Here's a little lesson on Judaism for all you Non-Jewish readers out there:
Thousands of years ago, this guy named Moses was chosen by God to free the Jews from Egypt, where they were being held as slaves. We celebrate our freedom by going a week without eating bread. I don't make the rules, I just follow them because my dad is a rabbi and it would look really bad if I didn't follow them.
The holiday that I described above is called Passover, and even though we all celebrate the holiday for the same basic reason, Passover means something different to everyone. I know that it was my late Grandpa Sam's favorite holiday because when he was growing up, his entire family would spend the entire week at his house to celebrate. Therefore, to him, the holiday meant family.
To me, at least this year, it meant a couple things. The first thing was that I would be heading to San Diego for a basketball tournament on the third day. The other thing that it meant was that, once in San Diego, I would be seeing the ever beautiful Brittany Zieglar, the goddess from Las Vegas. Somehow, Brittany had stolen my heart, and now she was holding it for ransom. Needless to say, I was really looking forward to seeing her.
To be completely honest, Brittany's power over me made it hard for me to focus on the task at hand, which was winning the West Coast USY Passover Tournament Championship. Ben noticed this on Sunday night, as we conducted our final practice before the tournament.
"Mac, can I have a word?"
"Just one word?"
"Very funny."
"Thank you. I'm a comedian, you see."
"Well, you're certainly not acting like a basketball coach right now."
"How do you figure?"
Ben looked annoyed.
"Let me put it to you this way, Coach: I know that you have plans to do whatever it is that you do with Brittany when we're in San Diego. But I need you to keep in mind that you're the biggest motivation that our guys have. Sure, I'm the head coach, but you're the one who really makes a difference...at least you used to be. But all you seem to care about is Brittany, and you're losing sight at what we're going to San Diego for."
"Ben, Ben, Ben. Relax!"
He gave me a look that said: "Relax my ass! I'm not buying the crap."
"The last thing our team needs is added stress. I think it's important to keep the work-load light so that they can save it for when they really need it."
He still wasn't sold, and I should've known he wouldn't be. My philosophy as a coach had never been described by the words I just said to my best friend.
"Okay, you caught me. I can't stop thinking about her. She's on my mind 24/7 and I don't know what to do."
"Listen, I understand. Trust me, before Sam and I got together, I would fantasize about her as she made free throws in practice. I could hardly concentrate on my coaching as well, but I knew that there was a task at hand. We gotta stay focused. We've come to far to back down."
"I know, I know."
"I mean, don't you wanna beat those guys from San Diego on their home court?"
"Of course I do."
"Then stop day-dreaming and blow your whistle. I think you ought to give the final speech of the night."
"Alright, Coach."
I blew my whistle.
"Okay, guys! Bring it in!"
They did as I commanded.
"We face Team Vegas in the first round. The last time we played them, we barely hung on for a narrow win. I think we ought to show these guys how much we've improved in the past four months."
There was some hooting and hollering from the team.
"Now get some rest, enjoy your seders, and I'll see you all at the airport Wednesday morning. Take your laps and hit the showers!"
I got my stuff together as I saw Ben's girlfriend Sam approach him.
"My parents won't be home until 9:00. Let's go back to my place and take advantage of the empty house."
"Alright, but I think I should take a shower first."
"You can take a shower there."
"Oh. Oh! I see what you're doing."
They kissed.
"Let's go."
They kissed again and left.
The next day, I got a text message from Ben saying I needed meet him at By the Slice for an emergency lunch. It would also be our final bread-meal for seven days.
"Is everything okay?"
"Here's what happened."
Ben told me about what happened when he went to Sam's house that night. Like they had been doing for about a month, the two had sex and then cuddled.
"And that's when she sprung the big news on me."
"What was the news?"
This was the news:
"I'm moving to Israel."
"What?"
"What?"
"That was my exact response."
"I know. I just read the pink font five lines up."
"Oh. Anyways, Mac, what am I supposed to do?"
"Ben, being that I dumped a girl recently because I was gonna be in Florida, which is still on the same continent, I'd say that I'm not the one to ask for advice on this subject."
"She's gonna be in Israel, Mac. Israel! That's 7,462 miles away!"
"I take it you looked that up on the internet last night."
"What else was I supposed to do? It's not like I could sleep."
"This is really getting to you."
"I love her, Mac. She's beautiful, and amazing, and she's crazy about me! Do you know what it's like to be with a girl who is all those things?"
"Yes. I call it life."
"Well...fuck you."
"Why don't you just live in the moment and not worry about the future? I mean, when does she leave for Israel?"
"After Passover."
"What? That soon?"
"She's gonna do the rest of her schooling online and is gonna take some Hebrew classes before she has to report to the Army in June."
"Wow. That's soon."
"Yup. I don't know what to do, Mac."
"I wish I could help you, Ben. Like I said, I'm the wrong person to ask for advice on the subject."
"Clearly!"
I felt bad for my best friend. He had never been in love before, and now that he was, she was gonna be leaving in a very short amount of time to a place where they speak a language that we only use during synagogue. On top of all that, he had to focus on coaching. That was gonna be the hard part, especially because the girl leaving him for Israel was our star player!
Needless to say, I was now more stressed out than ever about my job as assistant coach, knowing that my head coach would possibly be emotionally disabled during gameplay. Brittany called me the next night, and she couldn't have chosen a better time to call me and take my mind off of things.
"That sounds like a romantic complication."
"I like that wording. I just wish I could help him."
"Hmm. Well, I don't know how you can help him...but I know how I can help you."
"Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?"
"Check your e-mail."
I checked my e-mail and saw that Brittany had sent me a nice little picture of her in a white robe. I could only speculate what was under it.
"You couldn't have lost the robe for the picture?"
"What would be the fun in that? I don't wanna just give it away."
"So you're keeping me in suspense."
"Precisely."
"You're good, Zieglar."
"Have I taken over your mind yet?"
"You did that a long time ago."
"God, I can't wait to kiss the lips that speak those words."
"I can't wait for you to kiss them."
I looked at the time and realized that it was really late.
"I better go. I have a flight to catch in the morning."
"Okay, I understand. Just leave me wanting more."
"I'll see you in San Diego."
"Goodnight, Mac."
I hung up the phone. Suddenly, all thoughts having to do with basketball were out of my head.
The next day, I was ready to get on a flight with Ben, Sam, and the rest of the team. When I got to the airport, I saw a couple faces I hadn't anticipated seeing.
"Hey, Mac!"
"Aaron. Always a pleasure."
I was being completely fake when I told my former rival Aaron Youngston that it was always a pleasure. It was anything but a pleasure to be around that guy.
Close behind him was my ex-girlfriend (who happened to be his current girlfriend) Melinda.
"Hi, Michael."
"Hello, Melinda. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Aaron and I are both so excited to see you guys in the tournament."
"Are you?"
I looked in the corner of my eye and saw Ben and Sam having a bit of an argument at the gate.
"I thought we would've at least talked about it, Ben. Instead, you said 'Oh', put your clothes on, and left without a word."
"What was I supposed to say? The woman I love tells me she's moving 7,000 miles away in a week and expects me to know exactly what to say! Well, baby, here's a news flash: I didn't know what to say."
"You could've said something. Something other than 'Oh'!"
"Did you want me to beg you not to go? Because I'm sure that would've gone over well."
"I guess you'll never know if it would've gone over well because you didn't do it!"
The announcement that our flight was boarding came over the loudspeaker.
"I'm gonna see if Mac wants to switch seats with me. For some reason, I just really don't feel like sitting with you."
And that's how I ended up sitting next to Ben instead of sitting across from Aaron and Melinda. It kinda worked out in my favor, but I felt bad for my friend again.
"God, Mac, she makes me so mad! I mean, it's not like I could've said anything to change her mind."
"You're probably right."
"I just wish she could've waited until after the tournament to spring this news on me, Mac. I mean, just the other day I gave you a lecture on staying focused. And here I am, not even taking a second to look at my game notes or my lineup."
"That's okay, Ben. I can look at the lineup."
"Do you think we ought to bench her?"
I gave Ben a look of disgust.
"You're thinking about benching our best player because you're upset at a situation?!"
"Yeah, I guess that was a stupid idea."
"You're damn right it was a stupid idea. If we wanna have any chance at winning this game, we need both of you guys out there consistently throughout the game. I can hang back on the bench and coach from there. It's better to have a coach on the bench at all times.
"You mean you want me and her on the court together?"
"Listen, Ben, you're the head coach and you're gonna make whatever decision you're gonna make, but my suggestion is to have all our powerhouses out there. You and Sam are powerhouses."
"So are you? Why can't I coach from the bench?"
"You're much better than me, Ben. Having you out there would be more useful than having me out there. Trust my judgment here, Ben."
Ben groaned.
"Listen, Shaq and Kobe played together for years and hated each other, yet they were able to work well together because they left it all on the court. Can you please just do that? At least until the tournament is over? I don't know about you, but I really wanna win this thing."
He reluctantly nodded.
"Thank you. So it's settled."
"I suppose so."
The rest of the flight was quiet. We got off the plane and headed to Beth Shalom Synagogue in San Diego, the sight of the tournament. We were all immediately greeted by Gahl Sinai and Rivka Pasternak, who had recently become an item.
"Mac-Attack! Ben!"
"Gahl, Rivka."
I hugged both of them. It was good to see them, though it was kinda weird that they were now dating. I hooked up with Rivka a couple times, so it was interesting to see her with one of my best friends. Even with it being weird, both of them were happy and I was happy for them.
"We volunteered to be your team escorts throughout the tournament."
"Team escorts?"
"Basically, it's up to us to get you guys to the locker room on time."
"Speaking of which, let's get the team over there so you can get settled."
"Our game doesn't start for another two hours."
"Oh, we know, but we just wanted to make sure you guys are ahead of the schedule."
The one thing I could say about the tournament thusfar was that it was very organized.
We got to the locker room and dressed out into our brand new uniforms provided by West Coast USY. They were like the basketball uniforms that the pros wear, with the numbers sewn on and the last names on the back of the jersey. I felt proud to grab my jersey: Maccabbi #5.
It was at that moment, as we were suiting up, that all of the personal drama between certain members of the team didn't matter anymore, because we all had just one goal. That goal, of course, was to beat Team Vegas and go on to the finals to eventually win the tournament.
We walked out onto the court, and I looked up in the stands to see Brittany Zieglar cheering louder than anyon else. I nodded my head and winked at her as I led my team to the bench.
"The noise is on our side right now, so let's give the people what they came here to see!!!"
The team seemed inspired by that one sentence. I didn't feel that I needed to say anything else.
Ben and I walked to halfcourt to shake hands with the referees and with Steve Schuckman, the head goon of Team Vegas and the ex-boyfriend of Sam. He very fakely wished us luck as the buzzer rang. The teams then took their positions. As soon as the referee blew his whistle, the ball was tipped off and the game began.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
The 18th Birthday in the Life of the Mac-Attack
Today, I am a man!
I'm not talking about when I became a man at my bar-mitzvah, or how I became a man when I lost my virginity last year. I'm talking about becoming a man legally!
My parents decided that they'd use this very special day to be cool and throw a bad-ass party for my twin brother Darrin and I.
I decided to have some of my friends from California fly in for the party. The Friday afternoon before the party, I went to the airport to pick up Gahl Sinai, Jake Josephson, and Max Altman.
"Mac!"
"Happy Birthday, Mac!"
"Thanks, guys! Hey, where's Jake?"
As if on cue, Jake Josephson walked up to us very slowly. He was moping.
"Hi."
"Hey, Jake. How are you."
"Fine."
He wasn't saying much of anything.
"Uh, okay. Good talk."
I looked at Gahl and Max.
"What's up?"
"Well, you know how Jake and Tara broke up...again?"
"Yeah."
"Well, last week, they got back together...again."
"Again?"
"Again."
"So why is he moping?"
"Because they broke up."
"Again?"
"Again."
"I swear, those two are so inconsistent that it drives me crazy."
We all looked at Jake who was sitting in the fetal position.
"Jake!"
There was a pause before Jake uttered a soft: "Yes?"
"Mac is gonna drive us back to his place now. You bought the plane ticket; you are gonna stay with us over the weekend. Right?"
"Yes. Yes I am."
He picked himself up and walked toward us.
"Sorry, Mac."
"That's quite alright, but we have to get back to my house for Shabbat dinner. My sister and her husband are gonna be there."
"I didn't know you had a sister. What's her name?"
"I'd rather not say."
"But I'm gonna be meeting her tonight. I should probably know her name.
I looked at Max and Gahl who both gave me very unsure looks.
"Her name is--"
I wished I could have left my sister's name out of this, but I knew that he would have to find out her name eventually. I couldn't back out now. He would've been suspicious.
"Her name is Tara, Jake."
"Her name is TARA?"
Jake began crying. I'll tell ya: in the last month, I had seen Jake cry on more occasions that I ever had in the entire four years we've known each other.
We arrived at my house where my buddy from Tuscon, Mohawk Barnes, had already gotten in.
"Mac-Attack!"
"Hey, Mohawk!"
"Gahl, Max! Hey, Jake! Who died?"
Jake began crying again. I explained the situation to Mohawk and he immediately apologized to Jake.
"I had no idea, bro. Jeez, how many times have your broken up?"
"This was the third time."
"Now that's what I call inconsistency."
"YOU THINK?! Oh, why can't things just go back to the way they used to be?"
He continued to cry as Darrin joined us.
"Oh, lovely. The National Honors Society is here."
Everyone, less a crying Jake, laughed at Darrin's comment.
"How are ya, Darrin?"
"I'm good--I see you still have the mohawk, Mohawk."
"That's why they call me 'Mohawk', Darrin."
"Really? I had no idea!"
Mohawk didn't exactly have an appreciation for Darrin's sarcasm, though the rest of us thought the comment was funny.
"Hi, Max. Hi, Gahl."
"Hi, Darrin."
"Hello, Darrin."
"Hi, Jake."
Jake acknowledged Darrin's presence and continued to cry.
"He's in a really good mood."
"Oh yeah. He's just glowing with excitement."
"So, Darrin, when are your choir friends gonna get here?"
"Not sure. Maybe in an hour."
"Choir friends?"
"Yeah. I'm in choir at school. You knew that, didn't you?"
"Darrin, I'm pretty sure this is the longest conversation you and I have ever had."
"Oh. Okay, well, anyway, there's like three or four of my choir friends coming over tonight and there will be a ton of them at the party tomorrow night."
Gahl suddenly had a thought.
"Darrin, can you repeat what you just said?"
"Three or four of my choir friends are coming over tonight?"
"Not that. The second part of it."
"There will be a ton of them at the party tomorrow night."
"Girls?"
"Yeah, quite a few."
Gahl looked at me, looked at Jake, and then looked at me again.
"Say, Darrin, do any of these girls get a little crazy at parties?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are they into...you know?"
"You mean sex?"
"Well, one of the girls has slept with every guy in the choir...except for me."
"Is she into heartbroken Jews from California?"
"Gahl, what are you thinking?"
We all looked at Jake.
"Gentlemen, we have an objective for this weekend."
That night, we had Shabbat dinner at my house. Darrin three choir friends at the house: his best friend Frank Mitchell, his best female friend Leila Sky, and the girl we hoped to set Jake up with, Ali Fallman. My best friend Ben showed up right as we were about to say the Kiddush (the prayer for the wine).
It was nice having my sister Tara and my brother-in-law Mark over at the house. It had been a couple months since I had last seen them. Tara's pregnancy was really starting to show, as she was six months along.
"So, Mark and I have some very exciting news for all of you."
"Tara, we all know you're pregnant. It's kinda obvious."
"You just interrupted me. Why would you interrupt me? That's just so rude!"
Mark leaned over to me.
"Gotta love these hormones. Mood swings every day."
I laughed.
"Quiet, you two! I need to tell everyone my news!"
"I actually thought we could, you know, tell them together."
"I'm the one who's carrying them!"
It suddenly got quiet. My father was the first to speak.
"Them?"
"Oh, well, I suppose the cat is out of the bag."
"My ex-girlfriend was allergic to cats."
Jake began crying at the table. Me and Gahl tried to console him as I digested the information that my sister was about to give.
"Tara and I are having twins!"
"Really? I would've never guessed when Tara said 'them'!"
"That's great, Mark! I'm so happy for you two."
My younger brother JT stood up.
"This is just FANTABULOUS! Let's propose a toast."
"I love that idea! There's nothing more important at this very moment than the fact that I'm carrying twins."
"Ahem."
"Oh, please. It's just a birthday. This has to do with me!"
"And me!"
My pregnant sister and her husband began making out at the table. She then whispered something in his ear and walked away.
"Well, that's our cue to leave. Mom, thanks for the wonderful meal. I'll see you all tomorrow night!"
Mark got up from the table very quickly to prepare for a night that would most definitely involve sex with a pregnant lady.
After dinner, we all decided we'd give our plan a little test-drive.
"I have some dishes to do. Hey, Gahl, wanna help me in the kitchen?"
"Sure. Hey, Mohawk, you should help us out in there."
"Sure thing."
"I'll put the left-overs away. Hey, Max, wanna help me with that?"
"I love putting left-overs away! It's my favorite chore at home."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
We all went into the kitchen. Soon, it was just Jake, Darrin, and Darrin's choir friends. But not for long.
"So, Leila, my mom got this new cookbook written by this lady named Giada. Interested?"
"Yeah! Let's take a look."
"Is this the same Giada who is on TV?"
"It sure is."
"She's beautiful. Let's all take a look!"
They left the room, and suddenly we were all in the kitchen listening in on a conversation that we took the time to set up.
"So, I guess it's just you and me now."
"I guess so."
He wasn't crying, but though a beautiful (and very easy) girl was talking to him, he wasn't very cheerful.
"We haven't formally met yet. I'm Ali."
"I'm Jake."
"You seem sad, Jake."
"Well, it might have to do with the fact that I am."
Ali seemed to sympathize with him...either that or she was just really horny and wanted to get into bed.
"If you don't mind my asking, why are you so sad?"
"It's personal."
Suddenly, we were all doubting the plan. Ali was obviously flirting with him, hoping he would open up. However, he was a closed book.
"Jesus, he's blowing it."
"I know. How can you not open up to a girl who looks like that?"
"Especially when she's completely willing to open up for him...if you know what I mean."
"Maybe he's shy."
"You don't know him like we do, Leila. Jake has never been shy."
"Not even around women?"
"Especially not around women."
We continued listening and heard Ali get up from the table.
"Well, I think I'm gonna join the others in the kitchen. It was nice meeting you, Jake."
As she began to walk toward the kitchen, Jake stood up.
"You wanna know why I'm sad? Do you really wanna know?"
"Listen, Jake, it's not really my business."
"I was in a relationship with an incredible girl since sophomore year. That's two years! And then she just decides that we ought not be together anymore. And then we get back together. And then we break up. And then we get back together. And then we break up. It's just so--"
"Inconsistent?"
"That's the exact word people always use. And quite frankly, I'm sick of that word."
"I'm sure there's another word that means the same thing."
"I mean that I wish it wasn't so inconsistent. I wish that there was some security in this relationship. Truth is, I have no idea if this is actually the end or if she's just saying it's the end this week."
"Don't you have a say in it?"
"One would think!"
Ali moved closer to him as they continued to talk.
"Whoa. I think it might be working."
"It was a natural move on his part. People don't like to be left alone, so when someone seems to be leaving, the person puts pressure on himself in order to keep the other person in the room."
"That's deep, dude. You should be a therapist!"
We went back to listening in on the conversation.
"So, I wanna just completely change the subject right now because I'd like to ask you a question."
"Sure. I was kinda tired of talking about that anyway. Thanks, by the way. That felt great."
"It usually does. Anyway, here's the question: have you spent much time in Phoenix?"
"I've been here a few times for USY events and to see Mac-Attack."
"Well, I've lived here my whole life. Would you be interested in a personal tour of the city tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I'd like that. But we'll need to be back here in time for the party."
"Don't worry. We'll be back in plenty of time. I can pick you up from here at 6 AM."
"6 AM? Isn't that a bit early?"
"Yup."
Jake thought for a moment.
"Say 'yes', you idiot!"
"Shh!"
Then suddenly:
"6 AM sounds perfect."
"Alright. I'll see you then."
About a minute later, Jake came into the kitchen.
"So that's why you must pre-heat the oven before you cook a meal."
"It's all so clear to me now."
"You could teach Home Economics, Darrin!"
Jake stared at all of us.
"Well, I better be going now. Come on, Leila, I'll give you a ride."
"Alright. Goodnight, everyone."
The two of them left.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to bed. Big day tomorrow."
Darrin went upstairs, leaving just me, Ben, Mohawk, Gahl, Max, and Jake.
"So, that Ali chick seemed pretty hot."
"Yeah, she's pretty. I kinda have a date with her tomorrow."
"Yeah, we heard--uh, I mean, that's great!"
"She's gonna be here at 6 AM, so I better get some sleep."
"Alright. Goodnight, Jake."
When our friend left the room, we all engaged in silent victory cheers.
The next day, Ali picked up Jake from my house and drove him over to Piestewa Peak (formerly known as Squaw Peak), one of the most breathtaking mountains in the Phoenix area. At the summit of the mountain, you can see everything.
"So that's where the Cardinals play, isn't it?"
"Yup. And it you turn the other way, you can see downtown."
"Wow. Have you been up here a lot?"
"Yeah. I like to go up here and just think about how good I have it."
"I take it you have doubts."
"Everyday."
"Why, if I may ask?"
She took a deep breath.
"You just met me last night, so you probably haven't noticed this about me. I have a very low level self-respect."
"Why? You're beautiful."
"Thanks. I get that a lot."
"If you get it a lot, you should believe it."
"I usually get it from the wrong people. The wrong guys usually."
"Well, did you ever stop to think that there might be a right guy?"
"None of the ones I've been with have been the right guy, and trust me, I've been with a lot of guys."
"We've all done something we're not proud of."
"Or someone."
Jake digested the comment before responding.
"I've only been with one girl. My ex-girlfriend Tara. She was my first and only."
"You're very lucky. I wish I'd never been with any guy. So much drama."
Jake got close to her.
"Not all of us are bad."
She gripped his hand as he stroked her hair.
"I know that now."
It was at that moment that Jake and Ali kissed at the very top of the mountain, with the city of Phoenix as their only witness.
A couple hours later, Jake came back to my place in a better mood than I had seen him in over a month.
"Good morning, Jake."
"Hey."
Max pulled me aside.
"He didn't do the mopey 'hi'! This is a good sign."
We all surrounded our friend, hoping for details.
"So, how did it go?"
Jake couldn't stop smiling.
"The smile on your face must mean it went well."
"You could say that."
"You're blushing, dude."
"And I've never noticed how straight your teeth are. You must've had an amazing orthodontist!"
We all gave Ben a strange look.
"My dad is a dentist. I notice these things."
There was a silence.
"Moving on, Jake, we need details."
"You know I don't kiss and tell."
"So you kissed her?"
"I just said I don't kiss and tell."
There was a pause.
"I totally kissed her."
We all began cheering.
"It felt so--different."
"How so?"
"Well, it's just that prior to this morning, I had never kissed anyone but Tara. To say the least, I was scared at first. But once I did it, it felt amazing."
"I'm happy for ya, buddy."
"Can I assume you'll be ditching all of us to hang out with her at the party tonight?"
"Would you be totally upset?"
"Well, it's just that I'm turning 18 and--I'm just kidding! Of course I won't be upset. Spend more time with her."
"Thanks, Mac. You're the best!"
"I know, I know."
Several hours later, the party was getting started. My USY crowd was there, Darrin's choir people were there, and my parents' adult friends who I had never met were there.
"Mac-Attack!"
I don't know if I've ever been at a party that B wasn't at.
"Thanks for coming, man."
"Thanks for inviting me."
He looked over at Jake, who was having a nice conversation with Ali.
"I guess Tara is long-forgotten."
"I'm sure she's not long-forgotten, B. Jake deserves to have a little fun coming off of such a tough break-up."
"Yeah, yeah. Any girls for me here?"
"There's a whole group of choir girls over there. Knock yourself out."
He looked at the girls and looked at me.
"God I love birthday parties."
He walked away.
I looked up after about three minutes and saw Ben walking upstairs with his girlfriend Sam. Gahl walked over to me after witnessing the same thing.
"They better not be using my room. I can tell you that much."
Gahl laughed.
"He sure has come a long way since Ariel Woods."
"Yup. She's a great girl. I'm glad he's happy."
"Speaking of great girls, I have to go call mine. You know how Rivka gets."
"Alright, man. Go call your girlfriend."
I looked around the room and saw that everyone seemed to have someone. Everyone except for me, that is. It was actually a feeling that wasn't exactly familiar. To be honest, I didn't like the feeling much at all. As the music played and people began to dance, I knew very well that I was the only one without a partner.
"Hello, Michael!"
I turned around and saw my ex-girlfriend Melinda standing before me.
"Hi, Melinda."
"Happy Birthday!"
We hugged.
"Thanks. Hey, they're playin' some good music. How about a dance?"
"You know, I'd really love to, but--"
"Hey, Melinda, they're playing our song!"
I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing in front of me was none other than Melinda's ex-boyfriend, and my former friend-turned-rival, Aaron Youngston.
"Aaron?"
"Hiya, Mac."
He shook my hand.
"I had heard you were in Israel."
"Yup. I spent the first semester of this year over there. After I resigned from the board, I was able to grab the last spot on this program. It was incredible. I was telling Melinda here all about it when we ran into each other last month."
"Last month?"
"Yeah. Surely she told you that we've been seeing each other again."
I looked at Melinda who was speechless.
"She must have failed to mention it."
It was awkwardly silent until I broke it.
"Well, you two go enjoy the music. It was good to see ya, Aaron. We'll catch up on things soon."
"Yeah. Sounds good."
A little background for those of you who haven't been reading my blog forever and ever: Aaron and Melinda were together the summer after junior year. However, she still had unresolved feelings for me and she left him, which worked out in my benefit because then her and I got together. But then we broke up in January. I suppose she'd been back together with Aaron at this point for a bit over a month.
This bit of new information could've very easily destroyed my evening. Luckliy, a chance phone call salvaged my life.
"Hello, stranger."
"Hi, Brittany. It's good to hear your voice."
I was glad that Brittany Zieglar called me. No one else could've turned my mood around so quickly.
"Did you know that we'll be seeing each other one week from Wednesday?"
"Yeah, that's right. The tournament starts Wednesday night."
"Which means we'll have all day before the game to...catch up on things."
"I like the sound of that."
I suddenly heard voices calling my name. I knew that I should probably get back to my party guests.
"Listen, Brit, I gotta go. I'll call ya tomorrow or something."
"I'm gonna hold you to that."
"Sounds good."
"Oh, and Mac-Attack?"
"Yes?"
"Happy Birthday."
Hearing those words come from her made me smile like I hadn't smiled in a long time.
"Thanks. I'll talk to ya later."
"Okay. Bye."
I hung up the phone and rejoined my friends.
Mohawk started driving back to Tuscon after breakfast the next day. After he left, I had three friends who I needed to drop off at the airport. Before we could head out to the car, there was a knock at the door. I wasn't surprised to see that it was Ali.
"Hi, Mac."
"Hey. Did you wanna come in?"
"No, this will just take a sec. Can I see Jake?"
"Yeah. He's in the other room. Let me go get him for ya."
A minute later, Jake was outside talking to Ali.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"So, this weekend was amazing."
"It was."
"I'm really gonna miss you, Ali."
"I'm gonna miss you too, Jake."
They kissed.
"Well, I have your number. Maybe I can call you."
"You could do that...but I doubt you will."
"What do you mean?"
She thought really hard about what she was about to say before she spoke.
"We both know that you're going to get back together with your girlfriend when you get back to L.A."
"First of all, she's my ex-girlfriend, and secondly, why would you assume that?"
"Because I'm sure that as much as you're gonna miss me when you leave, you miss her 100 times more right now."
Jake considered the theory.
"You know what? You're right. I do miss Tara. I miss her a lot."
Ali nodded and fought back tears.
"It doesn't mean I'm not going to miss you, though. It doesn't take away from the fact that I had an amazing weekend with you and that I'll remember it the rest of my life."
They kissed again, long and good.
"Jake! We're gonna miss our flight!"
Jake and Ali chuckled.
"I gotta go."
They kissed one more time, this time just a peck.
"Goodbye, Jake."
"Bye, Ali."
She had one more thing to say as Jake walked toward the car.
"Jake?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for being a good guy. It was nice to know how it felt to be around one."
Jake smiled and got in the car. I drove my friends to the airport, said my goodbyes, and then took the long way home so I could think for a while. For once in my life, I didn't have a whole lot running through my mind. There was only one thing: get through the next week and a half so I can get ready for the WCUSY Basketball Passover Tournament. However, it wasn't basketball that was on my mind. It was Brittany Zieglar, and the thought of seeing her again.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
I'm not talking about when I became a man at my bar-mitzvah, or how I became a man when I lost my virginity last year. I'm talking about becoming a man legally!
My parents decided that they'd use this very special day to be cool and throw a bad-ass party for my twin brother Darrin and I.
I decided to have some of my friends from California fly in for the party. The Friday afternoon before the party, I went to the airport to pick up Gahl Sinai, Jake Josephson, and Max Altman.
"Mac!"
"Happy Birthday, Mac!"
"Thanks, guys! Hey, where's Jake?"
As if on cue, Jake Josephson walked up to us very slowly. He was moping.
"Hi."
"Hey, Jake. How are you."
"Fine."
He wasn't saying much of anything.
"Uh, okay. Good talk."
I looked at Gahl and Max.
"What's up?"
"Well, you know how Jake and Tara broke up...again?"
"Yeah."
"Well, last week, they got back together...again."
"Again?"
"Again."
"So why is he moping?"
"Because they broke up."
"Again?"
"Again."
"I swear, those two are so inconsistent that it drives me crazy."
We all looked at Jake who was sitting in the fetal position.
"Jake!"
There was a pause before Jake uttered a soft: "Yes?"
"Mac is gonna drive us back to his place now. You bought the plane ticket; you are gonna stay with us over the weekend. Right?"
"Yes. Yes I am."
He picked himself up and walked toward us.
"Sorry, Mac."
"That's quite alright, but we have to get back to my house for Shabbat dinner. My sister and her husband are gonna be there."
"I didn't know you had a sister. What's her name?"
"I'd rather not say."
"But I'm gonna be meeting her tonight. I should probably know her name.
I looked at Max and Gahl who both gave me very unsure looks.
"Her name is--"
I wished I could have left my sister's name out of this, but I knew that he would have to find out her name eventually. I couldn't back out now. He would've been suspicious.
"Her name is Tara, Jake."
"Her name is TARA?"
Jake began crying. I'll tell ya: in the last month, I had seen Jake cry on more occasions that I ever had in the entire four years we've known each other.
We arrived at my house where my buddy from Tuscon, Mohawk Barnes, had already gotten in.
"Mac-Attack!"
"Hey, Mohawk!"
"Gahl, Max! Hey, Jake! Who died?"
Jake began crying again. I explained the situation to Mohawk and he immediately apologized to Jake.
"I had no idea, bro. Jeez, how many times have your broken up?"
"This was the third time."
"Now that's what I call inconsistency."
"YOU THINK?! Oh, why can't things just go back to the way they used to be?"
He continued to cry as Darrin joined us.
"Oh, lovely. The National Honors Society is here."
Everyone, less a crying Jake, laughed at Darrin's comment.
"How are ya, Darrin?"
"I'm good--I see you still have the mohawk, Mohawk."
"That's why they call me 'Mohawk', Darrin."
"Really? I had no idea!"
Mohawk didn't exactly have an appreciation for Darrin's sarcasm, though the rest of us thought the comment was funny.
"Hi, Max. Hi, Gahl."
"Hi, Darrin."
"Hello, Darrin."
"Hi, Jake."
Jake acknowledged Darrin's presence and continued to cry.
"He's in a really good mood."
"Oh yeah. He's just glowing with excitement."
"So, Darrin, when are your choir friends gonna get here?"
"Not sure. Maybe in an hour."
"Choir friends?"
"Yeah. I'm in choir at school. You knew that, didn't you?"
"Darrin, I'm pretty sure this is the longest conversation you and I have ever had."
"Oh. Okay, well, anyway, there's like three or four of my choir friends coming over tonight and there will be a ton of them at the party tomorrow night."
Gahl suddenly had a thought.
"Darrin, can you repeat what you just said?"
"Three or four of my choir friends are coming over tonight?"
"Not that. The second part of it."
"There will be a ton of them at the party tomorrow night."
"Girls?"
"Yeah, quite a few."
Gahl looked at me, looked at Jake, and then looked at me again.
"Say, Darrin, do any of these girls get a little crazy at parties?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are they into...you know?"
"You mean sex?"
"Well, one of the girls has slept with every guy in the choir...except for me."
"Is she into heartbroken Jews from California?"
"Gahl, what are you thinking?"
We all looked at Jake.
"Gentlemen, we have an objective for this weekend."
