The 18th Birthday in the Life of the Mac-Attack

Today, I am a man!

I'm not talking about when I became a man at my bar-mitzvah, or how I became a man when I lost my virginity last year. I'm talking about becoming a man legally!

My parents decided that they'd use this very special day to be cool and throw a bad-ass party for my twin brother Darrin and I.

I decided to have some of my friends from California fly in for the party. The Friday afternoon before the party, I went to the airport to pick up Gahl Sinai, Jake Josephson, and Max Altman.

"Mac!"
"Happy Birthday, Mac!"
"Thanks, guys! Hey, where's Jake?"

As if on cue, Jake Josephson walked up to us very slowly. He was moping.

"Hi."
"Hey, Jake. How are you."
"Fine."

He wasn't saying much of anything.

"Uh, okay. Good talk."

I looked at Gahl and Max.

"What's up?"
"Well, you know how Jake and Tara broke up...again?"
"Yeah."
"Well, last week, they got back together...again."
"Again?"
"Again."
"So why is he moping?"
"Because they broke up."
"Again?"
"Again."
"I swear, those two are so inconsistent that it drives me crazy."

We all looked at Jake who was sitting in the fetal position.

"Jake!"

There was a pause before Jake uttered a soft: "Yes?"

"Mac is gonna drive us back to his place now. You bought the plane ticket; you are gonna stay with us over the weekend. Right?"
"Yes. Yes I am."

He picked himself up and walked toward us.

"Sorry, Mac."
"That's quite alright, but we have to get back to my house for Shabbat dinner. My sister and her husband are gonna be there."
"I didn't know you had a sister. What's her name?"
"I'd rather not say."
"But I'm gonna be meeting her tonight. I should probably know her name.

I looked at Max and Gahl who both gave me very unsure looks.

"Her name is--"

I wished I could have left my sister's name out of this, but I knew that he would have to find out her name eventually. I couldn't back out now. He would've been suspicious.

"Her name is Tara, Jake."
"Her name is TARA?"

Jake began crying. I'll tell ya: in the last month, I had seen Jake cry on more occasions that I ever had in the entire four years we've known each other.

We arrived at my house where my buddy from Tuscon, Mohawk Barnes, had already gotten in.

"Mac-Attack!"
"Hey, Mohawk!"
"Gahl, Max! Hey, Jake! Who died?"

Jake began crying again. I explained the situation to Mohawk and he immediately apologized to Jake.

"I had no idea, bro. Jeez, how many times have your broken up?"
"This was the third time."
"Now that's what I call inconsistency."
"YOU THINK?! Oh, why can't things just go back to the way they used to be?"

He continued to cry as Darrin joined us.

"Oh, lovely. The National Honors Society is here."

Everyone, less a crying Jake, laughed at Darrin's comment.

"How are ya, Darrin?"
"I'm good--I see you still have the mohawk, Mohawk."
"That's why they call me 'Mohawk', Darrin."
"Really? I had no idea!"

Mohawk didn't exactly have an appreciation for Darrin's sarcasm, though the rest of us thought the comment was funny.

"Hi, Max. Hi, Gahl."
"Hi, Darrin."
"Hello, Darrin."
"Hi, Jake."

Jake acknowledged Darrin's presence and continued to cry.

"He's in a really good mood."
"Oh yeah. He's just glowing with excitement."
"So, Darrin, when are your choir friends gonna get here?"
"Not sure. Maybe in an hour."
"Choir friends?"
"Yeah. I'm in choir at school. You knew that, didn't you?"
"Darrin, I'm pretty sure this is the longest conversation you and I have ever had."
"Oh. Okay, well, anyway, there's like three or four of my choir friends coming over tonight and there will be a ton of them at the party tomorrow night."

Gahl suddenly had a thought.

"Darrin, can you repeat what you just said?"
"Three or four of my choir friends are coming over tonight?"
"Not that. The second part of it."
"There will be a ton of them at the party tomorrow night."
"Girls?"
"Yeah, quite a few."

Gahl looked at me, looked at Jake, and then looked at me again.

"Say, Darrin, do any of these girls get a little crazy at parties?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are they into...you know?"
"You mean sex?"
"Well, one of the girls has slept with every guy in the choir...except for me."
"Is she into heartbroken Jews from California?"
"Gahl, what are you thinking?"

We all looked at Jake.

"Gentlemen, we have an objective for this weekend."

That night, we had Shabbat dinner at my house. Darrin three choir friends at the house: his best friend Frank Mitchell, his best female friend Leila Sky, and the girl we hoped to set Jake up with, Ali Fallman. My best friend Ben showed up right as we were about to say the Kiddush (the prayer for the wine).

It was nice having my sister Tara and my brother-in-law Mark over at the house. It had been a couple months since I had last seen them. Tara's pregnancy was really starting to show, as she was six months along.

"So, Mark and I have some very exciting news for all of you."
"Tara, we all know you're pregnant. It's kinda obvious."
"You just interrupted me. Why would you interrupt me? That's just so rude!"

Mark leaned over to me.

"Gotta love these hormones. Mood swings every day."

I laughed.

"Quiet, you two! I need to tell everyone my news!"
"I actually thought we could, you know, tell them together."
"I'm the one who's carrying them!"

It suddenly got quiet. My father was the first to speak.

"Them?"
"Oh, well, I suppose the cat is out of the bag."
"My ex-girlfriend was allergic to cats."

Jake began crying at the table. Me and Gahl tried to console him as I digested the information that my sister was about to give.

"Tara and I are having twins!"
"Really? I would've never guessed when Tara said 'them'!"
"That's great, Mark! I'm so happy for you two."

My younger brother JT stood up.

"This is just FANTABULOUS! Let's propose a toast."
"I love that idea! There's nothing more important at this very moment than the fact that I'm carrying twins."
"Ahem."
"Oh, please. It's just a birthday. This has to do with me!"
"And me!"

My pregnant sister and her husband began making out at the table. She then whispered something in his ear and walked away.

"Well, that's our cue to leave. Mom, thanks for the wonderful meal. I'll see you all tomorrow night!"

Mark got up from the table very quickly to prepare for a night that would most definitely involve sex with a pregnant lady.

After dinner, we all decided we'd give our plan a little test-drive.

"I have some dishes to do. Hey, Gahl, wanna help me in the kitchen?"
"Sure. Hey, Mohawk, you should help us out in there."
"Sure thing."
"I'll put the left-overs away. Hey, Max, wanna help me with that?"
"I love putting left-overs away! It's my favorite chore at home."
"Then what are we waiting for?"

We all went into the kitchen. Soon, it was just Jake, Darrin, and Darrin's choir friends. But not for long.

"So, Leila, my mom got this new cookbook written by this lady named Giada. Interested?"
"Yeah! Let's take a look."
"Is this the same Giada who is on TV?"
"It sure is."
"She's beautiful. Let's all take a look!"

They left the room, and suddenly we were all in the kitchen listening in on a conversation that we took the time to set up.

"So, I guess it's just you and me now."
"I guess so."

He wasn't crying, but though a beautiful (and very easy) girl was talking to him, he wasn't very cheerful.

"We haven't formally met yet. I'm Ali."
"I'm Jake."
"You seem sad, Jake."
"Well, it might have to do with the fact that I am."

Ali seemed to sympathize with him...either that or she was just really horny and wanted to get into bed.

"If you don't mind my asking, why are you so sad?"
"It's personal."

Suddenly, we were all doubting the plan. Ali was obviously flirting with him, hoping he would open up. However, he was a closed book.

"Jesus, he's blowing it."
"I know. How can you not open up to a girl who looks like that?"
"Especially when she's completely willing to open up for him...if you know what I mean."
"Maybe he's shy."
"You don't know him like we do, Leila. Jake has never been shy."
"Not even around women?"
"Especially not around women."

We continued listening and heard Ali get up from the table.

"Well, I think I'm gonna join the others in the kitchen. It was nice meeting you, Jake."

As she began to walk toward the kitchen, Jake stood up.

"You wanna know why I'm sad? Do you really wanna know?"
"Listen, Jake, it's not really my business."
"I was in a relationship with an incredible girl since sophomore year. That's two years! And then she just decides that we ought not be together anymore. And then we get back together. And then we break up. And then we get back together. And then we break up. It's just so--"
"Inconsistent?"
"That's the exact word people always use. And quite frankly, I'm sick of that word."
"I'm sure there's another word that means the same thing."
"I mean that I wish it wasn't so inconsistent. I wish that there was some security in this relationship. Truth is, I have no idea if this is actually the end or if she's just saying it's the end this week."
"Don't you have a say in it?"
"One would think!"

Ali moved closer to him as they continued to talk.

"Whoa. I think it might be working."
"It was a natural move on his part. People don't like to be left alone, so when someone seems to be leaving, the person puts pressure on himself in order to keep the other person in the room."
"That's deep, dude. You should be a therapist!"

We went back to listening in on the conversation.

"So, I wanna just completely change the subject right now because I'd like to ask you a question."
"Sure. I was kinda tired of talking about that anyway. Thanks, by the way. That felt great."
"It usually does. Anyway, here's the question: have you spent much time in Phoenix?"
"I've been here a few times for USY events and to see Mac-Attack."
"Well, I've lived here my whole life. Would you be interested in a personal tour of the city tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I'd like that. But we'll need to be back here in time for the party."
"Don't worry. We'll be back in plenty of time. I can pick you up from here at 6 AM."
"6 AM? Isn't that a bit early?"
"Yup."

Jake thought for a moment.

"Say 'yes', you idiot!"
"Shh!"

Then suddenly:

"6 AM sounds perfect."
"Alright. I'll see you then."

About a minute later, Jake came into the kitchen.

"So that's why you must pre-heat the oven before you cook a meal."
"It's all so clear to me now."
"You could teach Home Economics, Darrin!"

Jake stared at all of us.

"Well, I better be going now. Come on, Leila, I'll give you a ride."
"Alright. Goodnight, everyone."

The two of them left.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to bed. Big day tomorrow."

Darrin went upstairs, leaving just me, Ben, Mohawk, Gahl, Max, and Jake.

"So, that Ali chick seemed pretty hot."
"Yeah, she's pretty. I kinda have a date with her tomorrow."
"Yeah, we heard--uh, I mean, that's great!"
"She's gonna be here at 6 AM, so I better get some sleep."
"Alright. Goodnight, Jake."

When our friend left the room, we all engaged in silent victory cheers.

The next day, Ali picked up Jake from my house and drove him over to Piestewa Peak (formerly known as Squaw Peak), one of the most breathtaking mountains in the Phoenix area. At the summit of the mountain, you can see everything.

"So that's where the Cardinals play, isn't it?"
"Yup. And it you turn the other way, you can see downtown."
"Wow. Have you been up here a lot?"
"Yeah. I like to go up here and just think about how good I have it."
"I take it you have doubts."
"Everyday."
"Why, if I may ask?"

She took a deep breath.

"You just met me last night, so you probably haven't noticed this about me. I have a very low level self-respect."
"Why? You're beautiful."
"Thanks. I get that a lot."
"If you get it a lot, you should believe it."
"I usually get it from the wrong people. The wrong guys usually."
"Well, did you ever stop to think that there might be a right guy?"
"None of the ones I've been with have been the right guy, and trust me, I've been with a lot of guys."
"We've all done something we're not proud of."
"Or someone."

Jake digested the comment before responding.

"I've only been with one girl. My ex-girlfriend Tara. She was my first and only."
"You're very lucky. I wish I'd never been with any guy. So much drama."

Jake got close to her.

"Not all of us are bad."

She gripped his hand as he stroked her hair.

"I know that now."

It was at that moment that Jake and Ali kissed at the very top of the mountain, with the city of Phoenix as their only witness.

A couple hours later, Jake came back to my place in a better mood than I had seen him in over a month.

"Good morning, Jake."
"Hey."

Max pulled me aside.

"He didn't do the mopey 'hi'! This is a good sign."

We all surrounded our friend, hoping for details.

"So, how did it go?"

Jake couldn't stop smiling.

"The smile on your face must mean it went well."
"You could say that."
"You're blushing, dude."
"And I've never noticed how straight your teeth are. You must've had an amazing orthodontist!"

We all gave Ben a strange look.

"My dad is a dentist. I notice these things."

There was a silence.

"Moving on, Jake, we need details."
"You know I don't kiss and tell."
"So you kissed her?"
"I just said I don't kiss and tell."

There was a pause.

"I totally kissed her."

We all began cheering.

"It felt so--different."
"How so?"
"Well, it's just that prior to this morning, I had never kissed anyone but Tara. To say the least, I was scared at first. But once I did it, it felt amazing."
"I'm happy for ya, buddy."
"Can I assume you'll be ditching all of us to hang out with her at the party tonight?"
"Would you be totally upset?"
"Well, it's just that I'm turning 18 and--I'm just kidding! Of course I won't be upset. Spend more time with her."
"Thanks, Mac. You're the best!"
"I know, I know."

Several hours later, the party was getting started. My USY crowd was there, Darrin's choir people were there, and my parents' adult friends who I had never met were there.

"Mac-Attack!"

I don't know if I've ever been at a party that B wasn't at.

"Thanks for coming, man."
"Thanks for inviting me."

He looked over at Jake, who was having a nice conversation with Ali.

"I guess Tara is long-forgotten."
"I'm sure she's not long-forgotten, B. Jake deserves to have a little fun coming off of such a tough break-up."
"Yeah, yeah. Any girls for me here?"
"There's a whole group of choir girls over there. Knock yourself out."

He looked at the girls and looked at me.

"God I love birthday parties."

He walked away.

I looked up after about three minutes and saw Ben walking upstairs with his girlfriend Sam. Gahl walked over to me after witnessing the same thing.

"They better not be using my room. I can tell you that much."

Gahl laughed.

"He sure has come a long way since Ariel Woods."
"Yup. She's a great girl. I'm glad he's happy."
"Speaking of great girls, I have to go call mine. You know how Rivka gets."
"Alright, man. Go call your girlfriend."

I looked around the room and saw that everyone seemed to have someone. Everyone except for me, that is. It was actually a feeling that wasn't exactly familiar. To be honest, I didn't like the feeling much at all. As the music played and people began to dance, I knew very well that I was the only one without a partner.

"Hello, Michael!"

I turned around and saw my ex-girlfriend Melinda standing before me.

"Hi, Melinda."
"Happy Birthday!"

We hugged.

"Thanks. Hey, they're playin' some good music. How about a dance?"
"You know, I'd really love to, but--"
"Hey, Melinda, they're playing our song!"

I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing in front of me was none other than Melinda's ex-boyfriend, and my former friend-turned-rival, Aaron Youngston.

"Aaron?"
"Hiya, Mac."

He shook my hand.

"I had heard you were in Israel."
"Yup. I spent the first semester of this year over there. After I resigned from the board, I was able to grab the last spot on this program. It was incredible. I was telling Melinda here all about it when we ran into each other last month."
"Last month?"
"Yeah. Surely she told you that we've been seeing each other again."

I looked at Melinda who was speechless.

"She must have failed to mention it."

It was awkwardly silent until I broke it.

"Well, you two go enjoy the music. It was good to see ya, Aaron. We'll catch up on things soon."
"Yeah. Sounds good."

A little background for those of you who haven't been reading my blog forever and ever: Aaron and Melinda were together the summer after junior year. However, she still had unresolved feelings for me and she left him, which worked out in my benefit because then her and I got together. But then we broke up in January. I suppose she'd been back together with Aaron at this point for a bit over a month.

This bit of new information could've very easily destroyed my evening. Luckliy, a chance phone call salvaged my life.

"Hello, stranger."
"Hi, Brittany. It's good to hear your voice."

I was glad that Brittany Zieglar called me. No one else could've turned my mood around so quickly.

"Did you know that we'll be seeing each other one week from Wednesday?"
"Yeah, that's right. The tournament starts Wednesday night."
"Which means we'll have all day before the game to...catch up on things."
"I like the sound of that."

I suddenly heard voices calling my name. I knew that I should probably get back to my party guests.

"Listen, Brit, I gotta go. I'll call ya tomorrow or something."
"I'm gonna hold you to that."
"Sounds good."
"Oh, and Mac-Attack?"
"Yes?"
"Happy Birthday."

Hearing those words come from her made me smile like I hadn't smiled in a long time.

"Thanks. I'll talk to ya later."
"Okay. Bye."

I hung up the phone and rejoined my friends.

Mohawk started driving back to Tuscon after breakfast the next day. After he left, I had three friends who I needed to drop off at the airport. Before we could head out to the car, there was a knock at the door. I wasn't surprised to see that it was Ali.

"Hi, Mac."
"Hey. Did you wanna come in?"
"No, this will just take a sec. Can I see Jake?"
"Yeah. He's in the other room. Let me go get him for ya."

A minute later, Jake was outside talking to Ali.

"Hey."
"Hey."
"So, this weekend was amazing."
"It was."
"I'm really gonna miss you, Ali."
"I'm gonna miss you too, Jake."

They kissed.

"Well, I have your number. Maybe I can call you."
"You could do that...but I doubt you will."
"What do you mean?"

She thought really hard about what she was about to say before she spoke.

"We both know that you're going to get back together with your girlfriend when you get back to L.A."
"First of all, she's my ex-girlfriend, and secondly, why would you assume that?"
"Because I'm sure that as much as you're gonna miss me when you leave, you miss her 100 times more right now."

Jake considered the theory.

"You know what? You're right. I do miss Tara. I miss her a lot."

Ali nodded and fought back tears.

"It doesn't mean I'm not going to miss you, though. It doesn't take away from the fact that I had an amazing weekend with you and that I'll remember it the rest of my life."

They kissed again, long and good.

"Jake! We're gonna miss our flight!"

Jake and Ali chuckled.

"I gotta go."

They kissed one more time, this time just a peck.

"Goodbye, Jake."
"Bye, Ali."

She had one more thing to say as Jake walked toward the car.

"Jake?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for being a good guy. It was nice to know how it felt to be around one."

Jake smiled and got in the car. I drove my friends to the airport, said my goodbyes, and then took the long way home so I could think for a while. For once in my life, I didn't have a whole lot running through my mind. There was only one thing: get through the next week and a half so I can get ready for the WCUSY Basketball Passover Tournament. However, it wasn't basketball that was on my mind. It was Brittany Zieglar, and the thought of seeing her again.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack