"Love God with all your heart, soul, and might," is how my father's Rosh Hashanah sermon began. You see, it was my father's first High Holiday service as a rabbi, and he was asked to give a sermon about his journey. On this day, I wasn't exactly looking forward to his sermon, as I had heard the story a thousand times.
It always started with "Love God with all your heart, soul, and might," because that's what he did. Ever since he began his journey, Big Al had loved God more than anyone I'd ever known. It was kinda weird at times, but also really cool that he was taking this step in his life.
"There are many ways to interpret this statement from the V'Havta," was always Big Al's follow-up. The truth is, I still think that the statement is pretty straightforward, but people usually start to question themselves when he says that their interpretation isn't the only one. It's kind of a strange effect he has on people.
There was quite a bit on my mind that day at Temple Beth Zion's Rosh Hashanah Services. It had only been about a week and a half since the Labor Day Disneyland trip. I would've been sitting in services with a heavy heart, but since my heart had been taken by Rivka Pasternak, it was hard to feel much of anything but sadness and confusion.
The sad thing was that I was heart-broken over a girl who I had met twice in my life. The first time was a B's party. She saved me from the clutches of my ex-sorta girlfriend Carrie Wilcox. Rivka and I had our first kiss that night. We didn't talk much until the day before the Disneyland trip, and then we saw each other at Disneyland and kissed again, only it was more meaningful that time. I eventually found myself chasing her around Disneyland trying to capture our moment again, only to find out that there was a guy waiting for her back in San Diego. It wasn't a proud moment.
Like I said, it was pretty crazy. I should've been the way that Darren (my twin brother), JT (my younger brother), and Shayna (my mother) were. They had tears of joy in their eyes as they watched Big Al speak about life. Unfortunately, I had tears of regret in my eyes. I can honestly say that no girl has ever gotten me to cry; not until that fateful day when Rivka Pasternak served me a San Diego Special.
"I have always had a deep appreciation for Judaism, but it wasn't until the events of last year that made me realize what I have been put on this Earth to do," my father the Rabbi spoke.
You may be confused about the "events of last year" and what he may be pertaining to. This time last year, Big Al was a healthcare consultant, and he had been one for almost 20 years. He had a pretty good business, self-employed even. It was called "Big Al's Big Consulting Group." He had gotten started with it because of my Grandpa, Sam Maccabbi, who was a veterenarian for many years. In fact, Grandpa Sam was Big Al's first client. Big Al opened an animal hospital for Grandpa called Sam-I-Am-A-Vet (cheesy, I know, but I always thought it was kinda cool).
Well, as good as my father was at consulting, it really burned him out. It caused a lot of stress, which caused a lot of smoking on his part. He was having to travel a lot, which he always hated doing, which wasn't good for him. He was becoming more and more out of shape, and his lungs eventually got so burnt out that one night, he stopped breathing. This turned into a one-month coma, by the way.
Upon leaving the hospital, Big Al decided that he would be a rabbi. He found a program that would take 6-8 months to complete. Once his program was completed, he was able to secure a job for himself right at Temple Beth Zion, the place where I call my second home.
"Upon leaving the hospital, I decided to be a rabbi. I found a program that took 8 months to complete, and then I was able to secure a job right here at Temple Beth Zion, the place my kids have always called their second home."
Wow, the old man must be able to read my mind or something!
"You know, doubt is a funny thing," Big Al continued. "People are always questioning. They question why we are here, they ask why do things happen, and they ask why we don't get everything we want or deserve."
Wouldn't you know it? The old man must be talking about me right now. Perfect example: Why did I chase Rivka around Disneyland when it wasn't even worth it? Why did she kiss me, knowing that I would be led to believe that there was something more? Why did she have to crush my heart when I offered it to her; why couldn't she have just politely declined it and handed it back to me in one peice?
"My realization is that God has a plan. We are all part of it, and even if we get disappointed every once in a while..." That's an understatement! "We must remember that everything that happens to us brings us closer to a bigger purpose. My being sick brought me closer to my goal of being your rabbi. On that note, let us turn to the Musaf service."
HOLD THE PHONE! What did he just say???
"On that note, let us turn to the Musaf service."
No, not that. The thing before that.
"We must remember that everything that happens to us brings us closer to a bigger purpose."
