Here's a little lesson on Judaism for all you Non-Jewish readers out there:
Thousands of years ago, this guy named Moses was chosen by God to free the Jews from Egypt, where they were being held as slaves. We celebrate our freedom by going a week without eating bread. I don't make the rules, I just follow them because my dad is a rabbi and it would look really bad if I didn't follow them.
The holiday that I described above is called Passover, and even though we all celebrate the holiday for the same basic reason, Passover means something different to everyone. I know that it was my late Grandpa Sam's favorite holiday because when he was growing up, his entire family would spend the entire week at his house to celebrate. Therefore, to him, the holiday meant family.
To me, at least this year, it meant a couple things. The first thing was that I would be heading to San Diego for a basketball tournament on the third day. The other thing that it meant was that, once in San Diego, I would be seeing the ever beautiful Brittany Zieglar, the goddess from Las Vegas. Somehow, Brittany had stolen my heart, and now she was holding it for ransom. Needless to say, I was really looking forward to seeing her.
To be completely honest, Brittany's power over me made it hard for me to focus on the task at hand, which was winning the West Coast USY Passover Tournament Championship. Ben noticed this on Sunday night, as we conducted our final practice before the tournament.
"Mac, can I have a word?"
"Just one word?"
"Very funny."
"Thank you. I'm a comedian, you see."
"Well, you're certainly not acting like a basketball coach right now."
"How do you figure?"
Ben looked annoyed.
"Let me put it to you this way, Coach: I know that you have plans to do whatever it is that you do with Brittany when we're in San Diego. But I need you to keep in mind that you're the biggest motivation that our guys have. Sure, I'm the head coach, but you're the one who really makes a difference...at least you used to be. But all you seem to care about is Brittany, and you're losing sight at what we're going to San Diego for."
"Ben, Ben, Ben. Relax!"
He gave me a look that said: "Relax my ass! I'm not buying the crap."
"The last thing our team needs is added stress. I think it's important to keep the work-load light so that they can save it for when they really need it."
He still wasn't sold, and I should've known he wouldn't be. My philosophy as a coach had never been described by the words I just said to my best friend.
"Okay, you caught me. I can't stop thinking about her. She's on my mind 24/7 and I don't know what to do."
"Listen, I understand. Trust me, before Sam and I got together, I would fantasize about her as she made free throws in practice. I could hardly concentrate on my coaching as well, but I knew that there was a task at hand. We gotta stay focused. We've come to far to back down."
"I know, I know."
"I mean, don't you wanna beat those guys from San Diego on their home court?"
"Of course I do."
"Then stop day-dreaming and blow your whistle. I think you ought to give the final speech of the night."
"Alright, Coach."
I blew my whistle.
"Okay, guys! Bring it in!"
They did as I commanded.
"We face Team Vegas in the first round. The last time we played them, we barely hung on for a narrow win. I think we ought to show these guys how much we've improved in the past four months."
There was some hooting and hollering from the team.
"Now get some rest, enjoy your seders, and I'll see you all at the airport Wednesday morning. Take your laps and hit the showers!"
I got my stuff together as I saw Ben's girlfriend Sam approach him.
"My parents won't be home until 9:00. Let's go back to my place and take advantage of the empty house."
"Alright, but I think I should take a shower first."
"You can take a shower there."
"Oh. Oh! I see what you're doing."
They kissed.
"Let's go."
They kissed again and left.
The next day, I got a text message from Ben saying I needed meet him at By the Slice for an emergency lunch. It would also be our final bread-meal for seven days.
"Is everything okay?"
"Here's what happened."
Ben told me about what happened when he went to Sam's house that night. Like they had been doing for about a month, the two had sex and then cuddled.
"And that's when she sprung the big news on me."
"What was the news?"
This was the news:
"I'm moving to Israel."
"What?"
"What?"
"That was my exact response."
"I know. I just read the pink font five lines up."
"Oh. Anyways, Mac, what am I supposed to do?"
"Ben, being that I dumped a girl recently because I was gonna be in Florida, which is still on the same continent, I'd say that I'm not the one to ask for advice on this subject."
"She's gonna be in Israel, Mac. Israel! That's 7,462 miles away!"
"I take it you looked that up on the internet last night."
"What else was I supposed to do? It's not like I could sleep."
"This is really getting to you."
"I love her, Mac. She's beautiful, and amazing, and she's crazy about me! Do you know what it's like to be with a girl who is all those things?"
"Yes. I call it life."
"Well...fuck you."
"Why don't you just live in the moment and not worry about the future? I mean, when does she leave for Israel?"
"After Passover."
"What? That soon?"
"She's gonna do the rest of her schooling online and is gonna take some Hebrew classes before she has to report to the Army in June."
"Wow. That's soon."
"Yup. I don't know what to do, Mac."
"I wish I could help you, Ben. Like I said, I'm the wrong person to ask for advice on the subject."
"Clearly!"
I felt bad for my best friend. He had never been in love before, and now that he was, she was gonna be leaving in a very short amount of time to a place where they speak a language that we only use during synagogue. On top of all that, he had to focus on coaching. That was gonna be the hard part, especially because the girl leaving him for Israel was our star player!
Needless to say, I was now more stressed out than ever about my job as assistant coach, knowing that my head coach would possibly be emotionally disabled during gameplay. Brittany called me the next night, and she couldn't have chosen a better time to call me and take my mind off of things.
"That sounds like a romantic complication."
"I like that wording. I just wish I could help him."
"Hmm. Well, I don't know how you can help him...but I know how I can help you."
"Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?"
"Check your e-mail."
I checked my e-mail and saw that Brittany had sent me a nice little picture of her in a white robe. I could only speculate what was under it.
"You couldn't have lost the robe for the picture?"
"What would be the fun in that? I don't wanna just give it away."
"So you're keeping me in suspense."
"Precisely."
"You're good, Zieglar."
"Have I taken over your mind yet?"
"You did that a long time ago."
"God, I can't wait to kiss the lips that speak those words."
"I can't wait for you to kiss them."
I looked at the time and realized that it was really late.
"I better go. I have a flight to catch in the morning."
"Okay, I understand. Just leave me wanting more."
"I'll see you in San Diego."
"Goodnight, Mac."
I hung up the phone. Suddenly, all thoughts having to do with basketball were out of my head.
The next day, I was ready to get on a flight with Ben, Sam, and the rest of the team. When I got to the airport, I saw a couple faces I hadn't anticipated seeing.
"Hey, Mac!"
"Aaron. Always a pleasure."
I was being completely fake when I told my former rival Aaron Youngston that it was always a pleasure. It was anything but a pleasure to be around that guy.
Close behind him was my ex-girlfriend (who happened to be his current girlfriend) Melinda.
"Hi, Michael."
"Hello, Melinda. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Aaron and I are both so excited to see you guys in the tournament."
"Are you?"
I looked in the corner of my eye and saw Ben and Sam having a bit of an argument at the gate.
"I thought we would've at least talked about it, Ben. Instead, you said 'Oh', put your clothes on, and left without a word."
"What was I supposed to say? The woman I love tells me she's moving 7,000 miles away in a week and expects me to know exactly what to say! Well, baby, here's a news flash: I didn't know what to say."
"You could've said something. Something other than 'Oh'!"
"Did you want me to beg you not to go? Because I'm sure that would've gone over well."
"I guess you'll never know if it would've gone over well because you didn't do it!"
The announcement that our flight was boarding came over the loudspeaker.
"I'm gonna see if Mac wants to switch seats with me. For some reason, I just really don't feel like sitting with you."
And that's how I ended up sitting next to Ben instead of sitting across from Aaron and Melinda. It kinda worked out in my favor, but I felt bad for my friend again.
"God, Mac, she makes me so mad! I mean, it's not like I could've said anything to change her mind."
"You're probably right."
"I just wish she could've waited until after the tournament to spring this news on me, Mac. I mean, just the other day I gave you a lecture on staying focused. And here I am, not even taking a second to look at my game notes or my lineup."
"That's okay, Ben. I can look at the lineup."
"Do you think we ought to bench her?"
I gave Ben a look of disgust.
"You're thinking about benching our best player because you're upset at a situation?!"
"Yeah, I guess that was a stupid idea."
"You're damn right it was a stupid idea. If we wanna have any chance at winning this game, we need both of you guys out there consistently throughout the game. I can hang back on the bench and coach from there. It's better to have a coach on the bench at all times.
"You mean you want me and her on the court together?"
"Listen, Ben, you're the head coach and you're gonna make whatever decision you're gonna make, but my suggestion is to have all our powerhouses out there. You and Sam are powerhouses."
"So are you? Why can't I coach from the bench?"
"You're much better than me, Ben. Having you out there would be more useful than having me out there. Trust my judgment here, Ben."
Ben groaned.
"Listen, Shaq and Kobe played together for years and hated each other, yet they were able to work well together because they left it all on the court. Can you please just do that? At least until the tournament is over? I don't know about you, but I really wanna win this thing."
He reluctantly nodded.
"Thank you. So it's settled."
"I suppose so."
The rest of the flight was quiet. We got off the plane and headed to Beth Shalom Synagogue in San Diego, the sight of the tournament. We were all immediately greeted by Gahl Sinai and Rivka Pasternak, who had recently become an item.
"Mac-Attack! Ben!"
"Gahl, Rivka."
I hugged both of them. It was good to see them, though it was kinda weird that they were now dating. I hooked up with Rivka a couple times, so it was interesting to see her with one of my best friends. Even with it being weird, both of them were happy and I was happy for them.
"We volunteered to be your team escorts throughout the tournament."
"Team escorts?"
"Basically, it's up to us to get you guys to the locker room on time."
"Speaking of which, let's get the team over there so you can get settled."
"Our game doesn't start for another two hours."
"Oh, we know, but we just wanted to make sure you guys are ahead of the schedule."
The one thing I could say about the tournament thusfar was that it was very organized.
We got to the locker room and dressed out into our brand new uniforms provided by West Coast USY. They were like the basketball uniforms that the pros wear, with the numbers sewn on and the last names on the back of the jersey. I felt proud to grab my jersey: Maccabbi #5.
It was at that moment, as we were suiting up, that all of the personal drama between certain members of the team didn't matter anymore, because we all had just one goal. That goal, of course, was to beat Team Vegas and go on to the finals to eventually win the tournament.
We walked out onto the court, and I looked up in the stands to see Brittany Zieglar cheering louder than anyon else. I nodded my head and winked at her as I led my team to the bench.
"The noise is on our side right now, so let's give the people what they came here to see!!!"
The team seemed inspired by that one sentence. I didn't feel that I needed to say anything else.
Ben and I walked to halfcourt to shake hands with the referees and with Steve Schuckman, the head goon of Team Vegas and the ex-boyfriend of Sam. He very fakely wished us luck as the buzzer rang. The teams then took their positions. As soon as the referee blew his whistle, the ball was tipped off and the game began.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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