The Day After Prom in the Life of the Mac-Attack

Have you ever been so confused beyond belief that you just really had no idea what you were going to do about it?

Take Prom night for example. Before Prom happened, I was so completely in love with Dara, my first real steady girl. But then comes my best female friend, Melinda, who I've been best friends with my entire life, but suddenly she wants to be more than that! Apparently, she's loved me the whole time and I just never knew! Isn't that just B-E-A-UTIFUL???

You know, my late Grandpa Sam always taught me that once you find the right girl, everything falls into place. I think he was absolutely right. I'll tell you another thing: after prom, I felt that making love to Dara would give me my answer. I figured everything would just fall into place if I just went through with it. Well, I went through with it and the only thing I thought about afterwards was that I may have taken home the wrong girl.

I know it sounds terrible. Here I am, in a serious relationship and completely in love, but now everything is somehow different.

I woke up Sunday morning to see Dara laying in my arms. I was holding her, and as I watched her sleep, I wondered if she was thinking about any of the same things I was thinking about. I mean, just a few days prior, her ex-boyfriend Ray had approached her asking that she take him back. I wondered if she had thought about that at all.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

She was awake.

"Hey, you. How'd you sleep?"
"So good, your bed is so comfortable."

She kissed me.

"It's so great to wake up next to you."
"Yeah, it really is."

I was saying the truth. Sure I may have been confused about our relationship, but waking up next to a beautiful girl is 1000 times better than waking up alone.

"Why don't we hop in the shower and then we can go grab some breakfast?"

That's a terrible idea! How can I take a shower with her and then eat breakfast with her knowing that I'll be thinking of someone else in the back of my mind?!?!

"I love that idea. You get the shower started; I'll join you in a little bit."

She kissed me and then walked into my bathroom. I gave myself a minute to try to wake up and contemplate everything that was going on. I was always taught that things start getting complicated after you have sex, not before.

Suddenly my phone rang. It was Ben.

"Hello," I said, still half asleep.
"Dude, what happened last night?"
"We went to prom."
"No duh, I know that. I mean with you and Melinda!"

I remembered now that Ben was Melinda's date. He was the one that drove her home, she must have had tons to say.

"I can't really talk about it right now. Dara's still here."
"DUDE! What was it like?"
"Like peaches and rainbows, Ben. Can we have lunch today, please? I'm really confused about everything and I'll tell you all about it."
"You're on. By the Slice around 12:30."
"Alright, see you then."

And just like that, I was off to shower with my hot girlfriend. Afterwards, I bought her breakfast at IHOP.

"So I didn't get to ask you--what did you think about prom?"
"Thought it was overrated at best. I think that the dance at Convention this weekend will be way better."

Oh yeah, I didn't mention that West Coast Region USY was holding their annual Regional Convention on the upcoming weekend. I was really excited about it.

"Oh yeah, I wish I could be there. I guess I'll just have to trust you to be a good boy without me, Mr. Mac-Attack!"

She was smiling. Thank God for pancakes, nobody can be in a bad mood when they are eating pancakes...unless of course you happen to run into a former significant other.

"Hi, Dara."

What the hell was Ray doing at the International House of Pancakes? Why couldn't he have breakfast somewhere else?

"Ray," she said. "If you don't mind, I'd like to enjoy my breakfast without vomiting."

This was definitely something that made me love her more. She was really very strong when it came to her asshole ex-boyfriend.

"Dara, I know I was a real tool when it came to us, but you can't deny the fact that it wasn't all bad and that it was mostly good. I still love you, and I know that you still love me too."

Dara usually had a response to this, mostly to the effect of "Fuck off, I'm with Mac now." But she was different in this instance. Before she could say anything, he spoke again.

"You may say you love this guy, but he's really just the rebound. You didn't blink two eyes before going to him, so don't try to tell me that you are completely over me. I've changed, baby, and I know that it was all my fault. What do ya say, are you willing to give me another shot?"

The waitress came with our check before Dara could say anything. Ray proceeded to walk away.

I took my wallet out and payed the check very quickly. Dara and I were silent as we went out to my car. She finally spoke as we got close to her house.

"I thought he would be out of my life for good."

I didn't say anything. I knew she had more to say than just that.

"Everything with you and I had just been going so perfectly. I hadn't thought of him in forever."

Still, I knew she had more to say.

"Now he wants to be back in my life."

Dara looked at me, and suddenly we were at her house.

"I love you, but I've got a lot on my mind right now. Can I text you later."
"Sure. Last night was great, I'll talk to you later."

She got out of my car without kissing me. I wondered if that should foreshadow something bad.

I went home, and my parents were sitting in the living room waiting for me.

"Long night, Michael?" my father started.

I did NOT have time for this. There was too much on my mind for my parents to be lecturing me about sex.

"I could barely sleep last night knowing what you were doing!" my mother added.

Feeling awkward and not knowing what to say:

"Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Dad."

They looked at me with lots of disapproval.

"I'm, uh, meeting Ben for lunch over at By the Slice around 12:30."

They continued to give me the same look. In fact, they weren't even blinking!

Finally:

"Yes, Dara slept here last night. Yes, we had sex. Yes, I didn't tell you guys that it was going to be happening. Yes, I know I'll deal with the consequences later. But PLEASE, don't give me that look like you've watched somebody's head get chopped off and now the blood is all over the brand new carpet. You guys give me that look 24/7 and I think I've had enough of that look!"

As I walked away from my overly-judgmental parents, I heard the applause of an imaginary studio audience.

In a couple short hours, it was time for me to have lunch with Ben over at By the Slice. I was hoping that my best friend could give me some advice...I know, I know. But desperate times call for desperate measures!

"So you actually spent the night with Dara last night. I'm happy for ya, Mac."

Ben raised his glass, but then realized that I wasn't in a real toasting type of mood.

"What did Melinda tell you last night?"

Ben suddenly remembered our phone conversation from earlier.

"Oh, yeah. I remember our phone conversation from earlier now."

It would be nice if he would just start saying it without having to repeat what I had JUST SAID.

"Okay, so I'm driving her home, and she starts asking me what I think of Dara and all that. I told her that I think Dara is great. She then asked me if I thought Dara made you happy."

He paused.

"I asked her why she was asking me. She told me not to worry about it."

I was quiet.

"Mac, what's going on?"
"You know how when you are with someone, everything seems so perfect?"
"I would guess that it would be that way for someone who is in a relationship."

I sometimes forget that Ben has never been in a relationship.

"Ben, Melinda told me last night that she's in love with me. She told me that she's been in love with me forever."
"Holy shit! That's crazy! What did you say?"
"I didn't. Dara got back from the ladies' room before I could say anything."
"And you still slept with Dara?"
"I thought that everything would go back to the way things were if I just went with the plan that I had made before prom even happened."
"Did it work?"
"Oh yeah, things are completely perfect again...NO IT DIDN'T WORK!"

Other customers at By the Slice were looking at us now. I decided to calm down.

"I don't know what to do. Not only is all this going on...Dara's ex-boyfriend has decided to try to get her back."
"Whoa. Mac, this just isn't your day."
"No shit."

The check came.

"I got this. You've got enough on your mind without having to pay for lunch."
"Thanks, man."
"So what are you going to do?"

It was a fair question to ask. I didn't know what I should do. On one hand, I could stay with Dara and hope that the whole thing blows over...but what if it doesn't? I suddenly thought about how quickly everything in our relationship had moved. What if we moved too fast, and what if it was the beginning of the end?

My answer came later that night, around 8:00. I got a text message from Dara that said six words:

"I'm sorry. I can't pretend anymore."

1. I'm
2. Sorry
3. I
4. Can't
5. Pretend
6. Anymore

Hey, I counted right!

I didn't really know exactly what the text message implied. I called Dara, and she answered.

"Ray was right, Mac. You were the rebound guy. I have to give him another chance, we were together for so long."
"Dara, you don't have to do this. I love you."
"Goodbye, Mac-Attack."

Just like that, my relationship with Dara Karpen was over.

I was sitting silently in my room for about half an hour. I didn't really know how to react; I'd never been dumped before.

Finally, around 9:00, I decided to get in my car and just drive. Initially, I didn't know where I was driving to, but it all became clear to me when I got onto Shea Blvd. I drove to a house that I had been to many times; Jewish holidays, Thanksgivings, seders.

I knocked on the door, and standing in front of me, in her pajamas, was Melinda Moskowitz.

"Michael...what are you doing here?"

I couldn't figure out how to get the words to come out of my mouth, so I used my mouth for something else. I pulled Melinda toward me and I kissed her with so much passion that it drove me crazy. She responded by kissing me back even more passionately.

Afterwards, I didn't know what else to do, so I just got back into my car and drove off into the night.

I'm not sure why I drove to Melinda's house that night. Maybe somewhere in my mind I was thinking that she was the one that I wanted. Maybe I had wanted her for a long time and I was just too blind to realize it.

I do know one thing though:

I had thought that making love to Dara would make things go back to the way they were, but it didn't.

I had thought kissing Melinda would end my confusion, but it didn't.

I realized that my confusion was just getting started.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack