since we've seen him. Military school has probably changed him."
"I suppose. I guess it can't be too bad."

I was wrong. It COULD be too bad. Ben and I arrived at Sky Harbor Airport right at 5:00. We went to Baggage Claim to meet him. I remembered what he had looked like back in our Hebrew School days. He was about my height with big black hair. He always wore a football jersey of some sort and never seemed to shower. I wondered what he would look like four years later.

"Ben Sheiner and Michael Maccabbi!"

He had gotten about a foot taller since the last time we saw him. His arms were like miniature bombs and he had a buzz cut. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and camouflage pants. I guess when his parents sent him to military school, he got really into it.

"Siegel?"

I felt my bones crushing in his arms as my old friend gave me a hug.

"It's great to see you guys. It's been too long."
"Yeah, Siegel. Mac and I were just talking about how excited we were to hang with you tonight, weren't we, Mac?"
"Sure. Ben was also saying how excited he is to be paying for dinner tonight."
"I was?"
"Of course, don't you remember? Now, Siegel, don't be too shy to tell us where you want to eat. I know the food at military school can't be too good."
"Yeah, that shit is gross. I could use some pizza."
"Alright, By the Slice it is. I'll bet the game is on too."
"Yeah, sounds great. Let me just grab my bags."

Siegel threw his two bags over his shoulders and we walked out to Ben's car and onto By the Slice.

Everything was going surprisingly well. The pizza was great, the Diamondbacks were winning (shocking, I know) and we were reminiscing about old times.

"The one thing that I remember clearly about 6th grade is our teacher, Morah Chava."
"Yeah, she was insane."
"Well, she had no control over the Three Stooges!"
"No one did, not even the principal Mrs. Reichberg."
"Ah, Mrs. Reichberg. I feel like the three of us should've paid rent for her office. We were in there as often as she was!"
"Yeah, good times."

The three of us laughed for a little bit, until--

"So do you hear from any of the old gang anymore? Jan Lowenstien, Carol Hersh, Elisa Rosewood? Any of them?"
"Actually, we happened to run into Elisa back in March. We ended up having dinner with her."
"Yeah, I remember how much you were into her, Mac."
"Yup. Seems like a lifetime ago."

It all seemed like a lifetime ago. I hadn't seen a lot of these people in a long time. After Hebrew School Graduation, most of them stopped hanging around TBZ. I remember when Ben and I ran into Elisa Rosewood back in March, and I remember how different she looked. It seemed like it had been a hundred years since I had seen her, just like it seemed like it had been a hundred years since I had seen Scott Siegel.

"So, Mac, how's your brother Darrin doing?"
"Darrin's good. He went up to Flagstaff for the week with a few of his choir friends."
"Give him my best."
"I will."

My biggest surprise was that there was nothing awkward about dinner. It felt like 6th grade all over again. The Three Stooges back in business.

"So how's Melinda Moskowitz doing? I would guess you guys are still pretty tight."

And then it became awkward.

"Oh. Did I just hit a hot button?"
"No, it's really okay. Melinda's not talking to me right now."
"What? You guys were such good friends."
"Best friends."
"So what happened?"
"I don't really wanna talk about it, Siegel."

There was a pause. And then--

"She was in love with me forever. I realized that I was in love with her as well. However, I was too late. Then I went to California for six weeks to try to forget about her. It didn't work, so I came home. We were both at this party and she told me she couldn't be friends with me anymore. I just don't understand!"

Well, so much for not wanting to talk about it.

"Wow, you're really a mess over this."
"Yeah, he didn't take it so well."
"Well, who would? It's kinda weird to imagine you being in love, Mac-Attack. I mean, you were always with someone back then. I'm surprised you and Melinda never hooked up."
"Well, keep in mind how long her and I have been friends. I mean, she was like a sister to me. Plus, she wasn't really the hooking up type."

It was quiet again. Siegel looked at me.

"I wouldn't exactly say that she wasn't the hooking up type."
"I would say that. I mean, she didn't have her first kiss until Freshman year."

It was quiet again. I felt like Siegel was holding something back from us.

"She didn't have her first kiss until Freshman year--right, Mac?"
"As far as I know."

Siegel was looking around as if he was hiding something. Finally--

"Keep in mind that I was a completely different person back then."

He appeared to gather his thoughts, and then he continued.

"Do you guys remember the Youth Retreat up at Pearlstein in 7th grade?"
"Yeah. How could we forget? The girls raided our cabin with tampons!"
"Yes. But I wasn't there when that happened."
"Sure you were. It was in the middle of the night."
"But I was out of the cabin. Also, keep in mind that Melinda wasn't one of the ones raiding the cabin."
"What do you mean? She told us the next day that she coordinated the whole thing."
"But she wasn't there."

He took a deep breath.

"She was with me. We were walking and talking about all sorts of things."

He looked like he was sweating. He grabbed a napkin and wiped his face.

"Mac--we, uh, we kinda made out a little bit. Actually, we made out a lot."

I was stunned. I couldn't believe that Melinda hooked up with Scott Siegel.

