I finally confessed my feelings for Dara Karpen. Here's a little flashback for those of you who didn't read about it:
"Do you remember our conversation during Hannukah, after the gift-exchange?"
"Of course. You had that really funny bracelet."
"And you liked the bracelet."
"It was cute."
"It was for you."
But wait--there's more:
"I was the girl?"
"You ARE the girl."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Just let me do all the talking."
It was at that moment that Dara Karpen and I had our first kiss. It was amazing.
You see, my only other real shot at romance was with Rivka Pasternak, but she lived in San Diego. The whole distance thing was working against us, so we have decided to remain good friends.
Now I was finally in the clear to pursue true romance with Dara. I'd been wanting to get together with her since I first met her in November, but she had this boyfriend, Ray, who was a real tool. Dara deserved someone better, someone who would always appreciate her. Someone like me!
Dara and I finally were able to pursue what would be a great love story.
I went to school on Monday, hoping Dara would be the first person I would see. I was so excited to see her. I was all set to hold her hand, walk her to class, kiss her hello and goodbye a thousand times throughout the day, all that good stuff...
but something wasn't right.
The first person I saw on Monday was Melinda.
"Hey, Michael," she greeted me.
"Hey, Melinda. Have you seen Dara?"
"I haven't seen her."
"Well, I'm not sure if you heard, but Dara and I had a moment at the dance. We even kissed a little bit. I guess changing my ways wasn't so hard afterall."
Melinda was silent.
"Everything okay, Melinda?"
"Everything's fine. Why wouldn't everything be fine? I'm perfectly normal right now. Oh, there's Dara. I've gotta go. Bye, Michael!"
Melinda was seeming awfully defensive this morning. Maybe she was on her period, but I wasn't thinking too much about my friend's menstral cycle when I saw Dara approach me. I nearly ran up to her because I was so happy to see her. However, I decided to be cool about it and wait for her to approach me.
"Hey, Mac," she said as she got within an arm's distance from me.
"Hey there, beautiful." It surprises me sometimes how smooth I am.
I got closer and leaned in to kiss her, and she kissed back. Only for a second though.
"Well that's always worth waking up early for," she said as she eased out of the kiss.
"It feels good."
"Yeah, it really does."
Then, suddenly, I heard the voice of a familiar foe.
"Dara???"
It was Ray, Dara's recent ex-boyfriend.
"What the hell is this??"
I then proceeded to confidently say: "She left you and she's with me now, Ray. Go get lost."
Ray looked at me for a second, and then pinned me against a locker. I forgot to mention that Ray is a 6'5 football player and he could kill me with one punch.
"I'll settle this later, Mr. Mac-With-No-Sack." Creative name, I'm not gonna lie.
After he left, I looked at Dara.
"Mac, you should've let me do the talking. Ray is the jealous type."
"Don't worry, babe. I can handle him."
I lied. I would get my ass kicked if he so much as flicked me.
"Mac, you're very brave. I just don't want to see you get hurt. You mean a lot to me."
"I feel the same way, Dara."
The bell rang.
"I'm really excited about this. You and me, I mean."
"Me too."
"Good. Now, kiss me before I'm late to class."
I kissed her and we went our seperate ways, for her class was on the top floor of the F Building. My class was on the bottom floor of the C Building.
My first class was English with Mr. Crank, a crazy philosopher who seemed like the type of guy who would smoke lots of weed in his spare time. Great teacher though. Anyway, we were discussing our latest piece of literature: The Catcher in the Rye. It's a fantastic book, but I can't stand the way Holden Caulfield talks. For instance, if I was Holden, I'd describe my current situation like so:
So me and Old Dara finally got together, only her ex-boyfriend Ray has decided to be a real phony and try to give me a beating. I hate it when girls' ex-boyfriends try to give me a beating. It really kills me. So, anyways, me and Old Dara are official now, and it's really teriffic. I sure hope that Ray doesn't come after me though. It's not like I'm giving Dara the time or anything; we just started going out if you wanna know the truth. I hate it when people like Old Ray make assumptions that I'm giving girls the time. It really kills me.
It's safe to say that if I talked like THAT all the time, I wouldn't blame people for kicking my ass.
I saw Ben between 1st and 2nd hour. I explained the situation to him, and the first thing he said was: "Mac, slow down. You're sounding like Holden Caulfield!"
"Sorry, Ben. I was just reading in Crank's class."
"Yeah, I understand. I just HATE the way that character talks."
"I know. It really kills me."
Ben stared at me strangely before speaking again.
"So Ray's going to kick your ass because you and Dara are going out now."
"I don't know what I should do, Ben."
"Okay, Mac. Just calm down. I'll be your backup."
I didn't really have the heart to tell Ben that he's even less intimidating than I am to a guy like Ray.
"Ben, I..."
"Mac, trust me. I'm very familiar with the situation."
There was a pause.
"You've never done anything remotely like this before."
"Nope, not a one."
Okay, let's go over my "Getting My Ass Kicked Cheklist":
1. Weaker than Opponent - Check
2. Highly intimidated by Opponent - Check
3. Best friend who will back me up, but is even WEAKER than I am - Check
And on to 2nd Hour, followed by 3rd Hour, and then 4th Hour. When I was done simplifying Radicals in my Geometry class, it was time for lunch, where the showdown would likely occur.
I saw Dara sitting on a bench during lunch. I approached her.
"Hey."
"Hey, handsome."
I proceeded to kiss her for a long time.
"Wow, you must've missed me," she said cheerfully.
"I did...and I will."
"What do you mean?"
"I have a confession to make, Dara," I started off. She looked worried when I continued.
"It is very possible that you may never see me again after today, for I may possibly be a mangled body when Ray is finished with me."
I don't think I was being overdramatic. I was making a lot of sense!
"Mac, you're not making any sense!"
I wasn't?
"I'm not?"
Dara looked at me.
"Mac, you're not going to die today. I know for a fact that Ray is going to approach you wanting a fight. If you use your words, then you'll still have your pride...and that would be way sexier than if you were to beat the living crap out of him."
Have I ever stressed how amazing I think Dara is?
"You're amazing, Dara."
I kissed her. Suddenly, Ray came into sight.
I got the first word in:
"Ray, let me get the first word in. I know you want to kick my ass because Dara is with me now and all that, but I want you to know that I never made a move on her until she had already broken up with you. So you can beat me sll day long, but I will still have my pride no matter what. I care a lot about Dara, and I think she cares a lot about me."
I looked at Dara and she was smiling...until:
POW!!!
Ray left me knocked down to the ground. It was a punch directed at my face, and he had nailed his target.
I was in the nurse's office for a while with ice and tissues on my nose. Suddenly, I looked up and there was the girl of my dreams.
"Oh, Mac, are you okay???"
Well, I was punched in the face and knocked down onto pure concrete. My back was hurting, my nose and mouth were bleeding, and I may have cracked a tooth...but all the pain seemed to go away when I saw Dara's face.
"I've never felt better in my life."
I smiled at her. It really was good to see her.
"Well, Mr. Mac-Attack, how about we allow your wounds to heal and then you can take me out on Saturday night."
"Do you like By the Slice?""I love pizza!"
"Then it's a date."
She hugged me and kissed my cheek, but then she had to go back to delivering slips to people who needed to go to the office. That's what she was doing the first time I ever saw her back in November, the minute she immediately caught my attention. Now her and I were dating, and my attention would be devoted to the most beautiful girl on the planet.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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