That night, we had Shabbat dinner at my house. Darrin three choir friends at the house: his best friend Frank Mitchell, his best female friend Leila Sky, and the girl we hoped to set Jake up with, Ali Fallman. My best friend Ben showed up right as we were about to say the Kiddush (the prayer for the wine).
It was nice having my sister Tara and my brother-in-law Mark over at the house. It had been a couple months since I had last seen them. Tara's pregnancy was really starting to show, as she was six months along.
"So, Mark and I have some very exciting news for all of you."
"Tara, we all know you're pregnant. It's kinda obvious."
"You just interrupted me. Why would you interrupt me? That's just so rude!"
Mark leaned over to me.
"Gotta love these hormones. Mood swings every day."
I laughed.
"Quiet, you two! I need to tell everyone my news!"
"I actually thought we could, you know, tell them together."
"I'm the one who's carrying them!"
It suddenly got quiet. My father was the first to speak.
"Them?"
"Oh, well, I suppose the cat is out of the bag."
"My ex-girlfriend was allergic to cats."
Jake began crying at the table. Me and Gahl tried to console him as I digested the information that my sister was about to give.
"Tara and I are having twins!"
"Really? I would've never guessed when Tara said 'them'!"
"That's great, Mark! I'm so happy for you two."
My younger brother JT stood up.
"This is just FANTABULOUS! Let's propose a toast."
"I love that idea! There's nothing more important at this very moment than the fact that I'm carrying twins."
"Ahem."
"Oh, please. It's just a birthday. This has to do with me!"
"And me!"
My pregnant sister and her husband began making out at the table. She then whispered something in his ear and walked away.
"Well, that's our cue to leave. Mom, thanks for the wonderful meal. I'll see you all tomorrow night!"
Mark got up from the table very quickly to prepare for a night that would most definitely involve sex with a pregnant lady.
After dinner, we all decided we'd give our plan a little test-drive.
"I have some dishes to do. Hey, Gahl, wanna help me in the kitchen?"
"Sure. Hey, Mohawk, you should help us out in there."
"Sure thing."
"I'll put the left-overs away. Hey, Max, wanna help me with that?"
"I love putting left-overs away! It's my favorite chore at home."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
We all went into the kitchen. Soon, it was just Jake, Darrin, and Darrin's choir friends. But not for long.
"So, Leila, my mom got this new cookbook written by this lady named Giada. Interested?"
"Yeah! Let's take a look."
"Is this the same Giada who is on TV?"
"It sure is."
"She's beautiful. Let's all take a look!"
They left the room, and suddenly we were all in the kitchen listening in on a conversation that we took the time to set up.
"So, I guess it's just you and me now."
"I guess so."
He wasn't crying, but though a beautiful (and very easy) girl was talking to him, he wasn't very cheerful.
"We haven't formally met yet. I'm Ali."
"I'm Jake."
"You seem sad, Jake."
"Well, it might have to do with the fact that I am."
Ali seemed to sympathize with him...either that or she was just really horny and wanted to get into bed.
"If you don't mind my asking, why are you so sad?"
"It's personal."
Suddenly, we were all doubting the plan. Ali was obviously flirting with him, hoping he would open up. However, he was a closed book.
"Jesus, he's blowing it."
"I know. How can you not open up to a girl who looks like that?"
"Especially when she's completely willing to open up for him...if you know what I mean."
"Maybe he's shy."
"You don't know him like we do, Leila. Jake has never been shy."
"Not even around women?"
"Especially not around women."
We continued listening and heard Ali get up from the table.
"Well, I think I'm gonna join the others in the kitchen. It was nice meeting you, Jake."
As she began to walk toward the kitchen, Jake stood up.
"You wanna know why I'm sad? Do you really wanna know?"
"Listen, Jake, it's not really my business."
"I was in a relationship with an incredible girl since sophomore year. That's two years! And then she just decides that we ought not be together anymore. And then we get back together. And then we break up. And then we get back together. And then we break up. It's just so--"
"Inconsistent?"
"That's the exact word people always use. And quite frankly, I'm sick of that word."
"I'm sure there's another word that means the same thing."
"I mean that I wish it wasn't so inconsistent. I wish that there was some security in this relationship. Truth is, I have no idea if this is actually the end or if she's just saying it's the end this week."
"Don't you have a say in it?"
"One would think!"
Ali moved closer to him as they continued to talk.
"Whoa. I think it might be working."
"It was a natural move on his part. People don't like to be left alone, so when someone seems to be leaving, the person puts pressure on himself in order to keep the other person in the room."
"That's deep, dude. You should be a therapist!"
We went back to listening in on the conversation.
"So, I wanna just completely change the subject right now because I'd like to ask you a question."
"Sure. I was kinda tired of talking about that anyway. Thanks, by the way. That felt great."
"It usually does. Anyway, here's the question: have you spent much time in Phoenix?"
"I've been here a few times for USY events and to see Mac-Attack."
"Well, I've lived here my whole life. Would you be interested in a personal tour of the city tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I'd like that. But we'll need to be back here in time for the party."
"Don't worry. We'll be back in plenty of time. I can pick you up from here at 6 AM."
"6 AM? Isn't that a bit early?"
"Yup."
Jake thought for a moment.
"Say 'yes', you idiot!"
"Shh!"
Then suddenly:
"6 AM sounds perfect."
"Alright. I'll see you then."
About a minute later, Jake came into the kitchen.
"So that's why you must pre-heat the oven before you cook a meal."
"It's all so clear to me now."
"You could teach Home Economics, Darrin!"
Jake stared at all of us.
"Well, I better be going now. Come on, Leila, I'll give you a ride."
"Alright. Goodnight, everyone."
The two of them left.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to bed. Big day tomorrow."
Darrin went upstairs, leaving just me, Ben, Mohawk, Gahl, Max, and Jake.
"So, that Ali chick seemed pretty hot."
"Yeah, she's pretty. I kinda have a date with her tomorrow."
"Yeah, we heard--uh, I mean, that's great!"
"She's gonna be here at 6 AM, so I better get some sleep."
"Alright. Goodnight, Jake."
When our friend left the room, we all engaged in silent victory cheers.
The next day, Ali picked up Jake from my house and drove him over to Piestewa Peak (formerly known as Squaw Peak), one of the most breathtaking mountains in the Phoenix area. At the summit of the mountain, you can see everything.
"So that's where the Cardinals play, isn't it?"
"Yup. And it you turn the other way, you can see downtown."
"Wow. Have you been up here a lot?"
"Yeah. I like to go up here and just think about how good I have it."
"I take it you have doubts."
"Everyday."
"Why, if I may ask?"
She took a deep breath.
"You just met me last night, so you probably haven't noticed this about me. I have a very low level self-respect."
"Why? You're beautiful."
"Thanks. I get that a lot."
"If you get it a lot, you should believe it."
"I usually get it from the wrong people. The wrong guys usually."
"Well, did you ever stop to think that there might be a right guy?"
"None of the ones I've been with have been the right guy, and trust me, I've been with a lot of guys."
"We've all done something we're not proud of."
"Or someone."
Jake digested the comment before responding.
"I've only been with one girl. My ex-girlfriend Tara. She was my first and only."
"You're very lucky. I wish I'd never been with any guy. So much drama."
Jake got close to her.
"Not all of us are bad."
She gripped his hand as he stroked her hair.
"I know that now."
It was at that moment that Jake and Ali kissed at the very top of the mountain, with the city of Phoenix as their only witness.
A couple hours later, Jake came back to my place in a better mood than I had seen him in over a month.
"Good morning, Jake."
"Hey."
Max pulled me aside.
"He didn't do the mopey 'hi'! This is a good sign."
We all surrounded our friend, hoping for details.
"So, how did it go?"
Jake couldn't stop smiling.
"The smile on your face must mean it went well."
"You could say that."
"You're blushing, dude."
"And I've never noticed how straight your teeth are. You must've had an amazing orthodontist!"
We all gave Ben a strange look.
"My dad is a dentist. I notice these things."
There was a silence.
"Moving on, Jake, we need details."
"You know I don't kiss and tell."
"So you kissed her?"
"I just said I don't kiss and tell."
There was a pause.
"I totally kissed her."
We all began cheering.
"It felt so--different."
"How so?"
"Well, it's just that prior to this morning, I had never kissed anyone but Tara. To say the least, I was scared at first. But once I did it, it felt amazing."
"I'm happy for ya, buddy."
"Can I assume you'll be ditching all of us to hang out with her at the party tonight?"
"Would you be totally upset?"
"Well, it's just that I'm turning 18 and--I'm just kidding! Of course I won't be upset. Spend more time with her."
"Thanks, Mac. You're the best!"
"I know, I know."
Several hours later, the party was getting started. My USY crowd was there, Darrin's choir people were there, and my parents' adult friends who I had never met were there.
"Mac-Attack!"
I don't know if I've ever been at a party that B wasn't at.
"Thanks for coming, man."
"Thanks for inviting me."
He looked over at Jake, who was having a nice conversation with Ali.
"I guess Tara is long-forgotten."
"I'm sure she's not long-forgotten, B. Jake deserves to have a little fun coming off of such a tough break-up."
"Yeah, yeah. Any girls for me here?"
"There's a whole group of choir girls over there. Knock yourself out."
He looked at the girls and looked at me.
"God I love birthday parties."
He walked away.
I looked up after about three minutes and saw Ben walking upstairs with his girlfriend Sam. Gahl walked over to me after witnessing the same thing.
"They better not be using my room. I can tell you that much."
Gahl laughed.
"He sure has come a long way since Ariel Woods."
"Yup. She's a great girl. I'm glad he's happy."
"Speaking of great girls, I have to go call mine. You know how Rivka gets."
"Alright, man. Go call your girlfriend."
I looked around the room and saw that everyone seemed to have someone. Everyone except for me, that is. It was actually a feeling that wasn't exactly familiar. To be honest, I didn't like the feeling much at all. As the music played and people began to dance, I knew very well that I was the only one without a partner.
"Hello, Michael!"
I turned around and saw my ex-girlfriend Melinda standing before me.
"Hi, Melinda."
"Happy Birthday!"
We hugged.
"Thanks. Hey, they're playin' some good music. How about a dance?"
"You know, I'd really love to, but--"
"Hey, Melinda, they're playing our song!"
I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing in front of me was none other than Melinda's ex-boyfriend, and my former friend-turned-rival, Aaron Youngston.
"Aaron?"
"Hiya, Mac."
He shook my hand.
"I had heard you were in Israel."
"Yup. I spent the first semester of this year over there. After I resigned from the board, I was able to grab the last spot on this program. It was incredible. I was telling Melinda here all about it when we ran into each other last month."
"Last month?"
"Yeah. Surely she told you that we've been seeing each other again."
I looked at Melinda who was speechless.
"She must have failed to mention it."
It was awkwardly silent until I broke it.
"Well, you two go enjoy the music. It was good to see ya, Aaron. We'll catch up on things soon."
"Yeah. Sounds good."
A little background for those of you who haven't been reading my blog forever and ever: Aaron and Melinda were together the summer after junior year. However, she still had unresolved feelings for me and she left him, which worked out in my benefit because then her and I got together. But then we broke up in January. I suppose she'd been back together with Aaron at this point for a bit over a month.
This bit of new information could've very easily destroyed my evening. Luckliy, a chance phone call salvaged my life.
"Hello, stranger."
"Hi, Brittany. It's good to hear your voice."
I was glad that Brittany Zieglar called me. No one else could've turned my mood around so quickly.
"Did you know that we'll be seeing each other one week from Wednesday?"
"Yeah, that's right. The tournament starts Wednesday night."
"Which means we'll have all day before the game to...catch up on things."
"I like the sound of that."
I suddenly heard voices calling my name. I knew that I should probably get back to my party guests.
"Listen, Brit, I gotta go. I'll call ya tomorrow or something."
"I'm gonna hold you to that."
"Sounds good."
"Oh, and Mac-Attack?"
"Yes?"
"Happy Birthday."
Hearing those words come from her made me smile like I hadn't smiled in a long time.
"Thanks. I'll talk to ya later."
"Okay. Bye."
I hung up the phone and rejoined my friends.
Mohawk started driving back to Tuscon after breakfast the next day. After he left, I had three friends who I needed to drop off at the airport. Before we could head out to the car, there was a knock at the door. I wasn't surprised to see that it was Ali.
"Hi, Mac."
"Hey. Did you wanna come in?"
"No, this will just take a sec. Can I see Jake?"
"Yeah. He's in the other room. Let me go get him for ya."
A minute later, Jake was outside talking to Ali.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"So, this weekend was amazing."
"It was."
"I'm really gonna miss you, Ali."
"I'm gonna miss you too, Jake."
They kissed.
"Well, I have your number. Maybe I can call you."
"You could do that...but I doubt you will."
"What do you mean?"
She thought really hard about what she was about to say before she spoke.
"We both know that you're going to get back together with your girlfriend when you get back to L.A."
"First of all, she's my ex-girlfriend, and secondly, why would you assume that?"
"Because I'm sure that as much as you're gonna miss me when you leave, you miss her 100 times more right now."
Jake considered the theory.
"You know what? You're right. I do miss Tara. I miss her a lot."
Ali nodded and fought back tears.
"It doesn't mean I'm not going to miss you, though. It doesn't take away from the fact that I had an amazing weekend with you and that I'll remember it the rest of my life."
They kissed again, long and good.
"Jake! We're gonna miss our flight!"
Jake and Ali chuckled.
"I gotta go."
They kissed one more time, this time just a peck.
"Goodbye, Jake."
"Bye, Ali."
She had one more thing to say as Jake walked toward the car.
"Jake?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for being a good guy. It was nice to know how it felt to be around one."
Jake smiled and got in the car. I drove my friends to the airport, said my goodbyes, and then took the long way home so I could think for a while. For once in my life, I didn't have a whole lot running through my mind. There was only one thing: get through the next week and a half so I can get ready for the WCUSY Basketball Passover Tournament. However, it wasn't basketball that was on my mind. It was Brittany Zieglar, and the thought of seeing her again.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friends and Relationships in the Life of the Mac-Attack
Since there isn't a whole lot of drama happening in my life right now, I've decided to update you on some friends of mine and the drama surrounding their lives. I'm going to start with my friends from L.A., Jake Josephson and Tara Hudson.
Jake and Tara have been together since sophomore year. Recently, they broke up and got back together shortly after. Since then, the two have been very insecure about the position of their relationship. They have both become extremely paranoid. I noticed this when I went to L.A. this past weekend to visit my Grandma in Malibu.
"Jake!"
Jake didn't know that I was gonna be in town, but Tara did. I hoped to surprise my good friend, but instead, I got this reaction:
"Mac-Attack? You're in town? Tara, did you know about this?"
"Yeah. I picked him up from the airport."
"You didn't tell me?"
"I wanted to surprise you."
Jake looked at me.
"Mac, can you excuse us for a second?"
"Um, okay."
As soon as I was gone:
"Why would he tell you and not me? I'm just as close with him as you are, Tara. I think he has a thing for you. And the worst part is this: it's highly probable that you have a thing for him!"
"You're being ridiculous, Jake. It's just Mac."
"And every girl wants Mac. You're gonna tell me you don't find him attractive?"
"So I suppose it's okay for you to find other girls attractive, but it's not okay for me to find other guys attractive. Is that how it is?"
"What are you getting at?"
"When we rented "The Time Traveler's Wife" and you couldn't keep your eyes off of Rachel McAdams. I bet you were wishing you could leave me for her!"
"So you are attracted to Mac."
"No, I'm not. I'm showing you how stupid you are."
Suddenly, Jake kissed Tara.
"I understand. That was irrational and I'm sorry."
"It's okay, but we need to stop fighting. I don't wanna lose you, baby. I love you too much."
"I love you more."
I then felt it was safe to come out from hiding.
"Hi, Mac."
He hugged me as if everything was normal.
"Hello, Jake. Uh, are you surprised?"
"Yup. I'm glad to see ya, big guy."
"Big guy?"
The next day, after going to services over at my grandmother's synagogue in Malibu, I drove into the San Fernando Valley and visited Gahl Sinai, my best USY friend. He enlightened me on the situation between Tara and Jake.
"It's been like that since the game last month. As soon as they got back together, they became insecure and stopped getting along so well."
"Except when they're making out."
"Who doesn't get along when they're making out?"
"Good point."
I was brought back for a moment to a date that I had last year. The entire time, the girl was interrogating me about my reputation. When I dropped her off at her house, she spent five minutes making out with me. Though we didn't get along for most of the date, we sure got along during those five minutes.
"So, speaking of making out, do you have a girl right now?"
"Actually, I kinda do."
"Tell me more."
"I'm not sure that I should."
"Come on, Gahl. You've never failed to tell me something about your love life."
"That's because I haven't had much of one."
I laughed.
"Who is it? Do I know her?"
"I'm afraid you know her very well."
"So who is it?"
Gahl took a deep breath.
"Okay, you need to promise not to punch me. This is kinda against the Bro Code."
"I won't punch you. Who's your girl, Sinai?"
"I'm--I'm kinda seeing Rivka Pasternak."
Well, that certainly wasn't who I was expecting. Rivka Pasternak was a girl I hooked up with last year. I had relatively strong feelings for her at that point, but those feelings had long passed by now.
"Rivka?"
"Yes. I'm sorry, Mac."
"Sorry? Why are you sorry?"
"I know how much you liked her."
"Yeah. A year ago!"
"You mean it's okay?"
"Gahl, it's not like I'm the only guy in USY who has hooked up with her. I'm certainly not the most recent one. Her and I are friends. Nothing more."
"Wow. Thanks, Mac-Attack!"
"You don't need to thank me, man. Have fun with her and treat her right. That's all."
I hung out with Gahl for another hour before we headed to Universal City to have dinner with our friend Max Altman.
"So, did Gahl tell you about his lady-friend?"
"Yes, Max, I told him."
"Jealous, Mac?"
"I gotta ask you, Max, why would I be jealous? I've been in three relationships since then!"
Max laughed.
"What about you? You seeing anyone these days?"
"Nah. Though I did hook up with Missy Weinberg last weekend at a dance."
"Didn't you go out with Missy last summer, Max?"
"Yeah."
"And you hooked up with her again?"
"Yeah."
"Is she the same one that ordered you to call her five times a day while you were in Washington DC?"
"Yeah."
"So you dump her because she's a little crazy. Then you hook up with her after a few months, knowing how crazy she is."
"Pretty much."
"You can be a dumbass sometimes."
"Strangely enough, I can live with that."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
I came home late the next night, so I took the day off from school. However, I got a phone call during the late afternoon that would tell me exactly what I missed.
"Mac, I need some advice. Can you meet me for dinner?"
Ben sounded like he had a real emergency.
"Yeah. Let's do By the Slice around 7."
"Alright. Perfect."
When I got to By the Slice, Ben was already at a table. He was a mess.
"What's up?"
"It's Sam."
Sam Bernstein was Ben's girlfriend. The way he looked, it seemed that she may have broken up with him. This couldn't be good.
"She didn't break up with you, did she?"
"No. Worse."
What could be worse than a break-up?
"Mac, I'm in love with her."
A very accurate answer to my question.
"Well...Congratulations!"
"Yeah, right."
"Doesn't she love you too?"
"I have no idea. Why would she?"
"Well, she's dating you, and she's very obviously crazy about you."
"If she loves me, why hasn't she told me?"
"You haven't told her, Ben. Maybe she's waiting for you to make the first move."
Ben buried his face in his arms. Obviously, he didn't have much confidence in his relationship.
"What is it with all the insecurity in the world these days?"
"What do you mean?"
"I was in California this weekend and I hung out with Tara and Jake. They are so insecure about their relationship. It's not even funny."
"Why would they be insecure?"
"Well, they broke up last month and then got back together. Now, I suppose they are worried that they'll break up again."
"Interesting. Anyways, what am I supposed to do about this Sam thing?"
"Ben, you need to tell her how you feel. I'll bet you anything she feels the same way."
Ben looked at me, suddenly with pride.
"You know what? I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna tell her right now!"
He stood up and began walking.
"Ben!"
"What?"
"You wanna leave money for the tip?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry."
He walked back to the table, put down 5 dollars, and walked out. I was suddenly eating alone, so I decided to make a phone call to someone I had been thinking of quite often.
Meanwhile, back in California, Jake and Tara were having a phone conversation of their own.
"Are you thinking of leaving me for that girl in our Pre-Calculus class?"
"Hell no. Are you talking about Rita Jones?"
"That's the one. I saw you flirting with her."
"I loaned her a pencil. Jesus, Tara, why is there always the third degree?"
"I just don't wanna lose you."
"If you don't start trusting me, you are gonna lose me."
"You don't trust me much more, Mister. You totally lost it when I picked Mac up at the airport."
"Cus I don't wanna lose you either."
"God, why can't we just trust each other?"
"I don't know. Maybe getting back together was a bad idea."
"Maybe. So, we're done?"
"It would appear that way."
After the mutual break-up, they mutually hung up their phones.
Back in Phoenix, Ben was pulling up to Sam's driveway. She saw him pull up through her bedroom window and immediately ran outside.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
"I have to tell you something."
"Do you wanna come in? My parents are out right now."
"Yeah. That'd be nice."
They went inside her house. It was a nice house; two stories, with marble on the walls and a tile floor in the kitchen.
"It's a good home. I don't think I've ever been inside."
"We're always in public or at your house where your mom won't give us any alone time. My parents probably wouldn't give us much privacy either."
"Well, we have plenty of privacy now."
"We do."
They kissed.
"Now, what did you need to tell me?"
He took a deep breath.
"I love you."
She didn't seem surprised.
"I love you too."
Ben did seem surprised.
"You do?"
"Of course I do."
He kissed her.
"Wow, I'm so glad you do."
They kissed again.
"Because I love you so much."
"I've loved you since that night on the basketball court. The night we had our first kiss."
Once again, they kissed.
"Really."
Another kiss.
"Yes."
And another kiss.
And soon, there was no more talking. There was just kissing, and lots of it. Shortly after, there was more than just kissing. They began removing articles of each other's clothing and heading up to Sam's bedroom. They got onto her bed and continued to kiss.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely. I want you to make love to me. Don't you want to?"
"Of course."
She handed him a condom.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
They kissed again and then the rest is history. The two had sex for the first time that night. I knew it as soon as Ben got to school the next day. He was ridiculously happy.
"You got laid, didn't you?"
"Damn right I did. And with the woman I love."
"So she loves you back."
"Hell yeah."
"Didn't I tell ya?"
"You did. So, how was your night? I'm sorry I bailed on you."
"It's cool, bro. My night was okay."
"What did you do?"
"I ate and I went home."
"That's all?"
"Well, I also got to talk to someone."
"Who?"
The special someone I called was none other than Brittany Zieglar of Las Vegas. We talked for two hours about practically nothing. Sometimes, those are the best conversations.
"Brittany Zieglar. Why am I not surprised?"
"Because she's basically perfect."
"You know, I would be jealous, but my girl isn't just basically perfect. She is perfect."
"Well, I'm seeing Brittany in a few weeks. The Passover Tournament Championship in San Diego next month. Since it's over Spring Break, her and a few other Vegas people are gonna come out and watch the basketball games."
"Looks like basketball won't be the only thing on your mind while we're in San Diego."
"Nope. I suppose not."
Relationships are an interesting concept, one of which I do not take lightly. However, I take having fun very lightly. At this point in my life, as I watched the drama unfold in the relationship of Tara and Jake, and as I witnessed Ben and Sam take the next big step in their romance, I was happy to just be single. Being single gives us the freedom to do what I love doing best, which is having a good time. I knew that come next month, when I would finally be seeing Brittany again, I would be having the time of my life.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Jake and Tara have been together since sophomore year. Recently, they broke up and got back together shortly after. Since then, the two have been very insecure about the position of their relationship. They have both become extremely paranoid. I noticed this when I went to L.A. this past weekend to visit my Grandma in Malibu.
"Jake!"
Jake didn't know that I was gonna be in town, but Tara did. I hoped to surprise my good friend, but instead, I got this reaction:
"Mac-Attack? You're in town? Tara, did you know about this?"
"Yeah. I picked him up from the airport."
"You didn't tell me?"
"I wanted to surprise you."
Jake looked at me.
"Mac, can you excuse us for a second?"
"Um, okay."
As soon as I was gone:
"Why would he tell you and not me? I'm just as close with him as you are, Tara. I think he has a thing for you. And the worst part is this: it's highly probable that you have a thing for him!"
"You're being ridiculous, Jake. It's just Mac."
"And every girl wants Mac. You're gonna tell me you don't find him attractive?"
"So I suppose it's okay for you to find other girls attractive, but it's not okay for me to find other guys attractive. Is that how it is?"
"What are you getting at?"
"When we rented "The Time Traveler's Wife" and you couldn't keep your eyes off of Rachel McAdams. I bet you were wishing you could leave me for her!"
"So you are attracted to Mac."
"No, I'm not. I'm showing you how stupid you are."
Suddenly, Jake kissed Tara.
"I understand. That was irrational and I'm sorry."
"It's okay, but we need to stop fighting. I don't wanna lose you, baby. I love you too much."
"I love you more."
I then felt it was safe to come out from hiding.
"Hi, Mac."
He hugged me as if everything was normal.
"Hello, Jake. Uh, are you surprised?"
"Yup. I'm glad to see ya, big guy."
"Big guy?"
The next day, after going to services over at my grandmother's synagogue in Malibu, I drove into the San Fernando Valley and visited Gahl Sinai, my best USY friend. He enlightened me on the situation between Tara and Jake.
"It's been like that since the game last month. As soon as they got back together, they became insecure and stopped getting along so well."
"Except when they're making out."
"Who doesn't get along when they're making out?"
"Good point."
I was brought back for a moment to a date that I had last year. The entire time, the girl was interrogating me about my reputation. When I dropped her off at her house, she spent five minutes making out with me. Though we didn't get along for most of the date, we sure got along during those five minutes.
"So, speaking of making out, do you have a girl right now?"
"Actually, I kinda do."
"Tell me more."
"I'm not sure that I should."
"Come on, Gahl. You've never failed to tell me something about your love life."
"That's because I haven't had much of one."
I laughed.
"Who is it? Do I know her?"
"I'm afraid you know her very well."
"So who is it?"
Gahl took a deep breath.
"Okay, you need to promise not to punch me. This is kinda against the Bro Code."
"I won't punch you. Who's your girl, Sinai?"
"I'm--I'm kinda seeing Rivka Pasternak."
Well, that certainly wasn't who I was expecting. Rivka Pasternak was a girl I hooked up with last year. I had relatively strong feelings for her at that point, but those feelings had long passed by now.
"Rivka?"
"Yes. I'm sorry, Mac."
"Sorry? Why are you sorry?"
"I know how much you liked her."
"Yeah. A year ago!"
"You mean it's okay?"
"Gahl, it's not like I'm the only guy in USY who has hooked up with her. I'm certainly not the most recent one. Her and I are friends. Nothing more."
"Wow. Thanks, Mac-Attack!"
"You don't need to thank me, man. Have fun with her and treat her right. That's all."
I hung out with Gahl for another hour before we headed to Universal City to have dinner with our friend Max Altman.
"So, did Gahl tell you about his lady-friend?"
"Yes, Max, I told him."
"Jealous, Mac?"
"I gotta ask you, Max, why would I be jealous? I've been in three relationships since then!"
Max laughed.
"What about you? You seeing anyone these days?"
"Nah. Though I did hook up with Missy Weinberg last weekend at a dance."
"Didn't you go out with Missy last summer, Max?"
"Yeah."
"And you hooked up with her again?"
"Yeah."
"Is she the same one that ordered you to call her five times a day while you were in Washington DC?"
"Yeah."
"So you dump her because she's a little crazy. Then you hook up with her after a few months, knowing how crazy she is."
"Pretty much."
"You can be a dumbass sometimes."
"Strangely enough, I can live with that."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
I came home late the next night, so I took the day off from school. However, I got a phone call during the late afternoon that would tell me exactly what I missed.
"Mac, I need some advice. Can you meet me for dinner?"
Ben sounded like he had a real emergency.
"Yeah. Let's do By the Slice around 7."
"Alright. Perfect."
When I got to By the Slice, Ben was already at a table. He was a mess.
"What's up?"
"It's Sam."
Sam Bernstein was Ben's girlfriend. The way he looked, it seemed that she may have broken up with him. This couldn't be good.
"She didn't break up with you, did she?"
"No. Worse."
What could be worse than a break-up?
"Mac, I'm in love with her."
A very accurate answer to my question.
"Well...Congratulations!"
"Yeah, right."
"Doesn't she love you too?"
"I have no idea. Why would she?"
"Well, she's dating you, and she's very obviously crazy about you."
"If she loves me, why hasn't she told me?"
"You haven't told her, Ben. Maybe she's waiting for you to make the first move."
Ben buried his face in his arms. Obviously, he didn't have much confidence in his relationship.
"What is it with all the insecurity in the world these days?"
"What do you mean?"
"I was in California this weekend and I hung out with Tara and Jake. They are so insecure about their relationship. It's not even funny."
"Why would they be insecure?"
"Well, they broke up last month and then got back together. Now, I suppose they are worried that they'll break up again."
"Interesting. Anyways, what am I supposed to do about this Sam thing?"
"Ben, you need to tell her how you feel. I'll bet you anything she feels the same way."
Ben looked at me, suddenly with pride.
"You know what? I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna tell her right now!"
He stood up and began walking.
"Ben!"
"What?"
"You wanna leave money for the tip?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry."
He walked back to the table, put down 5 dollars, and walked out. I was suddenly eating alone, so I decided to make a phone call to someone I had been thinking of quite often.
Meanwhile, back in California, Jake and Tara were having a phone conversation of their own.
"Are you thinking of leaving me for that girl in our Pre-Calculus class?"
"Hell no. Are you talking about Rita Jones?"
"That's the one. I saw you flirting with her."
"I loaned her a pencil. Jesus, Tara, why is there always the third degree?"
"I just don't wanna lose you."
"If you don't start trusting me, you are gonna lose me."
"You don't trust me much more, Mister. You totally lost it when I picked Mac up at the airport."
"Cus I don't wanna lose you either."
"God, why can't we just trust each other?"
"I don't know. Maybe getting back together was a bad idea."
"Maybe. So, we're done?"
"It would appear that way."
After the mutual break-up, they mutually hung up their phones.
Back in Phoenix, Ben was pulling up to Sam's driveway. She saw him pull up through her bedroom window and immediately ran outside.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
"I have to tell you something."
"Do you wanna come in? My parents are out right now."
"Yeah. That'd be nice."
They went inside her house. It was a nice house; two stories, with marble on the walls and a tile floor in the kitchen.
"It's a good home. I don't think I've ever been inside."
"We're always in public or at your house where your mom won't give us any alone time. My parents probably wouldn't give us much privacy either."
"Well, we have plenty of privacy now."
"We do."
They kissed.
"Now, what did you need to tell me?"
He took a deep breath.
"I love you."
She didn't seem surprised.
"I love you too."
Ben did seem surprised.
"You do?"
"Of course I do."
He kissed her.
"Wow, I'm so glad you do."
They kissed again.
"Because I love you so much."
"I've loved you since that night on the basketball court. The night we had our first kiss."
Once again, they kissed.
"Really."
Another kiss.
"Yes."
And another kiss.
And soon, there was no more talking. There was just kissing, and lots of it. Shortly after, there was more than just kissing. They began removing articles of each other's clothing and heading up to Sam's bedroom. They got onto her bed and continued to kiss.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely. I want you to make love to me. Don't you want to?"
"Of course."
She handed him a condom.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
They kissed again and then the rest is history. The two had sex for the first time that night. I knew it as soon as Ben got to school the next day. He was ridiculously happy.
"You got laid, didn't you?"
"Damn right I did. And with the woman I love."
"So she loves you back."
"Hell yeah."
"Didn't I tell ya?"
"You did. So, how was your night? I'm sorry I bailed on you."
"It's cool, bro. My night was okay."
"What did you do?"
"I ate and I went home."
"That's all?"
"Well, I also got to talk to someone."
"Who?"
The special someone I called was none other than Brittany Zieglar of Las Vegas. We talked for two hours about practically nothing. Sometimes, those are the best conversations.
"Brittany Zieglar. Why am I not surprised?"
"Because she's basically perfect."
"You know, I would be jealous, but my girl isn't just basically perfect. She is perfect."
"Well, I'm seeing Brittany in a few weeks. The Passover Tournament Championship in San Diego next month. Since it's over Spring Break, her and a few other Vegas people are gonna come out and watch the basketball games."
"Looks like basketball won't be the only thing on your mind while we're in San Diego."
"Nope. I suppose not."
Relationships are an interesting concept, one of which I do not take lightly. However, I take having fun very lightly. At this point in my life, as I watched the drama unfold in the relationship of Tara and Jake, and as I witnessed Ben and Sam take the next big step in their romance, I was happy to just be single. Being single gives us the freedom to do what I love doing best, which is having a good time. I knew that come next month, when I would finally be seeing Brittany again, I would be having the time of my life.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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