"I'm still in love with you, Melinda."
I waited for a response from her.
"What?"
It wasn't the response I expected, although I didn't really know what type of response I was expecting. I wasn't sure how she would react, and frankly I didn't know what it would accomplish. Still, I felt it was worth a shot.
"I'm still in love with you."
Melinda looked shocked, and I didn't blame her. It was a lot to digest.
"Are you sure about this, Michael?"
"I'm more sure about this than I've ever been about anything. I still love you as much as I did when we first got together. Hell, I may even love you more."
She looked unconvinced.
"It's always been you, Melinda. No girl has ever given me that feeling that you give me. I loved being with you more than I've ever loved anything. Being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me, and it took me losing you to realize how much I need you."
Now she looked convinced, but had sorrow in her eyes.
"How long have you known?"
"I think I've always known, Melinda. But with the whole Brittany Zieglar thing, along with that thing with Dara, I had my head up my ass. But today, when I went to Dara's house to see if she wanted to get back together, I was relieved when it became apparent that she wasn't interested. The first person I wanted to see was you because I really wanna get back together with you, not her."
It was silent as she tried to take everything in. In a very short time, I gave her an entire revelation. It can get a little messy with all those emotions flying around.
"Michael, I...I need you to leave."
"What?"
"This can't happen. You broke up with me. I moved on and now I'm with Aaron. I love him and we're happy."
"You can't honestly tell me that you're completely over me, Melinda. I know you too well."
"Please go, Michael."
"Not until you look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore."
She looked into my eyes, with tears in her's. She said nothing.
"See, you can't do it."
"I just want you to go."
"Why, Melinda? Why do you want me to go? You gonna call your boyfriend and keep pretending that there's nothing here? Well, I love you, and I know you love me too. I'm not giving up this time, because I lost you once. I won't lose you again."
I started walking toward the door.
"Michael!"
I turned around.
"I'm not your's to lose."
I turned around, carrying my heavy heart. With every step I took, my heart became heavier. Eventually, my heart slipped out of my hands and broke. As I picked up the peices, I was determined to put it back together. However, a big peice of the heart was missing, and that was the part that belonged to Melinda. The only way my heart could be full was if Melinda gave me a peice of her heart. So as I got into my car and drove away from her house, I was more determined than ever to win that peice of her heart back.
"Dude, you really need to make up your mind."
Ben was only reminding me of my consistent inconsistency when it came to the women in my life.
"I mean, you loved Melinda, then you dumped her. Then you were all hell-bent on Brittany, and that didn't work out. Just the other day, you were fucking Dara. Now you want Melinda back."
"See, you make it sound worse than it actually is."
"Come on, Mac, you've always been like this."
"Been like what?"
"Like a guy who doesn't know what he wants."
"Well, I know what I want now."
"Okay. What are you gonna want tomorrow?"
"I'll want what I want now."
"Are you really sure about that?"
"Yes. I want Melinda back."
"What happens in August when you move to Gainseville?"
"Can't I cross that bridge when I get there?"
"That's the type of attitude you wanted to avoid. That's why you broke up with her in the first place."
"And it was stupid of me to break up with her."
"Probably, but she's with Aaron now. I somehow don't think that he wants to lose her any more than you do."
"Well, she's with the wrong guy."
"That may be so, but what makes you the better guy?"
"I care about her way more than that Massachussetts motherfucker ever did."
"Can you prove it?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Well, if you want Melinda back, you're gonna have to prove it to her."
"Can you help me?"
"What type of best friend would I be if I didn't?"
"A shitty one?"
"And am I a shitty best friend?"
"Not at all. You're the best, dude."
"It's what I'm here for. Now, if we're gonna pull this off, we're gonna need some advice from some experts."
"What types of experts?"
The two experts Ben had in mind were my gay brother JT and his boyfriend Josh.
"Thank you for seeing us today, gentlemen."
"No problemo. We just love making romance happen, don't we?"
"A hell to the yes."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we just get this over with?"
"Over with?"
"You expect us to help you if you just wanna get it over with? Monseiuor, we don't just get things over with. This isn't a random hook-up. It's love."
"You tell him, baby."
Let it go on the record that I'm not a homophobe. However, I would be lying if I said I was comfortable watching my younger brother being caressed by a dude.
"Um, okay."
"Gentlemen, what my friend needs is advice on the woman he is hoping to win."
"Well, we certainly do know a lot about women."
They practically were women.
"Okay, well, every woman likes to be swept off her feet. Does her current boy toy sweep her off her feet?"
"I don't know. I try not to think about their relationship."
"Oh no, you must think about their relationship."
"Why?"
"Well, how do you know that you're better than the other man?"
"I just know."
"You need to know for sure, Mac-Attack. You need to figure out what you have that he doesn't have."
I thought for a minute.
"I have a long, drawn-out history with her."
"Aaron has a history with her as well."
"It's not the same."
"How is it not the same?"
"Because her and I were best friends. They just happened to hook up at a USY event. That's not the same as being best friends with someone your entire life. Hell, the only reason she even got with him is because she was mad at me."
And just like that, I finally had a breakthrough.
"That's it!"
"What's it?"
"What her and Aaron have is nothing compared to what her and I had. I mean, we've known each other our entire lives. She knows me better than I know myself! I just need her to see that."
"Exactly. Michael, it looks like you're ready."
"Thank you for all your help, gays...uh, I mean, guys."
"You are most welcome!"
Ben and I left and began discussing Phase 2.
"What next?"
"You tell me."
"I'm wondering if I should go to Melinda's and tell her about my breakthrough."
"NO!"
"No?"
"Absolutely not."
"Then what do I do?"
"You go home, you go to sleep, and then you wait."
"Wait for what?"
"You wait for an opportune moment."
"How do I know when there will be an opportune moment?"
"You'll just know."
I didn't know when the opportune moment was, but Ben did. When Ben got home, he started devising the plan, but he asked for some outside help once again, this time, via Skype.
"Ben! I'm so glad to see you!"
"Hi, Sam."
"What time is it there?"
"3 AM."
"Oh, wow. This must be important if you're up so late."
"Well, I figured this would be a good time to catch you. I need to help Mac."
"What's wrong with Mac? Is he okay?"
"He's in love, so no, he's not okay."
"Okay, what can I do to help?"
"Well, it's Melinda. She's with Aaron right now, and Mac needs to make some sort of gesture that proves his worth to her."
"Any leads yet?"
"Actually, yes. I had this idea for Mac to go over the school PA System and profess his love to Melinda. Then, after class is over, he can give her a rose and ask her to prom."
"Wow. You really thought this through. How did you come up with it?"
"Well, that's kinda how I was gonna ask you to prom."
"Aww! Ben, I miss you so much."
"I miss you too, Sam. I hope we can talk soon."
"Definitely, Ben. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Sam."
There was still one flaw in Ben's plan; Melinda was still with Aaron, and she wasn't planning on leaving him.
"So now that we have the perfect gesture, what are we gonna do about her boyfriend?"
"I guess I didn't think about that."
"How can my opportune moment be an opportune moment if she's still taken?"
"That's a good question."
The bell rang.
"I say you do it."
"But I'll get rejected and look like an idiot in front of the entire student body of Deer Valley High."
"Since when do you care what people think?"
"Um, have you met me?"
"Okay, okay. So you're thinking about what happens if she says 'No'. But what about if she says 'Yes'? There is a chance of that happening."
"Do you really think so?"
"Absolutely. If you want a romantic gesture, you've got the perfect one right now."
I looked around and then nodded my head.
"I'll do it!"
"Damn right you'll do it!"
I walked to the Principal's office and got the OK from our Vice Principal Mrs. Cropp.
"That sounds like fun! I'll put you on the speaker right now!"
"Thanks!"
I went over the intercom system and began speaking the words from the deepest part of my soul.
"Attention, students, I'd like to make an announcement. I'd like to announce that I am completely and desperately in love with Melinda Moskowitz. Melinda, you know me better than I know myself, and I know you take pride in how well you know me. I also know that you must feel something for me. You're the only girl for me, Melinda, and I know that I'm the right guy for you. I love you, Melinda. Will you go to prom with me?"
That was the end of my announcement to the entire student body of Deer Valley High.
After the bell rang, Melinda approached me.
"So, what did you think?"
She slapped me.
"What the hell was that, Michael?"
"A romantic gesture that proves how I feel to you."
"Are you insane?"
"Very much so."
"Well, the answer is 'No'. I won't go to prom with you."
She began to walk away.
"Then answer me this, Melinda: would Aaron ever do something like this? Would Aaron make an ass out of himself just to prove how much he cares? I don't think he would."
She stopped for a second, but continued walking away. I spent the rest of the day feeling
embarrassed about putting myself out there like that. I wondered if it was worth the pain I was feeling.
I stayed home from school the next day. I spent the day reflecting on everything and regretting that fateful night in early January when I broke up with Melinda. I then thought of the first time Aaron and Melinda hooked up. It was I who had led Melinda into Aaron's arms last year, and in essence, I had led her back to him by breaking up with her. If I hadn't broken up with her, we would've still been together and I wouldn't be feeling the way I was feeling at that moment.
Around 4:00 PM, I headed to the synagogue to work for a couple hours. My dad wasn't in the office that day, so my only responsibility was to take down messages for him and leave them on his desk. After I had been working for about an hour, I got a call that took me by surprise.
"Rabbi Maccabbi's office, Michael speaking."
"Hi."
Are you as shocked as I was when I heard her voice?
"Hi. What's up?"
"I went to your house, but you weren't there. I need to talk to you in person."
"Okay. Well, I'll be here for a while. I have the office to myself if you wanna come and talk."
"Okay. See you in 15?"
"Sure."
15 minutes later, she was standing in the doorway of the office.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"You wanted to talk. Let's talk."
She closed the door and sat down.
"I shouldn't have slapped you yesterday."
"Oh, that's what this is about. Well, I was okay. It didn't hurt that much."
"My hand-print covered the entire left side of your face."
"Yes. Yes it did."
"So I wanted to apologize."
"Eh, that's okay. Don't worry about it."
It was awkward at best. I somehow felt like she had more to say, but I wasn't sure.
"Is there more?"
"Yes. I thought about what you said, about Aaron not making big romantic gestures."
She explained to me that she went to Aaron's house the night before to talk about what I had said to her.
"Aaron, would you ever make a complete ass out of yourself just to show how much you cared?"
"Baby, you already know how much I care. Why would I need to make an ass out of myself?"
Needless to say, it wasn't the response she hoped for.
"It wasn't the response I hoped for."
"I can't imagine that it would be."
"So I ended things with him. He wasn't the right guy for me?"
"How tragic."
"I'm okay, though."
"That's good."
It was quiet. I finally spoke up.
"So you're done with Aaron now. Where does that leave us?"
"What do you think?"
"I think the ball is pretty much in your court now, Melinda."
She got up and stepped closer to me.
"Remind me, Michael, what was it that you asked me over the intercom at school?"
"I asked you if you'd go to prom with me."
"And why did you ask me if I wanted to go to prom with you?"
"Because I love you."
She kissed me.
"So, will this year's prom be better than last year's?"
I smiled.
"You bet your ass it will be."
We kissed again, this time for a longer period of time. It was a familiar sensation, one that I had truly missed. It was at that moment that, for the first time in a long while, I was completely and totally happy. I hoped that the feeling would last, for I knew at that moment that I never wanted it to end.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Something Casual in the Life of the Mac-Attack
"MAC! OH GOD, MAC!!!"
Those were the words that Dara Karpen uttered when we found ourselves in the heat of passion. This happened two weeks ago. I was feeling lonely, so I gave her a call and we met up at the synagogue of all places. Since I work there (and I happen to be the rabbi's son), I happened to have the keys to the front office. We went into my dad's office (which is where my desk is located) and she immediately began stripping down. I followed suit after I swiped everything off of my desk and we started going at it. It was probably the my hottest sexual experience of the time. The prospect of sneaking into one's place of work (a synagogue nonetheless), and just going crazy on each other. Sounds pretty appealing to me; I'm not gonna lie.
Perhaps I should give you guys a little background about Dara. We went out for a month and a half last year. We had sex only once (the night I lost my virginity) and she proceeded to break up with me to get back together with her ex-boyfriend. Aside from seeing her around school every once in a while, I hadn't really talked to her since the summer at USY Elections, when she kissed me and I denied her pleas to rekindle our old flame. When I called her two weeks ago, I was feeling nothing but pure lonliness. I had just come off of losing in the first round the West Coast USY Passover Baketball Tournament. Then a bigger blow happened when the girl I was sure to hook up with, Brittany Zieglar decided to be a hoe and hook up with a different guy. I realized how lonely I truly was, and it didn't help that Melinda and her ex-boyfriend Aaron had recently gotten back together. I felt like the lonliest guy on the face of the planet, and that's where Dara came in. I didn't wanna be alone, so I called a girl who could ease the lonliness for a little while. She was able to do exactly that.
After I successfully got her to reach the peak of pleasure, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.
"Wow, you have gotten really good since we broke up."
"I've had a lot of practice."
"I can tell."
We continued to make out, her body still pressed against mine. I kissed her neck and she began to rub her fingers through my hair. It seemed as if we were about to go in for Round 2, when all of a sudden, I heard a vibrating noise.
"Uh, that's mine."
"You brought a vibrator?"
"No, silly. It's my phone."
It continued to vibrate.
"Hold that thought, Mac."
She kissed me and then answered her phone.
"Hello? Oh, hey, Dad."
She sounded like it was a phone call from someone who she didn't want to talk to.
"I'm just, uh, hanging out with Lynn."
"Lynn? Great."
She shushed me and then continued her phone call with her dad.
"Um, yeah, I'll be home soon. Okay, bye."
She hung up.
"So is 'Lynn' my new nickname?"
"Very funny."
She kissed me playfully and began putting her clothes on.
"Come on, how about another round?"
She kissed me again and I touched her skin softly.
"I really gotta go, Mac. But we'll do this again."
We both got dressed, kissing sporadically throughout the clothing process.
"So, quick question," I said before kissing her again. "Where does this leave us? Do we pick up from where we left off a year ago?"
I began kissing her neck as she spoke.
"I think it might be a good idea to keep it causal, Mac. I mean, we're not the same people we were a year ago. And you're going to Florida, and I'm going to NYU in the Fall. I mean, we probably shouldn't complicate our lives too much before we move away."
It was one of the most brilliant ideas I'd ever heard.
"I completely agree. A casual relationship might be what we need."
I went in to kiss her and she stopped my lips with her finger.
"Let's not call it a relationship, Mac."
I thought for a second, and she was right. It wouldn't make sense to call it a relationship. Relationship means Commitment, and trust me, Commitment was not what I was all about right now.
"Sounds good to me. We're just having fun."
"Exactly."
We kissed one more time before she left. I left ten minutes later. I hadn't had sex since December, and that felt like a long time. I wondered if there would be more to this casual thing than just the physical aspect, but I made the decision there and then that if the courtship was only physical, that would be just fine.
At school the following Monday, I told Ben about my new situation.
"Dara? Really?"
"Hey, I thought you liked Dara."
"Nobody liked Dara, Mac. And nobody liked the way you were when you two were dating."
"What?"
"Yeah. The whole thing was so immature. I mean, it wasn't even two weeks before you told her you loved her."
"It had so been two weeks before I told her that...it was exactly two weeks."
"You're not helping yourself here."
Just then Dara entered the school and approached me. Not even acknowledging Ben, she whispered in my ear and then walked away without another word.
"Well, I know what I'm doing after school."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"Her!"
"You're setting yourself up for a big fall, Mac-Attack."
After school, while I was sleeping with my former girlfriend, Ben was on his computer reading an e-mail from his current girlfriend, Sam, who had recently moved to Israel.
