Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A Proposition in the Life of the Mac-Attack...

Summer began with a bang for me this year...well, it almost did . It was barely June, when I recieved an IM from Carrie Wilcox, a girl with whom I have had an extremely complicated relationship for the last year and a half. (The first time her and I hooked up, February of Freshman Year, she had a boyfriend who treated her like garbage, so I felt that she deserved to be treated with respect. Safe to say it was hardly a proud moment for the Mac-Attack.) So, Carrie and I were talking for a couple hours. At this particular point in her life, she was dating Derek Johnston, a creepy bisexual guy who wore cat-ears and collected knives. She was a big fan of complaining about boyfriends, and I tended to be the guy she complained to. OUT OF NOWHERE, Cara suddenly stated to me:

"Mac, I don't want to pressure you...but do you want to sleep with me?"


I am gonna be honest...I couldn't believe I had just heard that. I mean, her and I had made out more times than I could count, but SEX?! I began to wonder how many times she had asked the same exact question. I mean, it just sounded like such a matter-of-fact question, as if it was completely normal to propose a night of passion to a guy who she wasn't dating.


To be honest, these thoughts only circulated in my mind for about 10 seconds (I had to respond, I didn't have time to think!)

"Um, Carrie, can you repeat the question please?"

Carrie laughed because she could tell I was nervous. You see, she hadn't been a virgin in over a year. I, however, had been a virgin for 16 years, which is a LONG time in guy years.

I saw another IM from her that said: "Well, do you?"

For the first time in my life, I, Michael Maccabi, had been unsure of how to answer. My whole life, I was always quick with a response. For instance:


"Michael, did you eat that last cookie?"

"No, Mom, I think JT did it."


But this time, I was literally scared to answer what would be the single most important decision of my 16 years on Earth. If I said "Yes", I would be losing my virginity to the village bicycle, however, if I said "No", my reputation as the Mac-Attack would be shattered, for I would be the guy who said NO to SEX! How could I ever live that down?


So, naturally, to prove that I was indeed the Mac-Attack, I said YES.


I ended the conversation quickly because I wanted to go to sleep; it was really late at night, and I needed to do some serious thinking.


The next day was Saturday. Every Jew knows that Saturday is the SABBATH and on the SABBATH, we go to SYNAGOGUE!!! My dad, known to everyone else as Big Al, was a strong believer in going to synagogue on Saturdays, especially since he was the rabbi and all.

"Michael, I'm very proud of who you are," is always how Big Al starts our conversations on the way to synagogue. However, I wasn't particularly in the mood to be praised this particular morning.

"Dad," I started. "I need to be honest with you, because I need your advice." (I would come to regret telling him what I told him that day on our way to synagogue). "I talked to Carrie last night."

"Oh?" replied Big Al. "What did Carrie want?"

I swallowed some water and turned to look my old man straight in the eye.

"She wants...my virginity!"

The car came to an abrupt stop!

SCREEEECCHHH!!!

Big Al didn't have to say anything for me to realize what he was getting at. He was either implying that I shouldn't sleep with Carrie...or he had just hit a RED LIGHT!!!

Either way, my dad finally voiced his opinion as we approached the synagogue:

"Remember, son, this girl could very well have STDs."

I took my dad's word for it and decided not to sleep with Carrie. After all, maybe it will improve my reputation if the good people of Deer Valley High know that I have self-control. Even if it did ruin my reputation, there's more to life than the way people look at you...YEAH RIGHT!!!

Sincerely,
Mac-Attack

Introduction--

Meet Michael Maccabi, aka THE MAC-ATTACK.

On the outside, Mac may seem like the most awesome human being on the face of the planet. HOWEVER, he continues to struggle with the challenges of everyday life.

Mac is also JEWISH...VERY JEWISH! He spends most of his time at Temple Beth Zion (TBZ for short) and is very active in TBZ USY, part of West Coast USY, one of the biggest USY Regions in the nation.

His best friend is Ben Sheiner. They attend Deer Valley High School in Phoenix, AZ. Ben is always there to back up his friend, especially when Mac's reputation may be on the line.

His other best friend is Melinda Moskowitz. Melinda also attends Deer Valley High and is the President of TBZ USY. Her parents are good friends with Mac's parents. The only difference between Melinda and everyone else: she refuses to call him the Mac-Attack.


On top of school and USY, Mac has a twin brother named Darren, a younger brother named JT, and an older sister named Tara. His father, Albert Maccabi (or Big Al) is a well-respected healthcare consultant-turned-rabbi. His mother, Shayna Maccabi, works at TBZ as an office manager. Mac's family can get on his nerves, but in reality, they keep him sane as he makes continuous attempts to keep up with his reputation as the MAC ATTACK!!!