New Traditions in the Life of the Mac-Attack

"We're having Thanksgiving at Tara's house?"

Saying I was surprised was a bit of an understatement. Every year, we'd always spent Thanksgiving in Malibu with my grandma. However, since my sister Tara and her new husband Mark had just moved into their new house, the family made the decision to bring my favorite holiday...yes, MY favorite holday...to a new location.

"Michael, you're overreacting."

My mom's remarks were hurtful to say the least.

"That may be so, but you're being unreasonable! Whatever happened to tradition?"
"Sometimes, you need to be open to new traditions. Didn't you watch Fiddler on the Roof with us when it was on cable last year?"

What was I doing on that night?

Oh yeah, that was the night I hooked up with that one girl.

What was her name?

I believe it was Lily. Yes. Lily.

"I was probably hanging out with Ben that night, Mom."
"We really should own that movie. It's a Jewish classic!"
"Channukah's coming. I'll see what I can do."

We went off on this tangent for a while until I remembered what it was that I was trying to talk to her about before.

"Mom, how does Grandma feel about us suddenly deciding that her place wasn't good enough for Thanksgiving."
"She suggested that we let Tara and Mark host it."
"That bitch."
"Watch your mouth."
"Sorry."
"The decision has been made. Grandma has already bought her plane ticket."
"I'll refund her!"
"Michael--"
"Oh, there's just no use talking to you. Goodnight, Mother."

And on that note, I stormed upstairs to rant about the situation to Darrin, my twin brother.

"And the fact that she made the decision without us. Doesn't that make you mad?"
"I was there when she made the decision. We took a vote."
"Who is 'we'?"
"Mom, Dad, JT and myself."
"And where was I when you guys made this decision."
"It was a Saturday night. You were probably at Melinda's."
"So you guys just made the decision without me?"
"You're at Melinda's every Saturday night."
"You coulda called to get my vote!"
"Yeah, that would've been fun. Not like it would be awkward for Mom and Dad to hear Melinda saying 'GIVE IT TO ME, MAC-ATTACK' in the background."

I gave my brother a strange look.

"I do get home from school at the same time that you do."
"Right."

There was an awkward silence, and then:

"What were we talking about?"
"No idea. How about a Coke?"
"I'd love a Coke."

I told Ben about the situation during lunch the next day.

"It's not fair, Mac."
"I know! Finally, someone who agrees that traditions shouldn't be broken!"
"Traditions? I was talking about the prices for cafeteria food."
"What?"
"$3 for a slice of burnt pizza and a carton of milk just isn't right. They're ripping us off!"
"Ben, how did we get from Thanksgiving to school lunch?"
"When were we talking about Thanksgiving?"

Just then, my beautiful girlfriend Melinda appeared in my vision.

"What are you so worked up about?"
"How'd you know I was worked up about something?"
"Your shoulders are tense, your back is stiff, and plus, I'm a woman and I know everything."

With that sentiment, she kissed me softly.

"Hi."
"Hi."
"So talk to me, tell me what's wrong."
"It's the school lunch prices, Melinda. They are way too high!"
"Not you, you idiot. Me."
"What are you worked up about, Mac-Attack?"
"I just got done--oh, it's useless. I'll tell you again: instead of going to California like we ALWAYS DO, we're having Thanksgiving with Tara and Mark this year."
"Traditions were meant to be broken, Mac. Didn't you ever see Fiddler on the Roof?"
"No, but apparently everyone else has!"
"It's a Jewish classic."
"I get it! I should be open to change and Fiddler on the Roof is a Jewish Classic! Anything else?"
"Well, you forgot to mention the school lunch prices and--"
"That too!"

Knowing I couldn't get my best friend and my girlfriend to understand what I was saying, I walked off. I can only speculate what the conversation between the two was after I left:

"Not gonna lie. It's kinda a turn-on to see him so worked up."
"I think he's overreacting. Did I mention how unreasonable these prices are???"

A couple days later, it was the day before Thanksgiving. My dad decided it would be nice to have everyone over for pizza so that my Grandma could get settled in.

"Hello, grandchildren!"

We all rushed downstairs to greet her. She had three huge bags with just enough clothes to last her the weekend.

"I have a bag for each of you to bring to my room...and a 20 for the first one to be done putting my things away!"

Darrin and JT rushed to get her bags up.

"I don't need the 20. I have a job."
"You most certainly do. How are you, my love? I haven't gotten a call from you in weeks!"
"I've been better."

Grandma's face suddenly changed from giddy to concerned.

"Did you get a girl pregnant, Michael?"
"What? No, Grandma! I'm just a little sad that we're not having Thanksgiving at your place this year."
"That's what you're mad about?"
"Yes. We've been going to your place since I can remember. It's a tradition."
"But traditions change all the time. Haven't you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof? It's a--"
"Please don't say 'Jewish Classic', Grandma."
"But it is, Michael. It truly is."

I felt that the only justification for the change in tradition was the fact that Fiddler on the Roof was a Jewish Classic.

"If you don't wanna go to Tara's, you could always come to my house and spend Thanksgiving with me and my family."

I know she means well, but when I called her that night, she didn't seem to understand why it was that this was bothering me.

"It's not that, baby."
"Then what is it?"
"You always have Thanksgiving at your house, right?"
"Every year."
"So you'd feel weird if you had it some other place, right?"
"Maybe a little."
"For my entire 17 years of existence, we've had Thanksgiving at my Grandma's house. It was always so perfect, being right there on the beach. The only way I know how to have Thanksgiving is to have it at my Grandma's house."
"So it's what you're comfortable with."
"Exactly."
"Haven't you ever stepped out of your comfort zone before, honey? Haven't you ever tried something new?"

Her questions interested me.

"Well, I suppose I have."
"I know that you have. I remember back in Kindergarden. You were so shy and insecure and only hung out with me. But as the years went on, you came out of your shell and met more people. I even remember the first time you noticed girls."
"2nd Grade. Miranda Gonzalez. Wow, she was exotic."
"She was from Peoria."

I laughed a little.

"Michael, change is good. Remember a year ago when we were just friends? Now we're together, and that was a huge change. But, do you wanna know a secret?"
"I'd love to."
"I have never been happier than I am right now."
"Sitting in your room. talking to me about my insecurities via cell phone?"
"You know what I mean, silly."

We ended up talking on the phone for another hour. Just talking about life, school, memories, etc. One of the things that was so great about being with Melinda is that we were best friends for our entire lives before we got together. With her, I felt more content and alive than I ever had before. Most importantly, we knew everything about each other, and we probably knew each other better than we knew ourselves. The one thing that she's always been able to do is get inside my head and allow me to see things a little more clearly. That's kinda what she did when we were talking on the phone that night.

The next day, we arrived at my sister's house close to 2:00.

"HELLO, FAMILY!!!"

Tara was insanely giddy, as she had been since her and Mark got together this past summer.

"Welcome, everyone."

There was about 20 minutes of hugs and kisses (what I like to call the "Jewish hello").

"I love the house, Mark."
"Thanks, Rabbi. We got a great deal on it too. It just needed a little work, so I've been fixing it up since we got back from the Honeymoon."
"I'm telling you, Daddy, he's great with his hands."
"I'll bet he is."

My dad hit me in the back of the head for saying such a thing. I, for one, thought my comment was hilarious.

"Let's watch some football, Michael. I'm sure the ladies don't want us in their hair while they finish up dinner."
"Yeah, man. Sounds good."

We turned on the game. The Cowboys were really destroying the Raiders.

"Goodness, these scores are high. What inning is it?"
"There's no innings in football, Grandma. It's divided into four quarters. It's the 2nd quarter right now."
"If it's only the 2nd quarter, than how are the scores so high?"
"Each time a team scores a touchdown, they get 7 points. If they get a field goal; then they only get 3."
"And if the offense is tackled in their own endzone, the defense gets 2 points. It's called a Safety."
"This game is way too complicated. I think I'll go help in the kitchen."

Dinner was amazing. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, you name it. The pumpkin pie was rich in taste. And the truth is, I didn't think much about the fact that we weren't at my Grandma's house. I was thinking about the fact that I was with my family and that we were having fun. Eating, talking, etc. It was truly a great Thanksgiving.

I had driven myself there because I decided I wouldn't go straight home after Thanksgiving dinner. I decided to make a little detour to Melinda's house.

"Hey, honey. I wasn't expecting you."

We kissed.

"I had a crazy idea."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"I've been hearing a lot of talk about this Fiddler on the Roof movie. I couldn't understand the hype, so I picked up a copy in hopes that maybe you'd want to watch it with me."
"I'd love nothing more. Come on in."

We spent the next 181 minutes cuddling on her couch and listening to a man named Tevya sing about being a rich man and what not. As we sat and watched the movie, I could suddenly feel yet another tradition starting.

"We should definitely do this every year."
"It's not exactly a Thanksgiving movie."
"True...but it is a Jewish classic!"

And on that sentiment, we agreed to watch Fiddler on the Roof every Thanksgiving from that day forward, for as long as we both shall live.

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack

PS: If you haven't seen Fiddler on the Roof, please do. It's a Jewish Classic.