Happy Single-Awareness Day!!!
By Single-Awareness Day, I mean Valentines Day. I hate Valentines Day. Seriously, there is no day out of the entire year that I hate more. It's funny because you're probably thinking "This guy is a player. I'm sure he always has someone on Valentines Day", well you're WRONG. It's actually a pretty lonely day because most women don't just want a hook-up on Valentines Day. They actually prefer to sit at home and watch romantic comedies starring Hugh Grant. As for me, I usually end up looking through my phone book to call some girl who I probably won't ever see agan, but who I once had a good time with.
About a month ago, I found out that there would be a USY event in Los Angeles over Valentines Day this year. I also found out that the weekend would conclude with a basketball game between Team Phoenix and the Los Angeles A-Team, led by my good friend Jake Josephson. The Thursday before the weekend, we had our final team meeting before travelling to L.A.
"Okay, bring it in."
Ben and I had been spending the last two weeks focusing on getting a good game-plan going. We hoped that some of the new plays that he wrote out would work.
"Now, one thing we did really well against Team Vegas was managing the clock during the game. We need to continue doing that. Make all your lay-ups, and take your time with free throws. If you see a shot, take it. If you don't see a shot, you need to pass the ball to someone who does."
"These guys won't be as tough as the boys from Vegas. We aren't the underdogs now, but don't get cocky. These guys are good. The result of this game will determine what seed we'll be in the Passover Tournament."
"And also, this isn't our home court. Whatever you do, do not show these boys too much respect out there. The general population will be rooting for the home-team. Let's give them something to be disappointed about!"
We got some cheers from our teammates as we brought our hands in.
The team started cheering again.
"Take your laps and hit the showers! We'll see you all at the airport tomorrow. 11 AM; don't be late!"
Ben sat down at the bench and started reviewing the playbook.
"Ben, stop worrying. We've got this game."
"How sure can you be, Mac?"
"Jake Josephson is a great guy, but the only sport he really knows about is Tonsil Hockey."
I was alluding to Jake's relationship with our friend (and Regional USY President) Tara Hudson.
"Yeah, he does know a lot about that...although he may be out of practice."
"Huh?"
"I talked to Gahl last night...Jake and Tara broke up."
"Haha. That's very funny."
"I'm not joking. They broke up last week."
"You're telling me that the captains of Team PDA are no longer together?"
"Isn't that what I just said?"
"That's weird. I just talked to Tara three days ago. She didn't say anything about it."
"How long did you guys talk for?"
"5 minutes."
"There you go."
"I was calling to find out the procedure for the weekend. I do it before every USY Weekend."
"I'm sure you didn't talk about your break-up with Melinda."
"We didn't talk about anything personal. There wasn't time."
"So you didn't ask how things were with Jake."
"No--oh, that's why she didn't say anything about it."
"DING DING DING! We have a winner! Charlie, tell him what he's won!"
"Ben, who the fuck is Charlie?"
"Nevermind."
Just then, Ben's girlfriend Sam Bernstein approached the bench and kissed her man.
"Hey."
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah. I'm ready."
My best friend hugged me.
"See you at the airport."
"Yeah, dude. I love you, no homo."
"No homo, love you too."
As I got ready to go to sleep that night, I suddenly felt my phone vibrate. I saw that I had a text from a 702 number.
"Who could be texting me from Nevada?"
I looked at the text message. It said "Guess Who".
"I have no idea who."
I texted the mystery person back: "Who?"
About a minute later, I got a text saying: "Who's the coolest girl you ever met from Las Vegas?"
I thought for a minute. Suddenly, I decided to venture one possible guess: "Brittany Zieglar? Is that you?"
I got a text back with nothing but a :).
I dialed the number into my phone and called her.
"Hello, Mac-Attack."
"Brittany, wow. It's been months."
"I know."
"How'd you get my number? I never gave it to you?"
"I have my ways...half the girls in my chapter have your number."
I had almost forgotten that I was no stranger to the beautiful women of Kehilat B'Nai Yisrael in Vegas.
"Of course."
"So, I'm sorry I couldn't be at the big game last month. How did it feel to take down that pussy Steve?"
"Schuckman? Well, he sure showed us that you are what you eat. He is a pussy."
"Cute."
"I thought it was funny."
"It was."
"Alright."
It was such a random encounter. Brittany Zieglar was definitely the last woman I would've expected to hear from. The last time I had seen her was in September, over the course of the USY Camping Trip. We had a few moments, but nothing happened between the two of us. I'd be lying if I said she hadn't entered my mind since then.
"So, will you be there this weekend?"
"In L.A.?"
"No; in Peru. Of course I mean L.A."
"Yes, I will be there."
"What a coincidence. So will I."
"Hey, you'll get to see my basketball game."
"Lucky me."
I looked at the time and saw that it was almost midnight.
"I hate to cut this short, but it's late and I got a flight to catch in the morning."
"Goodnight, then. I'll see you in L.A."
I got chills as I hung up the phone. She had a sexy voice, and she was even sexier in person. Her hair was long and had incredible shade of blonde. Her lips looked soft and her eyes were perfectly blue. She was one of those free-spirit types, with a very 60s-esque wardrobe. It worked for her, though. There was nothing about her physical appearance that wasn't absolutely perfect.
I decided to discuss the matter with Ben while we were on the flight to Los Angeles.
"We have a game in 48 hours. And you're thinking about a GIRL?"
"Ben, the Los Angeles A-Team should be the least of our concerns right now. They got their asses kicked by San Diego, and San Diego sucks."
"Not the point, Mac."
"Listen, Ben. I dont know what to do. I mean, she seemed interested on the phone, but she's always been somewhat indifferent to me. I can't tell if she's teasing."
"She is pretty hot."
"That's an understatement, Ben."
We got to L.A. about an hour later, in time for lunch. Ben and I met up with our friends Gahl Sinai and Max Altman. As we sat and ate our kosher pizza, Jake Josephson approached us.
"Hi."
He looked depressed.
"How are ya, Jake?"
"Eh."
He was obviously devastated over his break-up with Tara.
"Have a seat, Jake. Eat some kosher pizza."
"Eh."
It was quiet before Max, Gahl and I got up and left Ben alone with our heartbroken friend.
"Um, so, you ready for the game? I think--"
"I MISS TARA!"
Jake began crying as he held onto Ben.
"Um, there there?"
As Jake cried on Ben, I was with my California wingmen looking for Brittany Zieglar.
"You're telling me that the Vegas Hippie wants you?"
"It's weird, I know."
"Well, the Vegas kids arrived about 15 minutes ago. She shouldn't be far."
We continued to walk around looking for her. Suddenly, the subject of the game came up.
"So, you think you'll win against our boys?"
"I'm confident. How much does Jake know about basketball?"
"Not a lot, but his assistant coach does."
"Do you guys know him?"
"Yeah, he's in our chapter. Scary dude."
"Really. How scary could he be?"
Suddenly, a very muscular teenager with an estimated height of 6 feet and 4 inches approached us.
"Sinai. Altman."
"Rosenberg."
"Rosenberg."
"Rosenberg? As in Alex Rosenberg?"
"Yeah. Who are you?"
"Michael Maccabbi."
We had met one weekend several years ago at a USY weekend.
"Kadima Kinnus in 5th grade. We were bunk mates."
He seemed to vaguely remember.
"Ah, the Mac-Attack. Right?"
"Yeah."
I put my hand out for him to shake it. He gave a strange look.
"You're the Assistant Coach for Team Phoenix?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm the Assistant Coach for Los Angeles. You're going down!"
He very quickly walked away with a horrible look on his face.
"So...that's the assistant coach?"
"He's also the point guard."
"Great. With a guy like that, how did they lose to San Diego?"
"He sat out. His hand was hurt."
"And it's better now?"
"Yup."
"Great."
In the midst of everything, I suddenly heard the voice of an angel calling my name.
"Mac-Attack!"
I turned around and she jumped into my arms. Brittany Zieglar, in the flesh.
"Hello, Brittany."
"How are you?"
"Stressed."
"I'll bet I can help with that."
The tone of her voice was very seductive.
"I'd like you to help with that."
Before she could help with that, Ben came running to me. He was out of breath.
"We need to have a team meeting."
"Now?"
"Now."
I looked at Brittany.
"We'll catch up later."
I kissed her on the cheek and went off with Ben. We gathered the team around.
"Okay, everyone. I was just introduced to the Assistant Coach for Los Angeles...we're screwed."
Ben got down into the fetal position and started shaking.
"Okay, guys. Ben is panicking right now. But that doesn't mean you guys should follow his example."
Instead of listening to me, they all began to panic. After about five minutes, I got out my whistle and blew it at them.
"Off your asses, RIGHT NOW."
They followed orders. Ben slowly got up as well.
"Now listen to me! That intimidation tactic might work with some, but NOT with us. DO YOU HEAR ME?"
They didn't react.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
They all said: "Yes, Coach."
"Now, we have a game to play on Sunday. We have 48 hours to rest up for it. You can do one of two things: 1. You can pussy out and can forfeit the game because you're scared and you have no pride!!!"
I was really steaming up at this point. My face was red and I felt like I was gonna throw a chair at them. However, there was no chair around so I couldn't.
"Or, you can go with the second option. You can show up on Sunday and play the way that I know you can. ARE YOU GUYS GONNA ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF LITTLE BITCHES??? ARE YOU???"
They were speechless.
"If you are, then why the hell did you guys even come here?"
I started walking out.
"I don't know about you, but I'll be playing basketball on Sunday. If you guys care to join me, you're more than welcome to."
I spent the rest of the night feeling very out of my element. I had stressed myself out to the point that it was really hard to have fun. The next day went by really slowly. I spent some time with Brittany that night during the dance, but I was distracted.
"You seem distracted."
"That's because I am."
She got real close to me.
"What can I do to ease your distraction?"
In the corner of my eye, I saw Gahl, Max and Ben making lewd gestures at me.
"Let's dance."
"You just read my mind."
As we heard Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance", we danced and it took my mind off of things. Brittany was different than any girl I'd ever been with. I just felt so alive when I was with her. I mean, with my last girlfriend, Melinda, I was head-over-heels in love and we had a very passionate relationship. Brittany was way different, though. Even though I wasn't exactly over Melinda yet, Brittany made it easy to forget about my still-broken heart for a little while.
At the end of the night, her and I went outside and talked.
"I didn't know you could dance so well."
"There's a lot you don't know."
"Like what?"
With that, she got really close and she kissed me gently. I pulled away after a few seconds.
"I recently got out of a relationship."
"I know. Melinda Moskowitz."
I broke away from her.
"I like you, Brittany. I like you a lot, actually."
"And I like you. That's why I kissed you."
"It's just not gonna work. At least not right now."
She looked at me.
"So it's true. You really have changed, haven't you?"
"I suppose so."
We walked away from each other. I went to sleep that night with her on my mind. The way her lips felt against mine. For nearly a month, I had longed for the feeling of a beautiful woman's lips connecting with mine. It's the greatest feeling in the world. And I couldn't help feeling like I should've just let the kiss happen instead of pulling away in the middle. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but for some reason I just couldn't.
The next day was the big day. Yes, it was Valentines Day, but it was also the day of our big game. I got to the locker room early to go over my game-notes. Ben got in shortly after I did. I hadn't spoken to him since Friday.
"Hey, Coach."
"I'm almost shocked to see you here."
"I almost didn't come."
It was quiet.
"Listen, Mac, I freaked out. I know I did. But you seemed to have so much confidence on Friday. I just knew this morning that if I let you down, things would never be the same."
I got up and we hugged.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm just as scared as you are. This guy must be good. But we're still favored to win this game. That is, if the team shows up."
As if on cue, they all entered.
"Good morning."
They all nodded.
"Well what are you all standing around for? Get dressed and let's kick some ass!"
"YEAH!!!"
It didn't take long for them to get pumped up. And once the game started, it didn't take long for us to start getting momentum.
As the second half was about to start, Rosenberg ran up to me.
"You're mine, Maccabbi!"
"I'm sorry disappoint you, Rosenberg, but I already have a Valentine."
I looked up in the stands and saw Brittany, who I had been thinking of all night. She waved.
"Okay, team. We're up by 10, and we want to keep this momentum. Remember, when we played Vegas, we were down by 10. We came back, and these guys can come back too. So keep the pressure on, and try your best to stay on offense."
"And just so you guys know, I'm gonna be sitting this half out unless there's an injury. Follow Ben's lead and we can put this one away."
The buzzer rang.
"LET'S DO IT!!!"
The Los Angeles A-Team seemed a little fired up during the second half. They were really starting to bring the pressure. A couple fouls and free throws kept us with a comfortable lead, but my athletes were starting to get tired. It was only a matter of time before their energy started dying and the other team started mounting a comeback.
"Time out!"
The A-Team was only down by 4 now with five minutes left in the game.
"You're making it really easy for them to score these points. Drink some water."
"Mac, we can't do it."
"Yes, you can. I know you can."
"I feel like I'm gonna pass out."
She legitimately seemed out of breath. All of them did.
"Sam, sit out for the remainder of the game."
"What?"
"I'm going in. Adam and Bobby, sub in for Chad and Larry."
I looked at Ben.
"I'm gonna get myself to the three point line. Get the ball to me. I'm gonna put this thing away."
"You got it, Coach."
Rosenberg gave me a snide look as he saw me enter the court.
"Now you're playing?"
"What of it?"
"You're gonna get TAKEN DOWN."
"Do your worst."
And as soon as I got the ball, he did. Specifically, he knocked me down as I went to make the three-point shot. I was on the ground for a while before I got up with an aching back and neck.
The referee walked up to me after I was up.
"You got two free throws."
He handed me the ball and I tried to shake off the pain. I took a shot and it went in. The pain was becoming a lot to handle. I took the second shot and I somehow made it. We were now up by 6 with 3 minutes and 30 seconds to go. I couldn't stand up straight. I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (a very attractive hunchback, I may add). Ben called a time-out.
"What's going on?"
"It's my back. I must have fell hard."
"Okay, hit the bench."
"What?"
"Have a seat. I can't have you playing the rest of this game."
"We've gotta put this thing away, Ben. What about the shot?"
"I'll worry about the shot, Mac. As it is, we're up by 6. We have a little bit of breathing room. In the meantime, there are some heating pads in the locker room. Grab one and then sit out the rest of the game. Your back will thank you for it later."
"Alright."
I did as my coach told me. When I came back, there were 32 seconds left and our lead was down to 3. The clock continued to tick as Jake Josephson was fouled. He made both his free throws (with sudden encouragement from his recent ex-girlfriend). Our lead was now down to 1 with 17 seconds left. We got the ball back and Ben began to manage the clock well. They were passing it around a lot until the clock was down to 6 seconds. Ben got the ball again right at the three-point line. He jumped and made the shot, and as the buzzer sounded, the ball went into the hoop. Team Phoenix defeated the Los Angeles A-Team!
"Yes!"
I threw down the heating pad and hugged all my teammates as we celebrated a big victory. In the corner of my eye, I saw Jake sitting alone on their team bench. He was joined by Tara Hudson.
"You played a great game."
"Good one."
"Really. Those free throws were great."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And I was just thinking. We've been together too long to just break up over a stupid fight."
He stood up and smiled.
"I love you, Tara. Let's never fight again!"
"Deal."
They kissed and all seemed to be right with the world.
"That was quite a fall you took."
I turned around and Brittany was standing before me.
"Did you enjoy the game?"
"I did. You're a good basketball player."
"I think I like coaching more."
I looked around and saw all my athletes, still celebrating the victory.
"Congratulations."
"Thanks, Brittany."
We hugged, and then we kissed for a second.
"Stay in touch. I wouldn't wanna wait another 25 years before I talk to you again."
"Don't worry. You'll be seeing me."
I smiled before I started heading toward the locker room.
"Hey, Mac."
I turned around.
"Happy Valentines Day."
I nodded and smiled at her. I then headed up to the locker room and changed clothes.
The flight back to Arizona was quiet. The team was starting to wind down and I was busy with my thoughts. I thought about the game, of course, but I mostly thought of Brittany. I hoped that I would see her again some time in the near future. I figured that it would be really nice to finish up that kiss.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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