"You hooked up with Melinda?"
"Why didn't you tell us? We were your best friends."
"You told us about all the other girls from the class that you hooked up with."
"Melinda told me not to tell you guys. She swore me to secrecy. We sealed it with a kiss."
"How many kisses were there?"
"I've probably told you too much."
"Scott, please tell me. I need to know."
"Mac, it was so long ago. I haven't even seen her since my bar-mitzvah."

It was silent. I didn't know what to say. My former best friend hooked up with my other best friend who had allegedly been in love with me forever. I knew that I shouldn't have been jealous. Afterall, Melinda was nothing more than just my best friend back then. Still, I couldn't help but wonder if there was more to the story.

"Well, I think we should get the check now. Dinner's on me, remember."
"Actually, Ben, let me get it. I think I may have ruined the evening."

Siegel covered the bill and we walked out of By the Slice. We proceeded to get back into Ben's car and head over to Siegel's house. The car ride was silent, with the excpetion of the sounds from Mix 96.9. We got to Siegel's place and we all got out of the car.

"Well, thanks for dinner, man."
"Hey, I owed it to you guys. I'm sorry about what happened all those years ago."

As he began walking over to his door, I felt I needed to say something.

"Hey, Siegel--"

He looked back at me.

"Don't be sorry for what you did with Melinda. She's always been a teriffic gal and I never saw it. You did, so don't be sorry for that."

He nodded his head to us.

"I'll see you guys around."
"Definitely."

And so, Ben and I drove off. I wasn't sure when we would be seeing Siegel again, but I knew that this would not be the last time.

It's interesting when I think about all the friends I've had in my life. Some have stuck around, some have drifted away, and some have just been wiped clean from my memory. However, I realized on that night that even when a good friend drifts away, they can always drift back.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack

A Welcome Home Party in the Life of the Mac-Attack

So, in case you didn't get a chance to read my last entry, I was convinced by a visit from my parents that it was time to leave Malibu. On my way home, I got a call from my USY friend B who has taken it upon himself to throw a Welcome Home Party for me.

After hanging around the house for a few days, I was excited to be getting out and going to a party. B's parties are always very extravagant, since his parents are loaded.

I got a call that morning from Ben, my best friend.

"What's happening, Ben?"
"Not much, just wanted to figure out who's driving tonight."

We always car-pool to B's parties since he lives all the way in Tempe.

"I guess I could, but I'm a little short on gas money since I haven't worked in almost two months."
"Well, maybe we can see if Melinda can drive."

Oh yes, something I forgot to mention. For all of you who aren't in the know, Melinda is my other best friend, the one whom I just realized recently that I'm in love with. Funny how life works, isn't it?

"Is Melinda coming?"
"Of course she's coming, Mac. She never misses one of B's parties."
"Never?"
"Yeah, never. Are you okay, Mac? You sound a little uneasy."
"No, I'm good. Uh, I wanna drive tonight. I'll get the gas money from my dad."

I still hadn't told him about my phone call with Melinda on the drive home. She had called me wanting to get some dinner when I got back, but I knew that I shouldn't do it since she was now going out with my friend Aaron Youngston.

You see, I had realized my true feelings for Melinda at Convention this past year, but when I finally got up off my ass to tell her, she had already moved on. Aaron was an okay guy, so I had no animosity toward him. Still, I wish it had been me that she was with that weekend.

I had no time to dwell on this. I was able to move on from her while I was in California. I was able to move on from her with TWO girls. I could move on from her again tonight. The first thing that was on my mind was getting the gas money from my Dad.

"You shoulda thought about needing gas money when you went off to California for a thousand years."

A thousand years. Oh, how time flies.

"Come on, Dad. You can even take it out of my paycheck. All I need is 35 dollars to fill up my tank."

As my dad pulled out his wallet--

"I can take care of that, Rabbi."

--some guy appeared out of nowhere offering to give me gas money.

"You must be Michael."

Yes, I am. Now who the hell are you?

"Michael, this is Mark Eisenberg, Tara's new boyfriend."

That answers my question.

"Uh, nice to meet you."

I shook his hand. I vaguely remember my sister Tara telling me about some guy that my dad had set her up with, a lawyer if I remember correctly. He was very tall and muscular and had brown hair. He seemed to meet Tara's standards in the physical appearance department.

"It's so great to finally meet you, Michael. Your family has told me so much about you."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Mark literally was rolling on the floor laughing. To be honest, I didn't think what I said was that funny.

"Okay, so I wouldn't want you to have money taken out of your paycheck, so here's a 50."

He handed me a 50 dollar bill.

"Keep the change," he said with a wink.
"Um, thanks."

Mark proceeded to leave the room, presumably to go back to Tara's room.

"Isn't he wonderful? I think Tara's finally found herself a keeper!"

I wondered if my mom felt the same way about Mark. I'm going to be honest with you: even if he did give me my gas money, I didn't get a good vibe from him. Maybe it was all in my head, but I didn't think about it much. I had a party to go to!

I picked Ben up and we headed into Tempe where B's oversized house awaited us.

"Mac-Attack, the guest of honor!"
"B, the crazy son-of-a-bitch who planned this little get-together!"

From the looks of it, this was more than just a little get-together. There was a DJ, a photographer, and about 650 of my closest friends who came to welcome me home!

"Attention Everybody," B said as he got up on the stage. "I'd like to welcome you all to my home. However, there's someone here who just recently returned to his own home. Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for Mac-Attack Maccabbi, our guest of honor!!!"

There was some applause on my behalf as the spotlight moved to me. What's interesting is that people were running up to me, welcoming me home and giving me hugs and what not...I didn't know a single one of them!

Eventually, I saw a couple people who I know.

"Hey, Aaron. Hey, Melinda."

Aaron shook my hand.

"You've been off the maps for quite some time, Mac-Attack. We've missed you."
"Yeah," I said as I looked at Melinda. "I've missed you guys too."

There was kinda an awkward pause.

"Oh, Boom Boom Pow is playing. Aaron, dance with me?"
"Now how can I say no to you?"

The happy couple kissed and then headed to the dance floor.

"You still love her."

Ben startled me a little, mostly because he had come out of nowhere.

"Did I startle you?"
"Yeah, mostly because you came out of nowhere."
"So, I just observed that you are still in love with Melinda."
"Yeah, maybe. What about it?"
"Well, it's just that--dude, you gotta get over her. I mean, you're the Mac-Attack! There's tons of girls here that would love a chance to have a one-nighter with a legend."
"Ben, I don't want any of them. I want Melinda. She's the only one for me."
"And she's also the only one for Aaron."

I remembered the last time I had pursued someone who was taken. I also remember how it felt to be the guy on the side, never being Mr. Right but only being Mr. Right Now. Most people would assume that the life of a player is glamorous and hurt-free. I used to think it was too, but then I realized that there's nothing hurt-free about it.

"Excuse me, but are you the Mac-Attack?"

I wondered who this girl was. She was fine alright, red hair and a perfect body.

"Is that what they're calling me these days?"

She laughed. I'm pretty smooth, that's probably how I get so many girls...wasn't I just talking about how being a player is wrong? Okay, I need to get away from this girl before I do something stupid.

"I'm Veronica."
"Veronica, like the 17th Century Italian Saint."
"Uh, I guess?"

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I am a wealth of useless information regarding the origins of female names.

"So, Veronica, how do you know B?"
"I go to school with him. I've heard a lot about you."

Veronica moved a little closer and then whispered in my ear: "I hear you're a lot of fun."

"You've heard correctly."

What the hell am I doing? This isn't me...okay, it is me. But I don't want it to be me. Pull yourself together, Maccabbi!

"There's a couple empty bedrooms. I hear they're very comfortable."

Don't do it, Mac! Resist your urges!

"That's what I hear. Maybe we should find out."

Her and I began kissing, but a while into it, I saw Melinda standing there. I pulled myself off of Veronica's face and chased after Melinda who was walking away.

"Melinda, wait."
"Michael, you don't owe me any explanation. You don't have to answer to me, I'm not your girlfriend."
"Then what's the problem?"
"There is no problem! There shouldn't be a problem. I'm with Aaron now, I've been happy for a month and a half now."
"So if you're so happy, and there's no problem, why do you look at me like that?"
"Because--Because--"

Then, untimely--

"Babe, you ready to go?"

Melinda looked at me.

"I have to go. I can't do this anymore."
"Can't do what?"

She looked at me again with tears in her eyes.

"I don't think we should hang out anymore."

I was speechless.

"Melinda, let's go!"

She looked at me one last time.

"Goodbye, Michael."

She kissed me on the cheek and walked away.

I didn't end up hooking up with Veronica. Instead, I decided it might be more fun to sit in my car and think about the fact that I had just lost my best friend who had been my best friend my entire life. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept: Life without Melinda. Our families were still friends, we were still in USY together, and we were still at the same school. How was I supposed to go on without having her in my life? I love her. I don't want to lose her.

As I was thinking, I also thought it might be appropriate to start crying and hitting my steering wheel. I did this for a while until Ben came to the car. It seemed that the party was over now.

"Are you okay?"
"No, Ben. I'm the opposite of okay. I'm in love."
"Let me drive. We'll stay over at my place tonight, we can talk all about it."

So I went to Ben's house that night and told him everything that had happened. About what Melinda said to me, and what I wished I had said to Melinda. I told him about how I wish everything was back to the way it had been months ago, before I had ever even heard of the concept of love. Everyone seemed to be much happier back then.

I didn't sleep much. I thought about everything that had happened: Convention, my trip to California, coming home, and now this. I had thought that I could escape from my problems by being away from them for a while. As it turns out, all my problems were still there, waiting for me to return home. I came to the realization that people can't run away from their problems and that they have to face them sooner or later. I just wish I could've faced them later, rather than sooner.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack

Driving Home in the Life of the Mac-Attack

Okay, so where did we leave off?

Oh yeah, it all started when Ben left California to go back home. I proceeded to hook up with the receptionist at my Grandma's eye doctor's office. The next morning, I walked into my Grandma's house only to see that my wonderful parents had gotten there first. My mom and dad were just so thrilled to see me!

"We're so thrilled to see you, son."
"Yes, after more than a month, it's VERY nice to see you."
"I just love family reunions!"

I looked at my grandma strangely.

"So, did you have fun with the girl from the eye doctor's office?"
"Uh, yeah, she was cool."

I was so shocked that I really didn't have too much to say.

"She must've been cool. You obviously had SEX with this girl!"
"Did you use the condoms I bought you, Michael?"

