It was the last board meeting of 2009, and it seemed that no one wanted to get anything done.
"Come on, Mac," said Tony Abromi, the Communications Officer/Resident idiot of the Temple Beth Zion USY Board. "It's Winter Break. Can't we just have a party?"
"Can't you just shut your yap?" asked Amanda Braun, our Membership Officer who had actually hooked up with Tony on the USY Camping Trip a couple months back.
"I ain't talkin' to you, Hot Lips."
"Don't call me 'Hot Lips', pizza-breath!"
It seemed that Amanda had regretted the hook-up ever since it happened.
"Can we please have some order here, folks? It's the last meeting of the semester."
"What do we even need the meeting for, Machiavelli?"
"Yes," intervened Sharon Stone, our Israel Affairs Officer. "Programming this past semester was great."
"The campin' trip was the best."
Tony winked at Amanda.
"Ew."
"Listen to Mac," said Ben. "Programming last semester was great, but what about this semester. There's a lot that has to get done."
"Thank you, Ben. Come on, people, we need ideas."
"I've got an idea."
For some reason, we could always count on Josh Mauer, the Religion/Education Officer, to come up with good ideas.
"Okay, Josh. The floor is your's."
"Thank you, Mac.
Just then, he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and began reading from it.
"Friends and Fellow Board Members, I feel that it would be quite beneficial to propose a new form of USY Programming."
"And that form would be--"
"SHHHH!"
"Sorry. Continue, Josh."
"I have two passions in my life: Judaism and the Theatre! I feel that I should be using both my passions together. So, my proposition would be to start a USY Theatre Program, with your director Your's Truly."
"The theatre? Are ya serious right now? In New York, we don't even know what that word means!"
"New York City is the Broadway Capital of the World, you idiot."
"Uh, I was talkin' about Brooklyn."
"Sure you were."
"SHHH!!!"
"Keep talking, Josh. We're intrigued."
"Well, here's the goal: to perform plays for Temple Beth Zion's community."
"What does the theatre have to do with Judaism, Josh?"
"If you'll stop interrupting me, you'll know!"
"Sorry."
"There are plenty of short plays that have to do with the Jewish holidays, as well as the torah portions. I was thinking that we could perform every two months so that we always have a month to prepare."
"And a month is all you would need?"
"Totally."
"Well, Josh, if you feel you can pull it off, go for it. All in favor?"
Everybody but Tony said "Aye".
"Then with a near unianimous vote, I hereby grant you permission to run the First TBZ Theatre. Your first play is in February, so please be prepared."
"Thank you, Mac."
"Well, it looks like we're out of time. Before we adjourn, is there anything else that you guys would like to discuss?"
"No."
"With that sentiment, meeting is adjourned. Have a great Winter Break."
Everyone except for Ben and I ran out of the room as soon as I said the word "break".
"I don't know if I've ever seen such an eager group of people."
"You know, Ben, it just hit me--we're about to enter our last semester of high school."
"I know. It's so weird."
"Have you heard from U of A yet?"
"Nah, I just sent my application three weeks ago. What about you?"
"Well, I've only sent out one application."
"ASU?"
"Nope."
"NAU?"
"No way. Who'd wanna go to NAU?"
"Well, I know you don't have any interest in U of A, so where did you apply?"
"The University of Florida."
Ben was quiet.
"Did you say Florida?"
"I certainly did."
"The Sunshine State?"
"Yup."
"In the Southeastern Region of the United States?"
"Yes, Ben."
"But, it's so...far."
"That's the point, Ben. There's nothing for me in Arizona."
"But you've lived here your whole life."
"If you'd lived in Arizona your whole life, you'd understand why I wanna get out. And plus, UF is my dad's alma mater. I've wanted to go there my whole life."
"So that's why you always rooted for the Gators."
"Exactly."
"So I just have one more question."
"Okay. Hit me."
"Does Melinda know that you're looking to go to school 2000 miles away?"
As a matter of fact, I hadn't told Melinda about my college aspirations. It really wasn't a subject that we talked about. In fact, we hardly talked about the future at all.
"No, Ben. I haven't told her."
"Well, how are you two gonna be able to stay together if she's going to ASU next year?"
"I guess it's not something I've really thought about, Ben."
"When did you apply?"
"Right before my sister's wedding."
"So you and Melinda weren't really together when you applied."
"No, but I hardly see what that has to do with it."
"Well, I was thinking that maybe when you two got together, it gave you a reason to stay here."
"Ben, I love her. You know I love her. But this is my future we're talking about."
"And your future doesn't involve Melinda?"
There was a pause.
"I guess I don't know."
After I got home that night, I began to think more and more about where I would see myself in the next 10 years. In truth, I had no idea what I would be majoring in or even what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that Florida had a very good business school (which is where my dad got his first degree), but I didn't know if that was the field that I wanted to go into. The main thing I thought of was Melinda, and whether or not we would be together in this future.
That night, I had a dream of one possiblilty, and it went a little something like this.
"Honey, I'm home!"
"Hello, Darling. How was your day?"
Melinda was there, and obviously she was my wife in this dream. I was wearing a business suit, so perhaps it meant that I had become a businessman.
"It was great. A lot of exciting stuff is happening."
"Tell me about it."
"Brett Favre wants to sign with us--and with me as his agent!"
Mac-Attack Maccabbi: Sports Agent. It has a nice ring to it.
"Wow! How long has he been playing now?"
"He's about to start his 30th season, and he's doin' it in style!"
"Where is he gonna play?"
"Good Ol' Arizona, where he'll be the Starting Quarterback for the Cardinals!"
"Well, then, how about a toast?"
Out of nowhere, a big bottle of champagne and two glasses appeared.
"To my husband the sports agent."
We raised our glasses and kissed. Just then, five small children came running down the stairs. There were 3 boys and 2 girls, and they all looked exactly like Melinda and I.
"Kids?"
"Yes. We have five of them."
"Five kids?"
I was beginning to panic.
"Well, when we got married, you said you wanted a big family."
"I did?"
"Yes. And it is a big family. Isn't it wonderful?"
As five screaming children were jumping all over me, calling me "Daddy" and what not, I finally woke up from the dream. I was shaking and sweating in my bed.
The next morning, I came downstairs and saw that Melinda was at my house, sitting and talking with my mother over some biscuits and gravy.
"Oh, good. You're up. Your plate is over on the counter."
I was confused as to why my girlfriend was there.
"Uh, thanks."
"Good morning, baby."
She came over to me and gave me a kiss.
"Hi. Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Your mom invited me over for breakfast. She actually invited me to spend the whole day with her, Tara, and JT."
"You're spending the day with my mom, my sister, and my gay brother?"
"Yes. We're gonna buy some baby-stuff for Tara."
"Baby-stuff?"
"And then I figured you and I could stay in tonight, maybe watch a movie."
"Stay in?"
"Yeah, I just wanna relax. Finals took a LOT out of me."
"Melinda, are you ready to go?"
"Yes, Mrs. Maccabbi."
"Oh, enough of the 'Mrs. Maccabbi' talk. I think we've known each other long enough that you can call me Mom!"
I began shaking again. The color in my face flushed.
"I'll see you later, baby."
She kissed me and left with my mom and my brother JT, who seemed very excited to be having a girls' day out.
When they left, I sat down in a chair and tried to get my thoughts together. Just then, my twin brother Darrin came downstairs and looked at me in amusement.
"You look like shit."
"Thanks, asshole. So do you."
"Hey hey hey, what's your mood?"
"I just have a lot on my mind."
"Like what?"
"Well, for starters: I wanna go to UF really badly, but now I realize that going away means that my future may not involve Melinda. Then I had a dream last night that Melinda was involved in my future. And we had kids--FIVE KIDS!"
"They must have really shitty birth control in Florida, then."
"And now, Melinda is going shopping with my family and calling my mother 'Mom'. And I don't know what I wanna do with my life or if I even want Melinda to be the woman whom I share my life with. And I'm scared, shaking, and confused. AND I DON'T WANT FIVE KIDS!!!"
Darrin was silent for a second.
"So, you don't want five kids?"
"I don't know if I want three kids."
"Or two?"
"Well, I at least want two. I don't want to have an only child."
"So you do want kids."
"Well, God did say 'Be Fruitful and Multiply'."
"But you don't know if you want to have kids with Melinda?"
"I don't know, man. I love her."
"Maybe you're overreacting."
"Perhaps."
"Don't stress. It's not like you've gotten into UF yet. Worry about it then."
"That's a good idea. Thanks, bro."
"It's what I'm here for. You wanna go down to the driving range?"
"Yeah, why not?"
A few hours of hitting golf balls went by. When we got home, Melinda was sitting in the living room with my mom, my sister, and my younger brother.
"Hey, baby."
"Hey. How was today?"
"It was fantabulous!!!"
"I had fun."
I kissed my girlfriend and sat down. Just then, my mom handed me an envelope.
"Michael, this came for you from the University of Florida today."
The envelope was adressed:
Michael Maccabbi
20246 East Avenida Street
Phoenix, AZ 85054
It was from:
The University of Florida
Office of Undergraduate Admissions
PO Box 114000
Gainesville, FL 32611
I was completely still. Everything that was on my mind (the future, Melinda, my five children, etc) suddenly came back to me. My future was inside an envelope, and I knew that as soon as I opened that envelope, my future would be sealed.
Sincerely,
Mac-Attack
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