For some reason, I had never heard this part of the sermon. Big Al had never told me about "God's plan" or anything like that. Well, maybe he had, but I had never paid attention to that part before. I suddenly put things into perspective. Maybe I wasn't happy about the fact that nothing happened between me and Rivka, but it obviously wasn't meant to be. I know that God will find another girl for me, after all, being with girls is what the Mac-Attack is all about. I'm sure that's part of God's plan.
I guess I will just have to keep on praying!
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Disneyland Trip in the Life of the Mac-Attack
Summer of 2008 was the best summer ever. B's party was fun, but there were some other really good highlights:
I was reelected to my position on the board of Temple Beth Zion USY (Religion/Education; kinda fits when your dad is the rabbi!)
Melinda was elected Prez and Darren was elected VP.
We found a new hang-out spot; this really great pizza place called By the Slice.
Most importantly, though, I was able to spend the whole summer just hanging out with my friends, and not having to worry about Carrie Wilcox.
Things were going really great. It was unfortunate that summer had to end so soon, but at least I knew that a new school year would mean a new USY year, and a new USY year means REGIONAL EVENTS!!!
West Coast Region USY always has a Disneyland trip over Labor Day Weekend to kick off the new USY year. It was an overnight trip and it was always tons of fun. Ben and I were looking forward to seeing all of our regional friends from California. We always had a lot of fun with them.
It was the day before the trip. I was sitting and watching some TV when my cell phone rang. The Caller ID read 858 555 4256.
I was trying to figure out where 858 was, but then I answered the phone to hear a voice that I had kinda missed.
"Mac, it's Rivka Pasternak!"
My heart leapt. Rivka Pasternak was a girl who I had met a B's party earlier in the summer. Her and I had a brief moment, but we didn't have much of a chance to talk.
"Rivka! Hi. How are you?"
"I'm doing okay; I've been thinking about you a lot."
Music to my ears.
"Me too, Rivka. I haven't been able to get you out of my head."
Then the beauty from San Diego spoke words that I hoped she would say:
"Will you be at Disneyland??"
I was now trying to contain my excitement. I was gonna be at Disneyland with Rivka Pasternak, my San Diego girl.
Trying to sound laid back: "Yeah, I'll be there."
She said: "Okay, good. I was hoping you would say that. I gotta go, but I'll see you at Disney. Bye!"
Had I been dreaming or would I actually be seeing her again? I was most definitely excited.
The next day came, and at midnight on that Saturday night, we arrived at Temple Beth Zion to load the bus. I had been txting with some of my regional friends all day, getting pumped up to see them. As I entered the Youth Center, I saw Melinda sitting with Ben. Also sitting with them was Aaron Youngston, one of our USY friends who had moved to Arizona to Massachusetts the year before. He was a nice guy, but he was very negative about West Coast USY, as he came from Boston/Rhode Island/Connecticuit Region (aka BRI/CONN).
"Hey, guys." I said.
"Hey, Mac," said Ben.
"Hey, Mac," said Aaron.
"Hey Michael," said Melinda. (Melinda refused to call me by my nickname, it was quite frustrating).
Just then, Marryl Moskowitz, our youth director (and Melinda's mom) came into the room.
"Hey, guys. Let's get on the bus and head to DISNEYLAND!!!"
One hundred USYers ran out of the Youth Center and onto the bus. I sat next to Ben, Melinda sat next to Darrin, Aaron sat next to his Boston Red Sox pillow (his best friend). We were on our way to the happiest place on Earth, where my love from San Diego awaited me.
FAST FORWARD SEVERAL HOURS........
We were now at Disneyland. I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but the Mac-Attack LOVES Disneyland. I love Disneyland even more than I love the ladies (wait, I didn't say that!)
I called Rivka.
"Where are you?"
"I'm between Disneyland and California Adventure!"
"I'll be right there. Don't move!"
I ran to where she was. She saw me, she ran to me! We were running to each other and then, we were together, and we didn't stop moving. She jumped up on me and kissed me. It was a great kiss, one that only lasted a little while, but seemed to last forever. It was a great kiss basically.
Suddenly:
"Well, I guess I'll see you later!"
And she was gone.
Suddenly, the really stretched out face of Brian Berg appeared.
"So, you and Rivka getting busy, eh?"
"Not quite, B. I thought we were, but I guess not."
I was really confused, but just then I saw my really good friends Ori Braddok and Max Altman run up to me. I was really glad to see them. Also in the distance, I saw Gahl Sinai, Dean Weiner, and Tara Hudson. Tara was with her boyfriend, Jacob Josephson. There were some other familiar faces too.
"MAC-ATTACK!" is what they said when they saw me, seemingly all at the same time.
"Hey, guys." I said.
I suddenly explained my confusing situation to them. I really was very confused about the whole thing. Even B interjected and told them all about his party and about how Rivka had pined for me at Convention.
Ori looked at me: "This really sucks, Mac. What are you gonna do?"
"I guess I will just have to hang with all you kids for a little while," I said, trying to sound like the inspiration to them that I always had been.
So I did hang with all of them for a while. It wasn't too bad. In fact, we had all just gotten off of Space Mountain when I got a txt from Rivka.
The txt read like this: "I'm @ Splash Mtn. Let's meet up, k?"
I looked up: "I got a txt from Rivka. I'm meeting her at Splash Mountain."
Everybody seemed happy for me.
"Ben, I need you to come with me; I need a wingman."
So he came with me. BUT, as we approached Splash Mountain:
Txt message reads: "I'm @ Thunder Mtn. Line for Splash was too long. I'll wait 4 u."
So we went to Big Thunder Mountain, and then: "I'm @ the Castle. I'm waiting in the front."
Ben looked at me.
"What's so worth it about this girl that we had to leave our friends to go chase her around?"
"There's something about her, Ben. There's something between us, I just know it. I need to find out."
Ben looked at me again.
"Mac, how long have we been best friends?"
"Since 6th Grade, so about 4 years."
"And have I ever given you bad advice?"
"No."
"Then listen to me. The girl isn't worth it."
I took that in for a second, but suddenly Rivka appeared in my eyesight. She was now next to me.
Ben said: "I'll see you later, Mac."
He walked away, but I was finally alone with the beauty from San Diego.
I leaned in to kiss Rivka, but she turned away. "We need to talk, Mac."
Oh no. This wasn't good. I just knew this wasn't good.
"What's wrong, Rivka. I thought we were going to hang out today."
"Truth is...I have a boyfriend, Mac-Attack."
The glass window that was my heart was shattered by the baseball that was her words.
"Rivka...I...what do you want me to say? Just tell me what you want me to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
"What about our kiss this morning?"
"We were caught up in a moment."
"And B's party?"
"That was 3 months ago, Mac."
"And my heart?"
"I didn't set out to hurt you, Mac. In fact, I think we could've really been something. But things happen."
She got really close. She kissed me on the cheek.
"Maybe things will change by the next event. Maybe we'll have another shot."
She walked away. The beauty from San Diego who just tore out my heart and threw it in the garbage walked away. Maybe it was fitting that it started raining at that very moment.
I sat on a bench, getting soaked by the rain, when a familiar face came into view. It was Melinda, and I was glad to see her.
"I saw what happened," she said. "I'm sorry."
Trying to sound tough, I said: "Well, you know, I'll deal, because I'm the Mac-Attack and..."
She wrapped her arms around me, and I was silent. "You're a great guy, Michael. Rivka will regret this. You're gonna find someone else."
Then all of our close friends appeared. Ben, Ori, Gahl, Tara, Jacob, Dean, Max. Darren, B, and Aaron came around as well. I felt embarassed, because here I was, the Mac-Attack, sitting in the middle of a theme park crying over a girl who I barely knew. But at the same time, it was good to know that I had great friends who would still think the same of me.
I guess it took having all my friends around me that made me realize that maybe Rivka hadn't put the broken peices of my heart in the trash; maybe she had put it in the Recycling bin so that I could reuse it for someone else.
After all, the whole world is going green anyway! Maybe Rivka was too.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
I was reelected to my position on the board of Temple Beth Zion USY (Religion/Education; kinda fits when your dad is the rabbi!)
Melinda was elected Prez and Darren was elected VP.
We found a new hang-out spot; this really great pizza place called By the Slice.
Most importantly, though, I was able to spend the whole summer just hanging out with my friends, and not having to worry about Carrie Wilcox.
Things were going really great. It was unfortunate that summer had to end so soon, but at least I knew that a new school year would mean a new USY year, and a new USY year means REGIONAL EVENTS!!!