My dad gave my Grandma a very dirty look.

"Well, I think some breakfast might be in order. Al, you and Shayna must be starving after that long drive."

My grandma left the room, and then it was just me and the parents.

"So...what's up?"

If you hadn't noticed already, I'm not very good at starting conversations during awkward moments.

"What's up? What's up is that you've been gone for over a month."
"I've kept in touch, Mom."
"Yes, but it doesn't change the fact that you're here doing God knows what with God knows who."
"And God IS watching you."
"Are you reading the Torah or are you reading 1984?"

I tend to be a smart-ass when I don't really know what to say.

"Marty Sheiner called me and told me Ben came home. I think it's about time that you do the same. Plus, the shul is getting really busy with people wanting to join. I'd really like to have my assistant back."

My father paused.

"I'd like my son back too. Believe it or not, we really have missed you."

I was stunned. For a moment, I felt really connected to my parents.

"Yes, even if you DO have STDs."

And the moment's gone.

"Breakfast is served."

We sat around the kitchen table eating eggs and stuff like that. After breakfast, I packed my things and loaded up my car. My parents agreed to leave before me, since they had brought their own car. I sat down with my grandma for a second.

"So, the trip didn't end the way you expected."
"Yeah, you can say that."

She had a sweet smile on her face; she always did.

"I'm going to miss having you around."
"I'm going to miss being around, Grandma."

She hugged me tightly.

"Now, remember, those condoms don't expire until July 2011. Use them wisely."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, I will."

I left the house and started driving. Six hours is a lot of time to think about things and to put them into perspective. I was in California for one month, one week and four days. It was a long time to be away from home, but I really needed that time to be away. All the drama that had led up to my trip was a lot to handle, and it was nice to have zero drama for a while. I met a couple girls, had some great moments, and all-in-all, had an amazing trip. I didn't really want to come home, but maybe it was time.

I thought about Laura, my true Summer romance. I thought about how much fun those three weeks had been, about our first kiss, and about our last kiss.

I even thought about the time I spent with Ben, who came to California about three weeks after I had gotten there. We had some adventures, from his awkward date with Laura's cousin, to his hook-up with Ariel Woods. I decided to give him a call to let him know I was gonna be home.

602 555 3133

"So, you've decided to finally come home."

How did he know?

"How did you know?"
"I've got my sources...and I also guessed."
"Well, you guessed right. I'm coming home."
"I knew you couldn't survive in California without me!"
"Ben, I was there for three weeks before you came out there."
"Well--I--you missed me and you know it."
"I did, my friend, but I'll be home tonight. We should hang out tomorrow."
"Yeah, definitely. I'll talk to ya later. Have a safe trip."
"Alright, man, see ya later."

About 15 minutes after I was off the phone with Ben, I recieved another phone call.

480 555 9701

"Hello?"
"Mac-Attack! I hear you're back from the dead!"

It was none other than my friend Brian Berg, more commonly known as B.

"What's up, B?"
"What's up is that you missed my party back in June."
"Yeah, sorry about that, man. I've been out of town for the past 5 weeks."
"So I've noticed. Seems like you were off the grid somewhere. Where were you, Wyoming?"
"B, why on Earth would I want to go to Wyoming?"
"You have a point. So where WERE you?"
"Malibu; my grandmother's beach house."
"Nice, nice."
"Yeah, it was a good trip."
"Good to hear. Anyway, I'm throwing you a Welcome Home Party at my place on Saturday night. Hopefully it will make up for you missing my party last month."
"B, let me ask you something: do your parents KNOW you throw all these parties? I don't think I've ever met them."
"Of course they know about the parties. Who do you think pays for it all?"
"Good point."
"So we're set for Saturday night. I'll invite the best girls to...welcome you home, if you know what I mean."

I really hope he didn't mean hookers.

"Alright then. Uh, I'm on the road, so I'll talk to you later."
"For sure, man. See ya Saturday!"

And on that note, I was off the phone with B. I decided to turn up the radio when I heard the song that was playing. Please forgive me for liking Country music, but the song that was playing was very fitting for me. It was called "Long Trip Alone" by Dierks Bentley, and it was obviously fitting for me for I, myself, had just taken a long trip alone. There was one segment in the song that really spoke to me:

It's a short peice of time but just enough to find
A little peace of mind under the sun somewhere

For the last couple days, I had really started thinking about the actual reason that I had come to California in the first place. I thought that maybe I just wanted to run away from my problems. I also thought that I had gone to California to get over Melinda, or even Dara. But the more I listened to the song, I realized that I went to California because I just needed some time to myself. I remember the night that I left for California, how lost and confused I had been. I was ready to be home and to move on from everything.

I recieved one more phone call on my trip home.

602 555 2643

"Melinda, hi."
"I hear that you're coming home."
"Yup. I'm going through Wickenberg as we speak."
"That's cool. Yeah, I was surprised to hear about your homecoming from B of all people. He was inviting me to your Welcome Home party. I figured you would've called me before calling HIM."
"I didn't call him. I suppose Ben talked to him."
"So you called Ben?"
"Of course I did."
"But you didn't call me."
"Melinda, I don't have to answer to you. It's not like we're dating or something."
"You're not dating Ben either."
"Ben's my best friend."
"And what am I?"

Crap, I knew that came out wrong.

"Melinda, you're still my other best friend. I'm sorry I didn't call you, but I just didn't feel that it was important."
"Well, I guess you're right."

There was a pause.

"What time will you be back?"
"I'll be be back in time for dinner."
"Great. Can we meet at By the Slice? I really want to see you."

WAIT A MINUTE--Melinda chose Aaron Youngston over me. Why on Earth would she want to have dinner with me when she could have dinner with him? This is confusing.

Not knowing what else to say, I said: "Would Aaron be okay with that?"

I wondered if I shouldn't have said that.

"Michael, why is it that a friend can't see a friend without a bunch of questions being asked?"
"I don't know if it's a good idea, Melinda."
"Why? Nothing's going to happen. I have a boyfriend."
"Yes, you do, which is why I don't think it would be a good idea for me to go out with you tonight. Aaron might get the wrong idea."
"Don't you want to see me?"

Of course I want to see you! I've missed you so much! Forget what I just said!!!

"I can't tonight, Melinda. But I'll see you at the party on Saturday night."

There was a pause.

"Melinda?"
"Yes, I'll be there. I'm--I'm glad you're coming home."
"Strangely, me too."
"Okay, well I guess I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah, definitely."

I spent the rest of the trip wondering why I turned down Melinda's offer to have dinner. After all, she IS my friend, and it WOULD be nice to see her. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to terms with a hard truth:

I'm still not over her.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack

The Definition of a Player in the Life of the Mac-Attack

Quick question: Does is sound strange that everything about my trip seemed to change after the 4th of July?

The morning after our nation's birthday, Laura left for a trip of her own. Italy was a lucky place to have such an amazing girl stepping on its soil. I had been spending a lot of time with Laura when we met in June. Of course, it wasn't anything more than a summer fling, but I sorta missed having someone to walk on the beach with every day.

I guess it was okay, because Ben was still in California with me; he and I could just hang out the rest of the summer. I'm sure his parents would be okay if he stayed in Malibu just a little bit longer.

"Mac, my parents called last night. I have to go home."

That was the sound of reality hitting me.

"You're gonna go home after just two weeks?"
"You know how my parents get. They have a hard time being away from me for a three-day USY weekend. I'd say two weeks was pretty reasonable."

I guess it made sense. Unlike me, Ben's actually close with his parents. He's also an only child, so his parents probably appreciate his company more than my appreciate mine; I have three siblings, my parents won't ever be alone.

Suddenly, my Grandma came out with an entire ice-chest full of food.

"Now, Benjamin, I packed you two sandwiches, chips, and a batch of peanut-butter cookies. However, you must promise not to eat the cookies until you've finished your first sandwich."
"Oh, it's a deal! Thanks, Mrs. Maccabbi!"

My grandmother gave Ben a hug.

"I'll give you two a minute. Oh, Michael, I have an eye appoinment today. Can you drive me?"
"Sure thing, Grandma."

I was DEFINITELY thrilled about that.

"So I'm outta here now. When are YOU coming home?"
"I'm not sure yet, Ben. Depends on how things go here."
"Why not just come home today? If we leave now, we can hit By the Slice for dinner."
"I don't want to come home yet, Ben. I'll be back before the summer ends."
"You better be."

Ben and I hugged.

"Drive safely."
"I will, don't worry."

As Ben got into his car and drove off, I thought about what I just said to him.

"Drive safely."

I meant what I said before I said that.

"I'll be back before the summer ends."

There was still a lot of summer left. If I didn't want to go home now, who's to say I'll want to go home before the summer ends. Who's to say I'll want to go home even WHEN the summer ends.

"Michael, are you ready to drive me to the eye doctor?"
"Yes, Grandma."

When we got to the eye doctor's office, I got a chance to sit in the waiting room and read old magazines while the doctor looked at my grandma's eyes. I was reminded of the first two weeks I was in Malibu, before I met Laura. I was always in the house or driving my grandma to appointments and stuff. I suddenly wondered if Ben was right and if I should've just gone home when he did. I thought about it for about two seconds until--

"Dr. Hayward's office, this is Lizzie speaking."

She had a sexy voice, and her appearance completed her. Her dark hair, her tan skin, her soft-looking lips, and her seductive eyes reminded me of exactly why I love California so much.

"So, your the one who answers the phones around here."
"Yup, that's me."
"We have something in common. I, too, answer phones for a living."
"Well, I just do it so I can pay my tuition at Pepperdine."

Holy shit, she's a college girl. This might be tricky.

"Pepperdine University? What's your major?"
"I'm a second-year Pre-Dental student."
"You may be working in the wrong type of office."

She laughed a little bit. So far, I was at the top of my game.

"What's your name?"
"They call me Mac-Attack."
"Oh yeah, why's that?"
"When I see something I want, I go for it."

Now I was just making it too easy on myself!

"That's a good philosophy. Does it work?"
"Is it working right now?"

This was the perfect time for my grandma's appointment to be over. You'll see why in a minute.

"Was your appointment good, Grandma?"
"It certainly was. You know, your grandpa always said that Bugs Bunny never needed glasses because he ate so many carrots. He used to say that every time he went to the eye-doctor."

