A Senior Ditch Day in the Life of the Mac-Attack

For centuries upon centuries, there has been a grand tradition in the United States of America. This grand tradition always happens the Friday before Prom, and we like to refer to this right of passage as Senior Ditch Day!!!

I just knew that it would be the best Senior Ditch Day in the history of Senior Ditch Days. This was because for the first time in months, everything in my life was going great. My girlfriend Melinda and I had gotten back together, my sister Tara and her husband Mark were about to give life to my first nephews, and graduation was in 20 days! To quote a phrase from the lyrics of the #19 Bilboard Chart Song from 1986, "My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades" by Timbuk3: Things are going great, and their only getting better!

Ben and I were sitting in our Economics class on Thursday, trying to decide how we would all spend the day we had been waiting for since the very first day of Freshman Year. Our 6'9, 400 pound teacher Mr. Bang, knew exactly what was up.

"Now, I want you guys to pay real close attention right now. I really want you guys to be at school tomorrow. We will be doing some important stuff and if you aren't here, I will be really disappointed."

Everybody stared at him.

"Guys, I'm kidding!"

We all laughed. Mr. Bang had easily become my favorite teacher this year.

"Okay, so since we are ditching, what should we do?"
"God, this would be a great weekend to go to California. The sun's out, and the beach is calling our names."
"Yes, but don't you have to go to pron with Melinda?"
"Well, that's the plan. We haven't had a real date since we decided to get back together. Prom was gonna be the first date."
"You guys got back together two weeks ago. If you haven't been going on dates, what have you been doing?"

This is what we had been doing:

"OH, MICHAEL! OH YEAH!!!"

And now, back to my conversation with Ben.

"You know, just hanging out."
"Hmm. Sounds boring."
"Not really."

Just then, the bell rang.

"Ben, I just got an idea!"
"Okay. Let's hear it."
"Okay, we get up really early tomorrow morning and we drive to California. We spend the day there and drive back Saturday morning. That gives us enough time to get back for prom."
"That's a great idea--one question."
"Shoot."
"Do you really think Melinda is gonna wanna go to California?"
"Sure she will."

I was wrong. She didn't want to come to California.

"I don't wanna go to California, Michael."
"Why not? Hell, the weather's nice and it'd be a great way to spend Senior Ditch Day."
"Where would we even stay?"
"My grandma lives in Malibu, remember?"
"Oh, because she'd be okay with you being alone with some girl doing God-Knows-What in the next room."
"It wouldn't be the first time."

Melinda gave out a fake laugh.

"Come on, baby, when was the last time we did something crazy?"
"We got back together, didn't we?"
"Yes, yes we did. But I'm thinking we should put a little more adventure into our relationship."
"So can't we just role-play? I'll be Princess Leia and you can be Jabba the Hut!"
"In the gold bikini?"
"Of course."
"Maybe we can do that while we're in California!"
"You're not gonna let this go, are you?"
"Do I have to get on my knees and beg?"

There was no response, so I got on my knees and begged.

"Please, oh please, can we go to California, Melinda? Please, oh please, oh please???"
"Okay, fine."

I got back on my feet.

"You're lucky you're cute."

We kissed.

"Okay, so we're gonna be leaving real early. I'm thinking 5 AM."
"5 AM???"
"Gotta go. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye!"

I kissed her quickly and ran out.

At 5 AM the next morning, like I promised, Ben and I arrived at her house. To our surprise, she was actually ready to go.

"I get shotgun, right?"
"Of course."
"What about me?"
"My car, my girlfriend, my rules."
"Okay, fine."

Ben got into the back seat and we got on the road.

"God, I love this time of day. Nobody on the road, no traffic, everything is just so peaceful."
"It's so peaceful because everybody is sleeping, which is what I wish we were doing."
"We can sleep tonight when we're in the comfort of my grandma's house."
"I sure do miss your grandma, Mac. Hey, do you think she'll buy condoms for us again?"
"I already have some."

I winked at Melinda and she laughed.

"So, we're gonna get to Malibu around 9 AM approximately. What do we do when we get there?"
"Well, I called my grandma last night and she said breakfast will be ready for us when we get there. Get prepared, baby. I don't know if you've ever had my grandma's french toast."
"I haven't."
"Yeah, Mac's grandma is a great cook. Those two weeks that we were here last summer were awesome!"
"Yeah, it was a pretty great time."
"Hey, you wanna know what would be funny?"
"What?"
"If we ran into Laura!"

It suddenly got quiet.

"Who's Laura?"
"She's nobody."

Laura Silverman was definitely somebody. Last summer, when my mind was all messed up and I decided on a whim to take a little trip to California, Laura was the girl who I spent most of my time with. I was extremely vulnerable when I first met her, but she had successfully gotten me to forget all my problems back in Phoenix. We ended on good terms, but I definitely didn't think about the prospect that I may run into her.

"Come on, who is she?"
"Mac's ex-girlfriend."
"She's not an ex-girlfriend."
"Then what is she?"
"Just a summer fling."
"Last summer?"
"Yes."
"Funny, you never said anything about her."
"There wasn't much to say."
"Hmm."
"Melinda, it's not like it meant anything."

That was another lie. In just three short weeks, I had easily fallen for Laura. Now, it was probably because I was in such a fragile state when she found me, but I had fallen for her nonetheless. And while my feelings for her were completely gone, I was suddenly worried about what would happen if I were to see her again.

"Are you sure it meant nothing?"
"Yes. She was just a girl who I hung out with for a little while."
"But you slept with her."

This would've been a good time to lie again, but instead I took the high road.

"I did," I said quietly.
"What?"

I found myself hitting myself in the head.

"Okay, I slept with her. I did. But I wasn't thinking straight throughout that entire time. I was so messed up from Convention that I was ready to do anything!"

To my surprise, Melinda didn't seem mad.

"You don't have to explain yourself, Michael. I mean, who am I to judge? I was so messed up that I got myself into a relationship with Aaron!"
"Twice."

She hit me playfully, and we were laughing again. I turned the volume of the stereo up and began blasting Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", my favorite all-time album. The epicness of the album helped make for an awesome car-ride for the rest of the way.

We got to my grandma's house at 9:15 AM. Her amazing french toast was waiting for us when we got there.

"Hello, my loves!"

All three of us were greeted warmly.

"Melinda! I'm so glad you're making an honest man out of my grandson again!"
"I try."

Melinda kissed me.

"Thanks for having us, Grandma. It's good to be back here."
"I'm just glad you are here. I thought I was gonna have to wait until graduation to see you!"
"Well, it's always nice to see you."
"Ben, you certainly have grown!"
"I have?"
"Now, all three of you can go inside. I've made up the guest rooms. You can put your things in there and we can all eat breakfast."
"Sounds great."

After we set our stuff down, we ate breakfast. It felt great to finally have food in my system after such a long drive.

"The weather is great outside if you kids wanna lay out on the beach."
"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you come with us, Grandma?"
"Nah, my skin is too pasty. Plus, Days of Our Lives will be on shortly."
"Your loss, Grandma. First one to the beach is a rotten egg!"
"You guys go ahead. I'm gonna help Grandma clean up."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'll be out there afterwards, though."
"Okay, baby. Sounds good."

I kissed her and ran to my room to change into my swim trunks. Then Ben and I raced out the door and to the beach.

"Those boys sure do get crazy. Thanks for helping me clean up, Melinda."
"Oh, it's the least I could do. We just kinda showed up here."
"Michael said you guys have your senior ditch day today."
"Yes, and then prom is tomorrow night."
"Does my grandson have anything special planned?"
"To be honest, I have a feeling he's not really interested in going. Michael has never really been into that stuff, but he did ask me. It was his way of getting us back together."
"I can't even describe how happy I am that the two of you are back together, Melinda. You know, the happiest I have ever seen Michael is when the two of you were dancing at Tara's wedding."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. And then when I found out that the two of you broke up, I was devastated, mostly because I felt like my grandson was being an idiot. But now you two are back together."
"We are."
"And you two seem happier than ever."
"We are. I really do love your grandson."
"And he loves you, which is why you two need to do yourselves a favor."
"Which is?"
"Don't break up this time. I was only in love once, Melinda, and I promise you that it doesn't get better than that. Michael's grandfather and I met on our first day of Junior High, and it took us until our freshman year of college to realize that we had something truly special. Sure, we broke up a few times throughout those years, but no matter what, we always came back to each other."

When Melinda came outside, Ben and I were messing around in the ocean. However, when I saw the smile on Melinda's face, I decided that I would call the wrestling match a draw and would go to my lady.

As soon as I approached her, I was met with a passionate kiss.

"Well, hello."
"I love you."
"I love you too. Hey, is everything okay?"
"Everything is perfect."

We kissed again.

"Mac Maccabbi???"

I turned around, and suddenly things didn't seem so perfect.

"Laura?"

She ran to me and hugged me, almost pusing Melinda out of the way.

"It's been too long, Mac!"
"Uh, Laura, I'd like to to meet Melinda...my girlfriend."
"Huh?"
"It's a pleasure, Laura. I've heard so much about you."
"Have you?"
"Laura?"

Ben was now out of the water and was ready to participate in the awkward reunion.

"Hi, Ben!"
"Uh, how are you?"
"Great! What brings you guys to Malibu?"
"Senior Ditch Day. We figured the beach house would be romantic."
"Oh, it is. I'm sure Mac remembers."

Melinda suddenly looked very uncomfortable, and frankly, so did I.

"So, uh, I'm thinking we should go back to the house and help my grandma clean the kitchen."
"I already helped her."

I looked at Melinda, who was very obviously making a statement.

"We came to California to hang out on the beach. So we're gonna hang out on the beach."

It was an uncomfortable situation, and one that I wanted no part of.

"Can we talk, baby?"
"Sure."

She shot a look at Ben and Laura, signaling the two of them to scram.

"Laura, have you seen the waves today?"
"Um, yes, but I can take another look."

They walked away.

"It's obvious that you're uncomfortable, Melinda. I'm uncomfortable too. Let's just go inside."
"Michael, it was your idea to come to California today. So now you're gonna deal with it. I'm not going anywhere."

Ben and Laura came back.

"So, I was just telling Ben that there's gonna be a bonfire tonight. Remember that bonfire last summer, Mac?"

Maybe it was the humidity, but it was also the nervous situation that was making me sweat.

"Yes. I remember."
"Maybe you three can come. I mean, since you will be leaving tomorrow and all. When's the next time we can all see each other?"
"Is it dry out here?"
"We would love to come to the bonfire tonight."
"Sounds great. I'll see you guys tonight, then."

She began to walk away, but she turned around and winked.

"Bye, Mac."

And then I fainted.

Later, when we were back at the house, I talked to Ben about the situation while Melinda helped my Grandma make lunch.

"This was a bad idea, Ben."
"I knew we should've just gone to Castles&Coasters!"
"Melinda has got to be furious with me!"

"Michael has got to be furious with me!"
"I remember that Laura girl from this summer, but she holds no candle to you, my dear. You just remember that you were Michael's first love...his true love."
"Did something like this ever happen to you?"
"Oh, yes. It was the last day of our freshman year of college. Sam came and surprised me by picking me up. But before we left, we ran into a frat-boy who I had hooked up with a couple months before. Well, one thing led to another, and the two ended up competing for my affection. Sam won, of course, just like you'll win this time. You just gotta keep a strong head...and maybe show a little bit more affection than usual."

"Do you think we can convince Melinda that we don't have to go to the bonfire tonight?"
"She seemed pretty adamant on going, Mac-Attack."
"This is the worst Senior Ditch day ever!"

That night, the three of us headed down to the beach for what would be a very awkward evening.



"Mac, Ben, Melinda! So nice that you could be here...especially you, Mac."

I gulped.



"There's great food, great music, and a great sunset about to happen. So enjoy."



She was giving me a devious look, and I was thinking that Melinda picked up on that, especially when Melinda groped me and began passionately kissing me as soon as Laura was done talking.

"Trust me, Laura, we will enjoy ourselves."

I had never seen Melinda act this way. She was acting crazy, possessive, and as if she owned me...and I had never been more turned on by her.



"I gotta ask you something, baby."

"Okay, what's up?"
"You don't feel jealous, insecure, or threatened by Laura?"
"No. Why would I?"

I smiled.

"You know you're the only one, right?"
"Of course."

She kissed me again.

"Let's dance."


And we did just that. To be quite honest, we didn't see Laura for the rest of the evening, and I was perfectly fine with that. When we got back to my grandma's house, we made love, and it was the best sex we'd ever had. Once again, everything felt right with the world. All that mattered was that I was back together with the only girl I have ever truly loved.

We left at 10 AM, after having Grandma's french toast one more time. I said goodbye and headed out to the car, but Melinda stayed for a minute.

"So, it worked, didn't it?"

"It did."

"And don't think I didn't hear you two last night."

"Oh. Uh--"

"It's okay, dear. You're in love!"

"We really are."
"Remember what I told you yesterday: the love the two of you have is as good as it gets, so please, whatever you do, don't lose it."

I honked my horn.


"You best be going, deary. I'll see you in a couple weeks for graduation."



The two of them hugged.

"Thank you for everything, Grandma."


Melinda headed outside and entered the front seat.

"Are we ready to go?"

"We are."

"Then let's do it."


We got on the road, and six hours later, we were back in Phoenix. I drove Ben home first and then headed back to Melinda's house. It was 4:30 PM.


"I have to make a confession."

"What's up?"
"When you asked me if I was threatened by Laura, I lied. I was threatened by her. She's beautiful, seductive, and to be quite honest, I even found myself attracted to her!"
"So you were threatened by her. How about now?"
"When you told me that I'm the only one, did you mean it?"
"Of course I did."
"Then I'm not threatened by her, or anyone else for that matter. I love you and I know that what we have is better than anything anyone else has to offer."
"I feel the same way."

Suddenly, my phone began to ring.

"It's my dad. This will just take a sec."



I answered.

"Hi, Dad."

"Are you back in Phoenix?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you?"

"I'm aout to drop Melinda off at her place."

"Okay, well, you need to get to the hospital. Tara's in labor."

"Oh my god. Okay, I'll be right there."



I hung up.



"What's going on?"

"I'm gonna be an uncle."

"She's in labor?"

"I gotta get to the hospital."

"I'm coming with you."

"But it's prom night. Don't you have to do your hair and nails and what not?"

"We can skip prom, Michael. I want us to be there for this."

I looked at my girlfriend and was truly amazed.

"Well, alright! Let's go to the hospital...Aunt Melinda."



We kissed and got back on the road, heading to the hospital where my sister was about to give life to my first nephews. They would be Melinda's first nephews too.


Sincerely,

Mac-Attack