West Coast Region USY always has a Disneyland trip over Labor Day Weekend to kick off the new USY year. It was an overnight trip and it was always tons of fun. Ben and I were looking forward to seeing all of our regional friends from California. We always had a lot of fun with them.
It was the day before the trip. I was sitting and watching some TV when my cell phone rang. The Caller ID read 858 555 4256.
I was trying to figure out where 858 was, but then I answered the phone to hear a voice that I had kinda missed.
"Mac, it's Rivka Pasternak!"
My heart leapt. Rivka Pasternak was a girl who I had met a B's party earlier in the summer. Her and I had a brief moment, but we didn't have much of a chance to talk.
"Rivka! Hi. How are you?"
"I'm doing okay; I've been thinking about you a lot."
Music to my ears.
"Me too, Rivka. I haven't been able to get you out of my head."
Then the beauty from San Diego spoke words that I hoped she would say:
"Will you be at Disneyland??"
I was now trying to contain my excitement. I was gonna be at Disneyland with Rivka Pasternak, my San Diego girl.
Trying to sound laid back: "Yeah, I'll be there."
She said: "Okay, good. I was hoping you would say that. I gotta go, but I'll see you at Disney. Bye!"
Had I been dreaming or would I actually be seeing her again? I was most definitely excited.
The next day came, and at midnight on that Saturday night, we arrived at Temple Beth Zion to load the bus. I had been txting with some of my regional friends all day, getting pumped up to see them. As I entered the Youth Center, I saw Melinda sitting with Ben. Also sitting with them was Aaron Youngston, one of our USY friends who had moved to Arizona to Massachusetts the year before. He was a nice guy, but he was very negative about West Coast USY, as he came from Boston/Rhode Island/Connecticuit Region (aka BRI/CONN).
"Hey, guys." I said.
"Hey, Mac," said Ben.
"Hey, Mac," said Aaron.
"Hey Michael," said Melinda. (Melinda refused to call me by my nickname, it was quite frustrating).
Just then, Marryl Moskowitz, our youth director (and Melinda's mom) came into the room.
"Hey, guys. Let's get on the bus and head to DISNEYLAND!!!"
One hundred USYers ran out of the Youth Center and onto the bus. I sat next to Ben, Melinda sat next to Darrin, Aaron sat next to his Boston Red Sox pillow (his best friend). We were on our way to the happiest place on Earth, where my love from San Diego awaited me.
FAST FORWARD SEVERAL HOURS........
We were now at Disneyland. I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but the Mac-Attack LOVES Disneyland. I love Disneyland even more than I love the ladies (wait, I didn't say that!)
I called Rivka.
"Where are you?"
"I'm between Disneyland and California Adventure!"
"I'll be right there. Don't move!"
I ran to where she was. She saw me, she ran to me! We were running to each other and then, we were together, and we didn't stop moving. She jumped up on me and kissed me. It was a great kiss, one that only lasted a little while, but seemed to last forever. It was a great kiss basically.
Suddenly:
"Well, I guess I'll see you later!"
And she was gone.
Suddenly, the really stretched out face of Brian Berg appeared.
"So, you and Rivka getting busy, eh?"
"Not quite, B. I thought we were, but I guess not."
I was really confused, but just then I saw my really good friends Ori Braddok and Max Altman run up to me. I was really glad to see them. Also in the distance, I saw Gahl Sinai, Dean Weiner, and Tara Hudson. Tara was with her boyfriend, Jacob Josephson. There were some other familiar faces too.
"MAC-ATTACK!" is what they said when they saw me, seemingly all at the same time.
"Hey, guys." I said.
I suddenly explained my confusing situation to them. I really was very confused about the whole thing. Even B interjected and told them all about his party and about how Rivka had pined for me at Convention.
Ori looked at me: "This really sucks, Mac. What are you gonna do?"
"I guess I will just have to hang with all you kids for a little while," I said, trying to sound like the inspiration to them that I always had been.
So I did hang with all of them for a while. It wasn't too bad. In fact, we had all just gotten off of Space Mountain when I got a txt from Rivka.
The txt read like this: "I'm @ Splash Mtn. Let's meet up, k?"
I looked up: "I got a txt from Rivka. I'm meeting her at Splash Mountain."
Everybody seemed happy for me.
"Ben, I need you to come with me; I need a wingman."
So he came with me. BUT, as we approached Splash Mountain:
Txt message reads: "I'm @ Thunder Mtn. Line for Splash was too long. I'll wait 4 u."
So we went to Big Thunder Mountain, and then: "I'm @ the Castle. I'm waiting in the front."
Ben looked at me.
"What's so worth it about this girl that we had to leave our friends to go chase her around?"
"There's something about her, Ben. There's something between us, I just know it. I need to find out."
Ben looked at me again.
"Mac, how long have we been best friends?"
"Since 6th Grade, so about 4 years."
"And have I ever given you bad advice?"
"No."
"Then listen to me. The girl isn't worth it."
I took that in for a second, but suddenly Rivka appeared in my eyesight. She was now next to me.
Ben said: "I'll see you later, Mac."
He walked away, but I was finally alone with the beauty from San Diego.
I leaned in to kiss Rivka, but she turned away. "We need to talk, Mac."
Oh no. This wasn't good. I just knew this wasn't good.
"What's wrong, Rivka. I thought we were going to hang out today."
"Truth is...I have a boyfriend, Mac-Attack."
The glass window that was my heart was shattered by the baseball that was her words.
"Rivka...I...what do you want me to say? Just tell me what you want me to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
"What about our kiss this morning?"
"We were caught up in a moment."
"And B's party?"
"That was 3 months ago, Mac."
"And my heart?"
"I didn't set out to hurt you, Mac. In fact, I think we could've really been something. But things happen."
She got really close. She kissed me on the cheek.
"Maybe things will change by the next event. Maybe we'll have another shot."
She walked away. The beauty from San Diego who just tore out my heart and threw it in the garbage walked away. Maybe it was fitting that it started raining at that very moment.
I sat on a bench, getting soaked by the rain, when a familiar face came into view. It was Melinda, and I was glad to see her.
"I saw what happened," she said. "I'm sorry."
Trying to sound tough, I said: "Well, you know, I'll deal, because I'm the Mac-Attack and..."
She wrapped her arms around me, and I was silent. "You're a great guy, Michael. Rivka will regret this. You're gonna find someone else."
Then all of our close friends appeared. Ben, Ori, Gahl, Tara, Jacob, Dean, Max. Darren, B, and Aaron came around as well. I felt embarassed, because here I was, the Mac-Attack, sitting in the middle of a theme park crying over a girl who I barely knew. But at the same time, it was good to know that I had great friends who would still think the same of me.
I guess it took having all my friends around me that made me realize that maybe Rivka hadn't put the broken peices of my heart in the trash; maybe she had put it in the Recycling bin so that I could reuse it for someone else.
After all, the whole world is going green anyway! Maybe Rivka was too.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A Summer Party in the Life of the Mac-Attack
The days following Carrie Wilcox's proposition went by slowly. I would sit at home, thinking about calling her, but I remembered the advice that was given to me by my father, Big Al:
"Brush your teeth after every meal, Michael."
No, not that advice. This advice:
"This girl might have STDs."
Yup, that was the advice that I needed to remember. I mean, I knew Carrie didn't have any STDs, but the concept that she could, especially knowing who she had been dating at the time, scared the attack right out of the Mac.
There couldn't have been a better time for the Beginning of Summer Bash. It was during the second week of summer. This obesely overweight guy from USY, Brian Berg (But he just goes by B), always has a big beginning of summer blowout. It was always a tradition for me and Ben (along with my twin brother Darrin and our friend Melinda) to go to this party. We weren't all big fans of B, but his parties were fun. Somehow, the guy was able to get all the hottest girls to show up.
Something you may need to know about B: He is obsessed with the entire concept of the Mac-Attack. In fact, B was the one guy that made me wish that I didn't have a reputation at all, however, he also worked really hard to keep my reputation a good reputation. I guess it doesn't hurt to have a fan.
Melinda, as always, was the designated driver. We pulled into B's driveway around 7:15, that way we could be fashionably late, but not too late. The party seemed to be even hotter than it was the year before. There was a chocolate fountain, a nacho cheese fountain, and a soda fountain (literally, a fountain that was pouring all types of Cokes, Sprites, and Dr. Peppers). The food was always good. I guessed that since B eats so much all the time, he knew a lot about food.
"MY MAIN MAN MAC-ATTACK!!!" I heard in the distance. There he was. An overweight guy, head the size of a watermelon, sideburns that ran down his whole cheeks, and a Los Angeles Dodgers jersey. This was B, my biggest fan (literally and figuratively).
"How you been, B? I haven't seen ya since Convention." I responded politely.
Suddenly, simultaneously, my party companions Darrin, Melinda, and Ben all said: "Is that a Nacho cheese fountain? Let's take a look!"
B put his arm around me and walked me around the house. There was a swimming pool full of girls; in all my years of going to B's party, I have never gone in the pool.
Suddenly, this beautiful girl got out of the pool. She was wearing a tight, navy blue string bikini top and tight bottoms. She had blonde hair and the eyes like an arctic fox.
"B, honey, who is your friend?"
B smiled proudly, as if it were a big deal that he was friends with me.
"Nikki, this is my very close personal friend Michael Maccabbi, aka, the Mac-Attack."
The goddess from the water spoke: "Hey there, Mac-Attack."
This was one of those moments where it was really good to be me.
"B, you didn't tell me you had a girl." I said, hoping that maybe he would say: "She's not my girl, but she's your's if you want her."
"Yup, Nikki's my one and only," B responded. I was then treated to the hardly lawful sight of a big fat guy making out with a blonde beauty.
I couldn't comprehend. Was this B's way of showing me that, yes he was fat and overobsessive, but he can date girls as hot as the ones I can date?
Just then, Ben came walking my way with a huge plate of nachos.
"Hey, Mac, you should really check out that fountain and DUHHHH..." He began drooling like a rabbid dog when he laid eyes on Nikki.
B looked at Ben: "Ben, my girl Nikki. Nikki, this is Ben."
She touched his shoulder and said: "Nice to meet you, Ben."
Ben dropped his nachos. "Mac...a word!"
Ben and I went to the side. Like me, he wasn't really fully understanding.
"B...and her...tongue...bikini...eyes..."
"Yes, Ben, I can't beleive it either."
"But...B...and her..."
"Yeah. I'm shocked."
But then it hit me:
At Convention, B was trying to figure out how to get a girl. I explained my approach: Meet them, joke around with them a little, get her alone, start talking about deep life philosophies, and then you are in. I told him it could work for anyone.
I guess it worked for him as well. At least Nikki wasn't the only hot girl at the party. In fact, I suddenly saw a girl in the distance who was all too familiar.
Carrie Wilcox in the flesh. This was a very...strange surprise.
"Uh, B, can I talk to you a sec?"
"Anything for you, Mac-Attack."
"See that girl," I said. "The one in the purple skirt."
"Yeah," B said to me. "She's friends with one of Nikki's friends. Uh, Karen Wilson or something."
"That's Carrie Wilcox, B."
"Oh. What a nice name."
I couldn't believe that Carrie was there. I also couldn't believe that B would be stupid enough to invite her to his party.
I was so mad that I even said his full name: "BRIAN!!!"
B looked at me strangely.
"Okay, sorry. Do you know her, Mac?"
"Yeah, I know her. She's the girl who I, uh, who I..." (I suddenly remembered that I had a reputation and that I couldn't just go around saying that I turned down sex from a hot girl.)
And then, in half-truth, "She's a stalker. I hot stalker. I, uh, have a restraining order against her."
B looked at me strangely, and then: "Okay. I'll escort her out."
But then--"Michael Maccabbi. Long time, no talk, baby."
Carrie wrapped her arms around me. She then proceeded to graze my lips with her's.
"Have you thought more about my proposition?"
B looked at me strangely. In fact, it wasn't just B looking at me; it was the whole party!
Ben and Melinda tried to get there to save me, but the both tripped. Darrin was busy singing karaoke, so he barely noticed me and Carrie. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed B whisper something to Nikki. Nikki then walked over to the pool and whispered something to one of her bikini-clad friends.
Btw, this all happened while Carrie approached me, kissed me, and asked me the question. Before I could answer, Nikki's bikini-clad friend walked over to the scene. She was even hotter than Nikki. Brown hair, hazel eyes, and a sparkling smile.
"Back away from my boyfriend!!!"
People were silent, and most importantly, I was extremely confused right now. I didn't recall ever meeting this girl, let alone asking her to be my girlfriend!
Then it hit me: this girl was saving my ass!
"Uh, yes Carrie. This is my girlfriend, uh, her name is..."