Those were the words that Dara Karpen uttered when we found ourselves in the heat of passion. This happened two weeks ago. I was feeling lonely, so I gave her a call and we met up at the synagogue of all places. Since I work there (and I happen to be the rabbi's son), I happened to have the keys to the front office. We went into my dad's office (which is where my desk is located) and she immediately began stripping down. I followed suit after I swiped everything off of my desk and we started going at it. It was probably the my hottest sexual experience of the time. The prospect of sneaking into one's place of work (a synagogue nonetheless), and just going crazy on each other. Sounds pretty appealing to me; I'm not gonna lie.
Perhaps I should give you guys a little background about Dara. We went out for a month and a half last year. We had sex only once (the night I lost my virginity) and she proceeded to break up with me to get back together with her ex-boyfriend. Aside from seeing her around school every once in a while, I hadn't really talked to her since the summer at USY Elections, when she kissed me and I denied her pleas to rekindle our old flame. When I called her two weeks ago, I was feeling nothing but pure lonliness. I had just come off of losing in the first round the West Coast USY Passover Baketball Tournament. Then a bigger blow happened when the girl I was sure to hook up with, Brittany Zieglar decided to be a hoe and hook up with a different guy. I realized how lonely I truly was, and it didn't help that Melinda and her ex-boyfriend Aaron had recently gotten back together. I felt like the lonliest guy on the face of the planet, and that's where Dara came in. I didn't wanna be alone, so I called a girl who could ease the lonliness for a little while. She was able to do exactly that.
After I successfully got her to reach the peak of pleasure, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.
"Wow, you have gotten really good since we broke up."
"I've had a lot of practice."
"I can tell."
We continued to make out, her body still pressed against mine. I kissed her neck and she began to rub her fingers through my hair. It seemed as if we were about to go in for Round 2, when all of a sudden, I heard a vibrating noise.
"Uh, that's mine."
"You brought a vibrator?"
"No, silly. It's my phone."
It continued to vibrate.
"Hold that thought, Mac."
She kissed me and then answered her phone.
"Hello? Oh, hey, Dad."
She sounded like it was a phone call from someone who she didn't want to talk to.
"I'm just, uh, hanging out with Lynn."
"Lynn? Great."
She shushed me and then continued her phone call with her dad.
"Um, yeah, I'll be home soon. Okay, bye."
She hung up.
"So is 'Lynn' my new nickname?"
"Very funny."
She kissed me playfully and began putting her clothes on.
"Come on, how about another round?"
She kissed me again and I touched her skin softly.
"I really gotta go, Mac. But we'll do this again."
We both got dressed, kissing sporadically throughout the clothing process.
"So, quick question," I said before kissing her again. "Where does this leave us? Do we pick up from where we left off a year ago?"
I began kissing her neck as she spoke.
"I think it might be a good idea to keep it causal, Mac. I mean, we're not the same people we were a year ago. And you're going to Florida, and I'm going to NYU in the Fall. I mean, we probably shouldn't complicate our lives too much before we move away."
It was one of the most brilliant ideas I'd ever heard.
"I completely agree. A casual relationship might be what we need."
I went in to kiss her and she stopped my lips with her finger.
"Let's not call it a relationship, Mac."
I thought for a second, and she was right. It wouldn't make sense to call it a relationship. Relationship means Commitment, and trust me, Commitment was not what I was all about right now.
"Sounds good to me. We're just having fun."
"Exactly."
We kissed one more time before she left. I left ten minutes later. I hadn't had sex since December, and that felt like a long time. I wondered if there would be more to this casual thing than just the physical aspect, but I made the decision there and then that if the courtship was only physical, that would be just fine.
At school the following Monday, I told Ben about my new situation.
"Dara? Really?"
"Hey, I thought you liked Dara."
"Nobody liked Dara, Mac. And nobody liked the way you were when you two were dating."
"What?"
"Yeah. The whole thing was so immature. I mean, it wasn't even two weeks before you told her you loved her."
"It had so been two weeks before I told her that...it was exactly two weeks."
"You're not helping yourself here."
Just then Dara entered the school and approached me. Not even acknowledging Ben, she whispered in my ear and then walked away without another word.
"Well, I know what I'm doing after school."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"Her!"
"You're setting yourself up for a big fall, Mac-Attack."
After school, while I was sleeping with my former girlfriend, Ben was on his computer reading an e-mail from his current girlfriend, Sam, who had recently moved to Israel.
Dear Ben,
Israel is wonderful. I'm learning Hebrew right now, which is surprisingly easy to pick up on. I found out that I actually won't be an official member of the Israel Defense Force until August, so I'm going to have an entire summer to enjoy the wonderful oasis. I miss you and will try to write
often.
Love,
Sam
"I hate this," Ben said to himself. He decided to occupy himself by looking at all sorts of Israeli tourism sites. I have no idea how this could be helpful, but people have their own ways of coping with unfortunate situations.
"What's this?"
He saw an adveritsement that really caught his attention. It said: Study in the Homeland, Live in the Homeland, Be in the Homeland. Apply to the Jerusalem University for American Students Today!
"I wonder."
He clicked on the link and began filling out the application.
The next week, there was a USY lounge. This was when Ben told me, Melinda and Aaron about his crazy idea.
"Israel, Ben?"
"You've never even been there."
"I know, I know. But Sam's there."
"And that's a reason to commit to spending the next four years of your life in a foreign country?"
"Mac, it's the Jewish homeland. What better place? Plus, I'm not just committing the next four years. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life there."
We all looked at him blankly.
"Well, I wanna spend the rest of my life with her, Mac. If she's gonna be in Israel forever, I ought to be there too."
"Ben, you're not even 18 yet!"
"Just because you have commitment issues doesn't mean we all should, Mac."
As if on cue, my commitment issues were thrown in my face as Dara walked into the youth lounge.
"Do my eyes decieve me?"
"Nope. Hey, Dara!"
She kissed me and sat down on my lap. I was surprised by the PDA, but I went along with it.
"Hi."
"Hi."
In front of everyone, she stuck her entire tongue down my throat. Without another word, she got up and walked away.
"How long has this been going on?"
"Not long."
"Are you guys back together?"
"Not really."
"It's casual."
Melinda looked at Ben.
"You knew about this?"
"Of course he did."
"You should've told me."
"The way you told me about you and Aaron?"
And then it was awkward.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure."
We went outside to talk in private.
"What's your point with this whole thing, Michael?"
"What whole thing?"
"Getting back together with Dara."
"We're not back together. We're just having fun."
"So you're sleeping with her."
"There is sex involved; yes."
"Wow."
"And who are you to judge, Melinda? If you recall, about seven months ago, we were doing the same thing. Just keeping it casual because you didn't wanna commit. Well, the difference this time is that neither me nor Dara want a commitment!"
Melinda was speechless.
"I'm sorry. That was--"
She waved it off.
"You know, Michael, you really should think before you speak."
"Melinda, I--"
"Find me when you become mature enough to carry on a real conversation."
She walked away, and for the rest of the evening, I couldn't get the exchange out of my head.
I began to start questioning my current romantic circumstances. I revisited my conversation with Melinda over and over again. I then flashed back to my relationship with Melinda; the good times and the not so good times. I backtracked to the couple months that we were just sleeping together, not unlike what I had going with Dara. I then went back even farther, to the six weeks that Dara and I spent together a year ago and how great everything seemed. However, "seemed" is the key word. As great as everything seemed, it really wasn't. I was her rebound guy, and she was my way of proving to the world that I could change my womanizing ways. I can probably make the argument that it wasn't even real. I mean, I can't think of too many conversations that we had. To be honest, I don't even know if she had any siblings, if she had any living grandparents, or if she was close to her mom and dad. I had told her I loved her without really knowing her, and what's worse is that she reciprocated the feelings. All she had known about me was that I was a womanizer and that I wasn't extremely close to my family. Both aspects of my life had changed tremendously since then, so in retrospect, she really didn't know anything about me at all. Then I thought: I may not have loved her, but I liked her a lot and saw potential; maybe we should pick things up from where we left off, only this time we could really get to know each other and have a real relationship. After a few days of thinking, I knew what I needed to do.
This brings us to yesterday. I knocked on Dara's door, and she opened the door wearing nothing but a t-shirt and red underwear.
"Mac, uh, what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
"This isn't really a good time."
"Hey, baby, is that the pizza?"
I then understood why she was in her underwear.
"Who's here, Dara?"
A shirtless guy with long, wavy blonde hair appeared at the door and answered the question.
"Is that the Mac-Attack?"
"Mac, you know Danny McCormack, right?"
"Uh, yeah. Freshman Physics, right?"
"Right!"
He put his hand out, and not knowing what else to do, I shook it.
"So, are you the pizza delivery guy?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, good to see ya."
"Yeah. Likewise."
Danny McCormack left the doorway, leaving me and my half-naked ex-girlfriend to talk.
"Mac, I can--"
"Hey, no need to explain. It's casual, right? We can see whoever we want."
"So what's the problem, then?"
"There isn't. I'm just afraid I'm not gonna talk about what I was gonna talk about."
"And what was that?"
"It doesn't matter, Dara. What I'm gonna say now is that I thought this would be cool and that it would be fun, but it's not anymore, and it won't be because I'm not the type of guy who can just keep things casual anymore. I'm a changed man. I have been for a long time."
"So it's over between the two of us, for good?"
"Dara, if there's one thing I learned from these past couple weeks, it's that nothing is ever over for good."
"What does that mean, though, Mac?"
"It means that I'll see you around, Dara."
On that note, I walked away from Dara and from the entire situation. I was disappointed, but I was also relieved. The more I think about it, things would've never worked out between the two of us, and quite frankly, she wouldn't have wanted more than what we had. I got in my car with pride, and though I was ready to just go home, I had one more stop to make.
"Michael?"
"Hi. Can I come in?"
"Sure."
I came in to her otherwise empty house.
"Did you want to sit down?"
"Sure."
I sat down and she sat down next to me.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Well, for starters, I ended things with Dara."
"Oh. Wow."
"I guess I realized that I'm not the type of guy that can just see someone casually anymore."
"So you're all grown up."
"Well, not exactly."
I took a pause before continuing.
"I've been acting very immature lately."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, I've been immature about everything, Melinda. The whole Brittany Zieglar thing, you and Aaron getting back together, the way I broke up with you a few months back. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I understand that I haven't been handling things the way I should."
Melinda was taken aback by my sudden grasp of reality.
"I'm deeply moved by your revelation, Michael...and to be honest, I'm quite shocked."
"Tell me about it. I mean, I spent the last few days just reflecting on the past year, starting with my relationship with Dara and ending with my relationship with you. It got pretty messy at times, to be honest. All those feelings and memories flying around, going hand-in-hand."
"I'll bet."
"And then I thought, maybe I ought to give things with Dara another shot. Like, a real relationship, like what you and I had. But then I showed up to her house to find that she was interested in no such thing."
"Oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be, because then I realized something else."
"What was that?"
I took a deep breath before I revealed to Melinda what had been my biggest self-discovery of the day.
"I'm still in love with you, Melinda."
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Sports and Romance in the Life of the Mac-Attack (Part 2)
There's a feeling that a man gets when something important is on the line. It starts in the gut, and then eventually takes over the entire system until the man's entire body is both so cold that he's shivering, and so hot that he's sweating. I know that this was the feeling I had when I looked at the scoreboard right before half-time and saw that we were down by 16 points.
I should've known that putting Ben and Sam on the same rotation while they were in a lovers' quarell would be a bad idea. I'm gonna call that Coaching Mistake #1.
Coaching Mistake #2 was taking Ben out of the game and putting myself in to take his place. As it turns out, Sam was mad at me for making Coaching Mistake #1, therefore she wouldn't pass to me, especially when I was open to make a great shot.
Coaching Mistake #3 may have been the biggest mistake of all. I called a time-out and took Sam out of the game, leaving her harrassing Ben as he was trying to coach from the bench. Ben was distracted, and therefore couldn't think straight. I played for the rest of the half, but the damage had already been done. Here we were, facing our rivals from Vegas, with a score of 34-18 at the end of the first half of the first round of the West Coast USY Passover Basketball Championship Tournament. I couldn't believe the immaturity of my head coach and our best player. This is why I don't agree with office-relationships.
"Did anyone else see the scoreboard?"
Everyone was silent as I addressed everyone in the locker room during halftime.
"That wasn't rhetorical!"
Everyone was still silent.
"We are losing! Thing is that we aren't losing to Team Vegas. We're losing to ourselves! It's because certain people are being selfish!"
Everybody looked immediately at Ben and Sam.
"I don't know about you guys, but I want this goddamn game. We all know that it's gonna be San Diego in the finals; they're the ones who are favored to win the tournament. Don't you wanna be the ones to beat them? But we have to get past these assholes first, and that's not gonna happen if you keep playing the way you're playing!"
Nobody said a word.
"CAN YOU BE BETTER THAN THIS?"
"YES, COACH!"
"Then prove it to me!"
Everyone started walking out of the locker room...everyone except for Ben and Sam.
"You guys are staying in here."
"What?"
"Obviously, neither of you are in any condition to be playing basketball. Until you guys can change your attitudes and realize that it's not about you, you guys are benched."
I started walking off.
"Mac!"
"What?"
"It's not exactly your place to bench us. I'm the head coach."
"You're the head coach?"
"That's right."
"Then start fucking acting like one!"
I walked out and tipped our team escorts Gahl Sinai and Rivka Pasternak to ensure that neither Ben nor Sam left that locker room until they could come up with some sort of agreement.
In the meantime, we continued to get trampled on. I coached from the bench mostly, but when the lead extended to 40-18, I had to step in. I was able to score five points right off the bat and attract a foul, in which I made both free throws. However, by the time the fourth quarter came around, the score was 42-25, a seventeen point defecit.
Meanwhile, back in the locker room, Ben and Sam decided to resolve their issue by not talking at all. Ben broke the silence probably as I was about to make my second free throw.
"When did you make the decision that you'd be moving to Israel?"
"It's always been my plan. My mother's side of the family is from Israel. I've spent practically half my life in that country. I love it there."
"Well, a little heads-up would've been nice. You know, before I decided to fall in love with you."
"I didn't know how to tell you. Plus, when we got together, I didn't know it would be a long-term thing. I figured we'd just have fun. But then I started having real feelings for you, feelings that were even stronger than the ones I had for Steve."
"Well, I've never felt one tenth of what I feel for you for anyone."
"You know I love you, Ben."
"Not enough, though. Not enough to make you stay."
"I was never gonna stay. I just didn't know how to tell you."
"So you waited until a week before you were about to leave to tell me."
"It was as good a time as any."
"We had just had sex! Really good sex!"
"At least we were both relaxed when I broke the news."
Ben was about to say something back, but he could only bring himself to laugh. This caused a chain reaction that made Sam laugh. Pretty soon, there was no talking. Just the sound of laughing so hard that tears were coming down both their faces. Gahl and Rivka heard the laughter and figured that the two must've come up with some sort of agreement, as they let the two out of the locker room.
It was two minutes into the fourth quarter, and we were down by fifteen points, when Ben and Sam approached the bench.
"I take it you two will start acting like teammates."
"Yes, Coach."
"You betcha."
I looked at them, skeptically but then trustfully.
"Then get out there. There isn't much time."
With Ben and Sam out there, the team turned the heat up and played solid defense. They also drew a few critical fouls that put us within five points of Team Vegas with two minutes left in the game.
I called a time-out when the clock said 1:42.
"Okay, I like how this is working right now, but I'm gonna change it up a little bit. Bobby, take a seat. I'm gonna put myself in the game."
I looked at Ben and Sam.
"Let's take these guys down. Five points. We can do it."
The game resumed, and right off the bat, Ben was able to set me up for a three-pointer. The clock said 1:36 when we were down by just two.
Team Vegas got the ball back, and while our defense was strong, their offense was persistent and they scored another two points. When we got the ball back, they took it right back and attracted a foul. It was none other than Steve Schuckman, the biggest jerk in West Coast USY, who was called to the line to take two free throws, both of which he swooshed. With 1:05 left, we were down by four.