Lizzie was definitely giving me the eye right now. In this situation, I figure most girls think: He's smooth, good-looking, AND he's close with his grandma. I want him!

This girl was no exception.

"It was nice meeting you, Lizzie. Good luck with everything at Pepperdine."

Most people would ask why I didn't give her my number. Well, in this type of situation, I feel the best way to handle Lizzie would be to leave her wanting more. This way--

"Mac, wait."

They always come running.

"I get off at 5. Here's my number."

Now this is what I call a vacation!

Right at 5:00, I decided to go back to the eye-doctors' office. I didn't feel it was necessary to make a phone call that would definitely end with "I'd love to go out tonight."

They were just closing up the office. I decided to wait outside the door.

"Mac?"
"I didn't really want to call. I just wanted to see you again."

I'm so good.

"I'm glad you came. Do you want to grab an early dinner?"
"I'd love to."
"Okay, let me just grab my purse from my car."

She grabbed her purse and got into my car.

"So I wanted to ask: are you from around here?"
"No, I'm just in town visiting the grandmother."
"Oh, that's so sweet!"
"That's just the type of guy I am."
"I can tell. She seems like a nice lady."
"Oh yeah, Grandma's a doll. She's been the only consistent woman in my life."
"Oh, really? You don't have a girlfriend?"
"I tried that for a while, it was definitely an interesting experience."
"Yeah, I'm definitely not looking for anything serious. I just got out of a really serious relationship."
"What happened?"
"I'm an independant woman. I don't like being tied down. My boyfriend wanted to control my life, so I left him. I've been without him for over a month."
"And how are you enjoying single life?"
"It's been great. I go out with whoever I want and I have a lot of fun. What can I say; I'm a girl who loves to have a good time."
"Lucky me."

She pointed me in the direction of this great steak and seafood place. Dinner went just as well as the ride over. We talked, we laughed, we did exactly what she told me she loved doing: we had a good time.

Before I knew it, we were walking out to my car, holding hands. I swear we must have been in the resaturant for 2 hours, cus it was 7:30 at night by now.

"You definitely know how to pick a good place to eat."
"Yeah, I used to go there with my boyfriend all the time."

There was a pause.

"You sure you're over this guy?"
"Of course I am."

I wasn't really convinced.

"What can I do to convince you?"

I thought about it, but before I could say anything--

"Would this help?"

Suddenly, she was kissing me. Her lips were just as soft as they looked, and her hands were tightly girpping my back.

"Alright, I'm convinced."

She laughed for a little bit.

"You're cute."

She kissed me again.

"I wanna show you something."

She pointed me in the direction of this hill. From the top of the hill, we could see the entire city of Los Angeles.

"You know your spots."
"I'd like to know your's."

From this spot, we could even see the stars. I'm a real sucker for the stars, mostly because they can make anything romantic. They can even make backseat car-sex romantic, as I learned on this fun-filled evening.

I remember my phone vibrating, but I wasn't exactly in a position where I could answer the phone.

So Lizzie and I stayed out all night. I drove her over to the office where her car was parked the next morning.

"Last night was fun."
"Yeah, it was."

We kissed one more time before she got out of the car.

I waved as she got walked into her place of work. I knew that I probably wouldn't be seeing her again, but I knew that I would remember the night forever.

I don't know if you all remember, but months ago, before I started dating Dara Karpen, I was the definition of a player. I hooked up with all sorts of girls all the time, and I never really realized how much I genuinely missed that lifestyle. The more I thought about it on the drive back to my grandma's place, the more I convinced myself that I shouldn't have ever left my former lifestyle, that I shouldn't have ever changed my ways.

This lasted for a little while, until I finally looked at my phone to see who my missed calls were from. Both missed calls were from one person: Melinda Moskowitz.

I thought about calling her back, but I seriously had no idea what I could say to her. Still, I decided to call her back anyway. I figured I could probably just do small-talk the whole time and be fine.

"Hey, I called you twice."
"I saw that. I was, uh, busy."
"How's California? I miss you."
"California is great."

There was a pause.

"How are things with Aaron?"
"Oh, it's amazing. Aaron is such a sweet guy."

There was another pause.

"Have you been with any girls in California."

What's the point in lying?

"Yeah, two."
"Oh...that's nice."
"Yeah, it was fun."
"So are you officially back to just having fun?"
"Maybe."
"The same Michael Maccabbi we all know and love. I guess some things don't really change."

I didn't exactly like her tone.

"What's that supposed to mean, Melinda?"
"It doesn't surprise me."
"What doesn't surprise you?"
"You changed your ways, it didn't go your way, you ran away, and then changed back into the man-whore you've always been."
"So what if I did, Melinda? It works for me."
"Have you ever met a girl who resisted your charm?"
"Nope, and YOU couldn't resist my charm either."
"Don't even start. You had your chance with me and you left me standing there. I moved on. It looks like you moved on too."
"You're right, I have moved on. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was the hardest things I ever had to do, but I have moved on."

There was a pause. Melinda may have been shocked.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for us, Melinda."
"Yeah, me too."
"I'll be home before summer ends. I'll talk to you then."
"Alright, Michael. Take care of yourself."
"You too."