"Rivka. Rivka Pasternak."
"That's right," I said. "Rivka is my girlfriend now, Carrie."
Carrie looked confused, and then embarrassed.
"Mac, I don't understand. I thought we had something."
I put my arm around my "girlfriend" and said: "You also had something with your boyfriend...all of them."
Carrie looked like she couldn't believe it (which was probably okay, since Rivka wasn't actually my girlfriend),
but even still, Carrie picked up her purse and left. Nobody followed her out.
Soon after that, everyone went back to having a good time. I ran up to B.
"Dude, you really saved me there. How can I thank you?"
"Don't thank me, Mac-Attack," B told me. "Rivka has wanted to meet you since Convention."
Then it hit me. The girl that B wanted at Convention; it was Rivka!
"So she's your Convention girl?" I asked him.
"Yeah, but she was more into you...like they all are."
I stood there, as B walked away, and just stared in awe. I quickly ran to find Rivka.
As she was leaving, I said her name. She turned around.
"Thanks for saving me, Rivka. Maybe we can hang out some time."
"That would be nice, Mac-Attack," she said, "But I'm going back to San Diego tomorrow. Maybe I will see you at a Regional event some time."
She kinda half-kissed me and walked away. Suddenly, after days of confusion, I finally felt like myself again. I guess I'm kinda glad that we went to B's party that night. In fact I was even kinda glad to have a friend like Brian Berg...
But let's not get ahead of ourselves!
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
"Brush your teeth after every meal, Michael."
No, not that advice. This advice:
"This girl might have STDs."
Yup, that was the advice that I needed to remember. I mean, I knew Carrie didn't have any STDs, but the concept that she could, especially knowing who she had been dating at the time, scared the attack right out of the Mac.
There couldn't have been a better time for the Beginning of Summer Bash. It was during the second week of summer. This obesely overweight guy from USY, Brian Berg (But he just goes by B), always has a big beginning of summer blowout. It was always a tradition for me and Ben (along with my twin brother Darrin and our friend Melinda) to go to this party. We weren't all big fans of B, but his parties were fun. Somehow, the guy was able to get all the hottest girls to show up.
Something you may need to know about B: He is obsessed with the entire concept of the Mac-Attack. In fact, B was the one guy that made me wish that I didn't have a reputation at all, however, he also worked really hard to keep my reputation a good reputation. I guess it doesn't hurt to have a fan.
Melinda, as always, was the designated driver. We pulled into B's driveway around 7:15, that way we could be fashionably late, but not too late. The party seemed to be even hotter than it was the year before. There was a chocolate fountain, a nacho cheese fountain, and a soda fountain (literally, a fountain that was pouring all types of Cokes, Sprites, and Dr. Peppers). The food was always good. I guessed that since B eats so much all the time, he knew a lot about food.
"MY MAIN MAN MAC-ATTACK!!!" I heard in the distance. There he was. An overweight guy, head the size of a watermelon, sideburns that ran down his whole cheeks, and a Los Angeles Dodgers jersey. This was B, my biggest fan (literally and figuratively).
"How you been, B? I haven't seen ya since Convention." I responded politely.
Suddenly, simultaneously, my party companions Darrin, Melinda, and Ben all said: "Is that a Nacho cheese fountain? Let's take a look!"
B put his arm around me and walked me around the house. There was a swimming pool full of girls; in all my years of going to B's party, I have never gone in the pool.
Suddenly, this beautiful girl got out of the pool. She was wearing a tight, navy blue string bikini top and tight bottoms. She had blonde hair and the eyes like an arctic fox.
"B, honey, who is your friend?"
B smiled proudly, as if it were a big deal that he was friends with me.
"Nikki, this is my very close personal friend Michael Maccabbi, aka, the Mac-Attack."
The goddess from the water spoke: "Hey there, Mac-Attack."
This was one of those moments where it was really good to be me.
"B, you didn't tell me you had a girl." I said, hoping that maybe he would say: "She's not my girl, but she's your's if you want her."
"Yup, Nikki's my one and only," B responded. I was then treated to the hardly lawful sight of a big fat guy making out with a blonde beauty.
I couldn't comprehend. Was this B's way of showing me that, yes he was fat and overobsessive, but he can date girls as hot as the ones I can date?
Just then, Ben came walking my way with a huge plate of nachos.
"Hey, Mac, you should really check out that fountain and DUHHHH..." He began drooling like a rabbid dog when he laid eyes on Nikki.
B looked at Ben: "Ben, my girl Nikki. Nikki, this is Ben."
She touched his shoulder and said: "Nice to meet you, Ben."
Ben dropped his nachos. "Mac...a word!"
Ben and I went to the side. Like me, he wasn't really fully understanding.
"B...and her...tongue...bikini...eyes..."
"Yes, Ben, I can't beleive it either."
"But...B...and her..."
"Yeah. I'm shocked."
But then it hit me:
At Convention, B was trying to figure out how to get a girl. I explained my approach: Meet them, joke around with them a little, get her alone, start talking about deep life philosophies, and then you are in. I told him it could work for anyone.
I guess it worked for him as well. At least Nikki wasn't the only hot girl at the party. In fact, I suddenly saw a girl in the distance who was all too familiar.
Carrie Wilcox in the flesh. This was a very...strange surprise.
"Uh, B, can I talk to you a sec?"
"Anything for you, Mac-Attack."
"See that girl," I said. "The one in the purple skirt."
"Yeah," B said to me. "She's friends with one of Nikki's friends. Uh, Karen Wilson or something."
"That's Carrie Wilcox, B."
"Oh. What a nice name."
I couldn't believe that Carrie was there. I also couldn't believe that B would be stupid enough to invite her to his party.
I was so mad that I even said his full name: "BRIAN!!!"
B looked at me strangely.
"Okay, sorry. Do you know her, Mac?"
"Yeah, I know her. She's the girl who I, uh, who I..." (I suddenly remembered that I had a reputation and that I couldn't just go around saying that I turned down sex from a hot girl.)
And then, in half-truth, "She's a stalker. I hot stalker. I, uh, have a restraining order against her."
B looked at me strangely, and then: "Okay. I'll escort her out."
But then--"Michael Maccabbi. Long time, no talk, baby."
Carrie wrapped her arms around me. She then proceeded to graze my lips with her's.
"Have you thought more about my proposition?"
B looked at me strangely. In fact, it wasn't just B looking at me; it was the whole party!
Ben and Melinda tried to get there to save me, but the both tripped. Darrin was busy singing karaoke, so he barely noticed me and Carrie. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed B whisper something to Nikki. Nikki then walked over to the pool and whispered something to one of her bikini-clad friends.
Btw, this all happened while Carrie approached me, kissed me, and asked me the question. Before I could answer, Nikki's bikini-clad friend walked over to the scene. She was even hotter than Nikki. Brown hair, hazel eyes, and a sparkling smile.
"Back away from my boyfriend!!!"
People were silent, and most importantly, I was extremely confused right now. I didn't recall ever meeting this girl, let alone asking her to be my girlfriend!
Then it hit me: this girl was saving my ass!
"Uh, yes Carrie. This is my girlfriend, uh, her name is..."
"Rivka. Rivka Pasternak."
"That's right," I said. "Rivka is my girlfriend now, Carrie."
Carrie looked confused, and then embarrassed.
"Mac, I don't understand. I thought we had something."
I put my arm around my "girlfriend" and said: "You also had something with your boyfriend...all of them."
Carrie looked like she couldn't believe it (which was probably okay, since Rivka wasn't actually my girlfriend),
but even still, Carrie picked up her purse and left. Nobody followed her out.
Soon after that, everyone went back to having a good time. I ran up to B.
"Dude, you really saved me there. How can I thank you?"
"Don't thank me, Mac-Attack," B told me. "Rivka has wanted to meet you since Convention."
Then it hit me. The girl that B wanted at Convention; it was Rivka!
"So she's your Convention girl?" I asked him.
"Yeah, but she was more into you...like they all are."
I stood there, as B walked away, and just stared in awe. I quickly ran to find Rivka.
As she was leaving, I said her name. She turned around.
"Thanks for saving me, Rivka. Maybe we can hang out some time."
"That would be nice, Mac-Attack," she said, "But I'm going back to San Diego tomorrow. Maybe I will see you at a Regional event some time."
She kinda half-kissed me and walked away. Suddenly, after days of confusion, I finally felt like myself again. I guess I'm kinda glad that we went to B's party that night. In fact I was even kinda glad to have a friend like Brian Berg...
But let's not get ahead of ourselves!
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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