The last minute of the game was close. We'd score, they'd score, we'd attract fouls and miss our free throws, they'd attract fouls and make their free throws. With ten seconds left, we found ourselves down by two. With seven seconds left, we attracted a foul. It was me who had to take the free throws. I made the first one, putting us down by just one.
I knew that the best strategy would be to miss the second shot and trust that someone on my team would get the rebound to score the winning two points.
My plan worked, or so it seemed. I missed the shot, but there was a struggle for the rebound. Joey Gold of Team Vegas was the one who ended up with the ball, and with four seconds left, he hurled the ball down the court. It ended up out of bounds, of course, and we got the ball back, but it was with one second left.
The fact of the matter is that we lost that game. It wasn't for lack of talent, lack of heart, or lack of a good fight. It was simply because we didn't play like a team when it really counted. Strangely enough, I wasn't upset about the loss. As that buzzer rang and I looked at each individual face of my teammates, I realized that the numbers on the scoreboard didn't mean a thing. In the past few months, we had come so far and had really come together as a team. I was proud of them, as any good coach should be.
As we started walking to the locker room, we saw Team Vegas celebrating the victory.
"Let them have their celebration," I said to Ben.
Once we were back in the locker room, Ben and I decided to give our final notes.
"It was one hell of a season, guys. One hell of a season."
"We overcame a lot of adversity, but we also had a lot of fun. I just want you guys to know how proud we were to have served as your coaches this season."
"Now, with that said, we don't go home until Sunday morning. So please enjoy yourselves for the rest of this trip. Tomorrow afternoon, if you guys want, we can all go watch the Los Angeles A-Team take on Maccabbi San Diego."
Everybody groaned, obviously still upset about the loss.
"Hey hey hey! There will be none of that."
"You guys gave it a good run."
Just then, Gahl and Rivka entered the locker room, obviously to inform us that we needed to get out of there.
"Okay, well, that's all we have to say. Grab your gear and get out of here. I'll see you all tomorrow."
Still moping, the team picked up their stuff and left the locker room. Sam left, but Ben stayed.
"I feel like it's somehow my fault that we lost this game."
"Don't blame yourself. I made some coaching moves that Mike Kryzewski would've frowned upon."
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you didn't let me and Sam play at the beginning of the half."
"What did you guys talk about?"
"We didn't...we just laughed a lot."
"Well, I guess that's--something."
"I have a feeling the conversation isn't over yet."
"Good luck."
Gahl and Rivka entered the locker room all the way.
"I hate to interrupt, but you guys have to continue this conversation outside. The custodians are about to come in and clean."
"And we definitely don't want to waste their time."
We left the locker room, and Gahl and Rivka followed us. In fact, they followed us all the way downstairs where the fans were waiting.
There was only one fan in particular that I cared to see at that point, however. The beautiful Brittany Zieglar of Las Vegas. She was probably the only person from Las Vegas who wasn't rooting for her home team.
However, Brittany wasn't the first person I saw. The first person I saw was none other than my ex-girlfriend Melinda.
"It was a great game, Michael."
"Thanks. I appreciate that."
Not that I didn't enjoy being around my ex, I would've preferred to have been around Brittany, a girl who was actually interested in me.
"I'm sorry you guys lost, but at least it was close."
"Yeah, I was upset--have you seen Brittany Zieglar anywhere?"
"Yeah, I saw her during the game."
"Did you see her after the game?"
"I saw a lot of people after the game."
"Hey, Mac!"
The next thing I knew, I was being hugged by Melinda's current boyfriend Aaron Youngston, a guy who I wasn't too fond of.
"Hi, Aaron. Listen, guys, I really need to find Brittany."
"Brittany Zieglar?"
"No, the late Brittany Murphy."
"Well, she's buried at Forrest Lawn Memorial Park."
"Babe, I love you, but it's a little creepy that you know that."
"I'm talking about Brittany Zieglar!"
"Why didn't you say so?"
"I did!"
"Take it easy, man. I saw her right after the game."
"Where did she go?"
"I don't know. I saw her walking outside with Schuckman."
"Schuckman?"
"Yeah, you know, the player-coach of Team Vegas."
"I know who Schuckman is, Aaron."
"Oh. Okay."
Aaron decided it would be best to walk away. He could tell I was a little confused and upset.
"Okay, Michael, just think. Just because they were walking, it doesn't mean they were--"
"Scoring more than just baskets?!"
"Why don't you just call her?"
"That's not a bad idea."
"But do yourself a favor and wait until tomorrow."
"Why wait?"
"Because you may be able to think straight tomorrow. Invite her to watch the game with you tomorrow. Me and Aaron will be there!"
"Yeah, because that's what I wanna be doing tomorrow. Watching a basketball game with you and Aaron."
I walked away, upset and unsure. I didn't know how to feel about the fact that the girl who was supposed to end up with me ended up with a jerk like Steve Schuckman. It was almost as bad as when my ex-girlfriend Dara left me to go back to her ex-boyfriend at the end of junior year. I couldn't think straight.
West Coast USY decided to put all of the USYers up in a hotel right near the JCC. I roomed with Ben and told him about my predicament.
"I wish that I had something better to say other than: 'I'm sorry Schuckman may have stolen your girl'."
"She's not my girl, Ben. She's just a girl."
"She's a girl that you like."
"What can I say, Ben? She caught my attention."
"Then perhaps you need to talk to her. But I agree with Melinda. Wait until tomorrow."
"What is with all this waiting?"
"At least you can wait. My girlfriend is leaving for Israel on Monday. She won't even be home for 24 hours before she relocates!"
"What are you gonna do about that anyway, Ben?"
"Mac, what can I do? Seriously, I love her, but she's moving to a different continent."
"And you really love her."
"Yeah. Losing her is killing me!"
"I wish I could help, Ben."
"When you decided you were moving to the other side of the country, you had to make the decision knowing that the woman you loved would be left behind. How did you do that? Does it get easier?"
"To be honest, Ben, Melinda wasn't a deciding factor. I knew I wanted to go to Florida and that's all that mattered to me. I mean, it was a lifelong dream."
"Just like it was a lifelong dream for Sam to go to Israel."
"Well, there you go."
It was quiet.
"I'm gonna try and get some sleep, man."
"Alright. Goodnight."
Trying to go to sleep was exactly what I did. I couldn't sleep at all, and the worst part was that I didn't understand why. It wasn't like Brittany and I were an item. We'd only kissed a couple times, and it was awkward both times. But there was just something about her that made me desire her affection. I wanted her so badly, and I somehow felt that I had missed my chance. I just didn't understand why.
The next morning in the hotel lobby, I saw the girl who I'd been thinking of all night.
"Mac-Attack!"
Brittany approached me, hugged me and kissed my cheek.
"Hey. I hoped to see you yesterday."
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."
"What happened to you?"
Before she could answer, a real creep answered for her.
"Hey, Brit. Last night was incredible."
He began kissing her neck. She seemed disgusted and regretful, but it didn't change the fact that she had probably done something the night before that would hurt me.
"Well, now I know what happened to you yesterday."
"Mac, I can explain."
"I think he just did."
I walked away, hoping to save my dignity.
"Mac!"
I ignored her as I left the hotel to go to the JCC where I met up with Jake Josephson to shoot some hoops and get him loose for his upcoming game. He was the head coach of the Los Angeles A-Team, and it would take a miracle for them to beat San Diego.
"Listen, Mac, I appreciate you wanting to loosen me up, but I'm not expecting to win."
"See, Jake, that's the problem. You gotta expect something if you want it to happen."
"Well, it would be nice to beat these guys."
"You have my full support now that my guys are out of the tournament."
I took a shot from the three point line and swooshed it.
"Nice shot."
"Thank you."
"So did you end up seeing Brittany Zieglar last night?"
"That's definitely not something I wanna get into right now."
I missed my next shot and Jake grabbed the ball.
"Come on, Mac-Attack, talk to me."
He made his shot.
"Okay, I'll level with you. She went out with Schuckman last night instead."
"Steve Schuckman?"
"Is there a different Schuckman?"
"Yeah...his dad."
I laughed.
A couple hours later, his escort, Max Altman, came to inform him of his team's arrival.
"Duty calls."
"We'll see you after the game, Mac-Attack!"
"Alright. Good luck!"
I spent the game sitting next to Ben and Sam, who were very obviously sweeping their issues under the rug.
"Go Jake!"
"By the way, Mac, I'm sorry about Brittany."
"Good news travels fast."
"Sorry, Mac, it slipped out."
"It's fine, Ben. Not like it's a secret or something."
The game went by fast, and the Los Angeles A-Team were actually able to win it. Jake was very happy afterward, and a huge crowd was surrounding him. There was one person I was surprised to see congratulating him.
"You did good, bud."
"Thanks, Tara!"
I suppose that he and his ex-girlfriend Tara Hudson had reconciled as friends.
I headed back to the hotel as soon as the game was over and didn't leave my hotel room for the next couple days. I didn't even join everyone for Shabbat on Friday night, and that's generally my favorite part of USY events. I finally left my room on Saturday night to go watch Jake win the championship.
I got to the JCC early. Gahl and Rivka immediately sat down next to me.
"How are you, Mac?"
"We haven't seen you in a couple days."
"Let me ask you guys something."
"Okay."
"Sure."
"My team is out of the tournament. Now, I love you guys and you guys are two of my very good friends...but you guys don't need to escort me anymore. Go do couple things."
They laughed and Rivka whispered something in Gahl's ear. She left right afterward.
"What was that all about?"
"She informed me that the locker room will be empty as soon as the first half starts."
"Oh. I see."
It was then that the teams entered the court.
"That's my cue. See ya later!"
I was in a very good mood at the start of the game, especially when Ben and Sam arrived. We all hung out for most of the game. It was the third quarter when Brittany found us and sat down next to me.
"Mac, I really have to talk to you."
"Okay, Brittany. Talk."
"Not here."
"Then where?"
She took my hand and led me to the JCC lobby where we would have a discussion that I didn't want to have.
"Okay, Brittany. What's up?"
"About Steve--"
"Wasn't that a Sandra Bullock movie?"
I use humor as a defense mechanism sometimes. She disregarded the comment.
"This has been in the works for a while."
"Yeah, but so have we. I mean, I've talked to you every day since February. Doesn't that count for something?"
"Yeah. But I've actually seen Steve every day. We're in the same USY chapter. And we spoke before he went to the locker room before the game and he said a lot of sweet things. And then when he won--"
"So you wanted a winner."
"Mac--"
"Brittany, I took the loss pretty hard. But knowing you'd be there after the game made it worthwhile. Except you weren't there. My ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend were there, however, which made me feel that much better!"
"It's not like I like Steve more than I like you. I still wanna hang out with you."
I looked at her and realized something had changed about myself. Without a word, I began to walk away.
"Whatever happened to the Mac-Attack that would hook up with two or three girls in one USY weekend?"
I looked back at her.
"I guess I'm just not that guy anymore."
When I got back to the stands, there wasn't a whole lot of time left in the 4th quarter (25 seconds to be exact), and the Los Angeles A-Team were down by a single point.
"This looks familiar."
"Come on Jake!!!"
15 seconds left, and then 10. The A-Team was able to keep posession of the ball, but they kept missing shots. Soon, there were two seconds left. Jake attracted a critical foul.
He approached the free throw line to make two shots. He made the first one. They were now tied with San Diego.
Jake was obviously nervous. In fact, I could see the lake of sweat surrounding him on the floor. Suddenly, a voice was heard that calmed his nerves.
"You can do it, Jake!"
On that note, Jake took his final shot and made it. The Los Angeles A-Team were the Passover Tournament Champions!
There was a mixed reaction from the crowd. Many of the fans were happy that Schuckman and Team Vegas got beat, but many of the San Diego fans hoped that the team that beat their team wouldn't succeed.
A beautiful gold trophy was presented to Jake and he held it up with pride. Ben and I both smiled and cheered the loudest. There wasn't a single person on earth who deserved that trophy more than our friend did.
Our flight back to Phoenix was early the next morning. Ben and I sat next to each other for the first part of the flight, until Sam came over to finish a conversation that needed to be had.
"Mac, can I switch with you for a little while? I need to talk to Ben."
"Oh, yeah. Of course."
As soon as I left, the two began talking.
"Ben, I need you to look at me."
He did as she asked.
"I'm leaving tomorrow night for Israel, so I need to say this now."
"I'm listening."
"I love you now. I won't stop loving you, and I need you to know that just because I'll be far away, you'll be on my mind 24/7."
"I love you too, Sam. You're the most incredible woman I've ever known."
They kissed. She then switched back with me.
When we arrived at the airport, the two exchanged glances as they parted ways. I believe that they knew in their hearts that it wouldn't be the last time they exchanged glances, and I even think that they felt that the relationship wasn't completely over.
I checked my phone and saw a text message from Brittany Zieglar that said "For what it's worth, I'm sorry". I then looked at Aaron and Melinda, two people who were obviously happy. I realized one thing about myself: I wasn't happy being alone. Maybe the reason I was so interested in Brittany Zieglar was because it was a chance to have someone, at least for a couple days.
Maybe it was the fact that I felt so alone on the drive back home from the airport that I made the phone call that I did.
"Can we meet somewhere?"
I drove to Temple Beth Zion, the place that we first met. I couldn't describe the feeling of uncertainty as I parked and saw her standing there.
"Hello, Mac."
"Hi, Dara."
I walked up to her feeling like I was doing the wrong thing. Her lips pressed against mine, and it felt anything but right.
But it was better than the feeling of loneliness.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
I should've known that putting Ben and Sam on the same rotation while they were in a lovers' quarell would be a bad idea. I'm gonna call that Coaching Mistake #1.
Coaching Mistake #2 was taking Ben out of the game and putting myself in to take his place. As it turns out, Sam was mad at me for making Coaching Mistake #1, therefore she wouldn't pass to me, especially when I was open to make a great shot.
Coaching Mistake #3 may have been the biggest mistake of all. I called a time-out and took Sam out of the game, leaving her harrassing Ben as he was trying to coach from the bench. Ben was distracted, and therefore couldn't think straight. I played for the rest of the half, but the damage had already been done. Here we were, facing our rivals from Vegas, with a score of 34-18 at the end of the first half of the first round of the West Coast USY Passover Basketball Championship Tournament. I couldn't believe the immaturity of my head coach and our best player. This is why I don't agree with office-relationships.
"Did anyone else see the scoreboard?"
Everyone was silent as I addressed everyone in the locker room during halftime.
"That wasn't rhetorical!"
Everyone was still silent.
"We are losing! Thing is that we aren't losing to Team Vegas. We're losing to ourselves! It's because certain people are being selfish!"
Everybody looked immediately at Ben and Sam.
"I don't know about you guys, but I want this goddamn game. We all know that it's gonna be San Diego in the finals; they're the ones who are favored to win the tournament. Don't you wanna be the ones to beat them? But we have to get past these assholes first, and that's not gonna happen if you keep playing the way you're playing!"
Nobody said a word.
"CAN YOU BE BETTER THAN THIS?"
"YES, COACH!"
"Then prove it to me!"
Everyone started walking out of the locker room...everyone except for Ben and Sam.
"You guys are staying in here."
"What?"
"Obviously, neither of you are in any condition to be playing basketball. Until you guys can change your attitudes and realize that it's not about you, you guys are benched."
I started walking off.
"Mac!"
"What?"
"It's not exactly your place to bench us. I'm the head coach."
"You're the head coach?"
"That's right."
"Then start fucking acting like one!"
I walked out and tipped our team escorts Gahl Sinai and Rivka Pasternak to ensure that neither Ben nor Sam left that locker room until they could come up with some sort of agreement.
In the meantime, we continued to get trampled on. I coached from the bench mostly, but when the lead extended to 40-18, I had to step in. I was able to score five points right off the bat and attract a foul, in which I made both free throws. However, by the time the fourth quarter came around, the score was 42-25, a seventeen point defecit.
Meanwhile, back in the locker room, Ben and Sam decided to resolve their issue by not talking at all. Ben broke the silence probably as I was about to make my second free throw.
"When did you make the decision that you'd be moving to Israel?"
"It's always been my plan. My mother's side of the family is from Israel. I've spent practically half my life in that country. I love it there."
"Well, a little heads-up would've been nice. You know, before I decided to fall in love with you."
"I didn't know how to tell you. Plus, when we got together, I didn't know it would be a long-term thing. I figured we'd just have fun. But then I started having real feelings for you, feelings that were even stronger than the ones I had for Steve."
"Well, I've never felt one tenth of what I feel for you for anyone."
"You know I love you, Ben."
"Not enough, though. Not enough to make you stay."
"I was never gonna stay. I just didn't know how to tell you."
"So you waited until a week before you were about to leave to tell me."
"It was as good a time as any."
"We had just had sex! Really good sex!"
"At least we were both relaxed when I broke the news."
Ben was about to say something back, but he could only bring himself to laugh. This caused a chain reaction that made Sam laugh. Pretty soon, there was no talking. Just the sound of laughing so hard that tears were coming down both their faces. Gahl and Rivka heard the laughter and figured that the two must've come up with some sort of agreement, as they let the two out of the locker room.
It was two minutes into the fourth quarter, and we were down by fifteen points, when Ben and Sam approached the bench.
"I take it you two will start acting like teammates."
"Yes, Coach."
"You betcha."
I looked at them, skeptically but then trustfully.
"Then get out there. There isn't much time."
With Ben and Sam out there, the team turned the heat up and played solid defense. They also drew a few critical fouls that put us within five points of Team Vegas with two minutes left in the game.
I called a time-out when the clock said 1:42.
"Okay, I like how this is working right now, but I'm gonna change it up a little bit. Bobby, take a seat. I'm gonna put myself in the game."
I looked at Ben and Sam.
"Let's take these guys down. Five points. We can do it."
The game resumed, and right off the bat, Ben was able to set me up for a three-pointer. The clock said 1:36 when we were down by just two.
Team Vegas got the ball back, and while our defense was strong, their offense was persistent and they scored another two points. When we got the ball back, they took it right back and attracted a foul. It was none other than Steve Schuckman, the biggest jerk in West Coast USY, who was called to the line to take two free throws, both of which he swooshed. With 1:05 left, we were down by four.
The last minute of the game was close. We'd score, they'd score, we'd attract fouls and miss our free throws, they'd attract fouls and make their free throws. With ten seconds left, we found ourselves down by two. With seven seconds left, we attracted a foul. It was me who had to take the free throws. I made the first one, putting us down by just one.
I knew that the best strategy would be to miss the second shot and trust that someone on my team would get the rebound to score the winning two points.
My plan worked, or so it seemed. I missed the shot, but there was a struggle for the rebound. Joey Gold of Team Vegas was the one who ended up with the ball, and with four seconds left, he hurled the ball down the court. It ended up out of bounds, of course, and we got the ball back, but it was with one second left.
The fact of the matter is that we lost that game. It wasn't for lack of talent, lack of heart, or lack of a good fight. It was simply because we didn't play like a team when it really counted. Strangely enough, I wasn't upset about the loss. As that buzzer rang and I looked at each individual face of my teammates, I realized that the numbers on the scoreboard didn't mean a thing. In the past few months, we had come so far and had really come together as a team. I was proud of them, as any good coach should be.
As we started walking to the locker room, we saw Team Vegas celebrating the victory.
"Let them have their celebration," I said to Ben.
Once we were back in the locker room, Ben and I decided to give our final notes.
"It was one hell of a season, guys. One hell of a season."
"We overcame a lot of adversity, but we also had a lot of fun. I just want you guys to know how proud we were to have served as your coaches this season."
"Now, with that said, we don't go home until Sunday morning. So please enjoy yourselves for the rest of this trip. Tomorrow afternoon, if you guys want, we can all go watch the Los Angeles A-Team take on Maccabbi San Diego."
Everybody groaned, obviously still upset about the loss.
"Hey hey hey! There will be none of that."
"You guys gave it a good run."
Just then, Gahl and Rivka entered the locker room, obviously to inform us that we needed to get out of there.
"Okay, well, that's all we have to say. Grab your gear and get out of here. I'll see you all tomorrow."
Still moping, the team picked up their stuff and left the locker room. Sam left, but Ben stayed.
"I feel like it's somehow my fault that we lost this game."
"Don't blame yourself. I made some coaching moves that Mike Kryzewski would've frowned upon."
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you didn't let me and Sam play at the beginning of the half."
"What did you guys talk about?"
"We didn't...we just laughed a lot."
"Well, I guess that's--something."
"I have a feeling the conversation isn't over yet."
"Good luck."
Gahl and Rivka entered the locker room all the way.
"I hate to interrupt, but you guys have to continue this conversation outside. The custodians are about to come in and clean."
"And we definitely don't want to waste their time."
We left the locker room, and Gahl and Rivka followed us. In fact, they followed us all the way downstairs where the fans were waiting.
There was only one fan in particular that I cared to see at that point, however. The beautiful Brittany Zieglar of Las Vegas. She was probably the only person from Las Vegas who wasn't rooting for her home team.
However, Brittany wasn't the first person I saw. The first person I saw was none other than my ex-girlfriend Melinda.
"It was a great game, Michael."
"Thanks. I appreciate that."
Not that I didn't enjoy being around my ex, I would've preferred to have been around Brittany, a girl who was actually interested in me.
"I'm sorry you guys lost, but at least it was close."
"Yeah, I was upset--have you seen Brittany Zieglar anywhere?"
"Yeah, I saw her during the game."
"Did you see her after the game?"
"I saw a lot of people after the game."
"Hey, Mac!"
The next thing I knew, I was being hugged by Melinda's current boyfriend Aaron Youngston, a guy who I wasn't too fond of.
"Hi, Aaron. Listen, guys, I really need to find Brittany."
"Brittany Zieglar?"
"No, the late Brittany Murphy."
"Well, she's buried at Forrest Lawn Memorial Park."
"Babe, I love you, but it's a little creepy that you know that."
"I'm talking about Brittany Zieglar!"
"Why didn't you say so?"
"I did!"
"Take it easy, man. I saw her right after the game."
"Where did she go?"
"I don't know. I saw her walking outside with Schuckman."
"Schuckman?"
"Yeah, you know, the player-coach of Team Vegas."
"I know who Schuckman is, Aaron."
"Oh. Okay."
Aaron decided it would be best to walk away. He could tell I was a little confused and upset.
"Okay, Michael, just think. Just because they were walking, it doesn't mean they were--"
"Scoring more than just baskets?!"
"Why don't you just call her?"
"That's not a bad idea."
"But do yourself a favor and wait until tomorrow."
"Why wait?"
"Because you may be able to think straight tomorrow. Invite her to watch the game with you tomorrow. Me and Aaron will be there!"
"Yeah, because that's what I wanna be doing tomorrow. Watching a basketball game with you and Aaron."
I walked away, upset and unsure. I didn't know how to feel about the fact that the girl who was supposed to end up with me ended up with a jerk like Steve Schuckman. It was almost as bad as when my ex-girlfriend Dara left me to go back to her ex-boyfriend at the end of junior year. I couldn't think straight.
West Coast USY decided to put all of the USYers up in a hotel right near the JCC. I roomed with Ben and told him about my predicament.
"I wish that I had something better to say other than: 'I'm sorry Schuckman may have stolen your girl'."
"She's not my girl, Ben. She's just a girl."
"She's a girl that you like."
"What can I say, Ben? She caught my attention."
"Then perhaps you need to talk to her. But I agree with Melinda. Wait until tomorrow."
"What is with all this waiting?"
"At least you can wait. My girlfriend is leaving for Israel on Monday. She won't even be home for 24 hours before she relocates!"
"What are you gonna do about that anyway, Ben?"
"Mac, what can I do? Seriously, I love her, but she's moving to a different continent."
"And you really love her."
"Yeah. Losing her is killing me!"
"I wish I could help, Ben."
"When you decided you were moving to the other side of the country, you had to make the decision knowing that the woman you loved would be left behind. How did you do that? Does it get easier?"
"To be honest, Ben, Melinda wasn't a deciding factor. I knew I wanted to go to Florida and that's all that mattered to me. I mean, it was a lifelong dream."
"Just like it was a lifelong dream for Sam to go to Israel."
"Well, there you go."
It was quiet.
"I'm gonna try and get some sleep, man."
"Alright. Goodnight."
Trying to go to sleep was exactly what I did. I couldn't sleep at all, and the worst part was that I didn't understand why. It wasn't like Brittany and I were an item. We'd only kissed a couple times, and it was awkward both times. But there was just something about her that made me desire her affection. I wanted her so badly, and I somehow felt that I had missed my chance. I just didn't understand why.
The next morning in the hotel lobby, I saw the girl who I'd been thinking of all night.
"Mac-Attack!"
Brittany approached me, hugged me and kissed my cheek.
"Hey. I hoped to see you yesterday."
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."
"What happened to you?"
Before she could answer, a real creep answered for her.
"Hey, Brit. Last night was incredible."
He began kissing her neck. She seemed disgusted and regretful, but it didn't change the fact that she had probably done something the night before that would hurt me.
"Well, now I know what happened to you yesterday."
"Mac, I can explain."
"I think he just did."
I walked away, hoping to save my dignity.
"Mac!"
I ignored her as I left the hotel to go to the JCC where I met up with Jake Josephson to shoot some hoops and get him loose for his upcoming game. He was the head coach of the Los Angeles A-Team, and it would take a miracle for them to beat San Diego.
"Listen, Mac, I appreciate you wanting to loosen me up, but I'm not expecting to win."
"See, Jake, that's the problem. You gotta expect something if you want it to happen."
"Well, it would be nice to beat these guys."
"You have my full support now that my guys are out of the tournament."
I took a shot from the three point line and swooshed it.
"Nice shot."
"Thank you."
"So did you end up seeing Brittany Zieglar last night?"
"That's definitely not something I wanna get into right now."
I missed my next shot and Jake grabbed the ball.
"Come on, Mac-Attack, talk to me."
He made his shot.
"Okay, I'll level with you. She went out with Schuckman last night instead."
"Steve Schuckman?"
"Is there a different Schuckman?"
"Yeah...his dad."
I laughed.
A couple hours later, his escort, Max Altman, came to inform him of his team's arrival.
"Duty calls."
"We'll see you after the game, Mac-Attack!"
"Alright. Good luck!"
I spent the game sitting next to Ben and Sam, who were very obviously sweeping their issues under the rug.
"Go Jake!"
"By the way, Mac, I'm sorry about Brittany."
"Good news travels fast."
"Sorry, Mac, it slipped out."
"It's fine, Ben. Not like it's a secret or something."
The game went by fast, and the Los Angeles A-Team were actually able to win it. Jake was very happy afterward, and a huge crowd was surrounding him. There was one person I was surprised to see congratulating him.
"You did good, bud."
"Thanks, Tara!"
I suppose that he and his ex-girlfriend Tara Hudson had reconciled as friends.
I headed back to the hotel as soon as the game was over and didn't leave my hotel room for the next couple days. I didn't even join everyone for Shabbat on Friday night, and that's generally my favorite part of USY events. I finally left my room on Saturday night to go watch Jake win the championship.
I got to the JCC early. Gahl and Rivka immediately sat down next to me.
"How are you, Mac?"
"We haven't seen you in a couple days."
"Let me ask you guys something."
"Okay."
"Sure."
"My team is out of the tournament. Now, I love you guys and you guys are two of my very good friends...but you guys don't need to escort me anymore. Go do couple things."
They laughed and Rivka whispered something in Gahl's ear. She left right afterward.
"What was that all about?"
"She informed me that the locker room will be empty as soon as the first half starts."
"Oh. I see."
It was then that the teams entered the court.
"That's my cue. See ya later!"
I was in a very good mood at the start of the game, especially when Ben and Sam arrived. We all hung out for most of the game. It was the third quarter when Brittany found us and sat down next to me.
"Mac, I really have to talk to you."
"Okay, Brittany. Talk."
"Not here."
"Then where?"
She took my hand and led me to the JCC lobby where we would have a discussion that I didn't want to have.
"Okay, Brittany. What's up?"
"About Steve--"
"Wasn't that a Sandra Bullock movie?"
I use humor as a defense mechanism sometimes. She disregarded the comment.
"This has been in the works for a while."
"Yeah, but so have we. I mean, I've talked to you every day since February. Doesn't that count for something?"
"Yeah. But I've actually seen Steve every day. We're in the same USY chapter. And we spoke before he went to the locker room before the game and he said a lot of sweet things. And then when he won--"
"So you wanted a winner."
"Mac--"
"Brittany, I took the loss pretty hard. But knowing you'd be there after the game made it worthwhile. Except you weren't there. My ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend were there, however, which made me feel that much better!"
"It's not like I like Steve more than I like you. I still wanna hang out with you."
I looked at her and realized something had changed about myself. Without a word, I began to walk away.
"Whatever happened to the Mac-Attack that would hook up with two or three girls in one USY weekend?"
I looked back at her.
"I guess I'm just not that guy anymore."
When I got back to the stands, there wasn't a whole lot of time left in the 4th quarter (25 seconds to be exact), and the Los Angeles A-Team were down by a single point.
"This looks familiar."
"Come on Jake!!!"
15 seconds left, and then 10. The A-Team was able to keep posession of the ball, but they kept missing shots. Soon, there were two seconds left. Jake attracted a critical foul.
He approached the free throw line to make two shots. He made the first one. They were now tied with San Diego.
Jake was obviously nervous. In fact, I could see the lake of sweat surrounding him on the floor. Suddenly, a voice was heard that calmed his nerves.
"You can do it, Jake!"
On that note, Jake took his final shot and made it. The Los Angeles A-Team were the Passover Tournament Champions!
There was a mixed reaction from the crowd. Many of the fans were happy that Schuckman and Team Vegas got beat, but many of the San Diego fans hoped that the team that beat their team wouldn't succeed.
A beautiful gold trophy was presented to Jake and he held it up with pride. Ben and I both smiled and cheered the loudest. There wasn't a single person on earth who deserved that trophy more than our friend did.
Our flight back to Phoenix was early the next morning. Ben and I sat next to each other for the first part of the flight, until Sam came over to finish a conversation that needed to be had.
"Mac, can I switch with you for a little while? I need to talk to Ben."
"Oh, yeah. Of course."
As soon as I left, the two began talking.
"Ben, I need you to look at me."
He did as she asked.
"I'm leaving tomorrow night for Israel, so I need to say this now."
"I'm listening."
"I love you now. I won't stop loving you, and I need you to know that just because I'll be far away, you'll be on my mind 24/7."
"I love you too, Sam. You're the most incredible woman I've ever known."
They kissed. She then switched back with me.
When we arrived at the airport, the two exchanged glances as they parted ways. I believe that they knew in their hearts that it wouldn't be the last time they exchanged glances, and I even think that they felt that the relationship wasn't completely over.
I checked my phone and saw a text message from Brittany Zieglar that said "For what it's worth, I'm sorry". I then looked at Aaron and Melinda, two people who were obviously happy. I realized one thing about myself: I wasn't happy being alone. Maybe the reason I was so interested in Brittany Zieglar was because it was a chance to have someone, at least for a couple days.
Maybe it was the fact that I felt so alone on the drive back home from the airport that I made the phone call that I did.
"Can we meet somewhere?"
I drove to Temple Beth Zion, the place that we first met. I couldn't describe the feeling of uncertainty as I parked and saw her standing there.
"Hello, Mac."
"Hi, Dara."
I walked up to her feeling like I was doing the wrong thing. Her lips pressed against mine, and it felt anything but right.
But it was better than the feeling of loneliness.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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