"We're having Thanksgiving at Tara's house?"
Saying I was surprised was a bit of an understatement. Every year, we'd always spent Thanksgiving in Malibu with my grandma. However, since my sister Tara and her new husband Mark had just moved into their new house, the family made the decision to bring my favorite holiday...yes, MY favorite holday...to a new location.
"Michael, you're overreacting."
My mom's remarks were hurtful to say the least.
"That may be so, but you're being unreasonable! Whatever happened to tradition?"
"Sometimes, you need to be open to new traditions. Didn't you watch Fiddler on the Roof with us when it was on cable last year?"
What was I doing on that night?
Oh yeah, that was the night I hooked up with that one girl.
What was her name?
I believe it was Lily. Yes. Lily.
"I was probably hanging out with Ben that night, Mom."
"We really should own that movie. It's a Jewish classic!"
"Channukah's coming. I'll see what I can do."
We went off on this tangent for a while until I remembered what it was that I was trying to talk to her about before.
"Mom, how does Grandma feel about us suddenly deciding that her place wasn't good enough for Thanksgiving."
"She suggested that we let Tara and Mark host it."
"That bitch."
"Watch your mouth."
"Sorry."
"The decision has been made. Grandma has already bought her plane ticket."
"I'll refund her!"
"Michael--"
"Oh, there's just no use talking to you. Goodnight, Mother."
And on that note, I stormed upstairs to rant about the situation to Darrin, my twin brother.
"And the fact that she made the decision without us. Doesn't that make you mad?"
"I was there when she made the decision. We took a vote."
"Who is 'we'?"
"Mom, Dad, JT and myself."
"And where was I when you guys made this decision."
"It was a Saturday night. You were probably at Melinda's."
"So you guys just made the decision without me?"
"You're at Melinda's every Saturday night."
"You coulda called to get my vote!"
"Yeah, that would've been fun. Not like it would be awkward for Mom and Dad to hear Melinda saying 'GIVE IT TO ME, MAC-ATTACK' in the background."
I gave my brother a strange look.
"I do get home from school at the same time that you do."
"Right."
There was an awkward silence, and then:
"What were we talking about?"
"No idea. How about a Coke?"
"I'd love a Coke."
I told Ben about the situation during lunch the next day.
"It's not fair, Mac."
"I know! Finally, someone who agrees that traditions shouldn't be broken!"
"Traditions? I was talking about the prices for cafeteria food."
"What?"
"$3 for a slice of burnt pizza and a carton of milk just isn't right. They're ripping us off!"
"Ben, how did we get from Thanksgiving to school lunch?"
"When were we talking about Thanksgiving?"
Just then, my beautiful girlfriend Melinda appeared in my vision.
"What are you so worked up about?"
"How'd you know I was worked up about something?"
"Your shoulders are tense, your back is stiff, and plus, I'm a woman and I know everything."
With that sentiment, she kissed me softly.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"So talk to me, tell me what's wrong."
"It's the school lunch prices, Melinda. They are way too high!"
"Not you, you idiot. Me."
"What are you worked up about, Mac-Attack?"
"I just got done--oh, it's useless. I'll tell you again: instead of going to California like we ALWAYS DO, we're having Thanksgiving with Tara and Mark this year."
"Traditions were meant to be broken, Mac. Didn't you ever see Fiddler on the Roof?"
"No, but apparently everyone else has!"
"It's a Jewish classic."
"I get it! I should be open to change and Fiddler on the Roof is a Jewish Classic! Anything else?"
"Well, you forgot to mention the school lunch prices and--"
"That too!"
Knowing I couldn't get my best friend and my girlfriend to understand what I was saying, I walked off. I can only speculate what the conversation between the two was after I left:
"Not gonna lie. It's kinda a turn-on to see him so worked up."
"I think he's overreacting. Did I mention how unreasonable these prices are???"
A couple days later, it was the day before Thanksgiving. My dad decided it would be nice to have everyone over for pizza so that my Grandma could get settled in.
"Hello, grandchildren!"
We all rushed downstairs to greet her. She had three huge bags with just enough clothes to last her the weekend.
"I have a bag for each of you to bring to my room...and a 20 for the first one to be done putting my things away!"
Darrin and JT rushed to get her bags up.
"I don't need the 20. I have a job."
"You most certainly do. How are you, my love? I haven't gotten a call from you in weeks!"
"I've been better."
Grandma's face suddenly changed from giddy to concerned.
"Did you get a girl pregnant, Michael?"
"What? No, Grandma! I'm just a little sad that we're not having Thanksgiving at your place this year."
"That's what you're mad about?"
"Yes. We've been going to your place since I can remember. It's a tradition."
"But traditions change all the time. Haven't you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof? It's a--"
"Please don't say 'Jewish Classic', Grandma."
"But it is, Michael. It truly is."
I felt that the only justification for the change in tradition was the fact that Fiddler on the Roof was a Jewish Classic.
"If you don't wanna go to Tara's, you could always come to my house and spend Thanksgiving with me and my family."
I know she means well, but when I called her that night, she didn't seem to understand why it was that this was bothering me.
"It's not that, baby."
"Then what is it?"
"You always have Thanksgiving at your house, right?"
"Every year."
"So you'd feel weird if you had it some other place, right?"
"Maybe a little."
"For my entire 17 years of existence, we've had Thanksgiving at my Grandma's house. It was always so perfect, being right there on the beach. The only way I know how to have Thanksgiving is to have it at my Grandma's house."
"So it's what you're comfortable with."
"Exactly."
"Haven't you ever stepped out of your comfort zone before, honey? Haven't you ever tried something new?"
Her questions interested me.
"Well, I suppose I have."
"I know that you have. I remember back in Kindergarden. You were so shy and insecure and only hung out with me. But as the years went on, you came out of your shell and met more people. I even remember the first time you noticed girls."
"2nd Grade. Miranda Gonzalez. Wow, she was exotic."
"She was from Peoria."
I laughed a little.
"Michael, change is good. Remember a year ago when we were just friends? Now we're together, and that was a huge change. But, do you wanna know a secret?"
"I'd love to."
"I have never been happier than I am right now."
"Sitting in your room. talking to me about my insecurities via cell phone?"
"You know what I mean, silly."
We ended up talking on the phone for another hour. Just talking about life, school, memories, etc. One of the things that was so great about being with Melinda is that we were best friends for our entire lives before we got together. With her, I felt more content and alive than I ever had before. Most importantly, we knew everything about each other, and we probably knew each other better than we knew ourselves. The one thing that she's always been able to do is get inside my head and allow me to see things a little more clearly. That's kinda what she did when we were talking on the phone that night.
The next day, we arrived at my sister's house close to 2:00.
"HELLO, FAMILY!!!"
Tara was insanely giddy, as she had been since her and Mark got together this past summer.
"Welcome, everyone."
There was about 20 minutes of hugs and kisses (what I like to call the "Jewish hello").
"I love the house, Mark."
"Thanks, Rabbi. We got a great deal on it too. It just needed a little work, so I've been fixing it up since we got back from the Honeymoon."
"I'm telling you, Daddy, he's great with his hands."
"I'll bet he is."
My dad hit me in the back of the head for saying such a thing. I, for one, thought my comment was hilarious.
"Let's watch some football, Michael. I'm sure the ladies don't want us in their hair while they finish up dinner."
"Yeah, man. Sounds good."
We turned on the game. The Cowboys were really destroying the Raiders.
"Goodness, these scores are high. What inning is it?"
"There's no innings in football, Grandma. It's divided into four quarters. It's the 2nd quarter right now."
"If it's only the 2nd quarter, than how are the scores so high?"
"Each time a team scores a touchdown, they get 7 points. If they get a field goal; then they only get 3."
"And if the offense is tackled in their own endzone, the defense gets 2 points. It's called a Safety."
"This game is way too complicated. I think I'll go help in the kitchen."
Dinner was amazing. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, you name it. The pumpkin pie was rich in taste. And the truth is, I didn't think much about the fact that we weren't at my Grandma's house. I was thinking about the fact that I was with my family and that we were having fun. Eating, talking, etc. It was truly a great Thanksgiving.
I had driven myself there because I decided I wouldn't go straight home after Thanksgiving dinner. I decided to make a little detour to Melinda's house.
"Hey, honey. I wasn't expecting you."
We kissed.
"I had a crazy idea."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"I've been hearing a lot of talk about this Fiddler on the Roof movie. I couldn't understand the hype, so I picked up a copy in hopes that maybe you'd want to watch it with me."
"I'd love nothing more. Come on in."
We spent the next 181 minutes cuddling on her couch and listening to a man named Tevya sing about being a rich man and what not. As we sat and watched the movie, I could suddenly feel yet another tradition starting.
"We should definitely do this every year."
"It's not exactly a Thanksgiving movie."
"True...but it is a Jewish classic!"
And on that sentiment, we agreed to watch Fiddler on the Roof every Thanksgiving from that day forward, for as long as we both shall live.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
PS: If you haven't seen Fiddler on the Roof, please do. It's a Jewish Classic.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Making the Cut in the Life of the Mac-Attack
**In my last blog entry, I mentioned that Melinda had made me a surprise before I got on the airplane. However, I forgot to reveal what the surprise was. It was a batch of fresh-baked cookies. I repeat: a bag of fresh-baked cookies.
And now, onto the latest episode of "A Day in the Life of the Mac-Attack"
"Mac!"
Ben was knocking on my front door at 6 in the morning on a SUNDAY!
"Ben, it's 6 in the morning, and on a Sunday."
"It's try-outs day."
He was referring to the basketball try-outs for the West Coast USY Basketball League. Ben and I were appointed to play/coach Team Arizona. I named Ben the Head Coach and myself as the Assistant Coach. Of course, it didn't constitute being woken up at 6 AM on a Sunday, especially when try-outs weren't until FOUR!!!
"Try-Outs aren't until four, Ben."
"Yes, but as coaches, we have to start setting up early."
"THIS EARLY????"
Ben looked embarassed.
"Sorry that I yelled. I know you're really excited about this. Come in and have a cup of coffee."
"I've had three already!"
"Well, come in while I have a cup of coffee. God knows I need it."
Ben and I came into a nearly empty house.
"Parents aren't up yet?"
"Darrin had Regional Choir in Flagstaff this weekend, so the 'rents and JT went up with him."
"So you've had the house to yourself?"
"Almost to myself."
Just then, Melinda came down the stairs in nothing but her robe.
"What's with all the noise? It's 6 AM!"
"It's just Ben, baby."
"Oh, hello, Ben. So nice of you to join us so early in the morning!"
I get a kick out of my girlfriend's blatant sarcasm.
"As I explained to Mac, it's try-out day. I figured we'd get an early start."
Melinda gave Ben a weird look.
"I also woke up at 5, and was creeped out because I was alone. My parents are in Cabo for their anniversary."
"I didn't think your parents' wedding anniversary was until January?"
"Different anniversary."
Melinda got the hint and decided to not ask any more questions.
"Well, since we're all up, I'll make some pancakes while my two favorite coaches talk business."
She kissed me and then went into the kitchen.
"Do your parents know you've been having sex all weekend?"
"Nope."
"Cool. Anyway, I've recieved profiles from 25 athletes who would like to try out."
"Good, we'll only have to cut 10 people."
Ben didn't respond.
"You do understand that we only need 15 players, right?"
"Yes, but what if we had 25? We could have 5 different rotations."
"Yes, but half the guys wouldn't be getting any playing time. Three rotations is all we need."
I could tell that Ben didn't like the idea of cuts, and it was obvious why. Freshman year, he tried out for the basketball team at Deer Valley High, and while he was easily the best player there, he wasn't what they were looking for. He lost his spot to a kid who had donated $5000 to the athletic department. The kid wasn't even that good...in fact, he was very bad. The point is, Ben didn't even touch a basketball until we played at the USY Presidents' Retreat last weekend.
"Do I necessarily have to be the one that makes the cuts, Mac?"
"Well, you are the head coach. I can take notes, but it's ultimately your call."
"Are you sure?"
"Ben, I'm positive."
"Then...can you be the head coach?"
"Ben, there's a reason that I named you head coach. You know more about basketball than anyone I know...plus, the most organized form of basketball that I ever played was in Coach Nasty's P.E. Class."
"But I don't know if I have the heart to tell someone they aren't good enough. It could ruin their lives!"
"Ben...it's a USY Basketball League. Nobody is going to be heartbroken if they don't make it."
"I just don't know if I can do it, Mac. I never thought about the possibility that I'd be cutting someone; I don't even know how to go about it."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime, let's look at these profiles and see if there's anything impressive."
For the next ten minutes, we looked through several of the athlete profiles. To be quite honest, I wasn't impressed by any of them. Here's a little sample:
Benji Gold of Congregation Am Yisroel: Played from the time he was 5 to the time he was 9. Then they raised the hoop the following season, so he quit.
Elijah Stein of Congregation Am Yisroel: Never played basketball a day in his life, even in P.E. He was, however, a very big Phoenix Suns fan, so he figured he could copy whatever it was that they did.
Thomas Rabinowitz of Temple Beth Zion: Played a huge role for the basketball team at North Scottsdale High...as their waterboy.
There were 22 other profiles that were not unlike these profiles. I was praying that their try-outs would speak for themselves, but I wasn't sure it would work out that way.
Ben and I arrived at the newly designed basketball court at Temple Beth Zion around 3:30. We set up cones and stuff, got our clipboards ready, and prepared for what could be a very painful process.
As the athletes began piling in, we instructed them to take some shots until everyone arrived. So far, the athletes were short, scrawny, and couldn't dribble.
"Hey, Coach, what are the chances that we'll have to cut all these kids?"
"God, I wish there were more black Jews. At least we could have a shot."
When all 25 athletes were there, Ben blew his whistle and everyone took a knee.
"Welcome, USYers!"
Most of the athletes were breathing heavily from the tough work-out of shooting lay-ups for 10 minutes.
"Okay then. I'm Ben Sheiner, Player/Head Coach. To my right is the legendary Mac-Attack Maccabbi; he will be the Assistant Coach."
Generally, I would've gotten a huge applause because I'm the Mac-Attack and all, but all I heard was the sound of asthmatics using their inhalers.
"Just so you guys know, Mac and I will be playing, so we really only have 15 spots on this team. 10 of you will be cut, but don't be sad if you are. I was--I was cut once."
Ben seemed to be struggling with his words. The tears began to come.
"Excuse me for one minute."
He walked away and sat on the bench.
"So, um, we're gonna run you guys in some basic drills. In an hour, we'll scrimmage. Ben and I looked through your profiles, and they were--um--interesting. So, first we wanna see your shooting, so we'll start off with a nice game of bump-out."
When Ben was done crying, we observed the very slow game of bump-out. Don't get me wrong, there were a couple high points, but it wasn't going too well.
"Hey, Mac! This isn't fair. Thomas used his ball to bump mine all the way over there!"
"Benji, I'm gonna explain something to you...it's called BUMP-OUT!"
"Oh, is that where the name comes from?"
"My goodness gracious."
Once the game of bump-out was over, we put the athletes in groups of five to see how they would handle themselves on the court. Each group was unique, so to speak.
"Hey, Thomas, pass the ball!"
"We're not even in the same group!"
Just then, I got a call from Tara Hudson, the President of West Coast USY/the person who recruited Ben and I to head up Team Arizona.
"How's the try-out going?"
"Do you want my honesty or do you want bullshit?"
"Honesty."
"There's 25 athletes, we plan to cut 10, but I'd love to cut ALL OF THEM!!!"
"Why couldn't you have given me bullshit???"
"Tara, there are NO good athletes here. You know some USYers in Arizona; couldn't you just make some calls and have people show up?"
"Not a bad idea...but I just got a better one."
"Care to share?"
"Good rhyming, and I won't share. You'll figure it out for yourself."
At that moment, Tara hung up the phone and I was unsure of what to do next.
"Benji, get your finger out of your nose! Elijah, get your ass up and stop sitting in the middle of the court! And, Thomas, don't even get me STARTED on your laziness. SHOW SOME HUSTLE!"
Before we knew it, it was 5:15 and time for the scrimmage. We decided to give the Bad News Bears a little break first.
"Unless Lebron James converts to Judaism and becomes a member of USY, we're gonna be the laughing stock of the league!"
"Well, at least you and I are on the team. They could always just pass to us."
"We can't be in the game the entire time, Ben. We do have to coach."
"This is a disaster. You'd think that as big as the two USY Chapters are, there would be some athleticism. Please, God, send us an angel."
"At your service, Coach Sheiner."
Ben looked up and saw that an angel was sent in the form of our overweight friend Brian Berg.
"B, what are you doing here?"
"I got a call from El Presidente. She said you needed some reinforcements."
"Since when do you play basketball?"
"I don't...but they do."
At that moment, B pointed out a group of exactly 15 USYers who looked like they were worth something. I had met most of them before, but there was one familiar face that really stuck out.
"Hey, Coaches."
"Sam?"
Sam Bernstein was beautiful and recently single, but more importantly, she had long legs and looked like the type to have a killer jump-shot.
"Alright. Show us what you got."
Sam went up to the three point line and made an easy shot.
"I made Varsity my freshman year at Desert Strip High in Vegas."
Ben's jaw dropped.
"Hey, Coach, are you gonna stare or are we gonna play some basketball?"
Ben, still shocked, blew his whistle and sat down Nerds Incorporated.
"So, um, you guys put a great effort forward today, but I think I'm gonna take the team in another direction. Thank you for your time, and I hope you all will root for us at our first game against Team Vegas."
The Arizona Misfits struggled to get up and leave.
As soon as they were gone:
"Okay, so we won't be making any cuts today, but we will be evaluating all of you on your skills. There are only five people on the court at a given time, so we need to have a couple different rotations going. I'm Ben Sheiner, the head coach. This is Mac-Attack Maccabbi, the Assistant Coach."
I got the applause that I didn't get the first time around.
"Okay, Team Arizona. Let's scrimmage. Show us what you've got."
For the rest of the day, nobody missed a lay-up, nobody had an asthma attack, and everybody understood what "shooting from the perimeter" meant. After the scrimmage, Ben and I treated the team to pizzas over at By the Slice. I knew that this was just the beginning of many victory parties for Team Arizona.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
And now, onto the latest episode of "A Day in the Life of the Mac-Attack"
"Mac!"
Ben was knocking on my front door at 6 in the morning on a SUNDAY!
"Ben, it's 6 in the morning, and on a Sunday."
"It's try-outs day."
He was referring to the basketball try-outs for the West Coast USY Basketball League. Ben and I were appointed to play/coach Team Arizona. I named Ben the Head Coach and myself as the Assistant Coach. Of course, it didn't constitute being woken up at 6 AM on a Sunday, especially when try-outs weren't until FOUR!!!
"Try-Outs aren't until four, Ben."
"Yes, but as coaches, we have to start setting up early."
"THIS EARLY????"
Ben looked embarassed.
"Sorry that I yelled. I know you're really excited about this. Come in and have a cup of coffee."
"I've had three already!"
"Well, come in while I have a cup of coffee. God knows I need it."
Ben and I came into a nearly empty house.
"Parents aren't up yet?"
"Darrin had Regional Choir in Flagstaff this weekend, so the 'rents and JT went up with him."
"So you've had the house to yourself?"
"Almost to myself."
Just then, Melinda came down the stairs in nothing but her robe.
"What's with all the noise? It's 6 AM!"
"It's just Ben, baby."
"Oh, hello, Ben. So nice of you to join us so early in the morning!"
I get a kick out of my girlfriend's blatant sarcasm.
"As I explained to Mac, it's try-out day. I figured we'd get an early start."
Melinda gave Ben a weird look.
"I also woke up at 5, and was creeped out because I was alone. My parents are in Cabo for their anniversary."
"I didn't think your parents' wedding anniversary was until January?"
"Different anniversary."
Melinda got the hint and decided to not ask any more questions.
"Well, since we're all up, I'll make some pancakes while my two favorite coaches talk business."
She kissed me and then went into the kitchen.
"Do your parents know you've been having sex all weekend?"
"Nope."
"Cool. Anyway, I've recieved profiles from 25 athletes who would like to try out."
"Good, we'll only have to cut 10 people."
Ben didn't respond.
"You do understand that we only need 15 players, right?"
"Yes, but what if we had 25? We could have 5 different rotations."
"Yes, but half the guys wouldn't be getting any playing time. Three rotations is all we need."
I could tell that Ben didn't like the idea of cuts, and it was obvious why. Freshman year, he tried out for the basketball team at Deer Valley High, and while he was easily the best player there, he wasn't what they were looking for. He lost his spot to a kid who had donated $5000 to the athletic department. The kid wasn't even that good...in fact, he was very bad. The point is, Ben didn't even touch a basketball until we played at the USY Presidents' Retreat last weekend.
"Do I necessarily have to be the one that makes the cuts, Mac?"
"Well, you are the head coach. I can take notes, but it's ultimately your call."
"Are you sure?"
"Ben, I'm positive."
"Then...can you be the head coach?"
"Ben, there's a reason that I named you head coach. You know more about basketball than anyone I know...plus, the most organized form of basketball that I ever played was in Coach Nasty's P.E. Class."
"But I don't know if I have the heart to tell someone they aren't good enough. It could ruin their lives!"
"Ben...it's a USY Basketball League. Nobody is going to be heartbroken if they don't make it."
"I just don't know if I can do it, Mac. I never thought about the possibility that I'd be cutting someone; I don't even know how to go about it."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime, let's look at these profiles and see if there's anything impressive."
For the next ten minutes, we looked through several of the athlete profiles. To be quite honest, I wasn't impressed by any of them. Here's a little sample:
Benji Gold of Congregation Am Yisroel: Played from the time he was 5 to the time he was 9. Then they raised the hoop the following season, so he quit.
Elijah Stein of Congregation Am Yisroel: Never played basketball a day in his life, even in P.E. He was, however, a very big Phoenix Suns fan, so he figured he could copy whatever it was that they did.
Thomas Rabinowitz of Temple Beth Zion: Played a huge role for the basketball team at North Scottsdale High...as their waterboy.
There were 22 other profiles that were not unlike these profiles. I was praying that their try-outs would speak for themselves, but I wasn't sure it would work out that way.
Ben and I arrived at the newly designed basketball court at Temple Beth Zion around 3:30. We set up cones and stuff, got our clipboards ready, and prepared for what could be a very painful process.
As the athletes began piling in, we instructed them to take some shots until everyone arrived. So far, the athletes were short, scrawny, and couldn't dribble.
"Hey, Coach, what are the chances that we'll have to cut all these kids?"
"God, I wish there were more black Jews. At least we could have a shot."
When all 25 athletes were there, Ben blew his whistle and everyone took a knee.
"Welcome, USYers!"
Most of the athletes were breathing heavily from the tough work-out of shooting lay-ups for 10 minutes.
"Okay then. I'm Ben Sheiner, Player/Head Coach. To my right is the legendary Mac-Attack Maccabbi; he will be the Assistant Coach."
Generally, I would've gotten a huge applause because I'm the Mac-Attack and all, but all I heard was the sound of asthmatics using their inhalers.
"Just so you guys know, Mac and I will be playing, so we really only have 15 spots on this team. 10 of you will be cut, but don't be sad if you are. I was--I was cut once."
Ben seemed to be struggling with his words. The tears began to come.
"Excuse me for one minute."
He walked away and sat on the bench.
"So, um, we're gonna run you guys in some basic drills. In an hour, we'll scrimmage. Ben and I looked through your profiles, and they were--um--interesting. So, first we wanna see your shooting, so we'll start off with a nice game of bump-out."
When Ben was done crying, we observed the very slow game of bump-out. Don't get me wrong, there were a couple high points, but it wasn't going too well.
"Hey, Mac! This isn't fair. Thomas used his ball to bump mine all the way over there!"
"Benji, I'm gonna explain something to you...it's called BUMP-OUT!"
"Oh, is that where the name comes from?"
"My goodness gracious."
Once the game of bump-out was over, we put the athletes in groups of five to see how they would handle themselves on the court. Each group was unique, so to speak.
"Hey, Thomas, pass the ball!"
"We're not even in the same group!"
Just then, I got a call from Tara Hudson, the President of West Coast USY/the person who recruited Ben and I to head up Team Arizona.
"How's the try-out going?"
"Do you want my honesty or do you want bullshit?"
"Honesty."
"There's 25 athletes, we plan to cut 10, but I'd love to cut ALL OF THEM!!!"
"Why couldn't you have given me bullshit???"
"Tara, there are NO good athletes here. You know some USYers in Arizona; couldn't you just make some calls and have people show up?"
"Not a bad idea...but I just got a better one."
"Care to share?"
"Good rhyming, and I won't share. You'll figure it out for yourself."
At that moment, Tara hung up the phone and I was unsure of what to do next.
"Benji, get your finger out of your nose! Elijah, get your ass up and stop sitting in the middle of the court! And, Thomas, don't even get me STARTED on your laziness. SHOW SOME HUSTLE!"
Before we knew it, it was 5:15 and time for the scrimmage. We decided to give the Bad News Bears a little break first.
"Unless Lebron James converts to Judaism and becomes a member of USY, we're gonna be the laughing stock of the league!"
"Well, at least you and I are on the team. They could always just pass to us."
"We can't be in the game the entire time, Ben. We do have to coach."
"This is a disaster. You'd think that as big as the two USY Chapters are, there would be some athleticism. Please, God, send us an angel."
"At your service, Coach Sheiner."
Ben looked up and saw that an angel was sent in the form of our overweight friend Brian Berg.
"B, what are you doing here?"
"I got a call from El Presidente. She said you needed some reinforcements."
"Since when do you play basketball?"
"I don't...but they do."
At that moment, B pointed out a group of exactly 15 USYers who looked like they were worth something. I had met most of them before, but there was one familiar face that really stuck out.
"Hey, Coaches."
"Sam?"
Sam Bernstein was beautiful and recently single, but more importantly, she had long legs and looked like the type to have a killer jump-shot.
"Alright. Show us what you got."
Sam went up to the three point line and made an easy shot.
"I made Varsity my freshman year at Desert Strip High in Vegas."
Ben's jaw dropped.
"Hey, Coach, are you gonna stare or are we gonna play some basketball?"
Ben, still shocked, blew his whistle and sat down Nerds Incorporated.
"So, um, you guys put a great effort forward today, but I think I'm gonna take the team in another direction. Thank you for your time, and I hope you all will root for us at our first game against Team Vegas."
The Arizona Misfits struggled to get up and leave.
As soon as they were gone:
"Okay, so we won't be making any cuts today, but we will be evaluating all of you on your skills. There are only five people on the court at a given time, so we need to have a couple different rotations going. I'm Ben Sheiner, the head coach. This is Mac-Attack Maccabbi, the Assistant Coach."
I got the applause that I didn't get the first time around.
"Okay, Team Arizona. Let's scrimmage. Show us what you've got."
For the rest of the day, nobody missed a lay-up, nobody had an asthma attack, and everybody understood what "shooting from the perimeter" meant. After the scrimmage, Ben and I treated the team to pizzas over at By the Slice. I knew that this was just the beginning of many victory parties for Team Arizona.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Thursday, November 5, 2009
A Presidents' Retreat in the Life of the Mac-Attack
"Okay, so I made you a surprise, but you have to wait until you're on the plane to open it up."
My girlfriend Melinda was dropping me off at the airport, obviously. I was to be in California for the weekend, meeting with the other USY Presidents and Vice Presidents of the West Coast USY Region.
"You're the best, baby."
"You know it."
We kissed for a long time.
"I love you."
"I love you too. Call when you get in."
"I will."
"Promise?"
I kissed her again.
"Sealed with a kiss."
We kissed one more time. This kiss was so long, you'd think we were saying goodbye forever. Truthfully, it would feel like forever. We had become official at my sister's wedding about three weeks ago, and we'd been inseperable ever since.
When I got to the gate, my Vice President/Best Friend Ben was already there.
"Good Morning, Mr. President."
"Ben, you don't have to call me Mr. President."
"I thought it sounded cool because we're on official business."
As we got onto the cramped Southwest Airlines Flight, the only thing I could say to my Vice President was: "It's not exactly Airforce One."
The flight lasted an hour. We arrived at LAX in Los Angeles around 9:30 in the morning. We were greeted by the Regional President of West Coast USY Tara Hudson.
"Mac! Ben!"
We each hugged our good friend and we headed down to baggage claim.
"Thanks for picking us up, Tara."
"It's no problem, Mac-Attack. When you told me you guys got an earlier flight, it was the least I could do."
"So the other presidents and vice-presidents--"
"Won't be joining us until noon. We're having lunch brought in for us during our first meeting, but I was hoping to take you guys to breakfast."
"That sounds great, but first I have to call Melinda to let her know I made it okay."
As Ben cracked an imaginary whip, I dialed Melinda's number: 602 555 2643
"I take it you made it to L.A."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Was the flight okay?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Are you guys with Tara?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Will you stop calling me 'ma'am'?"
"Yes, ma'am."
I heard Melinda laughing on the other end of the phone.
"So Tara is gonna take me and Ben to breakfast and then we're gonna have a bit of downtime until the rest of the presidents and vice-presidents get here."
"What time are they all getting there?"
"Around noon, and then it's straight to work for me."
"Oh, my man is just so important."
"You got that right."
"Michael, I'm gonna miss you so much tonight."
"No worries, babe. I'll make it up to you when I get back in a couple days."
I knew I should probably get off the phone when Ben gave me one of those "Ahem" looks.
"Uh, so baby, I gotta go. Lots of work and so little time."
"Okay, baby. I love you and miss you already."
"I love you and miss you too."
We hung up and I began walking out of the airport with Tara and Ben.
"The Mac-Attack in love?"
"I'm entitled to it, aren't I?"
"It's just so weird to see you acting that way...like a good guy."
Ben started laughing.
"Come on, Tara, it's not like I've never been in a relationship before. Didn't you ever meet Dara?"
"Nope."
"You're lucky, Tara. Dara was a hoe."
"Come on now, Ben, that's not very nice."
"I'm just saying."
Tara drove us over to Jerry's Deli and we enjoyed a delicious breakfast full of omlettes and stuff. Deli food is the best.
"Okay, so there is a reason I wanted to talk to you guys before we met with all the other Presidents and Vice-Presidents."
"Because we're awesome, right?"
Tara laughed, but then got her business-face back on.
"Last month, I was at a Retreat for all the Regional Presidents of United Synagogue Youth. I met a lot of people, including the International President."
"Well, that makes sense, since it was a retreat for USY Presidents."
Tara disregarded Ben's comment and continued.
"Well, Jonathon--his name is Jonathon--was telling me about his time as President of FCSA USY, and--"
"FCSA?"
"Former Confederate States of America. South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia, etc."
"Okay, continue."
"Anyway, he told me about the Regional Basketball League that he started, and I thought it would be a good idea to get one going in our Region."
"Tara, that's a great idea!"
"Glad you're on board with it...because I want the two of you to lead Team Arizona."
Ben nearly spit out his orange juice.
"Us?"
"It could be a great opportunity for Temple Beth Zion USY."
"I agree, Tara."
Ben still looked hesitant, and I knew why. Ben used to love playing basketball, but then he was cut from the team at Deer Valley High. Since then, he wouldn't even watch basketball on TV.
"Ben, you know more about basketball than anyone I know."
"I don't want to talk about this, Mac. Thanks for the offer, Tara, but I think Mac will have to take this one on his own. Can we go soon, please? I wanna rest, I think I'm jet-lagged."
"The flight was only an hour long."
"Check, please."
The tension finally eased when we arrived at Temple Beth Elohim, the site of the Retreat. We helped Tara set up the meeting room, and before we knew it, the room was flooded with USY Presidents.
I saw a few familiar faces, such as my good friend Max Altman, the Vice President of Beth Elohim USY. The President was another friend of mine, Gahl Sinai. I then saw Brian Berg in the distance; he had become the President of Congregation Am Yisroel by default...no one ran against him because no one else thought they could win. He was walking with some hottie who must have been a USY President I had never met before.
"So, because no one thought they could beat me, no one ran against me. Therefore, I won by default."
"That's, um, interesting."
"Mac-Attack!"
He walked toward me and gave me a hug.
"Who's your friend?"
"I'm Shelley Goldsmith, President of Kol Echad Synagogue in Albuquerque, New Mexico."
"I'm Mac Maccabbi, President of Temple Beth Zion in Phoenix."
She was giving me the look that most girls give me when they want to...do things with me, so to speak.
"What are you into, Mac?"
"Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness."
"That sounds fun."
She started moving closer when I spoke the words that no girl ever wants to hear when they wanna hook up with someone.
"I have a girlfriend."
I then walked away without a word.
"Nice job getting yourself out of that jam, Mac."
That would be the voice of Rivka Pasternak, an old USY Flame from San Diego.
"Hello, Rivka. You look good."
"Thank you, Mac-Attack."
"How have you been?"
"Good. Lonely, but good."
She gave me the same look that Shelley had just given me, but before I could say anything, Tara began the meeting.
"Welcome to the West Coast USY 2009 Presidents' Retreat!"
There were some cheers from all the Presidents and Vice-Presidents.
"So, I'm sure some of you have heard the rumors, but I just wanted to confirm it. West Coast USY will be starting a Regional Basketball League. I've already nominated Mac Maccabbi and Ben Sheiner to head up Team Arizona."
Ben proceeded to leave the room.
"Um, like I was saying, we already have Team Arizona's leadership. Over the course of the weekend, as I get to know each and every one of you, I will make more nominations based on Leadership skills, organization, and of course, knowledge about basketball. I'm very excited about this. It's one of the many great things West Coast USY is offering this year."
More people cheered.
"So, in just a few minutes, we're gonna break up into small groups. Then we'll get changed for Shabbat Services. I hope everyone is ready for a productive weekend; I sure am."
The rest of the day went by really quickly. Lots of hard work...but that wasn't what was on my mind right now. Rivka kept giving me hints, but the thing about it was that I had no interest in her anymore. I was in love with Melinda...what was the best way to tell Rivka this?
Meanwhile, Ben was having problems of his own. I just didn't understand it; the guy had loved basketball so much when we were growing up, and now that he had the opportunity to be a part of a team again, he didn't seem to want it.
All this while trying to focus on my meetings and stuff. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to call Melinda and talk to her about it.
"Rivka doesn't know we're dating?"
"Baby, how often do you think I talk to her?"
"Michael, you were telling EVERYONE when we started dating. You called your dad's third cousin who you've never even MET before!"
"Robin was a nice lady."
I guess it did hurt to call.
"You are gonna tell her, right?"
"Of course. I just need to know how to break it to her. I wanna let her down gently, you know."
"I know what you mean, but it's not the first time you've rejected her. Remember when you and Dara first got together?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm just worried for her sake; how many times can someone get rejected by the same person over and over again?"
"Michael, you rejected me for 17 years before we got together."
"Does it count as rejection if I didn't know you were coming onto me?"
"It's a good thing that you're cute."
I laughed.
"Okay, baby, it's late. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you too."
The next day, we did some team-building exercises and stuff. Of course, since the theme of the weekend seemed to be basketball, Tara decided to have us play a mid-day game.
"Okay, so I've selected the teams at random. The rosters are posted on the door. The game will begin in half an hour."
Ben didn't look happy.
"What does playing basketball have to do with USY, Mac?"
"Ben, I wanna tell you a story."
"Okay."
"I once knew a guy who could shoot from half-court if he wanted to, but he was too fundamentally sound to ever try it. He was a great player, and he was also a very smart player. The guy knew everything about the game. Then he got a shitty break because a stupid coach made the mistake of not putting him on the roster. And guess what? That team didn't win a single game all year."
Ben looked at me.
"I know what you're getting at. The kid was me."
"Well, who else? Michael Jordan?"
"You know, he did get cut from his Freshman basketball team."
"Damn straight he did, and then he became the greatest basketball player of all time."
Ben and I looked at each other again. My best friend smiled and said the exact same thing Michael Jordan said in his coming-out-of-retirement press conference: "I'm back."
Being off of the basketball court for three years didn't seem to phase Ben a bit. He could still pass, dribble, and shoot. He was unstoppable. No one could catch the great Ben Sheiner. The kids from the other team were astonished to see how great a guy who, just 24 hours ago, had no interest in being a part of the game. Our team won the game, and afterwards, Tara had some words to say to the both of us.
"Don't even try to tell me that you won't head Team Arizona."
"Madam President, say 'Hello' to Player-Coach Ben Sheiner."
In the midst of the game celebration, Rivka came up to me and put her arms around me.
"Great game, Mac-Attack."
"Thanks. Uh, Rivka, we have to talk."
Words that no one ever wants to hear.
"Rivka, I've been with Melinda for a while now. We started our slow, slow, slow process of getting together back when school started. We became official about three weeks ago."
She put her head down.
"So that's why you've been avoiding me."
"Rivka, I wish I could say I'm sorry that we can't be together, but the truth is that I'm not. I love Melinda more than I ever thought possible, and I'm gonna hold on to what I have with her as long as humanly possible."
"She's a lucky girl."
"I'm a lucky guy to have her."
"Friends, right?"
"Of course."
We hugged, and I was relieved.
Before I knew it, Sunday was here and it was time to go to the airport. The flight was incredibly long, mostly because I knew Melinda would be waiting for me at the airport.
When we got down to Baggage Claim in Phoenix, surely enough she was there.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too."
We kissed as if we hadn't seen each other in years, which is kinda how it felt.
"By the way: Congratulations, Coach Ben."
"Player-Coach Ben, to be exact. Also, you were just making out with my Assistant Coach/Starting Shooting Guard."
"Well, I've always wanted to be a groupie for star athletes."
"Hey, hey, hey. You're just a groupie for one star athlete."
We kissed again and headed out of the airport.
The happiness I felt in those moments was indescribable. In most of my years, I had gone to USY events and hooked up, only to come home without much to look forward to besides the next event. However, this time was different. This time, I truly had something to look forward to. I had Melinda, and I knew at that moment that I would continue to look forward to seeing her for the rest of my days.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
My girlfriend Melinda was dropping me off at the airport, obviously. I was to be in California for the weekend, meeting with the other USY Presidents and Vice Presidents of the West Coast USY Region.
"You're the best, baby."
"You know it."
We kissed for a long time.
"I love you."
"I love you too. Call when you get in."
"I will."
"Promise?"
I kissed her again.
"Sealed with a kiss."
We kissed one more time. This kiss was so long, you'd think we were saying goodbye forever. Truthfully, it would feel like forever. We had become official at my sister's wedding about three weeks ago, and we'd been inseperable ever since.
When I got to the gate, my Vice President/Best Friend Ben was already there.
"Good Morning, Mr. President."
"Ben, you don't have to call me Mr. President."
"I thought it sounded cool because we're on official business."
As we got onto the cramped Southwest Airlines Flight, the only thing I could say to my Vice President was: "It's not exactly Airforce One."
The flight lasted an hour. We arrived at LAX in Los Angeles around 9:30 in the morning. We were greeted by the Regional President of West Coast USY Tara Hudson.
"Mac! Ben!"
We each hugged our good friend and we headed down to baggage claim.
"Thanks for picking us up, Tara."
"It's no problem, Mac-Attack. When you told me you guys got an earlier flight, it was the least I could do."
"So the other presidents and vice-presidents--"
"Won't be joining us until noon. We're having lunch brought in for us during our first meeting, but I was hoping to take you guys to breakfast."
"That sounds great, but first I have to call Melinda to let her know I made it okay."
As Ben cracked an imaginary whip, I dialed Melinda's number: 602 555 2643
"I take it you made it to L.A."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Was the flight okay?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Are you guys with Tara?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Will you stop calling me 'ma'am'?"
"Yes, ma'am."
I heard Melinda laughing on the other end of the phone.
"So Tara is gonna take me and Ben to breakfast and then we're gonna have a bit of downtime until the rest of the presidents and vice-presidents get here."
"What time are they all getting there?"
"Around noon, and then it's straight to work for me."
"Oh, my man is just so important."
"You got that right."
"Michael, I'm gonna miss you so much tonight."
"No worries, babe. I'll make it up to you when I get back in a couple days."
I knew I should probably get off the phone when Ben gave me one of those "Ahem" looks.
"Uh, so baby, I gotta go. Lots of work and so little time."
"Okay, baby. I love you and miss you already."
"I love you and miss you too."
We hung up and I began walking out of the airport with Tara and Ben.
"The Mac-Attack in love?"
"I'm entitled to it, aren't I?"
"It's just so weird to see you acting that way...like a good guy."
Ben started laughing.
"Come on, Tara, it's not like I've never been in a relationship before. Didn't you ever meet Dara?"
"Nope."
"You're lucky, Tara. Dara was a hoe."
"Come on now, Ben, that's not very nice."
"I'm just saying."
Tara drove us over to Jerry's Deli and we enjoyed a delicious breakfast full of omlettes and stuff. Deli food is the best.
"Okay, so there is a reason I wanted to talk to you guys before we met with all the other Presidents and Vice-Presidents."
"Because we're awesome, right?"
Tara laughed, but then got her business-face back on.
"Last month, I was at a Retreat for all the Regional Presidents of United Synagogue Youth. I met a lot of people, including the International President."
"Well, that makes sense, since it was a retreat for USY Presidents."
Tara disregarded Ben's comment and continued.
"Well, Jonathon--his name is Jonathon--was telling me about his time as President of FCSA USY, and--"
"FCSA?"
"Former Confederate States of America. South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia, etc."
"Okay, continue."
"Anyway, he told me about the Regional Basketball League that he started, and I thought it would be a good idea to get one going in our Region."
"Tara, that's a great idea!"
"Glad you're on board with it...because I want the two of you to lead Team Arizona."
Ben nearly spit out his orange juice.
"Us?"
"It could be a great opportunity for Temple Beth Zion USY."
"I agree, Tara."
Ben still looked hesitant, and I knew why. Ben used to love playing basketball, but then he was cut from the team at Deer Valley High. Since then, he wouldn't even watch basketball on TV.
"Ben, you know more about basketball than anyone I know."
"I don't want to talk about this, Mac. Thanks for the offer, Tara, but I think Mac will have to take this one on his own. Can we go soon, please? I wanna rest, I think I'm jet-lagged."
"The flight was only an hour long."
"Check, please."
The tension finally eased when we arrived at Temple Beth Elohim, the site of the Retreat. We helped Tara set up the meeting room, and before we knew it, the room was flooded with USY Presidents.
I saw a few familiar faces, such as my good friend Max Altman, the Vice President of Beth Elohim USY. The President was another friend of mine, Gahl Sinai. I then saw Brian Berg in the distance; he had become the President of Congregation Am Yisroel by default...no one ran against him because no one else thought they could win. He was walking with some hottie who must have been a USY President I had never met before.
"So, because no one thought they could beat me, no one ran against me. Therefore, I won by default."
"That's, um, interesting."
"Mac-Attack!"
He walked toward me and gave me a hug.
"Who's your friend?"
"I'm Shelley Goldsmith, President of Kol Echad Synagogue in Albuquerque, New Mexico."
"I'm Mac Maccabbi, President of Temple Beth Zion in Phoenix."
She was giving me the look that most girls give me when they want to...do things with me, so to speak.
"What are you into, Mac?"
"Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness."
"That sounds fun."
She started moving closer when I spoke the words that no girl ever wants to hear when they wanna hook up with someone.
"I have a girlfriend."
I then walked away without a word.
"Nice job getting yourself out of that jam, Mac."
That would be the voice of Rivka Pasternak, an old USY Flame from San Diego.
"Hello, Rivka. You look good."
"Thank you, Mac-Attack."
"How have you been?"
"Good. Lonely, but good."
She gave me the same look that Shelley had just given me, but before I could say anything, Tara began the meeting.
"Welcome to the West Coast USY 2009 Presidents' Retreat!"
There were some cheers from all the Presidents and Vice-Presidents.
"So, I'm sure some of you have heard the rumors, but I just wanted to confirm it. West Coast USY will be starting a Regional Basketball League. I've already nominated Mac Maccabbi and Ben Sheiner to head up Team Arizona."
Ben proceeded to leave the room.
"Um, like I was saying, we already have Team Arizona's leadership. Over the course of the weekend, as I get to know each and every one of you, I will make more nominations based on Leadership skills, organization, and of course, knowledge about basketball. I'm very excited about this. It's one of the many great things West Coast USY is offering this year."
More people cheered.
"So, in just a few minutes, we're gonna break up into small groups. Then we'll get changed for Shabbat Services. I hope everyone is ready for a productive weekend; I sure am."
The rest of the day went by really quickly. Lots of hard work...but that wasn't what was on my mind right now. Rivka kept giving me hints, but the thing about it was that I had no interest in her anymore. I was in love with Melinda...what was the best way to tell Rivka this?
Meanwhile, Ben was having problems of his own. I just didn't understand it; the guy had loved basketball so much when we were growing up, and now that he had the opportunity to be a part of a team again, he didn't seem to want it.
All this while trying to focus on my meetings and stuff. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to call Melinda and talk to her about it.
"Rivka doesn't know we're dating?"
"Baby, how often do you think I talk to her?"
"Michael, you were telling EVERYONE when we started dating. You called your dad's third cousin who you've never even MET before!"
"Robin was a nice lady."
I guess it did hurt to call.
"You are gonna tell her, right?"
"Of course. I just need to know how to break it to her. I wanna let her down gently, you know."
"I know what you mean, but it's not the first time you've rejected her. Remember when you and Dara first got together?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm just worried for her sake; how many times can someone get rejected by the same person over and over again?"
"Michael, you rejected me for 17 years before we got together."
"Does it count as rejection if I didn't know you were coming onto me?"
"It's a good thing that you're cute."
I laughed.
"Okay, baby, it's late. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you too."
The next day, we did some team-building exercises and stuff. Of course, since the theme of the weekend seemed to be basketball, Tara decided to have us play a mid-day game.
"Okay, so I've selected the teams at random. The rosters are posted on the door. The game will begin in half an hour."
Ben didn't look happy.
"What does playing basketball have to do with USY, Mac?"
"Ben, I wanna tell you a story."
"Okay."
"I once knew a guy who could shoot from half-court if he wanted to, but he was too fundamentally sound to ever try it. He was a great player, and he was also a very smart player. The guy knew everything about the game. Then he got a shitty break because a stupid coach made the mistake of not putting him on the roster. And guess what? That team didn't win a single game all year."
Ben looked at me.
"I know what you're getting at. The kid was me."
"Well, who else? Michael Jordan?"
"You know, he did get cut from his Freshman basketball team."
"Damn straight he did, and then he became the greatest basketball player of all time."
Ben and I looked at each other again. My best friend smiled and said the exact same thing Michael Jordan said in his coming-out-of-retirement press conference: "I'm back."
Being off of the basketball court for three years didn't seem to phase Ben a bit. He could still pass, dribble, and shoot. He was unstoppable. No one could catch the great Ben Sheiner. The kids from the other team were astonished to see how great a guy who, just 24 hours ago, had no interest in being a part of the game. Our team won the game, and afterwards, Tara had some words to say to the both of us.
"Don't even try to tell me that you won't head Team Arizona."
"Madam President, say 'Hello' to Player-Coach Ben Sheiner."
In the midst of the game celebration, Rivka came up to me and put her arms around me.
"Great game, Mac-Attack."
"Thanks. Uh, Rivka, we have to talk."
Words that no one ever wants to hear.
"Rivka, I've been with Melinda for a while now. We started our slow, slow, slow process of getting together back when school started. We became official about three weeks ago."
She put her head down.
"So that's why you've been avoiding me."
"Rivka, I wish I could say I'm sorry that we can't be together, but the truth is that I'm not. I love Melinda more than I ever thought possible, and I'm gonna hold on to what I have with her as long as humanly possible."
"She's a lucky girl."
"I'm a lucky guy to have her."
"Friends, right?"
"Of course."
We hugged, and I was relieved.
Before I knew it, Sunday was here and it was time to go to the airport. The flight was incredibly long, mostly because I knew Melinda would be waiting for me at the airport.
When we got down to Baggage Claim in Phoenix, surely enough she was there.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too."
We kissed as if we hadn't seen each other in years, which is kinda how it felt.
"By the way: Congratulations, Coach Ben."
"Player-Coach Ben, to be exact. Also, you were just making out with my Assistant Coach/Starting Shooting Guard."
"Well, I've always wanted to be a groupie for star athletes."
"Hey, hey, hey. You're just a groupie for one star athlete."
We kissed again and headed out of the airport.
The happiness I felt in those moments was indescribable. In most of my years, I had gone to USY events and hooked up, only to come home without much to look forward to besides the next event. However, this time was different. This time, I truly had something to look forward to. I had Melinda, and I knew at that moment that I would continue to look forward to seeing her for the rest of my days.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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