So finals have ended now and I'm about to go to the West Coast USY Regional Convention. I should be excited out of my mind...right?
Let me give ya'll an update on what's happening with me:
1. I went to prom last weekend with Dara. We had sex that night, but she proceeded to dump me the next day to get back together with her tall and intimidating ex-boyfriend.
2. Also at prom, Melinda confessed to me that she's in love with me, and that she's ALWAYS been in love with me, which means that I must have been completely blind my entire life which is how long I've known Melinda!
3. Upon my break-up with Dara, I decided that it might be a good idea to take a drive. I drove to Melinda's house and kissed her. Then, because I'm just so fucking smart, I got back in my car and drove back home.
Needless to say, my mind was somewhere else upon driving to the airport on that hot Friday morning in May. I was thinking about...whoa, I just realized. You guys have no idea what happened the days following the weekend!
Okay, so Monday was a very awkward day for me. Every morning, I hang out with Melinda and Ben, but it was different this morning.
When I first got to school, it was just Ben there.
"Hey, man."
"Dara broke up with me last night then I went over to Melinda's and kissed her!"
People were looking.
"I'm doing fine, thanks for asking."
"Sorry, Ben, I just needed to tell someone."
"You coulda told it after having a mint."
As you can tell, Ben is definitely a morning person.
"Ben, I don't know what to do about this."
"Well, what happened after you kissed Melinda?"
"I got back in my car and drove home."
"Wow, you really thought things through!"
Just then, Melinda arrived.
"Hi, guys."
"WHAT DID YOU HEAR???"
Once again, people were looking at us.
"Um, nothing?"
I looked at Ben strangely.
"I get paranoid sometimes. It happens."
In case you didn't notice, Ben doesn't do very well in uncomfortable situations.
"I think I'll go to first period early."
Ben walked away. I couldn't tell if he was realizing that he was leaving me alone with Melinda...you know, my best female friend who I had kissed the night before and then ran away!
"Hey, Melinda."
"Hi, Michael."
It was awkward at best.
"So, should we talk about last night?"
"Probably."
There was a pause.
"Dara left me last night. She called and said that I was really just the rebound guy and that she needed to give Ray another chance."
I didn't think I would get any sympathy from Melinda. She hated Dara, mostly because Dara had me and Melinda didn't. I was, however, expecting a little more of a response than what Melinda gave me.
"Good."
Just then, the bell rang.
"Let's hang out tomorrow."
I guess we could probably hang out. Afterall, we were going to be getting out of finals at 11 AM.
"Yeah. Sounds good."
School was pretty much normal on Monday. We had finals on Tuesday and Wednesday, three finals on each day. After that, school would be out for the summer, and I'd be able to celebrate the end of school at Convention the next weekend. Wait...I'm getting ahead of myself. I must tell you about Tuesday!
So all my finals on Tuesday were easy. That's not the important part. What's important is what happened after finals.
Melinda told me to come to her house around noon. She said she'd help me study for my hard finals and stuff. I liked that idea, Melinda really knows her stuff academically. I guess I wasn't thinking about the fact that things between her and I were very complicated, to the point of major confusion.
She opened the door to her house; she was the only one home.
"Glad you could make it."
Suddenly, my mind was somewhere else. I knew I had gone to her house to study for finals, but all I could think about was how FREAKIN HOT she looked!
"Well don't just stand there. Come on in."
I realized how I must have looked just standing and staring at her really sexy button down blouse.
"Oh, uh, sorry," I said nervously as I entered her house. As I walked in, I noticed her holding cold beer. Now, I'm not much of a drinker, but something told me I may need a little alcohol right about now. As soon as she handed me the bottle, I started drinking.
"Wow, slow down. I do have a glass."
She handed me a glass. I wasn't really sure what was about to happen, but I could definitely tell that there would be no studying today.
"I've been wanting this for a long time, Michael," she said as she undid the top two buttons of her blouse. I could see the color of her bra now...black. It was driving me crazy.
"How long have you wanted this?" she asked as she put her hand against my face.
I had never been more nervous to be with a woman before...of course, I had never been given the opportunity to have sex with my best friend...whose parents were MY parents' best friends. I had known Melinda my whole life, and just now I was realizing how sexually appealing she was to me. I had never thought of her this way, and how could I have? This was crazy. Wanna know what else? I had to respond to her question!
"It had never occured to me before."
With that, she got closer. Both her arms were around me and our lips were so close I could almost feel them, but we weren't kissing just yet.
"It's occuring now, isn't it?"
I could feel her hot breath against my lips. This was such an intense moment, and never in a million years did I ever think that I would ever be looking to Melinda in this way. It's safe to say that I was scared...which is why I said something that I already regret saying:
"Melinda, I can't. I'm sorry."
I backed away from her slowly. I think she was too shocked to say anything. I could tell she was upset. All day on Wednesday, as I took my last set of final exams, I couldn't get the images out of my head. I couldn't stop thinking about Melinda and what I could've done with her, what I almost did with her. I tried to piece everything together, trying to make sense out of everything that had happened lately. I thought back to all the times Melinda sat down with me and told me how great she thought I was and that there was more to me than I would ever let other people see...I guess I hadn't thought about the fact that it was her who always saw more in me.
So now I sit here in traffic on the 101 on my way to Sky Harbor Airport, I find myself more confused than I've ever been before. I should be excited, I'm about to go to the West Coast USY Regional Convention. It's always a great weekend.
Who knows? Maybe being with my USY friends will keep my mind off of everything that had happened in the last week.
Except of course for the fact that Melinda is very active in the region and that she's going to be at Convention!
I know what I must do. When we're at Convention, I must tell Melinda exactly how I feel about her...if only I knew what those feelings are.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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