I got off the phone and suddenly began thinking of the events leading up to my trip to California. I remember Dara dumping me the week before. Melinda attempted to seduce me a couple days later, but I rejected her. That weekend, at Convention, I was about to tell Melinda how I felt about her when I walked in on her with Aaron Youngston, a friend of mine. She had moved on, and I needed to move on. Maybe that's why I came to California in the first place.

All I can say was that the trip was full of surprises. However, no surprise compared to what I saw when I walked into my grandmother's house that morning.

"Hello, Michael."

Standing in my grandmother's living room were my Dad and my Mom.

Things were most definitely about to get interesting.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack

A Night of Fireworks and Romance in the Life of the Mac-Attack

In 1776, many brave men decided it would be fun to risk their lives by creating their own country. 233 years later, we celebrate these bad-ass Patriots with hot dogs, fireworks, and movies starring Tom Cruise as a crippled Vietnam veteran.

I remember last 4th of July. Ben and I went over to the Marriot. I'll tell you, those vacation girls really know how to show a guy a good time. I still have my fake business card: Chuck Harrison, Businessman. Good times, good times.

Well, this year, I wouldn't be using any fake names or business cards, for I would be spending the evening on the beach with the beautiful Laura. I've been seeing her for a couple weeks; she's a lot of fun to be around.

I just knew that this 4th of July would be one of the best I'd ever had. I've always loved this holiday and all of its traditions. I was thinking about it as my Grandma made some pancakes for Ben and I.

"So I got a call from Ariel Woods the other day."

Ariel Woods is this girl from USY who lives in Vegas. I don't think she's much of a looker, but Ben seems to see something in her that no one else does. They've been known to hook up on a few occasions, but not since Freshman year, so it was kinda random.

"That's kinda random."
"She's in town from Vegas visiting her aunt and uncle."
"I haven't seen her since Convention last year. I wonder if she looks any different."
"See for yourself."
"Okay...oh, wow."

I can't say I'm too surprised that Ben would brag to me about recieving a nude picture on his phone. I also can't say I'm too surprised that Ariel's appearance didn't change much. She still had the owl-like eyes and the fish-like lips. She also had the same curly black hair that she always had. However, she did get her braces off, so that was a plus for Ben.

"I told her that you and I are in town and I invited her to watch the fireworks with us on the beach. Kinda like a double-date, except my date won't look like Ugly Betty."
"She'll look like Ugly Something," I said under my breath.
"What?"
"I said that it would be fun if you guys hung out with Laura and I tonight."
"Awesome...do you think I could borrow one of those condoms your grandma got for you?"
"It's funny you should ask, Benjamin."

My grandma walked in with a huge plate of pancakes.

"I bought you your own. Use them wisely."
"Wow, thanks Mrs. Maccabbi!"
"Now you two enjoy your breakfast."
"Uh, thanks, Grandma."

Grandma left the kitchen and turned on the TV, presumably to watch reruns of Murder She Wrote.

"Dude, you're grandma is the COOLEST!"
"You're really gonna swipe your V-Card with Ariel Never-Given-Any-Guy-Wood?"
"She gave ME wood!"

I gave my best friend a very weird look.

"Anyway, what about you? Is tonight gonna be the night for you and Laura?"
"I think so, she's been hinting at it."

She had been. For instance, when we were having dinner the other night, we heard someone order a Sex on the Beach. Laura commented this by saying:

"Now that's a drink that sounds good to me."

You gotta love a girl who knows how to talk dirty.

As Ben and I finished our pancakes, I figured I should call home. I hadn't talked to my parents all week.

"Hello?"

It was my sister Tara. I hadn't talked to her since I left.

"Tara?"
"Well if it isn't my long-lost brother."
"Tara, I've been gone for a month. I'd hardly call myself long-lost."
"That doesn't compensate for the pain inside! All I've wanted all month is to talk to my brother! Do you ever think of anyone but yourself???"

She can be a little dramatic at times. I swear, her and my younger brother JT must be clones or something. They act the same, talk the same, shop at the same stores, and even look for the same qualities in guys!

"I'm, uh, sorry?"
"Oh, I forgive you. Afterall, we can't hold grudges in this family, can we?"
"I guess not?"
"So what have you been up to?"
"Not a whole lot. Kinda started seeing this girl while I've been here. Ben's also been here."
"Great, awesome, fabulous. Do you want to hear about how good I'm gonna look tonight?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"I'm going out with this guy from the shul. Dad set me up with him; he's a lawyer!!!"
"Oh, Dad set you up on a date. He's never done that for me."
"Well, unlike you, I'm not a whore!"

Tara began laughing about the fact that she just called me a whore. I wasn't sure if she was joking. Every time I talk to my family, I seem to be reminded that they all have this very negative opinion on my bachelor-like lifestyle.

So after about ten minutes of hearing my sister talk about herself, I was able to get off the phone and head over to Laura's house. I was hoping she'd want to take a walk; we'd been doing a lot of walking since we started hanging out.

"Hey, beautiful," I said as I entered her house through the back door.
"Hey, Mac. How are you?"
"I'm excited for tonight."
"Yeah, me too. There's gonna be some great fireworks over here tonight. You're gonna love them!"
"I'll bet."

I looked at her for a minute.

"What's up?"
"You are so beautiful."
"Well, obviously."

She looked at me and we started laughing. Have you ever kissed someone in the midst of laughing? It's pretty great.

"So is Ben joining us tonight?"
"Yes, actually. He has a date as well."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. Ariel Woods is her name; he hasn't hooked up with her in a couple years, so it'll be fun for him."
"Is she better for him than Gertrude was?"

Gertrude was Laura's cousin. On Ben's first night in Malibu, we decided it might be a good idea to set him up with her; bad idea.

"Well, Ben seems to think she is."
"Good, We'll definitely have a great time tonight."

I could suddenly hear in Laura's tone of voice that something was bothering her.

"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?"

She was now sounding defensive.

"Are you sure? You seem to be holding something back."
"I'm fine, Mac!"

I could tell that she wasn't fine. I looked at her for a minute.

"I wanna be with you tonight."
"Well, you'll be watching the fireworks with me. We'll be together."
"I mean, I want to be with you tonight."

I suddenly knew what she was talking about.

"Laura, there's nothing that I'd like more."

We kissed. Suddenly, she seemed to be back to normal. I guess girls have strange mood swings sometimes.

I decided to go for a quick run before heading back to my grandma's place. The sight I walked in on made me wish I had ran for a little longer.

"Oh, Mac, you're home! You remember Ariel."

You have no idea how much I wanted to die when I saw Ben laying on my grandmother's couch with a blotchy, half-naked Ariel laying on top of him.

"Hi, Mac-Attack!"

Her voice sounded like that of a cartoon mouse.

"Uh, hey."

I began to think about the Greek King Oedipus. I envied him, for he had the means to gouge out his eyes. Some bastards have all the luck.

"So how's Laura doing?"
"She's fine. Um, I'm gonna go lay down."

As soon as I started walking away, I heard the sounds of: "Now, where were we?" and "Right about here." As if that wasn't enough, I heard what could only be mistaken as a mouse squealing while being chased by a cat.

BARF!!!

After avoiding the lovely couple for a little while, I decided to get dressed and head downstairs. Laura was already waiting for me with Ben and Ariel.

"Lookin sexy, babe."

She was wearing a white blouse, jeans, and flip-flops. I kissed her.

"We ready to go?"
"Yeah. You're gonna love tonight. It's amazing."
"So you've told me."
"Oh yeah, and bring your dancers' legs. There's gonna be some great music."

Dancing on the beach with a beautiful girl on the 4th of July. Does it GET any better than this?

The atmosphere was great. There were hot dogs being grilled, there were people playing beach volleyball, and there was some great music.

The highlight, of course, was the fireworks show. I even remember this one display of heart-shaped fireworks. There was nothing like sitting on the beach, holding hands with Laura. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.

The music came back on after the fireworks. The song was Kiss me Through the Phone by Solja Boy; I guess that's considered a slow one.

As we danced, I held her in my arms. As we heard the second chorus, she spoke:

"I'm going to Italy tomorrow. I'm gonna be there the rest of the summer."

I was stunned.

"Wow. That's, uh, that's something."
"I wish I didn't have to go. I feel like we just started; I don't want to leave you."

I tried to find the words to say. The truth is, I knew that it wasn't going to last any longer than the summer. I just didn't realize it would end so early. When I finally gathered my thoughts, I said to her:

"We're just gonna have to make the most of our last night together."

I looked at her and kissed her.

In the meantime, Ben and Ariel seemed highly occupied attempting to eat each others' faces.

"Hey, Ben, I think Laura and I are gonna get out of here. You gonna be okay?"

I have a feeling he didn't hear me. I figured it was probably a safe assumption to say that he would be just fine without me.

Laura and I got back to my grandma's place around 11:00. We went straight to my room.

We kissed for a little while before we started removing our clothes. Her skin was soft, her kisses were slow, and her body was warm. After we made love, I remember her falling asleep in my arms. However, when I woke up the next morning, she was no longer there. She was already dressed and about to leave.

"Good morning."
"Hey, sleepyhead."

There was a short silence as I sat up.

"Last night was--"
"Incredible."
"You took the words right out of my mouth."

She kissed me.

"I'm gonna really miss you, Mac."
"I'll miss you too, Laura."

We looked at each other. I knew it would be the last time I'd see her for a long time.

"You take care of yourself."
"You too."

I've had to say goodbye to girls before, but somehow this was different. It was harder.

"This is really hard."
"I know."
"I want you to know that I won't forget you."

Suddenly her phone rang.

"It's my mom. I better get back to my house; I have to be at the airport in a couple hours."

As she walked out, I put some pants on and ran out onto the beach. I stopped her for a second and kissed her extremely passionately.

"I'll never forget you either."

She nodded her head and seemed to be fighting back some tears.

"I have to go. I'll see you around."

She gave me one last kiss and then walked off into the sunrise. As I watched her walk away, I thought about all the good times her and I had. I knew that I would forever think fondly of Laura Silverman. I also knew that our paths would cross again someday.

It's funny when you think of love stories. Most people think of the conventional love stories: Boy meets Girl, Boy gets Girl, Boy and Girl end up together at the end. I guess this was the rare love story that dared to be different. Maybe it was almost better because of that.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack